baby i remember #scenecore #hyperpop #digicore 

R3M$MBER ☆ prod. takuori!

BLADE ☆ prod. takuori

i dont wanna live like this anymore

why am i like this!!!!!!!!!

i don't want to live like this anymore. ☆ prod. fallenang3lx

i should kill myself feat syris

i miss you baby
you drive me crazy
ur so pretty that my mind is getting hazy
want ur blood on my lips
cmon just give me a kiss
u just fuckng shut me down
"yeah no ill see you around"

so u nvr respond and ur always fucking busy
if i pop a tit do u think that u would miss me

you said that you loved me,
guess that was a lie
but if this is the end
then why dont we fuck tonight?

sleep with me tonight ☆ feat. syris (igi)

pupsies + @1stress

i try and take this all the time
its just ive been with you so long
cmon, u dont really mean it
along the lines we just fell off..
carved a hole into my chest
baby u can cut the rest
but sometimes when im up real late
i think about my flesh u ate
i wonder if its me u hate
but i dont see hiw that cld be true
i knkw that ur just fed up
with everything that u have to do
u tell me u love me
then baby tell me why we fight
loving js means nothing to you
u keep me awake at night
crying allmy tears
wondering jf itll be alright
lets just stick it out
we can make up, we can make it right
u tell me u love me
then baby tell me why we fight
loving js means nothing to you
u keep me awake at night
crying allmy tears
wondering jf itll be alright
lets just stick it out
we can make up, we can make it right
(1stress part)
(repeat chorus)

I STILL LOVE YOU + 1stress (takuori) **ON SPOTIFY**

old song, diff version, kinda shit, idc i want to post it.. ill make better music later lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 

i hope you guys understand this..

d-d-dropped my pills all over the floor
all i wanted was for us to be something more
f-f-fuck me and taste me baby im yours
dropped all my pills, hey dont look, cus im on all fours

lift up my skirt, it wont hurt, im doing this for you
so take the chance, i wont scream, i wont kick or move
yeah you would, like they say, if you really want to
you can look, you can touch, do what you wanna do

i dont care all i ever wanted was to be loved
no matter what the fuck i do it never seems like enough
so take your chance, please just prove that someone wants some of me
i dont care if you only want my fucking body

all the pervs, in my screen, they cant stop riding my cock
now that we're here, i dont know why you decided to stop
i dropped my pills, got on my knees, and starting picking them up
and you just stared, stared at me, like u didnt give a fuck

dropped my pills
i guess im a fuckin clutz
you cant take a hint
id rather u just take out my guts

dropped my pills
i guess im a fuckin clutz
you cant take a hint
id rather u just take out my guts

lift up my skirt, it wont hurt, im doing this for you
so take the chance, i wont scream, i wont kick or move
yeah you would, like they say, if you really want to
you can look, you can touch, do what you wanna do

i dont care all i ever wanted was to be loved
no matter what the fuck i do it never seems like enough
so take your chance, please just prove that someone wants some of me
i dont care if you only want my fucking body

klutz!!!!!! (prod. rebzyyx)

idk another shitty song i made really quick cus i neededa distraction from my feelings
i feel like giving up every day im starting to hate listening to my own music

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ufck ufck fuck fuck u fckfuck fuck oh my god, 

fcukc fuck fuck fuck fuck ufkc i give up 


holy shit this hurts so bad
i cant stop
shaking and
my teeth hurt
cus they wont stop
chattering
im not cold

its all you
makes me feel
so unreal
somwone kill me
someone please
cant even really
make good lyrics
whatd i just say?

try to rhyme
its all jumbled
in my head
my hearts crumbled
cant stop shaking
i cant type
i cant cut
i cant fight
no i cant move one damn inch

i knew it the whole damn time
all u do is fucking lie
god i hope u fucking die
FUCKING DIE FUCKING DIE FUCKING DIE
just fucking die

end ur fucking life!!!!! (prod. fallen ang3lx)

i always go back
its ok you can laugh
cus i know how this ends
but i need one more chance
please just stay, hold my hand
its the one thing i lack

so i always go back
yeah i always go back
yeah i-

yeah i always go back
so i always go back
yeah i always go back
i always go back
i-

go- go- go- go- go- go
ba-a-a-ack (x4)

I could never let go (prod. pupsies)

lmk if u guys vant on all plats >_<

#Nihil

@iamsodead -
Call me on my cellphone tell me why we gotta stop??
I’m never gonna let it go cuz I’m feelin so stuck:/
Tell me what you need cuz I’m never gonna give up
T-t-tell me what you need cuz I’m never gonna give up

pupsies -
only wanna give u love
only wanna b enough
u tell me its js too tuff
guess i caught u on ur bluff

only wanna give u love
boy u got me crying tears
wondering why ur not here
i js wanna disappear

i needed you, all the fucking time
but you hung up every night
u were never by my side
boy js say ill be alright

and ill give u all my love
and ill kiss u all the time
yea ill kiss u all the time

..

cus i-

tell me !!! + iamsodead (prod. iamsodead)

emfl bro sry for making cringe

ahhh

when i turn 18, im gna fucking die
i made a plan this time ill try
gonna do this fucking right

gonna make sure that its peaceful
cus im just a fucking coward
cus i looked it up online
only took me like an hour

yea i havent yet decided 
will i do it with a mask
but i know im fucking broke
so ill prolly take the bag

did u know that u can breathe
nd you dont have to be scared
jsut make sure that its airtight
or ull just end up impaired

cus my life is not that bad
but i always wanna die
and if i dont do it now
ill do it later in life

cus my suicides all i can see when i look with my eyes into my future, its just fantasy - thinking ill survive...

when i turn 18, im gna fucking die
i made a plan this time ill try
gonna do this fucking right

when i turn 18, im gna fucking die
i made a plan this time ill try
gonna do this fucking right

im a fucking coward and im selfish like they say but i cant handle the pain cus its driving me insane

and i know that yall might mourn me but i know that youll forget, 
cus life never ever stops, 
no matter how bad it gets, 

u can try to tell me different 
but i know my fucking fate,
 ill just end up in the ground, 
yeah its no fucking debate.

when i turn 18, im gna fucking die
i made a plan this time ill try
gonna do this fucking right

when i turn 18, im gna fucking die
i made a plan this time ill try
gonna do this fucking right

so when i turn 18,
im gonna fucking die
im gonna end my life
so baby, please dont cry.

exit bag <3 (takuori)

bru i made some unlistenable loud ass shit bro i just needed more stimulation in my ear drums so now u can all suffer the same fate i did making this 
p.s im probably gonna delete this


lyr. (my w key is broken and i didnt copy paste it sorry)
SO I FEEL FUCKING DONE 
YEA JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE
YEA I TRY NOT TO GEET ANGRY
THINK ILL DO IT ANYVAY

SOMETIMES THINK ILL RAISE M YVOCIE
BUT I DONT KNOV VHAT ID SAY
SPILL MY HEART OUT ON THE FLOOR
GOD I AVNNA MAKE U PAY.

i need you here tonight
but i also vish youd die
sometimes i vish id yell
soemtimes i vish that ve'd fight

sometimes i hurt so much that i cant help but think ur right...
maybe ve should break up so i can commit suicide! 

you dont -- even knov the half of --
everything im feeling --
looking at the ceiling

thinking that ill die today, 
asking if this is okay, 
do i even really vant 
things to keep being this vay?

rip out my heart
u tear me apart

tell me vhy you
alvays gotta make it hard

if you really 
didnt vanna be vith me
you could tell the from start
u dont gotta play the part.

u tell me ur not good, no ur no good for my mental
but u say that its my choice
vell its funny cus im mentally
not alvays on my best
on my best fucking behavior
yea i stopped cutting my vrists
but youre still the one i vait for

i need you here tonight
but i also vish youd die
sometimes i vish id yell
soemtimes i vish that ve'd fight

sometimes i hurt so much that i cant help but think ur right...
maybe ve should break up so i can commit suicide! 

but if im telling the truth
and i'm not telling a lie
i just feel so alone
i only wanted you by my side...

fightingw/uuu (prod. fallenang3lx)

EDIT: had to reupload because the mix needed to be fixed. this should be up on spotify as soon as i can get paid T^T
---
my two producer goats collabbing...... i have loved you since the start......... blessings to u both.....

omg i need to stop putting so much high end and shit idk wht im doing sry i just turn the end of the eq up XXXXXXX
...
btw guys jsyk. im a nonchalant dreadhead so :/ this aint that #serious, see my feelings are an electric guitar with wings, i use amplifier for electric guitar with wings (feelings) and then it makes music that i play on the guitar get it??
HAPPY THANKSGIVING BY THE WAY! im thankful for my mom, being able to make music, having food on the table, and of course having such lovely people to be surrounded by who support me and that i can share music with :') REMEMBER THIS!!! IM THANKFUL FOR YOU!!! :D
have a lovely night everyone <3 sweet dreams!
--

whats it mean
is it fair
do you see me anywhere
do you see it as a mistake
that we ever took it there

whats it mean
is it fair
do you see me anywhere
do you see it as a mistake
that we ever took it there

i go about my day just fine
living life, talking online
go to school and go to work
and you’re never on my mind

yeah i lied

cus you creep up in my thoughts and tear me down from the inside
but i know its not your fault

do you look back on our love
are you finally liberated
learning lessons from our time together, now we’re separated

and its fine, yeah its good
theres no need
to cling on
the ideal love we created, it could never be enough

soulmates?
i know you won’t think that
when you look back on the past
you can call it codependence
guess it wasn’t meant to last

wish i never dragged it on
holding hope that i was wrong
i wanna say our love was pure
but you don’t even need that closure

whats it mean
is it fair
do you see me anywhere
do you see it as a mistake
that we ever took it there

whats it mean
is it fair
do you see me anywhere
do you see it as a mistake
that we ever took it there

i’m the only one
always been emotional and all that
see you everywhere
probably need a new pair of glasses

whats it mean
is it fair
do you see me anywhere
do you see it as a mistake
that we ever took it there

whats it mean
is it fair
do you see me anywhere
do you see it as a mistake
that we ever took it there

soultied (takuori + greyrock)

mix by the goat... 1stress my goat... !! (lyrics under read more)

this is NOT a joke! also sorry for being too broke to use a pop filter and too lazy to rerecord lines on my shitposts...!! :D i did this on my moms computer on bandlab originally </3 i had a time limit bro...

i made this months ago but now i have a good reason to release it and make sure to put the nail in the coffin ^_^ (abt 4-5 months ago so around december)

i'm not doing much else and theres no name dropping or nothing. dw @sk1ts said its a fire diss on him! :) already heard it so it doesnt hurt to drop for the fun of it :p (sry for saying inside twice)

lyrics!!
----
F-F-F-FUUUUUCK THESE GAY UNDERGROUND SOUNDCLOUD MOTHER FUCKERSSSS
K-K-K-K-KILL YOURSELF!!!

yea i think i’m gonna take over your genre
fuck your dumb ass album
post that shit with my name on it cus u get no motion
promotion 
carried u on ur own song and you don’t even know it!

yea, go on and put that work in
got ur little boyfriend 
featuring on all ur songs cus u just cant let go of him
ur toxic
ur so sick
just in case that you forgot today
you should take ur meds!

oh my god i’m sorry! how could i say all this shit bout you!?
u should just be glad that i don’t expose all ur bullshit too

when u join a voice chat u get clowned on!
lookin like a moron
sit there like a dog and take it like a bitch, ironic
that whole shtick was my thing
think i do it better!
its ok though u can pretend, ill be ur trendsetter <3

wouldn’t wanna leak things
wouldn’t wanna shame you
wouldn’t wanna make a promise—break ur trust
like you do!

yea so what i’m clingy and attached and that was my fault
don’t act like u don’t need me the same 
cus if you didn’t

wouldn’t come up in my space and beg me to unblock u
“but we made a promise!” 
clearly those don’t mean a thing, 
u just want ur life line by your side
who will be there when you die?
do you really think that all these people will, cmon don’t lie. 
u can ask them
every single one of them will just deny
but you know the truth
yea you feel that shit deep down inside

but whatever you don’t cry
you just move on forward
for better or for worse

all that mumble rap u do?
that will never really hide
all ur fucking mistakes
and the shitty way you feel inside

keep on waxing poetry about the drugs you like to take
u know what those did to u 
you still do it anyway
i don’t care
my mistake
what a waste
of my time—asking you to be more careful
whatever, you’re just online

 …

fine, live in delusion
get fucked up with your friends
work yourself to death
and get your life together, cant wait
maybe the next girl u meet—might be more naive than me
u can fuck her over all the time and she can suck ur meat
“she’s a freak”
yea thats neat… 
go on and brag to ur friends
if i rode dick like u did 
id get STD’s to spread… 

u can go to my friends and act like u care, 
like theres something really there, 
like you weren’t just tired of me, 
like u thought that u were fair

“this is for her mental health”
look inside a fucking mirror

i bet even if you did
you wouldn’t recognize yourself
scared of your reflection
who you really are
go to hell.

-----

i dont know what makes it so hard to love me, to care abt me or give me time of day
im really gonna die alone at this point. its ok though, at least ill be dead right!

D.A.R.E

lol. dont even begin to think ill forgive you

im a pretty angel
and u wanna pluck my wings
if i knew any better
i would shoot u, watch u bleed
i would do the world a favor, rid it of all of ur shit
fuck these lying fucking dicks
rot to death inside a ditch
all of you are interlinked
and i will get my revenge
but i still want to be good
dug my feet into the sand
do u all just love to hurt me tell me what im doing wrong, i know i walk into all this shit when i feel so alone
its always fucking mentors and its always those adults
always people that you trust
i will cover you in dirt
you dont get a fucking grave
i will smile in your face 
an angel splattered with blood
im a savior, i am love

im a pretty angel
and u wanna pluck my wings
once i get the confidence
ill kill you in your sleep

look you doubled up my pain, now you both just remind me
of the hurt and all the pain
but its really all okay

you dont matter anyway
go away. just go away
when i think about it 
i can see it 
and its so disgusting 
never ever show me something 
anything like that again. 

i have seen it all so much
but it hurts cus it was you.
now the one person i loved 
prolly thinks it was on purpose 
i bet he thinks that im gross
that he dodged a fucking bullet

GOD I HATE YOU FUCKING PEOPLE
AND I TRY TO BE SO GOOD
WHATS THE POINT OF SPREADING LOVE
WHEN YOU PEOPLE EAT IT UP

GOUGE YOURSELVES LIKE FUCKING GLUTTONS
YOURE A PIG, GET IN YOUR PEN
DOES IT MAKE YOU ALL REAL HAPPY?
PULLING ANGELS FROM HEAVEN?

every one is such a pervert
someone tell me to shut up!
go ahead and leak my shit
        go ahead and say
“itll be our little se-cret!”

youre so selfish 
im so stupid
but i just want to believe
that when you were nice to me
that you were never like them 
and you told me that was nasty 
and you said that they were bad 
but when i was vulnerable 
u just took all that shit back

im a pretty angel
and u wanna pluck my wings
if i knew any better
i would shoot u, watch u bleed
i would do the world a favor, 
rid it of all of ur shit
fuck these lying fucking dicks
rot to death inside a ditch

im a pretty angel
and u wanna pluck my wings
if i knew any better
i would shoot u, watch u bleed
i would do the world a favor, 
rid it of all of ur shit
fuck these lying fucking dicks
rot to death inside a ditch

its always fucking mentors and its always those adults
always people that you trust
i will cover you in dirt
you dont get a fucking grave
i will smile in your face 
an angel splattered with blood
im a savior, i am love

all of you are interlinked
and i will get my revenge
but i still want to be good
dug my feet into the sand
do u all just love to hurt me tell me what im doing wrong, i know i walk into all this shit when i feel so alone

pretty angel !! (pipebomb)

cover art cred: fruitx2777
/// lyrics and updates ///
yea listen i got on my brothers pc and downloaded fl studio and nexus and serum and i made my first shitty beat ive made in a few months so erm yea here.

idk i feel like this is mid but i like some parts a lot lol doesnt live up to my vision tho

update: i deleted my insta btw cus creepers and im paranoid and stuff.. but again im on sc if u need to reach out. if ur a supa cool artist just dm me here i still am thinking of doing collabs later on after i settle in from moving out
---

you dont know the pain
you dont know the pain

curves and all my hair and brain
even if i held my weight
i know im a 
dumb girl who wont listen
its an average day, feeling sickness in my system

its an average day, feeling sickness in my system
its an average day, feeling sickness in my system
even if i bled out i know you still wouldnt listen
i know im a dumb girl
i know cus i miss him

its an average day, feeling sickness in my system
its an average day, feeling sickness in my system
even if i bled out i know you still wouldnt listen
i know im a dumb girl
i know cus i miss him

all you ever wanna do is tell me what i wanna hear
i know that you all get off on watching my tears disappear
soaking in the fabric of your shirt i lay my head against
you all love me in a trance
you all love to make me dance

i know im a dumb bitch and i prolly wouldnt be so hurt
if i put my foot down
if i buried myself in the dirt

do i have to kill myself
to keep me safe
from all of you

its always the same excuses
no matter the things i do

…
i know im a dumb girl
i know im a dumb bitch
i know im a dumb girl
i know im a dumb bitch
i know im a dumb girl
tell me im a dumb bitch
i know im a dumb girl
...

youre a sick freak all the way down from head and to your toes
slimy nasty tar and black
thats the shit that fills ur soul

i know that ur watching me
i see your shadow all the time
following behind my footsteps
tripping my feet 
dragged inside

beat my face in
dig your claws
i know that you like the blood
lick that shit right off my face
you just cant forget the taste

i will sit there pretty
cus i always wished to be a doll
you can call me angel
oh how purity falls down from God

youre a greedy glutton
and i hope i plant my seeds inside
i hope one day you all see the tiny flicker in my eye
i hope you remember the cost of your fun and entertainment
im so gullible and naive
but i know thats my mistake and

HHYYYAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

its an average day, feeling sickness in my system
its an average day, feeling sickness in my system
even if i bled out i know you still wouldnt listen
i know im a dumb girl
i know cus i miss him

i know im a dumb girl

i know im a dumb girl
i know cus i miss him

i know im a dumb girl
i know im a dumb girl
i knew you wouldnt listen.

dumb girl. (prod pupsies)

scenecore soon... i promise...
(i am lying.. ok no im not.. just give m time... must re record)
whats the point of having friends?
so you tell them bout your problems?
no i never did fit in 
but i know that its my fault
but i don’t really give a damn
cus u bitches weird as fuck
turn around and spread whatever that u heard about the other

use your brain
is it in there?
cus u walk weird and u talk dumb
i would make some metaphor but there’s nothing else to say
it’s as simple as can be
u don’t even really know me
if u wanna get under my skin
then maybe u should cut me

ur so sensitive 
ur mommy and ur daddy said
ur the best thing in the world
ur the best thing since sliced bread
u let it get to ur head
welcome to the real world

do you like the way it tastes
i really hope this hurts!


——

i don’t think ill ever have it the same way that they do
yea i talk shit to myself and say that they’re annoying but they have everything that i felt and that i always seemed to lack
guess its jealousy
but what i am supposed to do with that

i am see through
i get scared
if you say you like my hair
u can shut up 
i know that youre lying
dumb bitch dumb face
please stop smiling

don’t whisper around me 
and don’t laugh
don’t make a move

i’m so sick of everybody 
talking about who i am
i thought that i changed 
at night awake
i remember 
i can’t

i thought that i changed 
at night awake
i remember 
i can’t

does the past haunt you
it won’t leave me
don’t think i have a chance

can we escape from our nightmares
if we keep walking through them

 
i imagine all the things id say and all the things id do
i would stand up for myself
i would tell u hey im cool
i would laugh loud
i would take up space
id light up every room
i would make you cower
like the sun does
when facing the moon 


but at the end of the day
where am i and where are you?
i am still facing the dry wall
waiting for somebody to call

i get lonely
and i tell myself
‘i don’t wanna go back’
‘i’m just thinking of it now
…cus its just a distraction’

ok bitch then why u crying?
why you wiping at your eyes
fuck u bitch i hope you die
you’re so dumb go get a life

i am see through
i get scared
if you say you like my hair
u can shut up 
i know that youre lying
dumb bitch dumb face
please stop smiling

don’t whisper around me 
and don’t laugh
don’t make a move

i am so sick of everybody 
talking about who i am

i thought that i changed 
at night awake
i remember 
i can’t

i thought that i changed 
at night awake
i remember 
i can’t

does the past haunt you
it won’t leave me
don’t think i have a chance

can we escape from our nightmares
if we keep walking through them

i thought that i changed 
at night awake
i remember 
i can’t 


i remember 
i can’t 



distractions (di4umi x zeromandia x maryy)

guys i have new grills jsyk so if im lisping its my new 14k gold grills
-
ooohhh 
ahhh

it was just another summer night
you were by my side
telling me id be alright
i remember that you held my hand
and then you wiped my tears
in the moonlight
almost reached your lips
but i held back in fear

i still feel the distance now
the way your fingers ghosted my mouth
the look inside your eyes that glimmered
thinking, how’d we end up bitter?

i still feel the distance now
the way your fingers ghosted my mouth
the look inside your eyes that glimmered
thinking, how’d we end up bitter?

was it all the times
that i came to you in red
with my arms stained, dripping then
asked you if you even cared

even though i know you did
couldn’t help it, being scared
all my life ive been a no one
but then one day, you were there

inside of your arms
you could do no harm
i would be okay
just wanted to stay

stay with you forever
so we’d always be together
but that night under the stars you made it clear what we are

i still feel the distance now
i wish that i’d opened my mouth
and told you what you mean to me
but if i did, would you believe it?

i still feel the distance now
the way your fingers ghosted my mouth
the look inside your eyes that glimmered
thinking how’d we  end up bitter?

i still feel the distance now
the way your fingers ghosted my mouth
the look inside your eyes that glimmered
tell me, how’d we end up bitter?


so bitter... (fallenang3lx)

@conner_michel prodded the beat :)
mix n master by me sry i tried my best i did new stuff w my vocals o(u_u;)
cover art: idk bro someone pls tell me.. i wont use it on spotify ^^; unleess i edit it and a bunch of other stuff

give me a fucking break
give me a fucking break
[glitching] give me a fucking break

give me a fucking break
u just take
when u want some

what am i really worth to you 
nothing no one 
what do i do

speak ur mind
out loud and to my face

over text, is just a waste.

ur not real
im okay

imagination makes my day!

read your words
blushing red

you’re the only one to mend
mend my broken heart

fix me - hate me - kiss my scars
apologize when its hard

and when i wanna fucking die
u leave me discarded

parted
my lips
whenever you want a kiss
shut me up
what the fuck
will it ever be enough?

shut me up
what the fuck
will it ever be enough?

just-
just-
just-

give me a fucking break
give me a fucking break
give me a fucking break
what else will it take?

what am i really worth to you
nothing no one 
what do i do

speak ur mind
out loud and to my face

over text, is just a waste.

ur not real
im okay

im okay 
im okay
im okay!
im okay

speaking in my ear
saying what i wanna hear
its so loud
in the quiet
keep it silent
so i hear your whispers
and i know you’re talking shit about me
telling me i’m fucking crazy
you don’t know me
no, bitch
you don’t know me.

ill get in your car
i don’t know 
where we’re going
take me on a ride
pop some pills
in the morning—
ill be by your side

won’t remember why
always fucking mourning
but i shouldn’t cry
cus its —

my fault!
tell me where i did it, where i went —
wrong!

give me a fucking break
u just take
when u want some

what am i really worth to you 
nothing no one 
what do i do

speak your mind
out loud and to my face

over text, is just a waste.

you’re not real
im okay

imagination makes my day!

read your words
blushing red

you’re the only one to mend
mend my broken heart

fix me hate me kiss my scars
apologize when its hard

and when i wanna fucking die
u leave me discard-ed

want some?
you just take when you want some
you just take when you want some
you just take when you want some

T4KE WHAT U W4NT

chill on me abt the singing i didnt use autotune so itd give a more 'raw' vibe
i debated posting this on main but, the instrumental i made meant a whole lot to me and i dont think anyone else might feel it as much as i do it prolly js sounds lame but adding lyrics n sum stuff made me feel like idk just back to what i felt like then bleh
--- lyrics ---

if i could id fly real high
make my way up to the sky
even when i want to die
its nice to have fun sometimes


 life can be such misery
i couldn’t move and couldn’t speak
i saw the darkness and my ceiling 
every day feel the same feelings
....
i think now i understand
that when your soul is hollow and
all you can think about is death
don’t be surprised when you are left

so now i know i’m gonna die
i throw my flag, i wipe my eyes
and though i know, soon’s my demise
its still nice to have fun sometimes :)

if i could id fly real high
                         (sometimes…)
make my way up to the sky
                               (one day…)
even when i want to die
                              (always…) 
its nice to have fun sometimes!

..

knowing that you’ll die tomorrow?
what’d you like to do today?

once you take your pills and swallow,
you can’t get up anyway.

its nice to have fun sometimes! (prod pupsies)

releases on all plats: 03/08/25

edit: IVE REUPLOADED THIS IWTH A DIFFERENT MIX LIKE 5 TIMES IM DONE WITH IT. NO MORE.

i say "emfl" a lot (end my femcel life) and i said it today and thought WOW! that would be a GREAT song! so i made this
also little story before the lyrics:

BUT GOOD FOR THEM I LOVE LVOE AND IM HAPPY WHEN PEOPEL ARE HAPPY TOGETHER!! :D it makes me feel hopeful!! :DD a little !! :D sometimes !!! :D also the term femcel is not that serious here pls don't come in my comments complaining if u do ur a pussy 

ああ

just another day in my FEMCEL life

(living in a lie)

just another day in my fucking femcel life
and i need a fucking boyfriend
just to keep myself alive
wanna cut my wrists and slice
me to bits
cus i’ve never even held hands 
just said love you on a screen
are you a real human being?

got that captcha
could you capture
this moment permanently 

tell me that you’ll never leave
i can show you everything
i could be all you would need
and when you finally get tired
you can just leave me on seen 

they say i got daddy issues
need someone to hold me
wonder if you knew what i had been through
would you be kinder and see
that i don’t mean no harm
 
i’m sorry all i do’s fuck up
i’m a suicidal loser
and i don’t deserve your love

you can leak the things i say and show
and when i make my plan and end up 
inside of the hospital
break up with me cus it’s good for my own mental health
cus i need some fucking help
cus i cry and beg for you to stay
and promise that ill never make
your life more shit
promise ill fix
every mistake
ive ever made

no matter what it takes…
i just want our perfect future
with our own beautiful daughter 
and youll love her as her father
we can smile and ill make sure
that her life is happy
she won’t ever hurt

just another day in my fucking femcel life
and i need a fucking boyfriend
just to keep myself alive
wanna cut my wrists and die 
tell me why i even try
tell me why i can’t just give up loving — living in a lie.

just another day in my fucking femcel life
and i need a fucking boyfriend
just to keep myself alive
wanna cut my wrists and die 
tell me why i even try
tell me why i can’t just give up loving — living in a lie.

i know i have issues
but i forgive all of yours
i try to show that i love you
but i only end up worse

tried to help through every struggle
even when you broke my trust
told you “please don’t make that promise”
cus you broke it, my heart, crushed.

so it’s— 
just another day in my fucking femcel life
and i need a fucking boyfriend
just to keep myself alive
wanna cut my wrists and die 
tell me why i even try
tell me why i can’t just give up loving — living in a lie.

living in a lie…

my femcel life. (ilybeam)

prod. @zeromandia x ‪@d2s1‬
EDIT: im fucking crying bro my lisp in this is o badi m cdying i love this song sm but the lisp bro so embarrasing </3 guys dont hate me!

you're welcome everyone its a song NOT about a relationship, applause please!
(pre-intro or sum idk)
“—and do what they THINK i want... you're not ME. you don’t KNOW what I want. i want to do what I WANT to do, not what you THINK I want.”

(intro/chorus)
you don’t gotta get it right
you don’t even know me, ight?
i can tell i’m not ur type
“don’t fuck with shit u don’t like”
type.
i can tell i’m not your type
you can't read my lips, don’t try
you don’t get my lyrics

like, “what?” 

ask me what there is to get—
——set yourself up for failure 
right then.
u don’t gotta get it right
like?
you don’t get it, kay thats fine.
you don’t get it? you’ll be fine.

(verse)
all y’all try to tell me how i’m supposed to play the game
got me looking half insane
talking to myself, i’m strained, my voice is -

drowned out in the noises
you can’t hear my frequency so i would try to lower it
what’s the point?
fuck i quit.
 
you don’t know
tell me shit
you just wanna help by doing what you think i want
you don’t care about my thoughts
you don’t care about my truth
you just care about philosophies that only fit with you
fuck ur theory
cus i lived it.

(bridge)
said the bad will make the good
but i’ve had so many bad days
maybe i misunderstood?
but it really don’t feel that way…

(pre-chorus)
i want what i want for once
wanna make myself my own path
but i know if i fuck up
y’all will say i shoulda took my chance — when you tried to give it-
sorry that i took my life, and i tried to live it!
got me fucking livid
what’s the point of living?
give me an equation, i will spend the rest of my life trying make the solution make sense.
or maybe ill just stay dense!

(chorus pt.1)
ohh-
you don’t gotta get it right
you don’t even know me, ight?
i can tell i’m not ur type.

(outro/chorus pt.2)
don’t fuck with shit u don’t like, type.
i can tell im not your type
you can’t read my lips, don’t try
you don’t get my lyrics. like..?

what. 😐

you don’t get my lyrics.

like..?

i don’t need u 2 fw me. (@zeromandia x ‪@d2s1‬)

takuori i love !!!!! i loveee!! i love i love i love!!!!
guys idk how if eel about this one tbh. lyrics i felt were ehh but there were a few parts i rly liked sooo yea how i decide to upload is like, if i think at least 1 person will like it i upload it. that' probably not the best strategy but you know... i liked at least 50% of this song and thats good enough for me but dont be afraid to tell me i should unrelease this so i know

song inspired by emil cioran my love my one and only he is literally me fr....... shhh i know its a little cringey cmon now thats how it is around here ok..
---

look me in the eyes?
could you face me when i cry?
could you do the things you do if you saw how i felt inside
if i gripped your hands and buried them inside the burning ground, if you saw the scarring congealed skin would you think twice about it—  

but it really doesn’t matter
i’m alone inside my home
im alone inside my head
every time ive tried to tell them 

doesnt matter how good ive been cus theyll always see my shadow first
 
thats why i stay in the dark
id rather never see again
then have to watch the cycle repeat
nothing ever helps me
i still go through every day
walking up, down, the same street
the same things stay on my mind
nothing new happens to me

i would rather die inside a fire
instead of being consumed
by the void that i tire of,
my conception was the moment that it was decided i would hurt

the world won’t change, you live on luck
you seek the truth
but there is none
no hope, i dont expect a thing
thinking that would keep me free

"life is insignificant"?
i want to die -- but dont 
want to put it inside of my own hands
i already feel dead because

i wake up every morning
every day its all the same
i’m retracing my path all the way from
what was yesterday. 

all love is temporary and i see for what you are
we are liars we are dirty cheats
we could never be pure
there’s no loving without suffering
without having second thoughts
there’s no loving in the world
where we are individuals separated from each other
i would rather cut myself in half
and then id have a friend
who would understand my epitaph
“i endured and i was patient” 
are they all proud of me now?
ill never see the retribution they all talked about.

epitaph (prod. takuori)

idek how i feel abt this
--- lyrics ---
i dont even know you like that 
i dont even know you like that
 i dont even know you like that
you said you don’t care, 
said ‘so what?’
 

you don’t even know my name you read it off a badge you met me on the internet, 
that’s so sad..
i peer into my camera & i reach my hand inside
gonna grab you by the collar pull your face up to my eyes
when we’re nose to nose 
and lip to lip i’ll let you think
but you won’t kiss me

what a fucking pussy! thought you loved me you don’t mean a thing
everybody tells me it’s my fault cus i’m a fucking freak…   

is it so bad i wanna feel a body touching mine
i’d be the worst girl ever
just to hear you call me, “mine”.

you can take my halo, break it
you won’t be the only one
if u wanna see me naked better cut down to my soul
i will pull my chest apart and you can look at all my bones
pick me rib by rib, heart in your hand
and don’t ever let go!

(getting murdered btw)
nooooonoonoooon
onooooo
auuuuhh..h…..
ghhhghhhh oh my god.. think im gonna be sic kfuck.. fuckk fuwhat hfuc i didn’t dude what the fc oh my god its oh my god its every where holy fuck oh my god

ooohhh~ (the angels)


i’m bleeding out onto the floor
why’d you’d take me literal??

but fuck that shits so intimate
i don’t think that i care!

i’m so dizzy am i here?

i see the flashing lights they saw
i really hope there’s not a god
i don’t think he’d like to see me…

this is probably my fault
you were not the only one
who was lonely-
taking chances-
didn’t think you’d have gun!

….a gun.. really?

i dont even know you like that
 i dont even know you like that 
i dont even know you like that
you said you don’t care, 
said ‘so what?’

idek u like that! (pröz)

meh my fav part tho is the chorus near the end
pls dont make fun of my lisp its my new grills..
TURN DOWN UR VOLUME SORRY I MIGHT HAVE TO REUPLOAD if its too loud can u guys lmk? :c

i can’t ever just be fucking normal
if i could i would’ve i 
knew that i should’ve - i
tried to be yours but 
i, know that i’m no one 
i, wish i could throw up
now, i’m shattering this mirror-

blow out all my brains
there’s a churning in my gut
i’m still spinning homesick
inside of the underground tunnel

rushing train, and kicking gravel
kicking the rocks that bounce back
and i fall over, i trip myself
and then my brain goes splat!

when will i feel better
am i meant to be alone?
every day i wake up feels like i’ve been under anesthesia..

head up-
gone 
and then we’re back!
got it, i’m back, right on track
deafening my ears - the signal
as the train tracks rattle, sprinkl- ing

it sprays
my blood
i tried to stay real positive but 
i know i’m reliving days
it all changed 
but stayed the same
it flashed before- my eyes
even when i stand in pain
i can’t just be fucking normal
if i could i would’ve i 
knew that i should’ve - i
tried to be yours but 
i, know that i’m no one 
i, wish i could throw up
now—

i.
can’t.
just.
be fucking normal.
if i could i would’ve i 
knew that i should’ve - i
tried to be yours but 
i, know that im no one 
i, wish i could throw up
now, i’m shattering this mirror-

may i never see myself not knowing who i am
may i figure out a rhyme, a poem, make a perfect slant
may i bear my witness to the death
of my intrepid soul
may you never have to know
may you never have to know

i 
can’t just be fucking normal
if i could i would’ve   
i, wish i could throw up
now, i’m shattering this mirror-

ab_normal (prod. pelonn)

bloodsekai is supa talented and awesome listen to their stuff!! sorry for slurring i shouldve done mor esepeated takes but my grills make it hard to vcoalize sometimes
-- lyrics --
bloodsekai

[chorus]
i’m tired of the spinning
i just keep giving up winning
nothing,
my heart splattered
when i wake up
i can’t move cus
pills keep me stuck
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways

i’m tired of the spinning
i just keep giving up winning
nothing,
my heart splattered
when i wake up
i can’t move cus
pills keep me stuck
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways

when i mumble in my dreams
when i’m feeling half asleep
when i know what i should do
but i don’t know if i want to

house of love
you keep me up
built it right beside the beach
hurricanes, a tsunami
please come wash away my needs

my heads heavy
but i need to
know that i can feel okay
there are three holes in my tummy
one for each meal of the day

i’m in orbit, think a star
but i still wonder how far
u would need to go to see a black hole suck everything up

dizzy dizzy
miss u miss u
twirling twirling
whats my issue?
dizzy dizzy
miss u miss u
twirling twirling
whats my issue?

i’m tired of the spinning
i just keep giving up winning
nothing,
my heart splattered
when i wake up
i can’t move cus
pills keep me stuck
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways

i’m tired of the spinning
i just keep giving up winning
nothing,
my heart splattered
when i wake up
i can’t move cus
pills keep me stuck
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways

i’m so sorry
apologies
rent is due and i am screwed
-what will be my rock?
and be what will carry me thru

i’m so sorry
i’m so sorry
will things always be this way?
stuck reliving every moment
struggling to stay awake

i’m just so tired of the spinning
— i keep giving up on winning
it’s erratic 
even pretty sunshine give you sunburn, habits
die hard
i wont die though
my body wont let me rest
feeling empty
nothing i eat seems to stay inside my chest
  
i’m tired of the spinning
i just keep giving up winning
nothing,
my heart splattered
when i wake up
i can’t move cus
pills keep me stuck
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways

i’m tired of the spinning
i just keep giving up winning
nothing,
my heart splattered
when i wake up
i can’t move cus
pills keep me stuck
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways

when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways
when you come around i seem to still feel the same ways
i wish you could know the new me
seems i never changed..
i’m just so so sorry
will things always be this way?

sunshine beach ★ prod. bloodsekai

cvr: gearsmaiden
yea idk the mix on the beat is mid ... but i did it awlll my self :p
**LYRICS**
is this real life?
am i still alive
can i feel alive
can i feel alive

am i still alive
can i feel alive
i’m so cold 
i’m still shivering
will i survive

am i still alive
can i feel alive
i’m so cold 
can’t stop shivering
will i survive

in my youth i felt exhausted
at the cost of concentration been complaining, never received consolation
what i’m waiting for -
it’s bigger than the hopes you have
that you keep at the door
it’s a violation: takin’ fiction,
yet still wanting more

all my misery, it came without any mercy, merci beaucoup!
you never did a thing for me
how will i live without you?

thought that i could love even though i been fuckin’ hurt 
but i know that isn’t true
 now i know that shit don’t work!

am i still alive
no one by my side
am i still alive
with no one by my side

can i feel alive
no one by my side
i’m so cold 
i’m still shivering
will i survive

can i feel alive
no one by my side
i’m so cold 
i’m still shivering
will i survive

am i still alive
am i dead yet…
can i die yet, 
whats the point,
when i know i’ve tried?

and i know that i cant end my life, cus i still owe so much
i’m in debt to everyone who loved me, i held onto as a crutch
in the end, though
couldn’t help it
i’m so sorry
all you’ve dealt with…
it’s a mess
i’m such a mess, yet…

can i feel alive
no one by my side
i’m so cold 
i’m still shivering
will i survive

and i knew id be like this forever
why cant i just get it together?
and just be happy? could never
‘least now i’m as light as a feather..

now i’m as light as a feather c:

feathers (prod pupsies)

do not think of me as a human being any more, i know what i really am to those i give all my love to. i hope everyone is happy living a better life and no longer needing me, throwing me away. if i didn't know any better i would just kill myself already since i see how much i am worth to you and people like you.

islacooper_erts on ig - cover art

--- lyrics ---

ill never be a kid again, 
you can’t keep saying “next — year,” 
all i ever did was try to love
keep living through my tears 
i can’t become an adult
i know im emotion’lly stunted
i feel apathetic, 
sometimes think im on a watch list

i keep looking at the people ‘round me, wonder what they think
picturing my head smashed into brick, your faces make me sick
you’re all liars, fucking fake
you’re living lost, not knowing
blind, and never seeing
i’m invisible, don’t know me.

it’s hard to even go outside, resentment building every day
unconditional has conditions no matter what they say
there’s no good that you could do to ever change somebodies mind
you are fucking worthless, give it up, chasing, why won’t you die?

so desperate for attention that you believe every lie
blowing up in anger ‘cus you’re naive, knew they’d say goodbye
it’s the only thing that makes you feel like you’re even alive
so pathetic
fucking weak
i hate you
someone tell me why..

i live life waiting for the moment everything will turn black how much more time do i have to wait until i finally can go back?
 you know i’m not human really when i peel off all my skin you could never love me fully loving everything within

it’s been this way every day long as i can remember
am i just hallucinating why cant you all see it? 
you cant love me as i am, — so you all try to reason
you can’t even hide your hatred for all of my being

do you hear this all the same?
i keep listening to my own music, every song in the same day — — i got my life on replay
i got my life on replay
on replay
on replay 
on replay 
on replay 
on replay 
on re-

ill never be a kid again, 
you can’t keep saying next — year, 
all i ever did was try to love
keep living through my tears

i can’t become an adult
i know i’m emotion’lly stunted
i feel apathetic, 
sometimes think i’m on a watch list

ill never be a kid again, 
you can’t keep saying next — year, 
all i ever did was try to love
keep living through my tears

i can’t become an adult
i know i’m emotion’lly stunted
i feel apathetic, 
sometimes think i’m on a watch list

do you hear this all the same?
i keep listening to my own music, every song in the same day — — i got my life on replay
i got my life on replay
i got my life on replay
on replay
on replay 
on replay
on replay 
on replay
on re-

stepping stone stepping stone stepping stone stepping stone stepping stone stepping stone stepping stone

@Rumodeus so awesum ayyayayayy full version
edit: my mix on my vocals here isnt the best sorry headphones pls!!!

my femcel life (guitar remix) - feat. Rumodeus

"yo do some bs on this beat bro" 
"aight"
1 hour later.........

-- lyr --
eugh.. he’s soooo fucking cringe… 
yikes…
—

gotta be ur own friend
cus ur no one on ur own
my bad, nah i aint the problem
needed me cus ur alone

try to be someone who’s liked
cus u got no fuckin’ soul
kinda gross
ur kinda nasty
lyin’ ‘bout sipping on lean
— u say “drank drank drank”
what the fuck that even mean?

u got everybody laughing
like.. goddamnnn even me!

we gotta inject fuckin’ heroin
inside of ur veins
u can chase the high
i hope u die
just so i can say

“all u know abt is pain
how it feel to know u cant love nothing but what u can gain?”

just so that i can say
all u know abt is pain
how it feel to know u cant love nothing but what u can gain
how it feel to know u cant love nothing but what u can gain

-but what u can gain

but what u can gain

u got fucked up
somethings wrong inside ur brain
theres no cure
what a shame
got no fame to ur own name

lyin’ ‘bout sipping on lean
— u say “drank drank drank”
what the fuck that even mean??

— u say “drank drank drank”
what the fuck u even mean??
bitch y u lying to me?

all u love is what u gain but u still need more…

lyin’ ‘bout sipping on lean
— u say “drank drank drank”
what the fuck that even mean??

u say “drank drank drank”
what the—?!

luv&lean (prod. iamsodead)

idk // @\nickspinal (og photographer)
lyrics --

id rather not have friends
cus what if they’re too kind to me
making up my mind.
tell me, is that fine?
i dont wanna fight myself 
but i cant hold a light
slipping thru my hands like time, its faster
i can’t run cant stand i’m tired

wired, tight around my wrists and chest

tell me what i did so wrong
why cant this be over yet?

tell me what i did so wrong
why cant this be over yet?

tell me what i did so wrong
tell me, sorry, i forget..

memory of a goldfish
left and overfed
floating at the top inside a tank
“is she really dead?”

you can stuff me full
ill take it all
so you know that i tried

one day, lie down with myself and i
“mom, did i do alright?”

(4 bar)

wanna tell me who ill be?
tell me all ‘bout my potential
do you still feel pity knowing that its all js theoretical?

i know who i am,
im living outside ecstasy
i dont need u to see me separately 
u wont believe im whole

you refuse to see the mess ive made

i know who i am
just all of the things ill never be


i know who i am:
all the things ill never be

i know who i am:
all the things you won’t believe

i know who i am:
just all of the things ill never be

i know who i am:
all the things ill never be

i know -

you don’t know the real me, you see me as your ideal
you don’t love me, just the idea that ill be something real
i am nothing, in the ground, im dirt. im just a piece of earth
loving with no expectation doesnt work, can i return? can’t take no more…!

i know who i am,
im living outside ecstasy
i dont need u to see me separately 
u wont believe im whole

you refuse to see the mess ive made

i know who i am
just all the things ill never be

i know who i -
all the things ill never be

i know who i am:
all the things you won’t believe

i know who i am:
all the things you still wont see

i know who i am:
just all of the things ill never be…
 

i know who i am.
i know -
i know who i am 

i know who i am:
all the things ill never be

i know who i am.
i know theres no better me.

i know who i am (prod. tiresss)

on phone on bandlab at 12am shitty song thing 

inspired by shaun tan’s “never leave a red sock on the clothes line” painting, from the book rules of summer. 

it keeps pouring out
i left one of my shirts on the clothes line
that mistake was mine,
will it dry now?
didnt check the weather
missus pull yourself together

it keeps pouring out

is it still pouring out? (everestdidthis)

https://soundcloud.com/makemeapromise
thnks 4 the prod :)

this is an old song i did
sry for not uploading, my mic is broken and ive just been having life troubles lol.
pupsies fall off </3

lyr
-
oh..
in the distance
i can feel your presence
do you feel my heart yet
do you feel my heart rate
oh my head is dizzy
and the room is spinning
can you say you love me
do you love me, sweetie?
can you even say the truth?
kiss me, make our lips feel new
i dont know what to do
dont know what to do with you
no i dont know what to do
with you

heartrate (@prodsurgeon)

that mistake was mine. ໒꒱

@pupsies-archive for more experimental + draft songs

feel free to archive ( i am prone to sudden privating/deleting lol)

pupsies

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