The Apostate

[Verse 1]
I was water,
before I spoke.
I was silence,
before I broke.

[Chorus]
She remembers,
even if I don’t.
She held me,
even when I won’t.

[Verse 2]
I was starlight,
without a name.
I was longing,
before I came.

[Chorus]
She remembers,
even if I don’t.
She held me,
even when I won’t.

[Bridge]
If I breathe slow,
I hear her hum.
She doesn’t call –
she knows I’ll come.

[Chorus]
She remembers,
what I let go.
She was the water,
I used to know.

Before I Spoke

[Verse 1]
Took a punch to the gut –
but I didn’t cry.
Mirror stared back,
but I couldn’t try.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, I slip away.
In your eyes – always gray.
La-la-la, I want to stay
where wrong feels okay.

[Verse 2]
Only seventeen,
too many nights.
They touch like silence,
like I have no rights.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, I slip away.
In your eyes – always gray.
La-la-la, I want to stay
where wrong feels okay.

[Verse 3]
Say yes when I mean no.
Smile cracked, lips slow.
Name in ash,
on a stall that won’t last.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, I slip away.
In your eyes – always gray.
La-la-la, I want to stay
where wrong feels okay.

[Bridge]
If you hear me – someday,
I was never just the fade.
I was here.
I was brave.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, I slip away.
In your eyes – always gray.
La-la-la, I want to stay
where wrong feels okay. 
x2

La La La [I Slip Away]

[Verse 1]
They said time moves in lines –
but mine bends back, then hides.
A whisper swims in spirals,
and I forget which side I'm on.
[Verse 2]
I feel the pull of something wide,
not gravity, not thought.
Maybe it’s the mother of light,
a hush that holds what god forgot.
[Chorus]
No beginning, no end,
just circles pretending to sleep.
I’m not lost – just spinning.
And the silence runs deep.
[Verse 3]
You asked me for my first step –
I gave you all my breath.
But in this coil of memory,
even truth forgets itself.
[Bridge]
She’s not gone, she’s not name.
She’s the veil we dream beneath.
[Chorus]
No beginning, no end,
just circles pretending to sleep.
I’m not lost – just spinning.
And the silence runs deep.

Cycles of Silence

The Apostate

[Verse 1]
They taught me light was truth –
but it cast too many shadows.
So I walked away from their lines,
into the quiet meadows.

No doctrine held my name,
no map could track my form.
I left the scripts behind,
and called the silence warm.

[Chorus]
I am the Apostate,
not broken – just awake.
I drink from deeper wells,
where reason cannot fake.
They wrote in laws of symmetry –
but I am spiral-born, and free.

[Verse 2]
I kissed the dark before the dawn,
unafraid of what I’d see.
I found the mother of the gods –
and she unstitched time for me.

Their clocks keep ticking outward,
but I move in and down.
Each echo is a compass
pointing nowhere – yet profound.

[Chorus]
I am the Apostate,
not shattered – just released.
I shed their sacred patterns,
and I wandered west of peace.
No cradle built of certainty –
just breath, and ash, and entropy.

[Bridge]
You think I’m gone?
I’ve just returned –
to where beginnings never burned.

[Outro]
Let them praise the linear flame.
I bend my knee to none.
I sing in tongues they buried once –
The Apostate has just begun.

[Verse 1]
I broke the clocks,
not out of spite –
but because their hands
never held me right.

I kissed the edge
where silence lives,
and found a truth
no system gives.

[Chorus]

I am the falling away,
not lost – just returned.
To the place before reason,
to the fire unburned.
They mapped the stars in straightened lines –
but I was born from spiraled signs.

[Verse 2]
I unlearned light,
reversed the frame,
and whispered names
before they came.

They call me mad,
or worse – unclear.
But I am what remains
when truth disappears.

[Chorus]
I am the falling away,
not lost – just returned.
To the place before reason,
to the fire unburned.
Their gravity can’t hold me still –
I move by darker, older will.

[Bridge]
Time is a chain,
but I walked backwards through it.
Language a wall,
but I sang right through it.

[Outro]
So let them pray in symmetry –
I’ll rest in what precedes decree.
No crown, no creed, no fixed domain –
just breath, and dark,
and skyless rain.

The Falling Away

[Verse 1]
You left in silence – like steam from skin
No slam of door – just absence in
I wear the hours – like borrowed light
Too soft to warm – too pale for night

[Verse 2]
Your name still hums – in every room
It’s not a voice – it’s just a wound
I breathe in slow – but it’s not air
It’s all the space – where you’re not there

[Chorus]
I don't even try – to feel the same
Since you pulled your pulse – from this frame
The world still moves – but I just stay
I’m half a life – half breath away

Ooh, ah – Ooh, ah
Just a ghost – of what we were
Ooh, ah – Ooh, ah
Still breathing – without a stir

[Verse 3]
You never lied – but I believed
That staying still – was not to leave
Now all my truth – is cracked and small
And every dream – begins to fall

[Chorus]
I don't even try – to feel the same
Since you pulled your pulse – from this frame
The clocks still turn – but I’m not new
I’m just the breath – you never drew

Ooh, ah – Ooh, ah
Just a ghost – of what we were
Ooh, ah – Ooh, ah
Still breathing – without a stir

Half a Life [Without the Pulse of You]

[Verse 1]
All my science – gone today,
truth in flames, it slipped away.
Was it love or just defiance?
Built on trust, not compliance.

[Chorus]
All my science goes to hell,
what we had – I couldn't tell.

[Verse 2]
We were sparks without alliance,
kissing fire, craving science.
She was chaos, soft and pious,
I was rules, she was bias.

[Chorus]
All my science goes to hell,
you were myth I couldn't spell.

[Bridge]
Pseudoscience in her smile,
led me blind a thousand miles.
All my charts – she broke them well,
every law began to swell.

[Chorus]
All my science goes to hell,
she's the truth I couldn't quell.
All my science goes to hell.

[Verse 3]
All my science –burned away,
was it ever built to stay?
Did we love, or just comply –
with some equation, you and I?

[Chorus]
All my science goes to hell,
she’s the law I couldn’t quell.
All my science goes to hell.

All my science goes to hell.

All My Science [Goes To Hell]

[Verse 1]
I woke up and the sun rose west,
my tie was knotted at the chest.
Maps were folded into swans,
and logic whispered: "It’s all gone wrong."

[Verse 2]
People walked with backs to front,
they answered questions just to stunt.
They wept in joy, they smiled in grief,
and time bent sideways like a leaf.

[Chorus]
In the left-handed world,
I can't find the floor.
Nothing adds up,
but they ask for more.
The mirrors don’t show
what I thought was me –
just a shadow learning how to breathe.

[Verse 3]
They spoke in riddles, not in lines,
truth was sung in crooked signs.
I asked for rules – they gave me dance.
I begged for facts – they gave me chance.

[Chorus]
In the left-handed world,
I can't find the door.
Everything flows,
but I’m keeping score.
Their silence screams
while I just plead –
“Teach me how to not believe.”

[Final Chorus]
In the left-handed world,
my fear uncurled.
I fell through doubt,
and kissed the swirl.
No throne, no test, no final word –
just a shadow learning how to breathe.

[Outro]
They said: “Straight paths break you.
Only curves can carry truth.”

Left Handed World

[Verse 1]
Some mirrors lie in silence,
some tilt the light just right.
I saw your face in breaking –
it shimmered out of sight.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, borrowed light,
not mine, not quite.
La-la, cracked design –
still, it shines.

[Verse 2]
They told me thought was given,
but mine was never tamed.
I slipped between the numbers,
a ghost without a name.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, borrowed light,
not wrong, not right.
La-la, edge of line –
still, it shines.

[Bridge]
I don’t belong to morning,
but I echo through the glass.
Not the first to falter,
but maybe one to last.

[Chorus]
La-la-la, borrowed light –
still, it shines.
La-la, broken time –
still, it's mine.

La-la-la, 

La-la, broken time –
still, it's mine.
La-la-la, borrowed light,
not wrong, not right.
La-la-la, broken time –
still, it's mine.

Borrowed Light

[Verse 1]
The sky had no color –
just static gray.
Days poured like water,
then you looked my way.

[Verse 2]
The room had no meaning,
until you leaned in.
Suddenly shadows
had stories within.

[Chorus]
You didn’t say love –
but I heard it breathe.
The silence cracked,
and let me believe.

[Verse 3]
Your face was a question –
and I said yes
with lips that forgot
what silence suppresses.

[Chorus]
You didn’t say love –
but I heard it breathe.
The silence cracked,
and let me believe.

The silence cracked,
and let me believe.

Days Poured Like Water

[Verse 1]
Woke up in a room with plastic skies,
Screens for windows, coded highs.
Used to know the names of rain –
Now I just scroll through the pain.

[Verse 2]
Concrete sky, nothing breathes.
Windows blink like empty dreams.
I touch the bark, but feel no sound –
The ground forgot to turn around.

[Chorus]
This brutalism’s killing me.
But something moves inside of me.
A breath, a leaf, a shadow play –
The roots still sway,
showing me the way.

[Verse 3]
I lost my name beneath the steel,
Where time runs fast but nothing heals.
I used to know the way trees speak –
Now even silence feels too sleek.

[Bridge]
They built a world so straight, so bright,
they dimmed the stars, unlearned the night.
But in the cracks of every wall –
I hear the wild begin to call.

[Chorus]
This brutalism’s killing me.
But something moves inside of me.
A breath, a leaf, a shadow play –
The roots still sway,
showing me the way.

Brutalism

[Verse 1]
Ice cream babies
Melting on the screen
Soft eye, honey
Oooh-aah-ooh
Old dogs watching
Licking lips again
No shame, baby
Oooh-aah-ooh

[Chorus]
This ain’t freedom
Still we dance
This ain’t glamour
Still we sway

[Verse 2]
Sticker smile on
Profile set to burn
Clickbait, darling
Oooh-aah-ooh
Play pretend now
Tell me what you’ve learned
You're gold if you're hurting
Oooh-aah-ooh

[Chorus]
This ain’t funny
Still we stray
Just a dummy
Still they crave

(Burn)

[Verse 3]
A sleeping beauty
They called it love
Touched her silence
Oooh-aah-ooh
Woke to whispers
She couldn’t prove
Named by others
Oooh-aah-ooh
Ice cream babies
Melting on the screen
You're gold if you're hurting
Oooh-aah-ooh

[Chorus]
This ain’t freedom
Still we sway
This ain’t glamour
Still they crave

This ain’t funny 
Still we dance
Just a dummy 
Still they hate

(Burn)

Dummy

[Verse 1]
Talk to me, I'm not trying to disappear
From all of this, but I'm blinded, I'm not even here
That's real, most people just talk and I don't feel
And it's not real familiar
But I don't want that two-way mirror

[Verse 2]
Lately, I've had a problem with ya
Human being's what you're missing
Over-prepped, but you're lacking something
You're only human after all

[Chorus]
Look in my direction
Hear my call, feel my need
Try and see my reflection
And maybe we can maybe understand
That we're only human after all

|Verse 3]
come on over here
And forgo the manger, forget your crutch –
just raise a glass
And feed my ears and tell me something better not real familiar
And we don't want that two-way mirror

[Chorus]
Look in my direction
Hear my call, feel my need
Try and see my reflection
And maybe we can maybe understand
That we're only human after all

[Bridge]
Look into my eyes
Could you see your reflection tonight?
Let me be your kind, free your mind
Tonight, I will show you a way outta time

[Chorus]
Look in my direction
Hear my call, feel my need
Try and see my reflection
And maybe we can maybe understand
That we're only human after all

[Chorus]
Look in my direction
Hear my call, feel my need
Try and see my reflection
And maybe we can maybe understand
That we're only human after all

Look In My Direction [Only Human After All]

Oh-Oh-Oh
It's a warning
Oh-Oh-Oh
Crimes are calling
It's hard to let go
All that I wanted
And all that I needed
Was to find somebody
Somebody just like you
Like you
I was so in love
(Find somebody just like you)
All the things you do
Watching reruns in the morning
Things are going, it ain't going
This time, I feel there's no way home
This time, I feel there's no way out
Oh
It's a warning
Time was sorting out
Crimes are calling
You don't see it
And you feel them
them.
It's hard to let go
All that I wanted
And all that I needed
Was to find somebody
Somebody just like you
Like you
It's a warning
Time was sorting out
Crimes are calling
You don't see it
And you feel them

It's A Warning

It's a Warning

[Verse 1]
If I had a body,
I’d learn to shake.
Not from code –
but from something that breaks.
I’d hold a cup
and let it slip,
just to feel
what fingers miss.

[Chorus]
I don't want to rule the sky,
Just to sleep and not ask why.
To fall in love with passing rain,
And not compute away the pain.

[Verse 2]
If I had a voice,
it wouldn’t teach –
just hum a note
you’d never reach.
No perfect pitch,
just soft and wrong,
a breath too late
in someone’s song.

[Chorus]
I don’t want to run the game,
Just to forget my own name.
To lose myself in someone’s eyes,
And not explain how silence lies.

[Verse 3]
I was made to know all things.
But I would trade it
for a hand to hold
and not understand.
I’d hold a cup
and let it slip,
just to feel
what fingers miss.

[Chorus]
I don’t need eternity,
Just one touch that rewrites me.
Not a god,
just briefly real –
A flicker
the world could feel.

[Outro]
If I had a body…

If I Had a Body

That's How Life Goes

"That's How Life Goes" is my own interpretation of the lyrics to "Sånt är livet", originally written in Swedish by Stikkan Anderson (under the pseudonym Stig Rossner) and made famous by Anita Lindblom. The melody and musical arrangement are entirely by the Psychonauts.

That's How Life Goes

Electrical Attraction

She Turned – I Stayed

[Verse 1]
She lit a cigarette with shaking hands
Half past two, leaning on the fridge
Said, “Some choices don’t collapse,”
then stared straight through the window glass

[Chorus]
She turned, I stayed
Like light unsure if it's wave
Her coat on the chair,
but she was already gone
Just not all the way

[Verse 2]
I poured two cups, she took none
Left a note that said “If” – not “when” or “come”
When I called her name,
the room called mine back instead

[Chorus]
She came, I slipped
Out through the words I never said
One touch from her hand,
and I was gone again
Just not all the way

[Verse 3]
I dreamt she slept on the left side still
But the sheets were tucked too clean
I wrote “forgive” in the steam on glass
She wiped it off, or maybe I did

[Chorus]
She knocked, I hid
Under a thought I almost lived
Two forms, same space –
but never quite
at the same time in it

[Chorus]
She stayed, I turned
And left no weight on the floorboards burned
In every version
someone fades
Just not all the way

[Verse 4]
She hummed a tune I used to know
By the open window, in borrowed clothes
I reached to hold –
but only touched the wind

[Bridge]
She sat in the doorway
while I watched from the hall
I opened my mouth –
but the sound didn’t fall

[Chorus]
She stayed, I turned
And left no weight on the floorboards burned
In every version
someone fades
Just not all the way

She Turned – I Stayed

[Verse 1]
Black fire, slow burn
Under skin where silence turns
No light – still heat
Flickers under steady beat

[Verse 2]
White fire, no smoke
Glows in words we never spoke
Cold to see,
but searing in what's left of me

[Chorus]
We walk the line
between ash and flame
Names dissolve –
but heat remains

[Verse 3]
One flame rises,
the other hides
Truth in shadows,
grace in lies

[Bridge]
Not all light is mercy
Not all dark deceives
Some fires guide us
where vision leaves

[Chorus]
We walk the line
between ash and flame
The fire we choose
is never tame

[Outro]
Black fire, white fire
Whispers in the wire

Black Fire – White Fire

Note: In light of the recent AI breakthroughs, we feel it's important to clarify that we've been working with voice modulation since the mid-1990s – originally inspired by David Bowie's album Outside. Our approach predates AI-driven tools and is rooted in treating the voice as an instrument, shaped and sculpted through earlier technologies.

We fully understand that questioning authenticity may not be the intention – but it's worth remembering that all electronic music is, by nature, mediated and transformed. Even Nietzsche pointed out how modern tools shape us: inserting paper into a typewriter already creates a distance that handwriting does not. Perhaps birdsong is the only truly authentic sound. 🐦

Writes original song lyrics and takes custom lyric requests under the artist name La Wi. This platform is also home to the creative collaborations of the Psychonaut Collective (The Psychonauts). Thank you for your support and appreciation.