A collection of raw, emotional songs about surviving the aftermath—numbness, struggle, and the search for meaning after everything changes. This is life, back from the blur.

Back from the Blur

'I'm Sorry' is a raw, introspective dialogue exploring the complex relationship we often have with ourselves during depression. Originally written in 2021 during a period of treatment-resistant depression, this piece has evolved from written word to an acoustic arrangement that pairs vulnerable lyrics with simple guitar strumming. The narrative style deliberately breaks from traditional song structure to maintain the authenticity of its origins as a written piece.

This track is part of a series of works, including 'St;ll Here' and 'Your Echo Fades,' that document a personal journey through mental health challenges. By sharing this piece, I hope to reach others who may see their own struggles reflected in these words and remind them they're not alone in their journey.

Content warning: This track contains themes related to depression and negative self-talk.

Lyrics:

I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you.
I’m sorry for the names I’ve always called you.
I’m sorry that I never gave you enough, 
I’d simply leave you locked in handcuffs.
I pushed you aside when I knew you needed help, 
you begged me to stop, you begged and yelped.
You begged to be treated with the simple kindness I gave others, 
but even the thought of it would make me shudder.
You stood as I told people they were gorgeous and pretty, 
but the sight of you would just make me sickly.
Others were always smarter, stronger, happier and stable.
Something I told you, ‘You’d never be able’.
We’d laugh together, cry together, even travel the world together.
But I never considered you my friend.  Not ever.
I can’t even recall saying that I loved you, 
even after all the shit I put you through.
You’re always there for me, through thick and thin.
You carried me through every loss and every win. 
So as I stare in the mirror it’s still hard for me to see.
That I am you.  And you are me.

I'm Sorry

There's no place like home
Its with a heavy heart I know this land will be gone 
There's no place like home
We've all been running too long 

But there's something in the wind
Something different blowing in 
I feel this yearning deep within 
Theres a voice that calls for us all 

Something in the western wind calls me 
Something the western wind calls me 
Something in the western wind calls me 
Ive been running too long 
We've all been running too long

Western Drive

Running Too Long

"Slipping Away" is a profoundly emotional ballad that explores the heartbreaking experience of grieving a loved one even before they're gone. With a delicate piano-driven melody, gentle orchestration, and soulful, expressive vocals, the song conveys the quiet agony of watching someone slowly fade away. The lyrics poignantly capture the helplessness and profound sadness of witnessing each cherished moment grow dimmer, yet desperately holding onto hope and love until the very last breath. It's an intimate journey through loss, memory, and the enduring struggle to find strength in the wake of immense sorrow.

Slipping Away

"Familiar Stranger" explores the haunting space between recognition and loss when someone we know transforms before our eyes. With ethereal harmonies and atmospheric melodies, the song navigates the disorienting feeling of watching someone retain their physical form while their essence shifts into something unrecognizable. It's an intimate meditation on change, identity, and the bittersweet acceptance that sometimes the people we love become strangers wearing familiar disguises.

Familiar Stranger

"Echo Chambers" explores the quiet struggle of putting on a brave face while battling with isolation and mental health challenges. Through raw, intimate vocals set against minimalist acoustic guitar, the song navigates the disconnect between the person we present to others and who we truly are when alone with our thoughts. 

The track captures those moments when text messages are answered with emojis that hide our true feelings, when simple tasks feel overwhelming, and when the silence of empty rooms becomes deafening. Yet beneath the melancholy, there's a fragile thread of hope—a recognition that acknowledging our struggles is the first step toward healing. With its UK grime-influenced vocal delivery contrasting against delicate guitar work, "Echo Chambers" transforms everyday vulnerability into a universal experience, reminding listeners that it's okay to not be okay.

Echo Chambers

“Back from the Blur” is a haunting fusion of dark pop and theatrical storytelling, channeling the raw emotion of post-trauma survival. With brooding vocals, cinematic piano, and modern synth textures, this track captures the ache of going through life’s motions after everything has changed. It’s a powerful, soul-searching anthem for anyone who’s ever felt like they came back from something—only to wonder if they were ever truly whole again.

"Weight of Air" explores the invisible battle of depression and anxiety—how something as imperceptible as air can become crushing when filtered through mental illness. The song documents the exhausting experience of carrying on when simple existence feels overwhelming, the frustration of well-meaning but hollow advice, and finding meaning in small victories when major ones seem impossible. It's about the contradiction of suffocating in open space and the courage it takes to keep breathing anyway.

Weight of Air

🖤 The Miracle Syndicate - "Made Your Sorrow Feel Like Home (Unplugged)"

I watched you drown behind your eyes
By the iron shore where silence lied
Oh, smoke on the reeds, your fingers bled
Carried ghosts inside your head

The city pulse below my veins
But you… you never learned my name

And I…
I held you where the cold won’t speak
Beneath the birches, pale and weak
Your heaven lost, your burden known
I made your sorrow feel like home

My waters held the things you hid
A thousand suns, a life undid
Oh, you touched the rust upon my side
And wept for all you left behind

The wire sleeps beneath the ground, put down
Your pulse… it trembled with my sound

And I…
I held you where the cold won’t speak
Beneath the birches, pale and weak
Your heaven lost, your burden known
I made your sorrow feel like home

Trace me on your salted skin
Find my ruin deep within
Nothing here remembers you…
But I do

And I do…
And I do…

And I…
I held you where the cold won’t speak
Beneath the birches, pale and weak
Your heaven lost, your burden known
I made your sorrow feel like home

Credits:

Elena Morgenstern: Vox, Guitar, 
Brad Astra: Guitar
Nayeli Astra: Backing Vocals

Special Thanks:
To the ravens who guided our melodies, the universe for its endless inspiration, and to everyone who has been part of this journey. This music collection is dedicated to those who dream with their eyes open.

In Loving Memory:
To Rio, who always listened.

Recorded at:
Nude Studio · Calgary, Alberta

Artwork + Photography:
Brad Astra

Label:
Painful Records Ltd.

© 2025 The Miracle Syndicate · All rights reserved
Written and Produced by Brad Astra

Made Your Sorrow Feel Like Home (Unplugged)

Original song: The Front Bottoms
Picture: Google
Character: Travis Phelps from Sally Face

Twin Sized Mattress(Cover)

ITS ABSOLUTE DESTRUCTION
I DONT WANT TO SPELL OUT A CURSE
THINK MY MINDS OBSTRUCTED

HEADBANG AFFFFFFF

absolute destruction

Vibe with me

vibe with me

Made this song at like the beginning of a situation-ship that just ended so in memoriam here’s this song from the vault

480. meanginless DEMO prodbybillionstars

"I do NOT own the lyrics or songs from the Artists, ProleteR and Gorillaz. This is a remix of a remix I made."

ProleteR VS C&TD VS Gorillaz

I'll Give You Time

Buy it

The Witch & The Knight

#french #electronica #housemusic #expermental #frenchtouch #house #trance

Le temps et la vie

Xak Stahl: Alchemist of Sound, Architect of Emotion

Xak Stahl is a genre-blurring music artist, sonic storyteller, and relentless experimenter. Every track he creates is a new world—a kaleidoscope of indie folk, alt-pop, electronica, and global flavors—infused with raw emotion and boundless curiosity. Xak’s music isn’t just heard; it’s felt.

From Shadow to Spotlight

For Xak, music is metamorphosis. His journey began in the shadows, transmuting heartbreak and struggle into songs that glow with hope. Early anthems like “Neon Dreams” and “Rising Through the Darkness” invite listeners to find their own light. His newest project, Major Arcana, channels the mysteries of the Tarot—each song an archetype, each lyric a step along the path from the Fool’s first leap to the wisdom of The World.

More Than Music: A Multisensory Universe

But Xak isn’t confined to sound. As a visual artist and writer, he crafts immersive stories that spill across genres and languages—sometimes haunting, sometimes playful, always honest. Whether he’s conjuring lush soundscapes, weaving bilingual lyrics, or creating striking visuals, Xak’s art dares you to feel deeper and dream wilder.

An Invitation to Transformation

Join Xak Stahl on a sonic odyssey that blurs borders—between genres, between artforms, between you and the music. Each release is an invitation to explore, to heal, to become. For Xak, every song is a spell, every album a universe. The only question is: are you ready to step inside?

I'm Sorry

XAK STAHL

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