I can't podcast 'cause I hurt my arm
I can't get a fish I don't have a barn
I can't drive my truck 'cause my bike has a flat
I can't pet your turtle I'm allergic to cats
I can't go skiing I forgot my snorkel
I can't go pee must've broke my corn hole
I can't tie my shoes 'cause my forehead's sweaty
I can't make a sandwich 'cause I'm outta spaghetti

I'm the Mexican Samuel Jackson - Glass
Bones shatter I'll get fatter stuck here sitting on my ass
Sean can be my Bruce Willis wanna know my true feelings?
I'm committing more self-harm than depressed women
But I don't use a razor to slice my thighs
My weapon of choice? Light exercise
It's a cry for help 'cause I find myself
More and more every week wanting to fire myself
Out of a cannon and into the sun as my patrons' funds 
Take a permanent vacation inflation sucks!
It affects my bottom line which affects how many lines
I can buy and I find it's nice to find the time
To just unwind and by "just unwind" I mean just unwind
All meat inside my arm it's all up fucked like Chris the Kiwi
So now I need a week to lie in bed and touch my weenie

I walked my dog and I broke my foot
I sat in a chair and I broke my tush
I held a sign and I broke my head
Falling apart like a zombie from The Walking Dead
I got a boner and I broke my dick
I swatted a fly and I broke my wrist
I put on shoes and I broke my toes
Then I got 3rd degree burns 'cause I made some toast

Everybody's body's different mine is like a Christmas cracker
Designed to snap and then after you find out the junk inside barely works
Every day I get out of bed and everything really hurts 
Just listen to these voicemails! They're giving me a hard time
Why guys? Not nice :( don't you realize my
Arm bone's connected to my being in the zone bone
Oh no arm broke guess I'll be a no show
No show this week I feel too weak also woozy too much boozing
Bowling's hard don't body shame me fellas and I can't even sun tan man I forgot my umbrella

And now Jim says that I'm fakin' and that Ethan's made of bacon 
And his skin is thin and frying eating pills while also crying
But I promise I'm not lying it's just every day I'm trying
To speed up the process of accidentally dying

Bowling + crosswords shit got crazy
Forgot to let the ball go whoopsie daisy 
Now my arm lumps aren't where they're supposed to be
"Bring that first aid kit and keep it close to me!"
I brushed my teeth and I broke my face
Kicked a ball broke my leg
It hurts and I am NOT OKAY
This Sunday I'll fall down the stairs to my basement 
I've been saving up my Bitcoin for the hip replacement

See you next Tuesday until then you can find me
Double-fisting beer and jerking off at the same time we
Need to be kind to our bodies they're temples
Hey honey could you pick me up a wheelchair rental?
I fell down broke my spine just putting my pants on
I can't move been lying here through this entire damn song
Podcast benefits can't be beaten
I take one sick day get a two week weekend

I can't buy groceries I don't have fleas
I can't take a shower I don't have geese
I hurt all night and I hurt all day
My bones consist of paper mache

I can't bake a pie I'm not Darth Vader
I can't go swimming without my cheese grater
No I can't take the trash out I have a drippy faucet
And I can't believe you can't believe this Masterson logic

I zipped my fly and my balls got caught
I put on gloves and my skin peeled off
I choked to death on a single pea
I broke my teeth on very soft cheese

I tapped my foot and I broke my heel
I dropped rat poison in my meal
I waved hello and blew out my elbow
What can I say? I'm a fragile fellow

I wrote a note and I gouged my eyes
How the hell am I alive?
I pet my dog and I broke my scrotum
Stabbed myself playing Texas Hold 'Em

I shook your hand and I broke my hand
It hurts so much I can't even stand
I'm just a man who keeps getting injuries
Biggest klutz in Mexican history

(instrumental stolen from Matronix -Got To Have Your Love)

No Show

I can't be the only one that thinks "Vertigo" and "Orbital Rock" go well together isn't it? Well, here's something quick and dirty again, just for fun - free to download! Hope you enjoy! 

alsoRidgeRacerRemixalbumcomingrealsoon 

🏎️LINKS🏎️
facebook.com/robktamusic
sptfy.com/robkta
robkta.bandcamp.com 
twitter.com/RoB_KTA
instagram.com/robktastagram

Or Support me here!
patreon.com/robkta
ko-fi.com/robkta

Orbital Vertigo (Ridge Racer 7 x U2 Mashup)

Rivers of gold flow through the landscape of memory, carrying the glow of dawn to the silent embers that linger in the ashes. Each clue unfolds like a reflection in water, veiled by light, rising toward horizons that bloom with a silent fire. Echoes shimmer in the sky, weightless yet eternal, until they coalesce into sparks that illuminate what was once forgotten. The journey culminates in the song of the lightweaver, where brilliance and memory dissolve into a single stream of golden time.

Breath of Radiance

Runner's High

Metal Gear Sold V: The Phantom Pain - Nuclear (Unused Game Version)

https://soundcloud.com/mr-kyurem/air-capsule-2-the-airening LISTEN TO THIS VERSION PLEASE

The quick cover I made for the Air Capsule fight in Make a Good Mega Man Level 1 and Make A Good Mega Man Level 1 Remastered. Uploaded due to popular demand.

please listen to my other stuff, it's actually not unbearably bad like this

Air Capsule Ga Taosenai

Hey everyone! It's been a long time, hasn't it?

So, I still use soundcloud from time to time and it ALWAYS annoys me when I find a song I like but for some reason, no-one has extended it...

So now i'm going to take a new direction, any song I find or my followers find (thank you for following me btw, love you all! (^_^)/
I will post them on my profile, EXTENDED.

Any requests I can take here either in the comments, or DM (or on twitter where I reside) and I will do my best to put them up.

Hope you're all doing well and happy halloween!

Press Garden Zone Act 2 (Blossom Haze) - Sonic Mania - Extended

Remix for the video game "YIIK: A Postmodern RPG"

check here for more info
https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/yiik-a-postmodern-rpg-switch

YIIK: The Mind Dungeon Theme (Baiyon Remix)

jellyfish fields type beat

I tied with T.Q.JAM, I think, on first place.

[FCM9 #1] Pink Streets (N163)

Marina Madness (Mania Mix) - SiIvaGunner King For Another Day

this page started as a place for me to shitpost, and now that i've got followers, i'm in too deep to quit


profile pic art by: https://twitter.com/yukisora304
banner illustration by: https://twitter.com/MistleToesArt

jellyfish fields type beat

pluffaduff