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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about how to use the feedback from others for personal development.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Feedback is the willingness to accept information that the world gives us in order to respond and get the best results possible.
    Our resistance to receiving feedback we don’t like is often our ego being triggered.
    We see ourselves as better than we really are, and that’s a good thing. Confidence makes up for a multitude of sins.
    We rely on confidence so much that when the world gives us feedback to shake it, our ego can become distressed that we no longer have confidence to fall back upon.
    When we ignore feedback, we don’t give ourselves an opportunity to improve.
    When people are convinced they’re right, they especially ignore feedback.
    Listening to feedback doesn’t mean that you only listen to sources you deem credible or that you agree with.
    Giving feedback too much credence can also be dangerous. Individuals can be reflecting their subjective perspective, not necessarily ‘reality’.
    Feedback comes from both the ‘inner world’ and the ‘outer world’.  We need a healthy balance of both.
    Introverts have a tendency to tune out feedback that doesn’t resonant with their inner world. This is great for dealing with nay-sayers, but not for changing course when needed.
    Extraverts, on the other hand, are more sensitive to outer world feedback but not to their internal feedback.
    “The best feedback is something that threatens a dearly held belief.”
    When our beliefs are challenged, we start to act like addicts for the belief(s).
    All growth happens in discomfort, so we have to be willing to accept uncomfortable feedback.
    Cognitive dissonance is when we experience stress because we are holding two opposing beliefs. We can avoid feedback because we don’t want to experience cognitive dissonance, but we need to be okay with feedback that may threaten a precious belief and remember “the way out is through.” There’s a part of you listening, anyway.
    Feedback will always challenge what you think, feel and where you stand.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

Make a list of between one and three pieces of feedback that make you feel the most uncomfortable (angry, frustrated, ashamed, sad, or makes you squirm). It will feel horrible, but your biggest growth is tied to that feedback. Even if you end up not agreeing with the feedback, exploring it is high leverage for self-understanding.

Feedback That Makes You Squirm | PODCAST 0010

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about making scary changes in your life when you are ready to “scale up” in personal development.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Talking about ‘scale up’ moments, which are scary even if we know it would be good for us.
    The character Neo in the move “The Matrix” is a great example of letting go of others expectations and scaling up by resting into his own sense of integrity.
    We face moments when we realize ‘what got us here won’t get us there’.
    Transitions aren’t just scary, they’re also painful.
    Based on ancient programming, a part of us fears that if we fail after the transition we’ll literally die.
    The scariest part isn’t the transition; it’s the initial decision of making big change.
    The transition is usually more frustration and painful. You have to pick up new skills and one learns things about themselves that may not be flattering.
    When we finish the process, we almost always look back and say “That wasn’t so bad.”
    A helpful model is the HAT model – Healing, Achievement and Transcendence.
    When we’re scaling up, we’re putting more pressure through the ‘pipe’ and more cracks are exposed. We mistake this new self-understanding with a belief that we’re broken and not ready for the next level.
    Going through the transition is what exposed the cracks in the first place, so it’s all a healthy part of the process.
    Once you get to the next ‘vine’ you feel so accomplished.
    It’s easy to blame outside circumstances to mask the fear of scaling up, or to believe that no one will help you during the process.
    Alternatively, it’s healthier to see oneself as responsible for transitions and also find mentors and coaches to help during the process.
    It takes balls and determination and persistence to make big changes in life.
    Some have the problem of being in transition too much and have trouble sticking with just one thing, which can be its own challenge.
    Having the strength often comes by doing the thing you’re madly in love with doing.
    It’s important to really know what you want, and avoid ‘counterfeit’ desires.
    Some people end up in ‘satellite’ careers – something close to their heart’s desire, but one step removed.
    Surrounding yourself with people who are already where you want to go helps you get to your end game faster, and proves it can be done with ‘dying’.
    It’s also important not to mistake lateral change with vertical growth.
    Being able to make big transitions is the first step toward playing a Bigger Game.
    Familiarity can keep one in bad, sometimes dangerous, situations.
    All growth happens out of our comfort zone, so comfort isn’t always our friend.


Making Scary Changes In Your Life | PODCAST 0013

In this episode Joel & Antonia invite their friend Chelsea to join the podcast to talk about the mind body connection.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Guest Chelsea O’Brien uses the mind/body connection to understand eating disorders.
    We have a tendency to see the body and mind as totally separate, i.e. the body is a vehicle for the mind or that they have totally different desires and needs.
    When you see them in relationship, the question becomes – what thoughts are driving the body’s behaviors.
    Is the brain always in control?
    The mind and body come together when the body experiences feelings.
    There are neurons in the stomach, meaning the body and mind have a much closer connection than we previous thought.
    We can make connections between emotions and behaviors that program our brain to react to triggers in predictable ways.
    “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”
    Social expectations and pressure can cause us to feel shame around these issues that keep our minds more detached from our bodies and exacerbate the issue.
    We can go on autopilot in our behaviors, so programming our mind (“GPS unit”) is important when dealing with addictions and disorders.
    An understanding of the ‘Triune Brain Theory’ is helpful. The lizard brain, the mammalian brain and the neo-cortex.
    We’re dealing with ‘ancient programming’.
    Our lizard brain has a want. If we ignore it, it will only get more insistent.
    The mammalian brain alternates between positive feelings of getting the need met, but shame when registering overconsumption.
    Our neo-cortex thinks it’s in control, but it isn’t when the lizard brain has a need.
    Being in touch with the body and fully experiencing sensations and feelings helps slow down reaction time and making more thoughtful decisions.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

    Notice/be aware when you have an urge to overindulge.
    Allow the urge to be there without reacting.
    Feel the urge completely until it plays out.
    Choose how to respond thoughtfully.


The Mind Body Connection | PODCAST 0014

In this episode Joel & Antonia answer a question from a listener about finding your passion.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Many people say that if you’re living your passion “you never work a day in your life.”
    We haven’t always had the luxury of asking what our passion is and finding a career which represents it. Technology has democratized the question and the answer.
    What is passion? Is it an emotion?
    What is worth it to me so that when I have sticking point and have to do things I don’t want to have to do it’s still important for me to pursue. The outcome of letting the dream die is unconscionable.
    There’s a big connection between one’s passion and the impact you want to create.
    Those who want to pursue creative careers tend to find their passion earlier in life and follow it young.
    Model: Passion, Purpose and Mission.
    Passion is anything that lights a fire under you. It keeps you focused on an end game. It’s unthinkable to stop.
    Purpose is helping define ‘why am I here’? Our minds wander to ‘how do I leave the camp better than when I got here’? It’s a focus on contribution.
    Mission is being a light-bearer, and people are following you as a leader.
    Super successful people aren’t just focused on their own personal success, but on the industry they’re in as a whole. “The rising tide raises all ships.”
    Model: Power, Achievement and Affiliation.
    These are motivators for knowing what means something to you. Power may be motivated by gaining greater responsibility over others, affiliation may be motivated by recognition and achievement is motivated by having accomplished something.
    What is your end game, is it wrapped up in power, achievement or affiliation?
    Sometimes it’s not a matter of finding your passion, it’s a matter of having permission to know your passion. Suddenly you’re responsible to your passion, and some may not feel ready for it or have permission to pursue it.
    Being fully authentic as a person is a vital component to following your passion.
    A better question than “what do you want to be when you grow up?” is “WHO do you want to be when you grow up?”

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

1. What subject do you love so much that if you were in a restaurant and people at the next table over were talking about this subject you would interrupt their conversation in order to talk about it with them?

2. What problem or challenge have you solved that you will interrupt people in a restaurant to share the solution with them?

3. If you had a microphone in front of you and for 10 minutes the entire planet had to stop and listen to everything you said, what would you talk about?

Finding Your Passion | PODCAST 0015

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about what it means to have transparent honesty in relationships and business.

http://PersonalityHacker.com

In this podcast you’ll find:

    Jack Welch hires based on integrity, which defines as ‘honesty’.
    Is transparency the same as honesty?
    Honesty is telling the truth, transparency is how much information you choose to disclose.
    Being honest depends upon a person knowing which question to ask, transparency is volunteered information.
    Is being fully transparent in all areas desirable? Is it an ethic?
    People like Julian Assange and Edward Snowden have altered how we see transparency and information.
    Some information shouldn’t be shared with all people, since not everyone is responsible with information.
    The gauge for what should be shared is whether or not sharing it increases the quality of life for the highest amount of people. It’s a cost/benefit analysis.
    Transparency isn’t necessary a good thing. It can be neutral, or even bad.
    It’s most helpful to see it as a tool.
    Transparency is also about timing. Devolving too much information too soon can be ineffectual.
    Sometimes people have a right to know information, meaning transparency shouldn’t be a question in those circumstances.
    It takes balls to be transparent.
    Being modest about how much transparency you’re comfortable with is important. It’s a muscle that can be built, and something that can be scaled up.
    Sometimes when we’re being ‘transparent’ we’re performing for others, and so we’re not being truly authentic and therefore not transparent.
    The more transparent we are, the less judgmental we are of others, since we’re forced to see our own inner lies.
    You can be transparent, radically honest and still kind.
    The more honest we are, the more we can identify our ‘You Are Here’ dot, or our accurate starting point.
    Putting your ‘best foot forward’ doesn’t mean you’re offending ethics. Transparency isn’t always the ethically superior choice.
    A part of transparency means owning your actions, acknowledging them from the past and owning behaviors in the now.
    Not everyone is going to be okay with radical honesty. It can feel icky at first.
    Transparency is one of the best ways to increase intimacy.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

For the next week, when someone asks you “how are you doing today?” be honest about how you’re doing.  

Practice being transparent about your emotions in your most intimate relationships.

Transparent Honesty in Relationships & Business | PODCAST 0016

Best Motivational Speech Compilation Ever #2 - 30 - Minute Motivation #2

"You will never touch a level of greatness until your comfort zone is disturbed." - Ray Lewis

If you enjoyed this podcast, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/415

The School of Greatness: Exploring Greatness from Inspiring Business Minds, World Class Athletes and Influential Celebrities

On iTunes

EP 415 Ray Lewis on Success and The Mindset of True Greatness

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk the difference between the feeling cognitive functions Extraverted Feeling vs Introverted Feeling.

Personality Hacker Podcast

Extraverted Feeling vs Introverted Feeling | PODCAST 0202

In this episode, Joel and Antonia give a live talk from the main stage at Profiler Training in Washington DC about how to find your message in the messes of your life.

Your Mess Is Your Message | PODCAST 0277

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about your personal inner work to understand the value you bring to online content creation.

How To Be An Influencer Part 1 - You & Learning | PODCAST 0292

In this episode, Joel and Antonia continue their 3-part series on how to be an influencer and detail how to create high-value content for your audience.

How To Be An Influencer Part 2 - Content and Creation | PODCAST 0293

In this episode, Joel and Antonia complete their 3-part series on how to be an influencer and detail how to choose the right publishing platform and connect with your audience.

How To Be An Influencer Part 3 - Audience and Distribution | PODCAST 0294

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the Myers-Briggs cognitive functions and their relationship to time.

Cognitive Functions And Time | PODCAST 0297

In this episode, Joel and Antonia draw out personal lessons they learned by putting together the INFx Empowered program for INFPs and INFJs.

Personal Lessons From INFP and INFJ Interviews | PODCAST 0303

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the binary nature of your inferior (3-year-old) cognitive function.

The Binary Nature Of The 3-Yr-Old Inferior Cognitive Function | PODCAST 0330

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the philosophical aspects of starting a business and the mindset around value creation.

Starting Your Own Business For Personal Growth Part 1 | PODCAST 0332

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the product vs service business models, the difference between B2B and B2C businesses, and lifetime customer value.

Starting Your Own Business For Personal Growth Part 2 | PODCAST 0333

Personality Hacker teaches you the coding language of your mind and how to use it to create great relationships - a fulfilling career and happiness.

