Everything that's been played on, or is related to the show

Time Crisis

Yeah I'm gonna take a trip down the TC Road
I'm gonna, binge lotsa episode...

Every other Sunday 
Man that ain’t enough
Any day without it
Is unbearably buff
Bankin’ episodes in my second TC fridge
Break em out when needed
Just like Lonnie’s dad’s McRibs

Deep dive right into the TCU...
Jake, Seinfeld, Ezra and the whole crew...

Pluggin’ in my new Beats
Lounging in my bedsheets
Father of the Bride vinyl 
spinnin’ on repeat
Sippin’ on Brad’s Drink
Don’t let it spill,
Chuckin’ them Steve Miller CDs in the landfill
I’ll take a trip down the TC Road
Just watch me, binge every episode...

Yeah I'm gonna take a trip down the TC Road
I'm gonna, binge every episode...

TC Road

The Crisis Crew Is Back!

Old Town Road was a hit that was infinite
Jeff Epstein made me sick
It was still pretty neat, talking alt rock beefs
In the summer, in the summer
I like TC heads wearing bootleg merch 
So go do your own research
And meet back here for another, TC summer

2019 man I’ll never forget
Ezra and Jake banked a lot of eps
They had a correspondent by the name of Max
Amazon didn’t pay a nickel of tax

The 1975 were kinda nasty
But Dan from Imagination Dragons kept it classy
The Father of the Bride tour hit the road
With a spinning big blue and a Croakerman toad

Old Town Road was a hit that was infinite
Jeff Epstein made me sick
It’s still kinda neat talking alt rock beefs
In the summer, in the summer
I like TC heads in their bootleg merch 
Now go do your own research
And meet back here for another, TC summer

TC Summer

Have you got holes in your lawn, need the weeds to be gone?
Your landscapin' is causing you frustration there is no doubt
Is your property spoiled? Need some brand new topsoil?
Don't be nervous we've got the perfect service just give us a shout

Email, email
8 Minute Laid Sod
We're quick, so quick
But our work is slipshod
We'll come, we'll come
Repair the lawn beneath you
Don't let those weeds win...

8 Minute Laid Sod

Coffee time
He's gone from shore to shore
He's on a quest
He's done 15,000 stores
Yet he's got 15,000 more

Hit the town
Sniff around
Coffee grounds
Cuz we’re Starbucking with Winter!

Yes it's true he finds it quite bland
Hand him a simple drip
Cuz frankly he's just sick of it
He's, tenacious man
With a to-go cup in his hand...

Hit the town
Sniff around
Coffee grounds
Cuz we’re Starbucking with Winter!

Starbucking With Winter

A man walks onto a film set
Sits in his Wikipedia chair
Crushes books and writes songs
Got lots of moments to spare

While Hannah’s busy directing
A few days in Calgary is fun
Maybe do a bit of exploring
He’s got some time to go for a

Run, run he ducked out for a moment with his cute little doggie on a coffee tour
far away away over six lanes of traffic across pedestrian bridges and parking lots of local stores

When Jake heads to Tim Horton’s 
He will bring his four-legged pal
At first they named her Allie
But every time he calls her, he just calls her Al

Call Her Al

Y'all know TC, fans of the jam-band scene and the Grateful D
Shout out John Mayer and the Dead and Co, plus the Twiddle bros, gettin' spacy

But they got a little trouble with a rock and roll hall of famer, dude is a huge complainer
Runnin' his mouth now that Jerry's gone, goin' on and on, he  could not be lamer

Nowadays Steve Miller wanna talk like he's got time to spare
But he should know better than to diss The Dead, got a screw loose in his head
And Miller always acts like he forgot about Jer

So what do you say about somebody mean?
Jam with you one day then dissin' your team?
Open your mouth and you're ventin' your spleen?
You ain't a Space Cowboy, you a drama queen

Nowadays Steve Miller wanna talk like he's got time to spare, but he should know better than to diss The Dead, got a screw loose in his head
And Miller always acts like he forgot about Jer

FORGOT ABOUT JER

Went to a party, down on ‘broke vegan street’
Goldfish and hummus man that is so cliched
Snuck in the kitchen, fixed myself a treat
Everybody stopped and stared at what I had made

Oh, I've seen popcorn and I've seen raisins
Until now puttin' them together was deemed, too brazen
When you mentioned it to people they'd often laugh
But the time has finally time for this awesome snack...

Popcorn n' Raisins

This year it started with a real bang
Talkin’ ‘bout the Jamflowman
Ezra, Jake and all the gang
 
New VW/tracks dropped two by two 
Seinfeld’s in Japan/only calls in when he can
Harmony Hall video/Despot on the show
Tellin’ us how presidents hatch from an egg
 
Ariana Grande with the Cloud Macchiato
Also Bebe Rexha did a weird potato chip collabo
 
Cazzie David’s nauseous but she’s interested in topics like the BJU  
Eva Longoria/she’ll direct the origin, story, of /Flamin Hot Cheetos
 
Mountain Brews/Mountain Time
Weird Beto subject lines
Subway Series/Portmanteau
NYC Homecoming show
Huey Lewis/Bon Iver
Popcorn/Raisins finally here
Steve Miller full of hate
Connecticut don’t pull it’s weight
 
Father of the Bride, man it’s really been a ride
They’re Grammy nominees!
 
It's the end of the TCU season
It's the end of the TCU season
(Welcome to moy loyfe...)
It's the end of the TCU season, rise and shiiine...

Ezra outro: 'Lonnie's dad, ate McRibs on Sunday morning...'

It's The End Of The TCU Season (rise and shiiine)

The Fall Of Seinfeld

Jake!

When I get the rock I always take it to the hole you know
I’m raisin up my game diversifying my portfolio

Get my affairs in order cuz it’s time to shoot my shot
Make a big direct deposit in your overnight slot

Invoice, invoice irrefutable 
Cash is everything/and everything’s recoupable

Never mind them bed sheets
lemme get them spreadsheets
Paper trail with the receipts 
From the widow/to the Wall Street

INVOICE

Ezra was born/out in NYC
He once tagged Lacoste near his window
TC Heads are celebrating on his big day
So break out some fresh Pulparindo

Let’s all sing happy birthday on a FaceTime chat...
His birthday is today!
His birthday is today!

Now what would you like for a special treat? (Ezra) ‘wangs’
That’s better than a Butterfinger

And now here comes your birthday cake!
It’s the one that Rashida baked
The candles are lit/make a wish
So now/Blow them out
(Ezra outro) ‘scg’

Blow Them Out!

In COVID times, if TC’s on a bye-week well it might come on at midnight or 9

In COVID times, Jake’s art show was cancelled, so he unveiled his new paintings online
 
In COVID times, Winter’s not Starbucking just like Vampire Weekend’s not on the road 

In Covid times, you’re not s’posed to go out, so you just, stay, home

No assembling of the Crisis Crew
Social distancing is what they do
Larry David stopped by Cazzie’s room
That was cool...

COVID Times

My friends from high school, come out to see us
Our gear fits nicely into my Prius
Once we get cooking no one can stop us
I print our flyers out, at lunch, in my office

Now, you won’t hear us, on your radio station
Most of our fans are direct relations
Two tight sets, then straight home again
My kids got soccer practice in the morning at 10

We are a regional band!
A strictly regional band
We are not widely known
We book shows near our homes
We are a regional band!

We Are A Regional Band!

Daniel my brother, you were/good on TC/will you still tend the bar?/when they end quarantine/our sorrows drowned/while talkin’ Allentown/when Daniel’s at the bar/on a Saturday night...

Daniel At The Bar

(There’s some corn drippin out)

I said, certified beef
Seven days a week
Ranchero sauce streaks
All up in your bedsheets...
Yeah...

Yeah you eatin’ a wet ass burrito
Bring your bib, from your crib, for this wet ass burrito
Wipe your chin, ten napkins, for this wet ass burrito

Went out to dinner, just me and my wife
Worst margarita I had in my life
Wet ass burrito was drippin’ with goo
Gave it a two, and a bad Yelp review

Stainin’ my shirt, stainin’ my jeans
Loaded with cheese and with too many beans
Mushy tomatoes too much sour cream
A whole lotta guac, comin’ outta the seams
Something is off, the burrito is funky
Don’t let it drip on my new Chunky Dunkies
We gotta swing by Lonnie's dads
Defrost some McRibs cuz we're hungry...

I’m gonna come out and say it, we need Cazzie David, on our TC eps, she’s the best, let’s face it 
She got a cool vibe, but it’s tricky to place it
Kinda loves pop culture, but doesn’t embrace it

But check it; she’s set to mess with, anybody else on the TC guest list
Rashida, she’s kinda by far the leader, but Cazzie’s on track to come back and beat her
And Winter, your record is about to be splintered,  you’re catching up slow but Cazzies a sprinter 
Here’s a fun fact; a ‘3-peat’? she’s done that, and I don’t see Jamie Foxx making a comeback


This show is #MustSeeTC
So everybody, just take a seat
Cuz she’s gotta lotta, anxiety
And it feels so angsty with Cazzie
I said this show is #MustSeeTC
So everybody, just take a seat
Cuz she’s gotta lotta, anxiety
And it feels so angsty with Cazzie

Cazzie David #MustSeeTC

It’s Claire
It’s Claire
All she wanna do is drink her icecaps
It’s Claire
It’s Claire
Catch her at a Dunkin pickin up snacks

She grew up in Georgia, 
Went to school in Athens, 
Love to watch the Dawgs play
Football is a passion
It’s Claire
It’s Claire 
She moved away but soon she’s coming right back

You know she love to listen to Time Crisis
She won a lotta merch you know it’s priceless
Had a TC meet-up in Chicago
Saw VW and had her mind blown

She don’t even care how long it takes
One day she’ll buy a mattress just like Drake’s
And if you’re ever wonderin’ where she’s been
She’s probably Starbucking with Winter and Tessine

She’s a TC Head, a TC Head
She’s listening with Tucker while they lay in bed
A TC Head, a TC Head
She trying to figure out what books the book club read

It’s Claire
It’s Claire
All she wanna do is drink her ice caps
It’s Claire
It’s Claire
Catch her at a Dunkin pickin up snacks

She grew up in Georgia, 
Went to school in Athens, 
Love to watch the Dawgs play
Football is a passion
It’s Claire
It’s Claire 
Now she’s in Chicago just to chillax…

It's Claire!

He makes his living with taste and restraint
Give him a Chase Bank, or Pizza Hut to paint
His birthday is today; yours ain’t
Let’s throw Jake a party! 

He’s an American painter, and a rock music sage
Does he know current pop culture? It’s difficult to gauge 
Cuz 44’s 'a real-ass age'
Let’s throw Jake a party!

Mix the margaritas up
Drink ‘em all down...
Mix the margaritas up
Pass ‘em all ‘round...

Time Crisis

Patrickworld