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w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

original song is by SALES
i just wanted to try a remix of it. hope yall like it <3

Lyrics

Verse 1
Know you spent your whole life
Trynna get here its a big year
I aint tryta interfere 
Girl you need encouragement

U know id be living out there too
 if I could go
Im still trynna get a day job
Ill be good though

U aint gotta sweat it
Keep editing your papers
I’ll still be your love struck boy
Four years later

Checking in when I can
Visiting your moms house
Look inside your room 
Even though I know your gone now

Verse 2
Updates please update me
I still wanna be there when the 
boat starts sailing
Send me all those pictures and paragraphs too
And text book selfies inside the classroom

I aint swimming but im holding my breath
Im not feeling too bad 
But I aint feeling the best

I get worried knowing that u the 
prettiest on the campus
If u wanna break all I can do is let it happen

Happen ya its happening
U really gone
Now I miss my little rockstar

Chorus
I miss your love on midsummer nights
Still dream that color only found in your eyes
Dont let me go dont let me drown
I need your touch I need it now

small town to university (Pope Is A Rockstar)

feel like a joke x_x

lyrics:


Gimme the quick revive cause my hearts done
When love is the focal point u bun the outcome
Im surprised to see at this function
Cause last time we were close u left my soul numb

To be honest
She lied for five months for the profit
I was lost for a while but now im on it
How are u I only ask to be the bigger man
What is life if we only live to live again
In ur head im sure ur only seeing static
How u treated me was lessons bout neglecting
So my partner knows I dont need to be managed
How u treated me left wounds more than a bandage could solve

I heal these wounds with plenty of alcohol
And now im sure I wouldn’t miss u at all on me
Until I think about the nights u were all on me
Oh my god
Alone at 3am in my bed I just miss you
The ghost of u can hit hard
If it weren’t for these drugs Id be gone
I hate that This drink give me courage to push on

Red leaves Fall fast
Us two Won’t last
Friction and Kickback
Good things Will Turn bad
No one had checked on me at my lowest point
So I developed on my own that’s why im to the point yea
Bedbug bites were on my thighs and back oh its bad
Plus people tried to put a price right on top my head

To be honest
She lied for five months for the profit
I was lost for a while but now im on it
How are u I only ask to be the bigger man
What is life if we only live to live again
In ur head im sure ur only seeing static
How u treated me was lessons bout neglecting
So my partner knows I dont need to be managed
How u treated me left wounds more than a bandage could solve

tbh (eric godlow)

lyrics
I've been thinking about you with a blunt rolled
none of these drugs can take away my sorrow
I don't know if I'm gon be here tomorrow
so fill my lungs with smoke until my thoughts go
theres no denying that you something special
but you aint give a fuck about my mental
now I'm driving hoes through residentials
sipping purple sprite in foreign rentals

bitch dont match my energy
she bumping all my melodies
im 17 with felonies
these drugs gon take my memory
they want something that I'll never be
wish she love me like ecstasy
used to look at me so breathlessly 
but her mind full of jealousy

all these fucking drugs that I abuse
cause I don't got nothing better to do
hope you know that I'm in love with you
I'm just scared these drugs will get you too

sendflowrs
I've been thinking about you with a cup poured
if this shit gon kill me why it feel so good for
these feelings must be what they make the mud for
ion know I promise I'm ok girl why'd you run for?
if you really being honest why you hide it?
n they say it gets better, I don't mind it
2019 I lost my heart cant find it
ion know if I'll love again I guess I'll find out soon

residential
I've been thinking about you with a blunt rolled
none of these drugs can take away my sorrow
I don't know if I'm gonna be here tomorrow
so fill my lungs with smoke until my thoughts go
theres no denying that you something special
but you aint give a fuck about my mental
now I'm driving hoes through residentials
sipping purple sprite in foreign rentals

2019 w sendflowrs (nevrfall x branwen)

songs from the year that i like but nvr dropped
punching bag album dec 28
thank u for this year beyond grateful & excited for whats to come
love, jai<3

CRASH DUMMY

produced by chalyre <3 

lyrics:
you make me
incomplete
no escaping
your cold reach

now my throat is sore
from saying your name
i'm not going to go
until you repay
the debt that you owe
its always the same 
for love

let go
of your hold

you say you love me
i would just die
i'll never be worthy
of your divine

you're killing me slowly
but i'll be fine

it's not like i'm better
from seeing the light

careworn

acoustic album this weekend on @plslovejai


ima bird in the sky heading straight to the ground
like i clipped my wing
shes an angel in disguise i dont pay her no mind
cuz they always win
no i dont got a shot fucking with somebody like you
no i dont got a lot but she saying that im type cute
well babygirl im far from it
everytime i get a itch im road running
off to the races and its on to the next one
i cant give you mt heart
and ill take all the blame i dont want no damn apology
it was my fault

and she took a part of me that i wont get back anytime soon 
and i took a piece from her now she only gets drunk alone in her room
its like we're falling straight out of orbit
you stopped calling cause i always ignore it /:
and yea i miss you more than ever but right now its not that important </3

i think about you and the kid we almost had baby
like if we kept where the fuck would we be at baby
i left you all alone to go and get rid of it
honestly my stomach was turning and i was sick of it
looking back now i feel so hideous
i didnt even tell my dad hed be furious 
im sorry from the bottom of my heart 
i couldnt be the one you wanted or let alone needed
baby i been crying to the lord oh i been pleading
begging for forgiveness but i cant give him a reason
and bae you got my heart forever 
i just hope you know i mean it

and she took a part of me that i wont get back anytime soon 
and i took a piece from her now she only gets drunk alone in her room
its like we're falling straight out of orbit
you stopped calling cause i always ignore it /:
and yea i miss you more than ever but right now its not that important </3

shudda cudda wudda //;

cover of the song "lady may" by tyler childers
re-produced by logan

lyrics:
i'm a stones throw from the mill
and i'm a good walk to the river
when my working day is over 
we'll go swim our cares away
put your toes down in the water
and a smile across your face
and tell me that you love me
lovely lady may
now i ain't the sharpest chisel
that your hands have ever held
well darling i could love you well
til the roll is called on high
i've seen my share of trouble
and i've held my weight in shame
but i'm baptized in your name
lovely lady may

lord the wind can leave you shivering
as it waltzes o'er the leaves
it's been rushin through my timber
til your love brought on the spring
now the mountains all are blushin
and they don't know what to say
except a good long line of praises
for my lovely lady may
now i ain't toughest hickory
that your ax has ever felt
but i'm a hickory just as well
i'm a hickory all the same
i came crashin through the forest
as you cut my roots away
and i felt a good long way
for my lovely lady may

lady may cover (tyler childers)

resize frame - track 1

crowd vox ft. birdbay, sagebrsh, flesh golem, evan carr, matt kelly, & homesick

lyrics:
if what i said was a lie
could it amount to a half of it all?
it was never your mind
that was at fault for all the cracks in the wall
and as its starting to dry
the paint is peeling and i’m sick of it all
i’ll never get that goodbye
don’t color me blind
i struggle finding reasons why i’m taking the fall

i never lost my composure
feel like i’m the only one thats getting older
well if the silence passed,
then i may get mine back
run my mouth like a motor
never filter, only book it in a folder
if you could have my back
i prolly wouldn’t run so fast

four years gone, what can i say?
my life’s all broken and frayed
to find love i had to put on a face
now i regret it as im walking in place
eyes up, are you lacking in shame?
i knew once that i was finding my space
two ones like the eyes of a snake
i knew once that you loved me the same

if what i said was a lie
could it amount to a half of it all?
it was never your mind
that was at fault for all the cracks in the wall
and as its starting to dry
the paint is peeling and i’m sick of it all
i’ll never get that goodbye
don’t color me blind
i struggle finding reasons why i’m taking the fall

break it all down
i wanna know what you stand for

all the pain grows between the lines

i had to find out
why you lead with that candor

sever those binds to hang me dry

<resize frame>

crack in the wall [flesh]

spotify & apple !

break down into dust (eric godlow)

read the room 0.0

lyrics ⬇️ 

every thing you told me was a lie
you can’t even look me in my eyes no more
once everything I wanted but now I been floor
i been dying from the torch 
i been flying thru the door

miss what we had
everything was perfect 
every night we would laugh
I don’t wanna burn it
cuz I’m honestly attached
god gave me a purpose
and you stabbed me in the back
why’d you do that

brand new mission oh I can't wait to get loaded in
ten more minutes til I'm out there counting dividends
yea
watch me mix it in tell me that there's more to this
before I forfeit, I don't need no more of this
I went to Florida with my family then I told them that
I don't feel much more like family when you give me crap
let me sit up by myself when I'm feeling sad
promise that ill come back i don't mean to make you mad

but never once did you ask me if I’m fine
i been smokin blunts so that I could ease My mind
every night it’s the same
I cant ever go to sleep
all the time try to change
but I never wanna leave

(casperrr)
going dummy at the function  
just so i can fuck shit
nah i can't fuckin function 
with the way u changed so quick
really thought you loved me
but i guess i was mistaken 
they way u kept pushing me back
hiding mthe fact u were taken

used to look up at people
and now most are at my level
all i have left is a house 
that's filled with air and our shadows
you left a hole inside my heart
turned from special to mental
like chaging howl for hollow 
i know it was not accidental

at this point i don't know what family is?
people stop caring about u when u stop being a kid 
i've been alone ever since i was 14 
left to deal with a bunch a shit, i don't know what i did
idk how i made it out
idk what it is
maybe i had more to do
maybe i was born for this
i just hope so cuz otherwise imma quit
life in general cause without music life is boring as shit

forfeit w/ casperrr (tiedforsilver)

should have 
should have been my body
should have 
should have been my body

ill never get another chance now
and i dont want it, i just want you back now
i cannot deal with all these faces looking at me
i really think it should have been my body

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

i really thought i tried my best
im putting all my scent across your messsages
just to ruin it again
youre my love and all my medicine

whats stopping me
nobody can stop me now
what is happening 
words barely leaving my mouth
but im lost again
gaps of air barely creep out
im asleep again
i dont mean to let you down

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

should have
should have been my body...

body

lost the save so the mix is a$$ but this is my favorite song so im still dropping it (feat. Jomie)

prod. @l1lbiscuit x @gualabeatz

lyrics
--------
hey you
why you mad at me?
i've been falin' backwards runnin' barefoot through the leaves
i could bite my tongue until i really gotta leave
if the issue isn't settled why you settlin' for me?
hey you
whatchu wanna be?
i remember back when i was sleeping with no sheets
back when we were struggling off 89 a week
when the habits i possessed was partially possessing me
when the root of all my problems disappeared inside the green
and i was acting like i gave a fuck but no one fucked with me
when the busses to the 6 were all i had just to be free
i got a passport for that bitch but but now i travel overseas

yeah it's been a couple years but honestly it's all i see
when i close my eyes & reminisce this shit is just a dream
guess i really overcame a lot & now i've come to see
all the work i've put into it paying off by 23
thought i'd never live to tell but now i'm tellin how it be
when you overcome the obstacles & turn into a g
you could a. run for cover are you ready for the heat?
self destruct until i feel like anyone but me
you could be anything that you desire whatchu seek?
i've been plotting on this shit for years since i was seventeen
never felt like i could do it the depression come in sweeps
i put my headphones on & spit some shit until i fall asleep

back in 2017 i plotted out my death 
tied a noose inside my closet drew a target on my chest
if you think this shits a gimmick you can put it to the test
check my browser history for all the answers be my guest
googled "how to kill myself" but every option involved pain
every forum full of isolated kids that feel the same
saying they would end their lives in hopes of ridding all the shame
it's much easier to talk about when no one knows your name 
it's hilarious how motherfuckers profit off an act
you ain't ever put the blade against your skin and that's a fact
you're bewildered by the concept of a struggle so you cap
yeah my eyes are fixed upon you & i'm ready to attack
guess this is a wrap
fuck you & your homies all the shit you do is whack
this ain't no specific diss it's simply a smack
in the face of all these influencers actin like they sad

lost the save so the mix is a$$ but this is my favorite song so im still dropping it (feat. Jomie)

love jai