I literally
hate
my
guts...
sometimes!

I have
never
really
bothered
to care
about whether
or not
anybody else
likes me;
but,
it does
disturb me
deeply
that my own body
seems to be
perturbed
by me.

Crohn's disease
tends
to have
a dis-easing effect
on people
like that!

Because
my digestive track
is eroding,
the loathsome pain
is so overloading,
that it feels like
my internal organs
are exploding.  

What did I do
to deserve
to hurt
like this?

*Pain
must be
immune
to death,
because
I pop pain killers
like candy;
but
I usually
just fall asleep
in agony
well before the pain
decides
to die.

Which
it never
does!

It just
lays low
and stalks
the glimmer of hope
that arises
within me
when I assume
that the anguish
has subsided
long enough
for me
to have a "good day". 
And then
pain pounces
upon my hope
like night
upon twilight;
inevitably
and
completely
devouring
what little bit of glimmer
that I
have left!

I am
always fatigued,
but
I can never
peacefully slumber,
because of
the despicable
despair
that I am
constantly
under.

*If sleep is a temporary oasis,
then
the eternal slumber
must be paradise,
compared to
the incessant torment
that I endure
when I am awake.

I find it ironic
that "Life aint fair",
yet
it is death
that does not
discriminate.

Along the way
of praying
for a cure,
I hope
for remission:  
which is nothing more
than a furlough
or
a brief reprieve
from the agony...
like a little kibble 
of freedom, 
leaving me
fiening
for the liberation
of a cure.

Is it too much to ask
for my immune system
not to be immune
to me?!

The conundrum
of this
tumultuous existence,
is that
I do not know
if it is a compliment
or condescension;
when someone says,
"but you don't look sick".

Thank you...
I think.
 
Oh the grotesqueness 
I would reveal
if I actually looked
the way
that I feel.

How is one
to personify
being constantly nauseated
and losing weight;
and bleeding from the rectum;
while your wrists and knees ache?

How is one supposed to look,
whose diarrhea
is so dire
that I recuse myself
to the restroom so much,
that the brown recluse
in the corner
under the commode
seems to
pity me
too much
to bite me?
Or perhaps
it realizes
that I am
too big to consume;
or maybe
it assumes
that I am already
doomed;
but
it is highly
unlikely
that it
actually
likes me.

How could it...
when my own body
does not seem to?
:-/

thank you for this its nice to know someone understands my pain

You're welcome Sweet Spirit...I hope that all is well with you...

Phetote's verses on various collaborations...
Produced by D-time
(all rights reserved)

Phetote - She Dances (Dolapo Inc Remix) 4 - 20 - 20

Cleared Vision

Mask (poetry intro)

Drives Me Wild (feature)

My poetic description of the turmoil that millions of people worldwide go through when suffering through flare-ups from crohn's disease, colitis, and other ibd's.  It is much more than just a "tummy ache"!

*For serious booking inquiries, contact:  phetote1@yahoo.com

I Hate My Guts/crohn's disease (Spoken Word Poem by Phetote Mshairi)

Rhythm and Poetry

Written and performed by Phetote Mshairi
Produced by Dtime
Vocals by Dtime

Gold Digger _ Rhythm and Poetry

How Do I Continue...

Patience lyrics

We are free to be phenomenal! Juneteenth poem by Phetote Mshairi

Music composed and arranged by Paul Humphrey

We are Free Now by Phetote | HAPPY JUNETEENTH!

If I fall on my knees and pray, will that change anything?

"If I Fall" Spiritual Poetry and Rap by the Blessed and Bold

GOD answers prayers...
and sometimes the answer is you.

Music for the Kingdom

Sinners Prayer

Phetote (Fee toe tee) Mshairi (Em shah ee ree)is a renowned Spoken-word Artist; Poet; Author; Performing Artist; Poetry Slam Champion (in several nationwide competitions); a Song and Jingle Writer; a Playwright; Teaching Artist; Actor; Curator; Host; Mentor; Philanthropist; Substitute Teacher; and Moderator from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Phetote has been writing every since he was a young man-child wielding a pen as a Word-smith's apprentice.  He has a B.B.A. from Langston University, with a major in Business Management.  Phetote is on the Spoken-word/Poetry Committee at Living Arts of Tulsa and he is an active member and mentor with 100 Black Men of Tulsa.  He appreciates the power of words and he lives poetically. 

Phetote Mshairi wrote and performs an avant-garde play called, "Letters to Her, from Phetote", with an original soundtrack bearing the same name.  He is the author of a Poetry book written in over 20 different poetry styles titled:  "An Old Fart, and A Thousand Sentiments".  As a member of the Spoken-word/Poetry Committee at Living Arts of Tulsa, Phetote curates, presents, hosts, and/or performs in successful Performing Arts events, ("Examining Change", "Poets vs. Rappers II and III", "If They Should Come in the Morning", just to name a few that he has curated).  Phetote is a songwriter and performer of music from various genres, with two music CDs in the works.  He is also a featured artist on over thirty Hip-hop, Gospel, and R&B songs.

Phetote Mshairi wrote the spoken-word narration for the award winning short film, "Out from Smoke and Ash" directed by Lisandro Boccacci.  He also wrote and performed an original poem for the unveiling of the Smithsonian Museum of African-American History and Culture, U.S. postage stamp in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Phetote played the character, Red Carter at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center, in the renowned play presented by Theatre North, "Seven Guitars" by the two time Pulitzer prize winning playwright, August Wilson.  He also acted/read in the stage plays, "Pablo Neruda" by William Bill Matthews and "The Bad Seed" by Maxwell Anderson.

Phetote has performed in over 500 events and he is often commissioned to create original pieces that he features for Community Causes; Social Justice; Education Encouragement; and Domestic Violence Awareness events (to name a few).  Mr. Mshairi writes poems and monologues for special occasions that specifically cater to the guests of honor and their guests at weddings; receptions; award presentations; Church events; birthday and anniversary parties; business grand openings; funerals; and other occasions and causes of many sorts.  He has also written promotional advertisements for a Dallas Cowboys web show; the NFL Playoffs; the NBA Finals; 105.3 FM; and the Old School Sunday Night Live radio show in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

One of Phetote's main objectives is to be the antithesis to the wickedness that is corrupting modern music, media, and Mankind.  He also carries on the tradition of the ancient Griots by passing along jewels of wisdom and chronicling history as it happens.  Phetote's goal is to express truth poetically and to bring the Spoken-word art form back to the "mainstream"!  

LET'S MAKE SOMETHING SPECTACULAR HAPPEN!

I Hate My Guts/crohn's disease (Spoken Word Poem by Phetote Mshairi)

Phetote the Poet

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