prod me


I don’t act delicate
As much as I wish I did
I want a gentlemen
That's genuine

I'm lacking so much estrogen
Blocky build and hairy skin
Such a contradicting specimen
God I wish I was feminine
Wish I was a lesbian

I hate my body
My head is throbbing
Illuminati
I wanna be a hottie

I wish I wasn’t 6 feet tall
I wish it didn’t look like I had balls
I wish I didn’t bleach my fucking hair
Cause now it falls out
Fuck me who cares
Fuck me who cares

I wish I wasn’t flat
And I arched my back
I wish I was a pretty cat
And not an ugly little rat
I wish I was born just an average girl
But now I get made fun of by what seems to be the world
I wanna be a girl
I wanna be a girl
I wanna be a girl
I wanna be a girl!

I hate my body
My head is throbbing
Illuminati
I wanna be a hottie
I hate my body
My head is fucking throbbing
Illuminati
I wanna be a hottie

i wanna be a girl cover

demo

im so down on my calories
im wasting all my energy
my bmi is in the negatives
im too afraid to
ask for help
my social anxiety
its getting hard for me

u say that im selfish and i never treat u right
but pls know that i did it all for u
i did it i did it I DID IT ALL FOR U
I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT ALL FOR U OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT ALL FOR U

did it all for you (acoustic demo)

i hate u i hate u i hate u

pwnd - i hate u i hate u i hate u

@bloodsekai @foreverstained

sitting in the back of class
why do i feel so attached?
i dont wanna ever go back
to the way it was cuz it was sad
everyone sits and stares
i look around like i don't care
it's so mundane
like everyday
it's so mundane 
like everyday

i always feel excluded
i wanna be included
why's everyone so ruthless?
good thoughts been so elusive  
walking around with no change of face
i wanna be like u so bad
joking & laughing everyday
inconvenient, my heart lacks 
i wanna be like u so bad

sitting in the back of class
why do i feel so attached?
i dont wanna ever go back
to the way it was cuz it was sad
everyone sits and stares
i look around like i don't care
it's so mundane
like everyday
it's so mundane 
like everyday

i miss when i could jus smile it off
recently i've been finding myself pissed off
scrolling on twitter, it feels like tinder
every girl's in love, i wanna wither
it forces me to always remember 
what i once had yea i miss her
seems like i just want attention 
but i promise i have good intentions
disconnected from my friendships 
broke my antennas i have no reception 
every girl hates loverboys they just want manipulators 
i dont wanna be that guy but i could really treat u greater
every nights the same thing im begging someone saves me
why does it feel like everyone hates me?

sitting in the back of class
why do i feel so attached?
i dont wanna ever go back
to the way it was cuz it was sad
everyone sits and stares
i look around like i don't care
it's so mundane
like everyday
it's so mundane 
like everyday

bloodsekai & lifeless - i can't find joy in anything anymore

can u see my face am i okay?
im scared of everything i think that im in the way
it feels like mission impossible
i cant do anything (i forgot)
im scared of my future
im such a stupid loser
i think that im so scared
nothing i can run to
all i know is that im weak on the inside
my true emotions wont show and just hide
casue im so vulnerable
im a let down my head is dull
im so weak i think that its killing me
desperate ugly one hug is all i need
one day in hell me and the devil will met
ill write him a note then ill hang it from a tree



mission impossible

got some inspo from my friends hopefully yall will like this 


feeling hopeless out my conscious as i drift away in class
i dont know if i can last or if ill break in pieces
waiting for time to past
i cant escape my exhaustion
i just wanna be outside my conscious
i need to rest its time for bed
god please just put me in a coffin

put me in a coffin

prod @bloodsekai

i cant believe u left me here
i cant believe it
i want u to decide
if u dont wanna make it clear
then ill jus do it
lay here until i die
but what u said 
its in my head 
n ive been thinkin bout suicide
but instead keep it to myself
i really promise that i tried
x2

i cannot do this on my own
but i begged for u to go
cant let u see me get this low
but ive never been this alone
call my phone
tell me what u wanna do
ill come thru
all for u
cut myself n eat no food

i cant believe u left me here
i cant believe it
i want u to decide
if u dont wanna make it clear
then ill jus do it
lay here until i die
x2

but what u said 
its in my head 
n ive been thinkin bout suicide
but instead keep it to myself
i really promise that i tried
x2

i cannot do this on my own
but i begged for u to go
cant let u see me get this low
but ive never been so alone
but what u said
its in my head
n ive been thinkin
about suicide

i cant believe u left me here
i cant believe it
i want u to decide
if u dont wanna make it clear
then ill jus do it
lay here until i die

u decide

prod. yuki
cute carrot nose shes the only one i love
pale moonlight skin like a dove
shes cold at first but its only a facade
inside shes warm and snug
I WANNA HUG HER BUT SHE'LL MELT AWAY
WHY DO THINGS I LOVE DISAPPEAR WHEN ITS DAY
been off my meds for about 2 or 3 days
dont want my gf to go away
her grey eyes reflect a deep wisdom in her soul
im gonna fuck her snow hole
I WANNA HUG HER BUT SHE'LL MELT AWAY
WHY DO THINGS I LOVE DISAPPEAR WHEN ITS DAY

snowgirl gf cover

prod, mix, master by @bloodsekai

wrap my body in bandages
im rlly falling to pieces
all my guts r leaking
every time im speaking
x2

i dont even wanna die
but i think that tonights the night
i dont wanna fight it
my body wont deny it
do u gotta be so violent?
im bein so compliant
give me one little moment
need time thought i could buy it

i dont think that i could live another day
my body would expire and slowly decay
u never asked if i was ever okay
but its fine i guess ill never have to say

wrap my body in bandages
im rlly falling to pieces
all my guts r leaking
every time im speaking
x3

u never asked if i was ever okay
u never asked if i was ever okay
u never asked if i was ever okay
but its fine i guess ill never have to say

bandages

a friend told me to reup this so here ya go



even when u drank my blood
i loved ur every move and touch

cause its not hard to realize
that if im gonna live like this ill die
and im an angel girl living in this world
and ive been corrupted ive sinned in front of you

am i a bad girl?
even in the morning time
but

im not a slut im not a whore
at the year 19 or 24
i havent ate since 8 days ago
i fear that i cant fit my clothes

starving
starving by myself
starving and crying
im okay with it of course
it was never where
to the point when i was around
it was not going well
in fact i even felt it in the eye


im not a slut im not a whore
at the year 19 or 24
i havent ate since 8 days ago
i fear that i cant fit my clothes










pwnd - i hate u i hate u i hate u

r9k