dedicated to boudreaux - my best friend. 

your unwavering love for myself, our family, and the world you saw with great vibrance inspires me daily. from the moment you opened your precious eyes until the moment the world closed them, you were a being of love and pure intent. 
i didn’t deserve you. 
i still haven’t learned how to live without you. 

i hope this honors your memory.
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written, recorded, mixed and produced by preston woolsey in omaha, nebraska.

digitally mastered by @alexanderpanos in northern illinois. 

horn performances and arrangements by padraig greene (@clovehitch) in kingston.

clarinets in ‘your combination’ by zachary alexander (@otrapic) in central maryland.
backing vocals in 'your combination' by @oyeme-thomas in chicago, illinois.
ambient elements in 'your combination' by alexander panos.

string performances by althea d’souza (@dawnfarer) in northern california 
(string arrangements by althea d'souza and preston woolsey)

bubba

this is the first single from my new record.
pictured is my best friend who recently passed, his name is boudreaux but we usually called him bubba. i want you to know who he was because he deserves more than i could ever have given him.

mastered by @alexanderpanos

It's killing me this time.
The only thing ive ever known
Is how I can crack like a stone
And I want that to change
It's hard to accomplish - I lose track of time
I was killing this indigenous feeling
I never knew how to react

Atarax,
Copy that
Close enough
I catch a laugh
Call me a slab
Poured to crack
The pack
Hydrogen atoms
Will stack on my back
Untill I snap

You were an acrobat
I was a stumbler
Tumbling caught
In the turbulent air

I could not ask him
Because I have already
Burned up the grace
That was given to me

I was a copycat
You were a soldier
I know what you meant-
I could hardly see

GO! GO! GO!

You were an acrobat
I was a stumbler
Tumbling caught
In the turbulent air

I could not ask him
Because I have already
Burned up the grace
That was given to me

You were an acrobat
I was a stumbler
Tumbling caught
In the turbulent air

I could not ask him
Because I have already
Burned up the grace
That was given to me

I was a copycat
You were a soldier
I know what you meant-
I could hardly see

Pre-order Bubba

stumbler

mastered by @alexanderpanos
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You've got a hold I cant explain
you would make me writhe in pain
you watched me as I grabbed the brake
and you made me hesitate

I falter but I own my faults
Though I can't control my thoughts
If you tell me im a piece of shit
Ill believe it

You complicated a simple stance
Could you give me one more chance?
You blew me off, said à tout à l'heure
Could you give me one more chance?
Could you give me one more chance?
Could you give me one more chance?

You know id kill to be your man
but you counter half my plans
I try to make you change your mind
Youre a loveable landmine

I know I should have self respect
But I cant put down the phone
You would throw me like an apple core
You dont like me

You complicated a simple stance
Could you give me one more chance?
You blew me off, said à tout à l'heure
Could you give me one more chance?
Could you give me one more chance?
Could you give me one more chance?

Bubba

marlboro red

Under the live oak where you stand,
I throw a stick and then you fly away.
You held it tight, 
almost as if you taunted me.
"You.. You couldn't catch me if you tried to!"
 
Under the live oak there you stand,
lowered your level posture so I would join you.

I couldn't catch you if I tried.

Run; do not think.
Evening pressing sunset oak leaves.
Run, you love thing.

Love thing.

run you love thing

official music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-48_1Q8rXfY

horns written and recorded by @clovehitch in kingston
album mastered by @alexanderpanos in northern illinois

---lyrics---
bubba, wait there for me,
i will find you.
wait there for me

i will find you bubba.

when you left me i was scared pup
i still hear you scratching up my 
vinyl door and running in the yard
it's baren, empty, fucked - cause i still love you 
like the last day that i saw you

now that you're gone,
i can't believe that you are.

i am lost,
i'm sorry I left you again.

they would not allow me to be there for you,
but I'll never leave you again.
i'll never leave you again.
i'll never leave you again.

i'll never leave you.

pictured is boudreaux (bubba) embraced by my brother.

mastered by @alexanderpanos
_____________________________________________________

don't attach to something you can't control
i'm starting to bold up (that's the way you roll)
i'm starting to bold up

nobody buys you nothing, you're on your own
i'm starting to show up
i'm starting to show up

cover,
you and i can cover anything easily

other,
i am fulcrum for the death of a decency

you know what?
i am honestly the same you are to me

i'm cauterizing nothing, i'm bleeding out
i just want to throw up
i just want to throw up

i don't wanna tell you i need the help
i want to deny it
i want to deny - see!

i'm crumbling by pieces!
i'm sad but i don't mean it!

(you coulda said it i know you wanna)

be the breath i wanna breathe
i stumble i reprieve

(you coulda said it i know you wanna)

cover,
you and i can cover anything easily

other,
i am fulcrum for the death of a decency

you know what?
i am honestly the same you are to me

(silhouetting who i used to be)

cover,
you and i can cover anything easily

other,
i am fulcrum for the death of a decency

you know what?
i am honestly the same you are to me

mend

i know you're sickly
well i'm not the cure
but i know where to find it 
for you, but not for me
i'll bleed unnecessarily 
across the rugged floor

i know the best thing that i've ever seen
i was carefully counting 
the breaths in between
i can't say i was right 
but i know i'm not wrong
when i dig myself into 
the withering ground

i remember that morning - i watched as you died 
and i felt the conviction
the grass starts to die
and i ran by the red light
the engine would scream
like it knew what it meant 
what was there had been seen

so i flooded that engine down high-75
past a hundred, felt nothing 
but it coddled my eyes
as the trees started blurring 
the lines became vague
so i guessed their positions 
and kept it opaque

and i know now i wasn't
prepared for the loss
i was bound to my heart
contradicted by cross
on the hill i was buried
with christ by my side
we were dead but could never have
come back to life

(x2)
i accepted defeat 
and the angels would sing
of the glory of god 
as my ears start to ring
out the noise i had carried
down into my grave
and my name became letters
my face now decaying

the critters partake in my hollow remains,
i am carefully put back
to where i became what i was when i knew you
your name stays the same
as i'm dirt you are life

you are more than remains

the critters

bubba out now

@krysalisalis wuz here O_<

the critters

‎preston woolsey