TheToppo as Spirit
Corncob as John 

Written by Teimunity

Illustrations by Nooby 
Thumbnail by ClarencetheDuck

Produced by Teimunity 
Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Special Thanks to: SPM, Buckethead, RaisuBattle

John (Minecraft) vs. Spirit (Roblox) • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

Watch the full battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BuMYwDHW4p8

► CREDITS:

JoJoVo as Mr. Peabody

M!CAH as Tock

CKVoice as Sherman

Mancha (UBERocity) as Christopher Columbus and Louis Pasteur

AbacusWizard as Milo

TheMonarchy as The Humbug

ThanosQuack as The Dodecahedron

Leo Barqui as King Azaz’s Advisors

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Art by 3ple & BMB

Beat by Tone Jonez

Beat Arranged by Theme Park Avenue

►LYRICS:

Mr. Peabody Verse 1

Peabody here

Mr. Peabody, is this somebody we oughtta fear?
No, my boy, a basic way that we can beat Tock is clear

Using all of our words wisely he will be brought to tears
He’s quite the sheepdog my dear (mm hmm)

Your author seems awfully weird, look at his and my abilities 
He wrote some trippy dreams (eh), I rewrite history (hm!)

Your boy needs your help to think? You must be kidding me
I sent mine on his own, now he’s a citizen of Italy (yeah)

Here’s the activities that I do in an average week
Prove the laws of gravity, capture the Apache chief

Scale a massive peak then hatch a scheme to travel seas, bail out his majesty from tragedy and have a feast then redefine the rapping scene (that’s right)

I’m not your average bow wow
I’m in the penthouse, you're in the doghouse now

You tried to use words, but when the demons found out
They beat the clock and quite fittingly, you wound down

Tock Verse 1

Milo, they look lifeless, are they from the Doldrums?
I know why they’re like this, they didn’t wake Chroma

They really lack color, expected in their days
Since they race against time from a time against race

You went to the Inca, and had them colonized
My lessons are ageless, while yours are lost to time

Look at your currency, it’s clearly reached its end
I’ll get you up to speed, China doesn’t use yen

As a parent you’re an idiot, with your abusive influence
You liked to kid a little bit, then your son bit a little kid (loud growl)

You aren’t innocent, yet you had Sherman disciplined
His orphanage was pretty grim, but you’re somehow more strict with him

You’re no King Azaz with your quips, the awful stuff you’re spitting in
The stu makes me feel really sick just like the Mathemagician’s did

(Ahem) This mutt’s wit isn’t quick, and he challenged our brilliance?
Of course that’s quite ridiculous, and I can’t stand a hypocrite

Mr. Peabody Verse 2

Hey, Peabody’s the smartest! Quiet, you (Ahem) 
Sherman’s biased but despite this you will find his claim’s entirely true

A quick history lesson will provide some proof, Sherman! Yes?
Set the Wayback! What year? Let’s start with 1492

This dog showed me the world is-a round, he changed the map
But I’ll never be convinced your personality’s not flat

He named pasteurization, he’s a clever gent (oui oui)
You’re ticked off since your parents named you for your birth defect

Why yes, and I’ve had less than two minutes to speak impressive words
Yet they’re the best you’ve ever heard like I’m addressing Gettysburg (uh huh)

Your relevance is getting old, like the thing on your side 
Now you’d fit in another book: A Wrinkle in Time

Tock Verse 2

Great references, but now it’s time you meet some
Of our own, like the Dodecahedron

Tock, what math do you know? Well I know Mr. Peabody’s box office
Subtract that from his budget! It equals lost profits! (right!)

Peabody lies to people in each new place
Is there a less ironic way to call him two-faced?

How about deceitful? Double-dealing! Insincere! Duplicitous!
Dishonest! False! Crooked! Untrustworthy! Perfidious!

The Trivium would love to watch your show, it’s a waste of time for sure
But after seeing it there’s one thing I have learned

I know you teach Sherman words since you’re the mentor he looks up to
But you always fall silent when you try to say “I love you”

Mr. Peabody vs Tock. PowerPoint Rap Battles

M!cah as Fredbear 
ForgottenSons as Mike Tyson 
Art by WAN & MegaPMB 
Mixed by Zagranis 
CoverArt by Box 
Beat Prod. By Raias Beats

Lyrics: 

Mike Tyson: 
I step onto the Ring, causing Fazbear Frights now 
One swing and I’ll knock this This fat bears lights out 
Mash you against a wall, till you're withered and tethered 
Wreck your face, see you tryna put that shit back together 

You don’t see, I try to keep my damage in the ring still  
You wreck a marriage, getting your creators kid killed 
Growing up I had it tough, often I had empty plates 
Even then I´d never eat in your trashy pizza place
 
Don’t play games with me Teddy, it’s best run now 
But if you wanna do that, you finna end up punched out  
A failure build on failures of failure of failures of your creator 
A copycat and such a rat. Chuck. E cheesy faker 


Fredbear: 
Surprise, surprise Tyson already getting ticked off 
Went to rehab, but he still packs a couple Kilos 
It’s not the world’s fault got sidetracked and lost your spark 
Yourself make your PR team as useless as your bodyguards 

Man even your punchlines don’t hit, guess that’s the sad truth 
That verse was the biggest waste of ink since your tattoos
This heavyweight’s light work, at Freddy’s we catch you off guard 
Mess around with the springlocks, you’ll end up a locked jaw 

Mike Tyson: 
That’s it, I’ll put your broken fam thru a second mourn 
Man, your 20/20 ain’t shit to my 44 
See scoreboard, see you ain’t fit for the lore
See you’ve squat of screen time, see your soul mucus at your core?! 

Believe, I’ve my fair share of days rage has me itching 
I work them issues out, you ass just sits while twitching
You doin’ Jack if screaming while wailing is your fighting style 
Fuck a Game Theory, I already know who’s The Crying Child 

Fredbear: 
Now scamming with the Paul’s is the only Prime left in your reign 
Seriously? I’ve seen fancier boxers up on Calvin Klein (hey!)
On the bright side this fight to your prime beckons 
Based on the fact, it was over before even 20 seconds 

Your life’s unjust, but against it you can’t seem to fair better 
Now cough up waterworks behind Canelo and Mayweather 
Don’t worry Mike everyone has anger and has fears 
You need to vent, luckily for you I’m all ears 

The pressure kept building, and it left you defenseless 
Now you’re a shell of an Old Man, avoiding the Consequences 
It’s a TKO, times run out, and the bites taken 
The baddest man, keeps the devil waiting 
(Connection Terminated)

Fredbear vs Mike Tyson- Rap Battle! ft. forgottenSons & M!CAH

TheMonarchy as RGB
ZXY as Mr. Puzzles


Crew
Beat by Sinima Beats
Mixed by Trav Shark
Written by Trav Shark
Additional writing help by aepuns, AngelicWarrior, DJBalloonz, ZXY
Art by Trav Shark
Thumbnail by Trav Shark


RGB:
RGB here to bring the beat on your steel
I'm not here for a job, I'm just here to keep it real
Are you a monster? We're not on the same set 
Call you Michael Bay by pulling the same entertainment

Let's play chess, that’ll probably get you on
Considering you treat everyone as your little pawns
Never seen someone insecure to save face
Just to be a SMASH HIT on the picture box for they're taste

Your dad's right, you really have no creativity 
Your World of Make Believe is full of plagiarized activity
You're just the outlaw with the hell that you brought
Unlike the sheriff, you can only handle One-shot 

Now what kind of telly receives terrible reception?
Even after seeing flaws, he shows no redemption
Wanted someone Leggy, now that's a feet obsession 
Just stick to friending rocks if you want better acceptance


Mr. Puzzles:
Greetings, didn't see your name on the cast list
That's fine, cuz like attempts: you won't last this
Really got the rap keys to help you take the lead
Only to have the police come and give you a beat

Who needs heroes? I'm the only star on set
I have five of them, but it seems you're the “marked” object
Hero's got you hanging; anger's got her wrapped
But she's got the hole in her heart when the branch snapped

A swing of your cane and I'll cut your head
Better read the room, you're bleeding infrared
Peter Pan's gotten Negative; he's not the tougher man
Cuz the dreams he smoked are his acid trip to Neverland 

Got the stink eye from your lover with no confess
Even your short extension cord in her output can't impress
Got you binge watching on what you made as goners
You'll always be a scammer with how you Rob her


RGB:
Such a failure, you need people on lock strains
Why even make sense? all you do is rot brains
Seems the Sans really slipping through your very best
Cuz you're bound to this earth to never leave the Ness

You're only great with two roles: a TV and a fool
Unlike the dummy who's always cast as every animal
You're stuck in the past, you've let your amusement go
It's time to knock you off the air and end the Truman Show 

Here's the puzzle: is he someone we should fear? 
(Mr. Puzzles: What?)
Video killed this video star, it should be pretty clear 
(Mr. Puzzles: Wait that's not-)
Quarantined himself cuz his life already spiked
(Mr. Puzzles: Stop it)
So as he's flipping the channels, I'll be flipping the mic
(Mr. Puzzles: ENOUGH!)


Mr. Puzzles:
Why'd you stop? My opponent got cold feet?
Or maybe I'm one of his nightmares on full screen
Maybe if he achieves his goal, he'll let us be
Until then, he's only headlining for LSD

To me, you're the worst one and just lack a fight
Don't take my word, you said it in black and white
Everyone thinks your worthless when you walk on the street
Maybe eat some iron to burn off that acting degree

The screen’s cut to black, it's time to Dial back
Had lots of fun, but your mic hates your vile rap
With all the beating you take that get you rough dry
We should really do this again sometime

Mr. Puzzles vs. RGB ft. TheMonarchy & ZXY

prod by JEFFJENKEM

ghost

Do you like scary movies? I don’t like yours:
The overglorified torture porn
Even with so much gore, your film ain’t rough enough.
Heh… pretty funny, huh?
Once I cut out the blood and guts, I’ll bring it up to snuff

I’m horrorcore: do it like I’m Voorhees or the Torrance sort, 
So expect a kid to get his torso torn
Vocal chords screaming “mommy!” as I’m growing close
Home Alone? Well, you don’t know for sure

But I’ll get a little festive with it when I visit
Hear doorbell’s a-ringing, now Kev’s a Christmas spirit 
No answer? Then I’ll enter like my knife does
Grab the handle, twist it, and leave the inside sliced up- OW FUCK (*hot doorknob*)

kev

BOZO! My traps’ll ward you off!
I set them all up while you monologued and waffled on
Your victims get away? Take advice from their escapes
If you’re having trouble with the door, try the stairway! (*hit with paint can*) 

HAH, you fell again!
Since you slip a lot, I’ve prevented it (*steps on nail*) 
‘Cause I’m sharp and a step ahead!
If you like stalking on women then 
I know another creepy crawly you can befriend! (*spider attack!!*)

Ghostface, you should be honoured and proud
You’ll finally get put in the papers when your body gets found
Because you'll live up to your name if you don’t walk yourself out
Once you trip on one more thing, you’ll end up haunting this house

ghost

I’ll show Kidzbop Kramer a real rip off
They’ll struggle putting you together if you’re craving to be Jigsaw
You’re soulless like his puppet as well! You’re an expert!
You’ll get wheeled out, too! On a STRETCHER

kev

Stretch is right! The ghost’s franchise is dead!
If Scream gets too long, it’s a pain in the neck
Good thing you mask it up with voice changing effects
When you’re stabbed, you’d yell like me in every chase scene you’re in

ghost

In this verse, one more Ghostface assists me with this
But I heard there was more of your flicks, and I’m pissed
Cause like my accomplices, a second’s expected
But not the third, or the fourth, or the fifth, or the sixth

(*multiple ghostfaces appear and chase kevin*)

Fuck a second me, I brang a never-ending me crusade
Meant to beat and maim Dennis the Mentally Deranged
Wanna bash our voice? You should take a tip
For when you made the scripts of all your later films and fuckin’ change the pitch!

So which one of us will get the kill now?
It’s a free for all, like you’re Kevin MacLeod
We’ll tear your throat out if you’re yelling so loud
It’ll be a Silent Night once you’re dead in the ground!

(*they got majorly juked by kevin, they stab a decoy*)

Wait, it’s just a cutout on a shitty old broom!

kev

(*kevins at the top of some building pelting them with bricks*)

I’m awful surprised you got the wrong guy
It’s your signature move
Cause all your narratives share a template
Wanna be bricks in the wall? Oh ho, you’ll get bricks!

Always partnered up, and it baffles me
Only for stabbing sprees, never romantically
You wanna gut ‘em because you’re gutted they’ve had enough talk
But you’re just hung up on the fact you get hung up on

(*one ghostface runs away from kevin’s brick assault into the city streets*

You haunt your daughter far from where you started off
You got Lost in New York after you lost the plot
Because her mind is a mess
But when you’re dead, she’ll be like how you’ll get this violent dent: 

Old Man Marley:

Right in the head

(*old man w the shovel oneshots ghostface*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

i actually started writing this after christmas 2024 and had both first verses done before i went MIA, but during my break i eventually chiseled this down til i got where it is today, and im happy w how it turned out.

it was also very fun to write kevins 1st, with all the trap shit. i didnt know how to convey that kind of physical comedy purely through an audio format so i hoped the sound effects work haha

Ghostface VS Kevin McCallister - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

prod by SAINT-DROP

than

I’ve conquered galaxies
Stars and planets kneel before my massive fleets
All is grasped between my palms so Ganon’s region is not worth vanquishing
You’re called calamity incarnate? That’s the name they oughta had for me
Cause if you reincarnate, then this body’s guaranteed

Your power’s so finite
Only spanning three timelines
You’ve been a bore in my eyes
And I don’t mean the swine kind
You’d die twice when you and a child fight
But I’ll help rewind time
You then got a fresh start when you met your demise like

You hide in fortresses til a half-pint warrior kills ya
Just a sitting duck when you have no Courage and Wisdom
You’ve only ever had Power, cause when it’s in my hands
You’ll end up just as empty and barren as your own desert land

gan

Pity… for an Eternal, you’ve no eternal youth
I get purple too, but only when I look at you
Horrid creature, being born a leader is what I’m suited to
It’s my birthright, something that you couldn’t do

Girlfriend’s a skull head, I’d say he’s just as dense
Cause this weak man can’t see that he’s slave to all her whims
So much cowardice that now his own face has gotten split
Cause you’re an ace at being able to take it on the chin

You can’t conquer - any star that you find
When Nebula’s your daughter - and you’d toss her aside
And you nearly ruled the cosmos - but you thought your - artifact died
So go on and have mine, for YOU just seem to LOSE power all of the time

than

(*thanos gets the power triforce and uses it to complete the infinity gauntlet*)

You just made a mistake. A grave one.
The Cosmic Cube then or your Triforce now won’t shape up
So cough up your armies and squadrons
Ironic, I slaughter your gauntlet of bosses with a gauntlet

(*thanos starts fuckin, bashing shit round hyrule with the gauntlet*)

With how you store your currency
You can’t afford my mercy
When your rainbow shards are scattered far and they get lost in random pots until a boy goes burgling
In the homes he lurks in
So I’ll show him what a REAL home invasion’s got

All of your goblins and Lizalfos’ get chopped to death 
And it’s obvious to me that any sort of Guardians aren’t a threat
You’re a lunatic, your planned purge was flooding the damn Earth?
I’ll do Hyrule a favour and snap - before you snap first

(*thanos snaps*)

gan

I applaud and laugh! You left my army halved!
But they’re only there to ensure I get a proper match
You really dare to split me in two? You’ll see me halved then…
Cause now you’re talking to GANON

(*ganondorf kinda just doesnt care and turns ganon*)

Some rodent left your MASSIVE ASS FLAT
So if you’ve mastered betrayal, you’re better AS A DAMN RAT 
I’m the only person that you CANNOT BACKSTAB
Cause you’re no rival, I’ve a dark side THAT YOU CAN’T MATCH

But Thanos, know I’m thankful for the crafts and forces that you’ve brought
For after your defeat, your men will fall under my grand control
To have the stars and beyond is a chance I hold
But first I now command you all to bow before Ganondorf, your brand new lord

(*ganon takes control of thanos’ fleet and goes on a big space adventure :3*)


hi! welcome back to a new different version of rosenthal battles where i sort of just dont give a shit about anything past the demo stage because i cba!

this specific battle was inspired by this one battle rapper named jey the nitewing, who is like the definition of aura, so i wanted to write a battle that sorta encapsulates the mad king energy. some other battlers that inspired this writing were dizaster and real sikh on ganon’s side, but this is mainly inspired by jey in general.

for this battle i wanted to focus on setting a tone of like “you dont fuck around w these guys” and the substance of the disses sorta suffered from that, but ermm i kinda uhh dont care lole. hopefully i was able to deliver what i wanted thru the writing and performance, but im just glad knowing that i was able to pay good tribute to the mad fucking king 👑

Thanos VS Ganondorf - Scrapped Battles of Whatever

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have randomly-generated rectangles; Steve and Alex from Minecraft vs the YouTube channel Webdriver Torso. Enjoy, and happy April Fool’s Day!

Danii as Steve
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SwaggyFlan
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/453EGjLZcGifTB4Tyjzdgq

TAFox as Alex
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thatadorablefox
Cardd: https://thatadorablefox.carrd.co/

Commander Jacob as Red Rectangle
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: https://twitter.com/commander_jacob

JustGamer as Blue Rectangle
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JustGamerRapBattles
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3n1xhiocXnl8yFsVxb2IqW

- LYRICS -

Minecraft (0:10)
Steve:
Hey Alex, where are the coords we wrote?
Alex:
Don’t need ‘em, I can tell that we’re stepping on two zeros
I thought paintings were flat, but you’re even thinner
Steve:
You're so 2D, why would you have a profile picture?
Alex:
Nice
Steve:
Watching your channel makes lava swimming seem way fun
Forget down, you’re what we’d never dig
Alex:
Straight up!
Steve:
We’ll level you awfully low
Alex:
One body blow quite Hertz
For your sake, get some other audio, Driver

Webdriver Torso (0:31)
You really think you rock with the lines you write?
Cuz what we're picking up is as worthless as diorite
You piss your pants when a diamond shines
Then you cry if you lose one; your mood’s swinging side-to-side
Here’s something to Evoke the sense of getting Vexed
Built a world brick-by-brick and it was broken by a Lego set
Your cycle’s not two-week; the movie trailer though?
If Warner Bros played your game, it wasn’t in creative mode
Plus there's a practice that we're struggling to grasp, and it makes
Our brain more broken than the shield you always have to your face
You stack materials deep in a cave, pickaxing away
Just to make gadgets so that you don't have to actually play

Minecraft (1:03)
Steve:
Spider shit; we’re spinning Web tonight
Only thing Driving through your Torso is Sharpness V netherite
Alex:
Nah, use a bow. While their position’s always changing
Unlike us, with all their shots, they’re still completely aimless
Don’t let a mace in the wrong hands
Steve:
I’ll knock a glitch all the way to the Farlands
Alex:
We tower in numbers, they paid us some large bands
Steve:
Want yours higher? Maybe just call France *old death sound*
Add up all your channels that just copy explicitly 
And an Enderman can still garner more watchtime, admittedly
Alex:
At least a PowerPoint gives you some options for different themes
You got no one in your corner, there’s no Aqua Affinity
Steve:
Damn
Steve and Alex:
Put you to Bed, you’ll get sweaty when War wages
Smashin the rap game; we’re known to control stages
We’ll space and click to cut the “alien speak”
Steve: 
Hey, you know what we should pause?
Alex:
I see the player you mean.

Webdriver Torso (1:44)
Your community regularly has criminals instilled in it
YouTubers reach a peak but can't build limits
If that doesn’t happen, they still form a brainless army
Making us question why they hate Baby Zombies
It’s like you’re cursed; be thankful we were conceived with beeps
You complain, with a high frequency, “updates are a low frequency”
And when they do drop in the game
All you see are more biomes to colonize and mobs to enslave
Crops indicate what you’ve grown to be
A content farm, so to speak, complete with controlling seeds
Our background is darker than some of Steve’s merch, how disheartening 
Perhaps Notch was head of marketing

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, beat arranged, and Webdriver beat produced by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Minecraft beat produced by Phil Tyler
Additional ambience by Modeaudio

Feedback by Eric the Audible, TheMonarchy, 3ple, itsnugget, SimplyRazzy, GamingPlush64, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to TheBabyBeef, ENNWAY, Fightmarker, and SimplyRazzy

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Minecraft vs Webdriver Torso | Rap Battle (LARB)

TheToppo as Little Beak and Little Penguin Lost
Mixed and cover art by Cidisswo
Beat by Insanebeatz

Special Thanks:
WhozPhantom
Euphoric Brothers
Nintendo

[little beak verse 1]
The Garten’s done sweeping up the Dandy’s World fuckers
Now they want me to fight a penguin with a vacant mother
Fuck it, I can take care of you quick like i was Mario
Go ahead and jump, fatty, it’ll be some nice cardio (FATASS!)

You kept coming back in Mario Party
But no one invited your ass, you’re even spectating their Karting
You charge at everybody in Mario Party 8
But in the movie, your kingdom got fucked up by Bowser’s army

Sure, I’m often talked down upon because of my game’s design
But I’ve never seen a single thing as scary as your Lego’s eyes
Waddle down to Dire Dire Docks, I’ll catch your dumbass drowning
Then I’ll drop your dead body down into the fucking mountains, bitch!

[little penguin lost verse 1]
You shoulda just went on to fight Toodles
Cause I’m ‘bout to turn the dial up as much as your pupils
And your forehead’s so big, I thought I was fighting a lightbulb
But you’re not the brightest, your eyes are more like black holes 

I gotta ask, what the fuck is your problem?
You had like 5 different siblings ‘till your foster mother dropped them
And if I was in your situation, I’d be terrified
If my actual mother was snacking down on her child (Ew!)

You’re talkin’ ‘bout me being dropped off a cliff
But it’s not nearly as bad as what Bouncelia did
She knocked you into a barrel of GV
So maybe you should hop back into it if you’re trying to beat me 

[little beak verse 2]
I see your brethren in Sparks of Hope
But I can tell you don’t have any with how hard you choked
Waddle away, Happy Feet, go back to your careless mom
I bet she’d rather have your lookalike and straight up have you gone

[little penguin lost verse 2]
You got mutated and you won a fight against a dinosaur
But you got crushed between an iron door and now you’re kinda sore
You ran cause you can’t fly in this form and after that
Your poor mom was naughtified to the core, can’t reincarnate her back.

Little Beak vs Little Penguin Lost - Rap Battle

Don’t gotta hold in your laughter when these felted funnymen take the stage!

Both voices, writing and mix by Leo Barqui

Beat by Raias Beats

Randy art by Hazelmoth

Ted art and thumbnail composition by Tompuffs

Special thanks to ClarencetheDuck, Hypotoria, Hazelmoth, Zagranis and Alchemyking

Edit (when it releases) by GreenOwl


Lyrics:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1si4nZeMpD15jOmZUrFMkt_sE3y1bfpR33vuMdqN3vME/edit

Randy Feltface vs Ted

Ego as Granny 
Ego as Grandpa
TheToppo as The Warden
Beat by: Sapjer and Bross
Written by: Ego, lowkdoodles and jordy
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

GRANNY!!!!

VS!!!!

THE WARDEN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Granny]
(laughs) ugh I am your granny, this hack I am hacking and slashing 
And with this bat, your head I will bash in, show you im batshit, like pepper spray: can it
Downloads go up like attics, The Warden, oh hes just so rancid
And on the track, im dropping bear traps, so how could you match up? you’re already half dead
You should respect your elders, or join the rest of my helpers (Hhh, hhh)
Is it a suprise that I’m better? The one with the spider came up on the web first
Beware, granny is no fable, I’m heavy metal like a Granny smithing table
You wont find MY keys, Warden, wanna play hide and seeeeeek?
Aint one to be played with, I keep the player in the basement
But with the way your updates went, you left your fans in the deep dark, but that aint what your player base meant!
Want a war then warden? Battle me, you’re cooked
Make like angelene and book
And you shouldn’t feel too bad you haven’t any ears
You havent made noise in the fandom in years
After this bat-tery its lights out, unless you want you be ground, you should burrow back into it right now
And the only reason that you got more power than the enderdragon is that in the end you're draggin all your fights out
You couldn't beat me with your TV tropes, sir 
Keep your E rating I’ll stick with DV Loper
You got 2 verses left so try to talk back
And we’ll who’s really immune to knockback

[Warden]
Yo granny it’s past your bedtime
Lay victims to bed but you can’t lay a rhyme
I’m glad that I’m blind so I cant see your games shit design
Your textures are more pixelated than mine
Your names funny, youre not a grandma, youre a dang mummy
In your lil’ red santa hat, feeling all festive-like
Watch me grab my catalyst and check it twice *skulk sound*
For like 5 days, you were trending
Then you went to shit like your franchise took the sewer ending
I dug out, when you’re up to bat
Its ironic, a Grammy would suck at rap (ahh)
And If I were you, Id be driven
Instead of cars, to fix your lighting engine
No eyes, one look at me scares all the children
You’re a phone game, I'm THE out of pocket addition
Slendrina, I’ll take you to school
But like your model they should have gave you the boot
And I wouldn’t sweater, go back to your knitting club, 
Tick me off and the grandfather is getting clocked
You would eat crow in a cage fight 
This is your last chance, like day 5 
Couldn’t even hit your own target audience
Out of ammo and aimless, as your AI 

[Grandpa and Granny]
(AHA!) No wrench but you might be screwed
Better bolt or ill send you the “ICU” 
When I swing it you know it’s such a sweet sensation
Even Marky Mark rapped better good vibrations
I’ve never heard a verse that left me more bored
Best watch your step like The Creaking. Floorboards.
Can’t you see why you Diana (die and i) live?
If you don’t want smoke, than stay out the crib!

[Warden]
We both have underground societies
But your following is counting down, like hide and seek
Your dental plan’s a disturbing signt
Use them white pearl eyes for some pearly whites
Hit the cutting room floor, once the remakes phased you out
Kids left you behind and now the retirement home is granny’s house

Granny vs The Warden (Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

► CREDITS:

littleflecks as Feathers McGraw

Matt Raichous as Mojo Jojo

Narrator voiced by Alchemyking

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Mojo Jojo Art by Luke Reardon

Feathers McGraw Art by TreToonzz

Beat Prod. by Teimunity

Mixed by Serena


Cover Art by JK03


►LYRICS:

Mojo Verse 1 

Ah, the chicken from the wanted posters, I have been expecting you
I heard you were in Townsville and knew you would need to rent a room

And that is why I, Mojo Jojo, made that stupid ad
To lure you to my lair, and you have fallen right into my trap

Because you are here, you are in my presence and defenseless
I will beat you with my battle raps and have you apprehended

And collect the bounty money to help fund my plan to conquer the Earth
Then finish my breakfast, but the chicken comes first (evil laugh)


Feathers Verse 1 

Alright, the glove is coming off (What?!)
Yeah, I’m not a chicken but I’m certainly the cock of the walk

No other robber’s on the watch of every copper in the county
Man, I’m worth a thousand pounds, you’ve taken several thousand poundings

From the Wonder Triplets you seek to destroy, but even with your freakish toys
You still have weaker evil ploys than the Amoeba Boys

You tried a million plans but always wound up overpowered
You couldn’t even get a leg up with the right trousers


Mojo Verse 2

No, this cannot be, I wrote both of my verses
Based on the fact that I assumed you were a chicken, cuuuuurses

Mwahaha, I am now well-versed in your movie roles
Though you have very little material, like your studio!

You try to fly solo, but on your own you are no menace
You just met some random cheesehead and depend on his inventions

You cannot take the heat, for when your plans go off course
You start sweating like a pig, resembling mojo pork

You had an excellent plot, till it went off the rails and then you were caught
I shall refer to you as Fettered McGraw

That is to say you were a failure, your scheme was ineffective
It was thwarted, foiled, prevented! Well, actually, maybe not prevented, uhh

But you went to jail, the place of your residence was a prison
While the only lengthy sentences I get are from my diction

When you broke out of your cell you tried your heist again in hopes of doing better
And repetition really ruffles my feathers


Feathers Verse 2 

That’s enough, let’s flash back to your past, you were a lab assistant
Smashing tons of crap and getting chastised by your master

In fact, you broke the glass that made the Powerpuffs by accident
So Daddy kicked out and you went back to the lab again

And then you thought you’d found a prime mate for companionship
But she was just a plant, and she ordered a banana split

You’re really weak, if I got cheated by some madam
I would never feel a pain in my soul, ‘cause I don’t have one

You must be sad, being an unwanted villain is crazy
I’d suggest you call the Hotline, but you’re beyond saving

So how about I put you out the misery you’re facing
As I finally take a shot at a mad scientist, say "cheese”

Narrator
So once again the day is saved, thanks to…
Feathers McGraw the evil penguin?
I don’t like the ramifications of this one


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