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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about making scary changes in your life when you are ready to “scale up” in personal development.

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In this podcast you’ll find:

    Talking about ‘scale up’ moments, which are scary even if we know it would be good for us.
    The character Neo in the move “The Matrix” is a great example of letting go of others expectations and scaling up by resting into his own sense of integrity.
    We face moments when we realize ‘what got us here won’t get us there’.
    Transitions aren’t just scary, they’re also painful.
    Based on ancient programming, a part of us fears that if we fail after the transition we’ll literally die.
    The scariest part isn’t the transition; it’s the initial decision of making big change.
    The transition is usually more frustration and painful. You have to pick up new skills and one learns things about themselves that may not be flattering.
    When we finish the process, we almost always look back and say “That wasn’t so bad.”
    A helpful model is the HAT model – Healing, Achievement and Transcendence.
    When we’re scaling up, we’re putting more pressure through the ‘pipe’ and more cracks are exposed. We mistake this new self-understanding with a belief that we’re broken and not ready for the next level.
    Going through the transition is what exposed the cracks in the first place, so it’s all a healthy part of the process.
    Once you get to the next ‘vine’ you feel so accomplished.
    It’s easy to blame outside circumstances to mask the fear of scaling up, or to believe that no one will help you during the process.
    Alternatively, it’s healthier to see oneself as responsible for transitions and also find mentors and coaches to help during the process.
    It takes balls and determination and persistence to make big changes in life.
    Some have the problem of being in transition too much and have trouble sticking with just one thing, which can be its own challenge.
    Having the strength often comes by doing the thing you’re madly in love with doing.
    It’s important to really know what you want, and avoid ‘counterfeit’ desires.
    Some people end up in ‘satellite’ careers – something close to their heart’s desire, but one step removed.
    Surrounding yourself with people who are already where you want to go helps you get to your end game faster, and proves it can be done with ‘dying’.
    It’s also important not to mistake lateral change with vertical growth.
    Being able to make big transitions is the first step toward playing a Bigger Game.
    Familiarity can keep one in bad, sometimes dangerous, situations.
    All growth happens out of our comfort zone, so comfort isn’t always our friend.


Making Scary Changes In Your Life | PODCAST 0013

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the Graves Model of development created by Clare Graves.

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In this podcast you’ll find:

    Developed by Clare Graves, the Graves Model focuses on Self-Actualization.
    After studying Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Clare asked himself, what does Self Actualization mean and happens when we self-actualize?
    He asked a group of people for over 50 years – ‘how would you define a healthy person? He noticed that their responses show a pattern. People were going on different stages of growth and development. He saw a model emerging that both worked on a micro and macro level.

    Beige – Survival Level. Everything is about me and my personal survival. Examples – birth to 4 years old, people who are homeless and have little sensitivity to other people, feral children.
    Purple – Tribal Level. More about our survival as a tribe. Micro – this is where a toddler starts to identify survival as a family/group. Macro – Focused on a group. It’s important not to be kicked out of the tribe. Spiritual development can be observed (how gods impact us as humans, magical thinking).
    Red – Warlord. 15,000 – 20,000 years ago. When one or two people stand out from the rest of the group, they begin to get a lot of attention and are regarded as leaders, they move up to level 3. Goes back about getting ‘me’ again. This is where the rebellious years come. Example – Teens get into fights for no reason. They assume that they know everything and everybody else is halfwit. People learn how to stand-up for themselves. They don’t really believe that they have any right.
    Blue – Civilization. Started about 5,000 – 8,000 years ago. We learn to identify something bigger than us. When territory boundaries are created. Law and rule are made. If we all live under certain rules, we live in a better society. Civilizations create armies and better force. Because everything is in order, we’re seeing relationships between tribes that create institutions and civilizations. Example – World War II.
    Orange – Achievement. Leaders begin to emerge. Developed 150 – 200 years ago. Leaders see resources as limitless, something they can manipulate and master. This is where you find a lot of capitalism. Example – anybody who’s going through any massive achievement. We learn that there’s no reason to limit our selves. Many people keep themselves from going to this level casting limitations on themselves. Science and technology is very important for individuals who are in this level.
    Green – Ecology. 20-50 years ago. Starts to take in a much bigger territory.These are individuals who have met their goals. Example – Bill Gates. They have a more ecological perspective.They start to think in terms of community and how they can give back to the world. They’re more concerned about the impact on a holistic manner. They learn how to give back. The idea of tolerance is introduced. Individuals in this level find it very challenging to accomplish their mission because they’re busy listening to everyone’s perspectives.
    Yellow – Thought Leader – A person who has realized that not every voices needs to give the exact same honour. They are able to communicate with individuals in different levels in order to get what they want in a faster and more productive way.

Graves Model | PODCAST 0022

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about crafting personal rules for your life that empower you and avoiding the ones that disempower.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Personal Rules are rules that we create ourselves and inform how we believe reality should work.
    Personal Rules are not real rules unless you discover that it does make you feel bad. You will identify whether it’s a personal rule based on its effect.
    There are also personal rules that we are conscious of. You may not be aware of your personal rules until the emotion has brought it up to you.
    All upsets are rules upsets. If we are feeling bad, it’s not because someone made us feel bad but because our personal rules are offended. If we’re aware of the rules inside us, we have the power and capability to change them.
    A rule is what has to happen in order for us to feel good.
    Rules are shortcuts for our brains to give a sense of certainty about consequences for actions to make lightning quick decisions. In order make quick decisions that will lead us to our desirable consequences, we start to create rules that will get us to that feeling.
    When a rule comes in to your life, it’s a way for your make a decision which makes things faster so you can get through life.
    We have more rules that can easily be offended than rules than are open frame. Most of us have a lot of rules that we don’t want. Be aware of your rules. Ask yourself whether it is a bad or an empowering rule.
    Knowing what your rules are and crafting them in a way that makes you feel good, increases our happiness.
    Be clear in communicating what your rules are.
    3 different components to a disempowering rule.

    A disempowering rule is impossible to meet and it’s going to make you feel bad all the time.
    What you can’t control determines whether the rule has been met – Outside circumstance have to fall into place in order your personal rule to be met. You don’t have control whether or not the rule happens.
    It gives only a few ways to feel good and lots of ways to feel bad. Things have to happen in an exact way in order for a rule to be honoured.

    Hierarchy of rules.

    Threshold Rules – Rules that we will never break and define us.
    Personal Standards – Rules that we don’t like to break.

    If your disempowering rules are populating your threshold rules, you feel unhappy because you are unable to meet to meet them.
    Being right may seem like what makes us really happy but real happiness comes from being willing to re-evaluate.
    Feel free to put much time and effort when designing your rules.
    The most empowering rule is to enjoy yourself no matter what happens.
    The person who is adaptable and flexible tend to gain the outcome they desire because they aren’t attached to specifics.
    Let us know what some of your personal rules are and what it takes to have empowering happiness producing rules. Please feel free to leave your comments below.


Empowering Personal Rules | PODCAST 0026

In this episode Joel and Antonia explain the difference between Introverted Intuition and Extraverted Intuition.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Intuition is an effectively advanced pattern recognition. It is a learning style basically speculating the train of thought following what’s behind the curtain.
    Intuitives are not the majority so the world is not designed for them.
    People who have sensory learning styles aren’t comfortable speculating. They want more information to be safe and secure.
    We don’t have enough explanation why some people see the world profoundly
    Everyone uses intuition to some degree.
    Intuition isn’t judgmental. Its nature is really just trying to understand what’s happening behind the curtain.
    Inside us, our intuition is working in conjunction with our mind’s ability to evaluate the information it takes in. All by itself, intuition is totally non-judgemental. It’s simply a process of learning.
    2 types of intuition: Introverted vs Extraverted Intuition
    Introverted Intuitive Style = Perspective. Perspectives have the ability to watch their own minds form a pattern. When they hear people talk or do something, their mind will shift into the other person’s perspective and get a sense of what’s going on.
    Perspective users oftentimes don’t reveal this kind of genius. They almost have the ability to predict future events.
    In perspectives, you are able to see how large groups of people are going to react.
    The process of learning takes some time to develop. Perspectives are very easy to be distracted. It’s almost like a fragile process sometimes. If there’s a lot of sensory input, it’s hard to stay focused because it’s a fragile process.
    When working on problem, they wouldn’t know how they arrived at the solution. If they get distracted, they might never be able to pick up the trail again.
    Out of the 25%, only 10% are using perspectives.
    Perspective people tend to have a lot of one sided relationships and so they have very unique needs.
    Because they don’t have that many people who understand how it works, it’s difficult for them to rise up to become better version of themselves.
    Extraverted Intuition = Exploration. Unlike perspectives who are slow paced, exploration on the other hand, is more about exploring the world and understanding patterns on the outside world. They tend to be very interactive and engaging.
    They’re able to understand the connections and relationships to things that other people don’t. It’s about new connections.
    Intuition is interested in speed of information and depth of insight. Both types of intuition do this but Exploration is more inclined to speed of information and Perspectives likes the depth of insights.
    The world needs both styles of intuition. Without this, we would actually stagnate.
    The more you give yourself permission and make your intuition more powerful and strong, you could be truly unstoppable in making great things.


Introverted Intuition vs Extraverted Intuition | PODCAST 0030

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about developing an intuition action plan.

In this podcast you’ll find:

3 important components that an intuitive can introduce to their life when developing intuition in order to be at their happiest:

    You and your intuition
    Your intuition and other people
    Your intuition and what you do in the world

You and your intuition (Personal level: How it impacts you as a person)

    Become the healthiest version of yourself as you can be.
    Self permission and self acceptance is the baseline.
    After acceptance, learn to navigate through the world and manage that component. Once done in a positive way, it makes an intuitive amazingly healthy.
    There is a need to manage intuitive energy based on your intuitive type. Make sure to do things that feel natural to you.
    For example, avoid small talks if it doesn’t come naturally for you unless the return is high and it is being done for the benefit of others.
    Make sure to do things that exercises your intuitive energy.
    If your job, family or people close to you sap your intuitive energy, do baby steps to redefine your position and slowly take your intuitive needs met.

Your intuition and other people around you

    How do you make your way through the world wherein most people learn information and think differently from you?
    Usually, once Intuitives recognize who they are, they think they are better than most people but that doesn’t increase their personal happiness.
    They need to understand that they have unique abilities that most people don’t but a part of the world needs filling in.
    They should learn to appreciate non-intuitive people (people who have Sensory learning style); what they give to the world. Giving permission to others to be who they are doesn’t mean they will give permission for you to be who you really are.
    Only you can give that permission which is self sovereignty. It is not about fairness but fundamentally on happiness. Don’t emanate resentment if the favor is not returned.
    Learn how to blend and be healthy. This  gives opportunity to express to other people one’s intuitive difference from others.
    Make sure you are having relationships with other Intuitives as well.

Your intuition and what you do in the world

    How to extend the gifts you have as an intuitive?
    Foundational needs should be met first and that includes personal relationships.
    Realization. You might be doing what you were always told that you “should do” than what is really in your heart and mind.R
    Redirection. You reapply all skills you have learned to whatever you love.
    Progression of passion, purpose and mission. Passion is the starting point. Doing the thing you love and maybe using it in earning a living. This graduates to purpose; how to keep doing the thing you love and also impact the world in a positive way? Then it becomes a mission.
    An awareness of a purpose and a strong will to make a movement that could change or lead to more positive things. Play with options and see what happens.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast

    Write down the 5 things that gives you energy as an intuitive. What is it that builds into your intuition?
    Think abbot the ways you can communicate your intuition, ways you can hold space and relate to them on your terms if they don’t think like you do.


Developing An Intuition Action Plan | PODCAST 0033

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about Gary Chapman and his book The 5 Love Languages.

In this podcast on the 5 love languages you’ll find:

    Gary Chapman outlines love in 5 different ways. These love languages are very powerful and we all have different ways of expressing our love to our mate.
    We’re often unaware that we speak in different love languages. When this happens, misunderstanding occurs because you’re going to think that the person is denying or withholding love from you.
    The 5 Different Love Languages
        Words of Affirmation. Expressing love through affirming words like how proud you are of your partner or maybe a nickname that only the two of you use dearly. It could also be the way you speak highly of them in public.
        Quality Time. Spending a lot of quality time. There are people who just want being present by the quality of time they spend with their mate.
        Gift Giving. Expresses love by finding that perfect object that will make the person happy or to receive a gift.
        Acts of Service. Doing the dishes, getting the oil changed in the car. Working hard to provide for the family.
        Physical Touch. Through touching and physicality. Examples include but not limited to snogging, holding hands in public, kissing in public and giving a massage. This is more than just sex. Sex is a fundamental need and is part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.
    When couples have different ways of expressing their love (example – you’re a quality time person and your mate is an “acts of service” person), misunderstanding occurs and sometimes, causing one or both partners to feel “not loved”.
    It’s a matter of finding out what’s your love language and how are you misinterpreting selfishness.
    So how are you going to find out your partner’s primary love language? Test it, try giving them gifts for example and check if it creates a big impact to them.
    Oftentimes, the language you use to give love is not necessarily the language you get from the other person.
    The way that we receive love and the way that we show love might be different. Knowing not just what you and your mate are but what your receiving and giving language is, can be very powerful.
    If somebody is expressing love in a way that’s unfamiliar to us, keep in mind that it’s an attempt for them to show love intimacy.
    The more we can see positive intent from our mate, the more we understand that they want to feel intimacy, being able to understand the love language model helps maintain the intimacy and maintain a healthy relationship.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

Write down the 5 love languages and rate yourself and your mate from 1-5 (1 being the highest). Invite your mate to have their own list and talk deeply about it.

5 Love Languages | PODCAST 0051

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the unique way your personality is “hardwired” for wealth.

How You Are Hardwired For Wealth | PODCAST 0061

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about how to love yourself using the four Greek words for love.

How To Love Yourself | PODCAST 0065

In this episode Joel and Antonia point out the cognitive biases we all tend to use and offer alternatives to them.

Are You Using Cognitive Biases | PODCAST 0066

PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode Joel and Antonia discuss how someone using Introverted Feeling (Authenticity) can better communicate with someone using Introverted Thinking (Accuracy).

PHQ | QUESTIONS: Introverted Feeling vs Introverted Thinking

PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode Joel and Antonia answer a question about INFJ personality relationships and two INFJs in a romantic relationship.

PHQ | QUESTIONS: INFJ Personality Relationships

In this episode Joel and Antonia answer a question about how to determine if your dominant cognitive function is developed.

PHQ | QUESTIONS: Is My Dominant Cognitive Function Developed?

In this episode Joel and Antonia answer a question about music type theory and the idea of having a donation button on the Personality Hacker website.


PHQ | QUESTIONS: Music Type Theory and Donations

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the dangers of Schadenfreude (pleasure derived from another person's misfortune) and apply it to the recent Ashley Madison scandal.


The Dangers of Schadenfreude | PODCAST 0076

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about empowering Intuitives to step into leadership and get Intuition into the public consciousness.

Igniting An Intuitive Awakening | PODCAST 0087

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about five ways to build skill around your intuition which will result in trusting it more.


Trusting Your Intuition | PODCAST 0089

In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the ENFJ personality type.


ENFJ Personality Type Advice | PODCAST 0090

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about strategies to overcome limiting beliefs in your personal growth journey and life.


Overcoming Limiting Beliefs | PODCAST 0104

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about how each of the Myers Briggs types say "I love you."


How Types Say “I Love You” | PODCAST 0106

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about why we need Introverted Thinking in our modern world of misinformation and confusing logic.

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Why We Need Introverted Thinking In Today’s World | PODCAST 0148

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the Myers-Briggs cognitive functions and how they play a role in romantic relationships.

Myers-Briggs Cognitive Functions In Relationships | PODCAST 0160

"DoctorJuice"

"Introverted Thinking vs Extraverted Thinking (Ti vs Te)"

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the difference between the thinking cognitive functions Introverted Thinking vs Extraverted Thinking.

Personality Hacker Podcast

Introverted Thinking vs Extraverted Thinking | PODCAST 0201

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about why now more than ever we need introverted thinking in our world.

Why The World Needs Introverted Thinking — Revisited | PODCAST 0270

Personality Hacker teaches you the coding language of your mind and how to use it to create great relationships - a fulfilling career and happiness.

