i wanted to use my voice here but my it sucks and the melody reminds me of us in a sad way:(

thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my spotify playlist here
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient

all my ambient songs

i was only temporary (Super Slowed)

Distribute your music on popular platforms such as Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, Amazon, Deezer and many more! With our service, you can get your music on 150+ stores while retaining your rights and revenue. Sign up for free today on SpaceMedia.uk

Special message to SoundCloud Artists

Drivers License (Cover)

The reading of "I Understand My Grandmother Now" from PsychedelicThoughts.blog
---------------------------

4am
Who is this next to me?
This is not the one I wanted to love.

I reflect on yesterday.
Rude remarks,
Biting sarcasm,
Annoyance.
I hold myself together through the daggers to my heart.

He calls me condescending.
It was supposed to be a loving jest.
My gentle nature annoys him.

I joke, calling myself sweet.
He calls me bitter.
No trace of a smile on his face.

He was sweet and gentle at first.
Talking about cuddles, love, settling down.
Talk of only one woman for him.
Goals aligned, I am lured in.
I make the biggest mistake of my life.

One month goes by.
My sunlight melts away the facade.

So much bitterness and anger.
So cold and distant.
I receive only a trickle of kindness and affection.

He does not show me any affection.
He dreams of strippers and hookers.
Talks about other women.
Am I not good enough?!

He is like my father-
So much anger and bitterness.
All his words are now poison.
I become a small, afraid child again.
Hiding within myself from his words.

He is just like my father.
I grow quiet.
Retreating into myself for safety.
Afraid to speak, for I will be criticized and judged.
Harsh words rub my heart like steel wool.

He is my father.
Sadness wells up in my heart.
Why was I so stupid.
I want to go back.
I fucking hate my life, what have I done.

I lay on the couch, writing and crying.
Snoring coming from the bedroom.
I am safe, he cannot hear me.
Too concerned about himself to care.

I cry.
I write.
I compose myself.
Put on the mask.
Five months left.

***

If only I could go back in time.

I only left because I want a home.
I want to settle down, not constantly move.
My time is running out, I wanted to start a family with you.
I can’t wait ten years, it will be too late for me.
I’m growing old and tired.

I never had a place to call home.
A stable spot to make my own.
My painfully turbulent childhood makes me wish for stability.

I wish settling with me could’ve made you happy.
Your soul is young, wild, free.
Mine is old and tired.
I wish settling with me could’ve made you happy.

What a fucking mistake I made.
Too old and tired, I accept that I will never start a family.
Just like my grandmother,
I will die alone on my deathbed in a nursing home.
For I have forsaken the one that truly loved me.

I understand her now.
Wanting to die, waiting patiently for death to come.
Hoping and praying for death.
Begging God for the mercy of death.
For living alone with the burden of regret is too great to bear.

I understand her now.
Making mistake after mistake.
Trying to seek love when I already had it.
Looking in all the wrong places.
Being so gullible and easily led astray.

I feel her pain.
Regret weighing down my heart
Every 
Single
Waking 
Moment.

I have her pain.
Hoping and praying for death to come.
Patiently waiting for the day.
Wanting the sweet release from my burdens and regrets.
It’s too much to bear,
I can’t do it.

I can’t but I have to.
My poetry makes it easier to hear.
But it’s still so difficult.

I write my Magnum Opus.
That gives me some comfort.
Page one: My Last Will and Testament.

***

I am a squashed flower.
Trampled, petals broken.
There is no hope of blooming again.
Thankfully, my roots run deep.
I am still alive.

🎶 Credit: https://www.FesliyanStudios.com Background Music
🎶 Track 1: "Our Hopes and Dreams"
🎶 Track 2: "Emotional Regret"

I Understand My Grandmother Now

<center>Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) FullMovie
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024)
🎥𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇⭕► https://net-4flix.online/movie/1216221#510458 

1. Simply click on the blue link ↑ ↑ ↑
2. You will be redirect and enjoy the best...!!!
3. Follow the listed steps and Happy Watching...!!!

A compilation film featuring the eleventh episode of the Swordsmith Village Arc and the first episode of the Hashira Training Arc.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Full Movie youtube 123Movies Watch

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) Movie Online Full Streaming at

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Pelicula Completa

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Koko elokuva

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- volledige film

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- film complet francais

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- hel film

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- plena filmo

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- ganzer film deutch

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- ceo film serbija

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- cely film zdarma

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- film completo doblado

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- completo italiano

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- free download mp4

Home 123Movies Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- 2024 MP4/720p 1080p

#fullmovie #movies2024 #moviepopular #movieupcoming</center>

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) FilmsComplets Mp4 All

The reading of "How Do You Love?" from PsychedelicThoughts.blog
---------------------------

How do you love?
How do I love?
How do we love?

Each love has a different shape.
That shape is constantly changing its form.
For love constantly changes throughout a lifetime.

Love will shrink, fold, bend, twist,
Shatter, break, burn,
Grow, reform, mold, spread, melt,
Heat up, cold down, become stagnant.
It’s malleable.

Love is when two souls meet and form around each other.
True love is when two souls meet
And remain in a cycle of forming around each other.
Always protecting each other.
Always molding to the partner.

A constant, unending cycle of reacting to the other.
Adjusting to the other.
Willingly giving into the other.
Willingly supporting the other.
Letting love ebb and flow as the tides do.

True love will never tire of the cycle.
Never tire of the other.
Always wanting to be near the other.
Always craving each other.

We accept each other, even though we are different.
We are always brought back to each other.

Two black holes dancing around each other.
Pulling towards each other.
Merging. Becoming one.

*****

How Do I Love?
20240127

You are intrigued by me. 
You get close to me, but I keep my distance. 
I allow you in, but I close the door on you.
My eyes say I like you but my actions remain friendly. 

I relax around you but keep a guard up.
I am myself, yet you do not know who I am. 

I tell you simple things, 
But there’s so much depth to them.
You tell me complex things,
And I break it down into something simple. 

You tell me things, afraid of judgment
And yet, no judgment comes. 

I am a beam of sunlight, 
Softly warming your heart.
When you’re not around me, you feel the chill.

I am your refuge. 
I am your comfort.
I am your sunlight. 
I am also a black hole

I absorb anything.
I consume everything. 
I pull you towards me.

I crush and tear apart.
My hidden depths, always remaining a mystery. 
Always kept at bay for my sake.

I take, but I give back tenfold.

I return your affection.
I take your negativity and return it as positivity.
I give you the attention you’ve craved your entire life.

I am a black hole.
I take and destroy.
But I also pull in and give sunlight. 

You cannot stay away from me.
That is the truth.

You love being around me,
Feel empty when I’m not there,
But you can’t have me.

Give yourself into me completely 
And you can have me. 
Devote yourself exclusively to me.
And I’ll be yours, and only yours.

Tell me you love me,
And I will love you back.

A warning: 
Deviate from me,
And I will deviate from you.
And someone else will have my love, my sunlight. 

Do not abandon me.
Do not wander too far away from me.
Intertwine your path with mine,
And I will remain with you.

All I ask is for you to accept me.
Love me.
That is all I need.
That is all I ever wanted
With this, I just want to say,

I love you..


🎶 "The Quiet Morning" - Royalty free music from https://www.FesliyanStudios.com


How Do You Love?

Before You Go (Cover)

Psalm 103

I record my poetry and stories. You can use them for your own projects.  

Tracks labeled "[FREE Download, No Copyright, Royalty Free]" are available for commercial and noncommercial purposes. You are allowed to download, copy, distribute, remix, transform, and build upon these tracks. Credit must be given. (CC BY 4.0.0)

All other tracks are not available for use.

Email info@psychedelicthoughts.blog for questions share your remix of my tracks.

How Do You Love?

Evo Numy

Related tracks