this is the first single from my new record.
pictured is my best friend who recently passed, his name is boudreaux but we usually called him bubba. i want you to know who he was because he deserves more than i could ever have given him.

mastered by @alexanderpanos

It's killing me this time.
The only thing ive ever known
Is how I can crack like a stone
And I want that to change
It's hard to accomplish - I lose track of time
I was killing this indigenous feeling
I never knew how to react

Atarax,
Copy that
Close enough
I catch a laugh
Call me a slab
Poured to crack
The pack
Hydrogen atoms
Will stack on my back
Untill I snap

You were an acrobat
I was a stumbler
Tumbling caught
In the turbulent air

I could not ask him
Because I have already
Burned up the grace
That was given to me

I was a copycat
You were a soldier
I know what you meant-
I could hardly see

GO! GO! GO!

You were an acrobat
I was a stumbler
Tumbling caught
In the turbulent air

I could not ask him
Because I have already
Burned up the grace
That was given to me

You were an acrobat
I was a stumbler
Tumbling caught
In the turbulent air

I could not ask him
Because I have already
Burned up the grace
That was given to me

I was a copycat
You were a soldier
I know what you meant-
I could hardly see

bubba

Pre-order Bubba

stumbler

Under the live oak where you stand,
I throw a stick and then you fly away.
You held it tight, 
almost as if you taunted me.
"You.. You couldn't catch me if you tried to!"
 
Under the live oak there you stand,
lowered your level posture so I would join you.

I couldn't catch you if I tried.

Run; do not think.
Evening pressing sunset oak leaves.
Run, you love thing.

Love thing.

run you love thing

i know you're sickly
well i'm not the cure
but i know where to find it 
for you, but not for me
i'll bleed unnecessarily 
across the rugged floor

i know the best thing that i've ever seen
i was carefully counting 
the breaths in between
i can't say i was right 
but i know i'm not wrong
when i dig myself into 
the withering ground

i remember that morning - i watched as you died 
and i felt the conviction
the grass starts to die
and i ran by the red light
the engine would scream
like it knew what it meant 
what was there had been seen

so i flooded that engine down high-75
past a hundred, felt nothing 
but it coddled my eyes
as the trees started blurring 
the lines became vague
so i guessed their positions 
and kept it opaque

and i know now i wasn't
prepared for the loss
i was bound to my heart
contradicted by cross
on the hill i was buried
with christ by my side
we were dead but could never have
come back to life

(x2)
i accepted defeat 
and the angels would sing
of the glory of god 
as my ears start to ring
out the noise i had carried
down into my grave
and my name became letters
my face now decaying

the critters partake in my hollow remains,
i am carefully put back
to where i became what i was when i knew you
your name stays the same
as i'm dirt you are life

you are more than remains

the critters

music video: https://youtu.be/CyFUlA_qQ3Q?si=oefwFinVOnfvXPDV
mastered by @alexanderpanos

I think part of me died too
yeah I sink when I swim

and part of me wants to
drown in this world without you

but I can't find the rhyme
the reason's what's getting me

and I can't find the line
I'm lost and it's dark out

and i'm scared that i'm not scared
and i'm scared that the nicotine's helping
and i'm scared you might see it too

well, do you?

I think part of me likes to
walk the thin ice

I wish I was still with you
now i'm tearing at the straws

but I can't find the rhyme
the reason's what's getting me

and I can't find the line
I'm lost and it's dark out

and i'm scared that i'm not scared
and i'm scared that the nicotine's helping
and i'm scared you might see it too

and i'm scared that i'm not scared (your combination i've never seen)
and i'm scared that the nicotine's helping (your combination i've never seen)
and i'm scared you might see it too (your combination i've never seen)

well, do you?

not scared

BGbDbGbBbDb capo 4

watch myself speak in the mirror
how my words fall off their string
tell myself there's nothing different
this is how i've always been

i'm just cradling my fears
alternating between shooshing and singing
lullabies about their angels

i want to believe

i'll come out the other side
i will not turn into smoke
one day i'll be strong enough to
press a kiss to your collarbone

i stayed up and poured what's left
of myself into a fishbowl and back
felt like the fitting thing to do
this feels like all i can do

all i can do

11/09/24 - 28/03/25
2/11

Want2 is sorta about being queer and wanting to be straight, or normal, but just knowing that you can't. Maybe it relates to Wind with the theme of not really liking who you are but still accepting it. It's from the perspective of wanting to be with a woman, but knowing that no matter how hard you try it just wouldn't work out, and that kind of awkward aprehensive sort of tone comes from that.

I always wanted to make a garage pop song, and this was like my hundredth attempt haha. Anyway I was just sending some drafts in a groupchat to get some thoughts and Eva seemed to really take to the idea and asked to jump on it. I adore Eva and their work so it was a no brainer and she transformed the track overnight pretty much, completely rearranging it and pretty much laying out a whole song, it was wild. We went from there and eventually got it done!

you can find Eva and her work here!:
https://soundcloud.com/eva-nge-line
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5u2g7SyRhKga7Cf8MUvKsM?si=9yhIDqs3SPaNixKBb3NSbQ
https://twitter.com/evangelinestuff
https://instagram.com/evangelinestuff
https://evangeline.info/

[LYRICS]
(to want)

I want to want you, but I don't.
And I need to tell you, but I won't

And if I tell you what I want
would you take it down to heart?
If I tell you what I want?

'cuz I want
I want

'cuz I want to want you
And I know, you just wanna be alone sometimes, you just wanna be alone
but I don't wanna be alone (sometimes)
(sometimes)

But I don't wanna be alone
If I'm forward, backward, reverse it down alone
lah lah bah bah dah dah dah

I wish I never met you in the first place
I know, you wish you never met me in the first place
I don't know what I want, what I want

Want2 (w/Evangeline)

mastered by @tevinmichaelr

for kt

has our love lost the magic
saying that the love we had is

break a break
and we break a break it off now
if you're not satisfied
if you think this is right

break a break
and we break a break it off now
break a break
and we break a break it off now

my love, you'll be happier with somebody else
after all, i could only wish that you're doing well
and i'll be here if you ever need a friend
if you ever wanna try again
cuz to me this not the end

saying that the love we had is fading
can't believe that girl like what you saying
saying that the love we had is fading
can't believe that girl like what you say

break a break
and we break a break it off now
oh my no no no no
break a break
and we break a break it off now
oh my no no no no

breakabreak

i don’t know
what i can’t see 

i can only hope 
that you 
will
read it to me 

i do sketches 
but not in full

i’m half empty

just digesting
matted hair 

ugly pull 

keeping me down 
keeping me down

there’s a lot of things i wouldn’t tell you just to take the load off of you

keeping me down 
keeping me down 

there’s a lot of things i wouldn’t say 
just to keep the load off you

and it’s not a reason
and it isn’t right for me to blame 

i’m not believing 
i’m only shame 

it never seasons 
it only swings

i’m only tired
and what does that ever bring

Shame

laptop demo

the worlds first asexual post nation guilt song

touched myself
till I got overwhelmed
by the thought of your face
and it is strange that you don’t have a clue

woke up
sheets wet and half mast
can’t shake the feeling that
I’ve got some debt to repay to you

for you are sanct and I’m a sinner
you are grace before the dinner
and I am asking god for things
he could never promise me

so I’ll commit to fearing fiction
now my hearts a closing system
wash my mirror with my face
it is you I’ve learned to hate

Smut

An album of songs in French inspired by nomads in the Francophone world like in Europe and Africa

Voyage Intérieur

Da un po’ di tempo a questa parte
in rete, a voce e nelle carte
è usata sempre più di frequente
una espressione ridondante.
In italiano, nell’uso normale,
se si parla di persone e animali
al genere maschile si dà precedenza,
ma della donna l’uomo non può fare senza.
Ma se dico “Ragazzi” o “Colleghi” o “Dottori”
il mio sessismo non è neppure agli albori.
Mai sognerei di escludere le donne,
la grettezza resti da me duemila spanne.
Però vorrei che gli oratori
non si sentissero della parità i depositari
per aver introdotto una nuova locuzione,
un inutile esercizio di declinazione.
Lasciate perdere quella femminile,
seguo meglio un discorso sottile,
e le donne che conosco non baderanno all’esclusione
ché san bene che della mia felicità sono cagione.


not scared

‎preston woolsey