I'll show you why they call me the first block buster!

What do you do with a drunken failure who couldn't live up to his bumbling mayor

Trapped out of the rest of the world, these two powerful blue entities find an escape to reflect and duke it out in this episode of Quizzical Quarrels!

Snakebite126 as Jevil
JesseBoxVO as Lapis
garbageGothic as Peridot

Written by Quizzique

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Arrangement and additional instrumentation by Quizzique

Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quizzique

LYRICS:
 
Jevil:
Welcome, welcome, boisengirls, to this Crystal Gem’s poisoned world
You’ve unlocked the door, so now prepare to see chaos unfurled!
Round and round the carousel goes, you circle back to the barn you hang
You leave and come right back so often, I’d think you’d ran on Boomerang

Fusion’s leaving you out of sorts, dealing with trauma since the divorce
So in your spare time, you now resort to mighty morphin’ some meaty morps
Not like me, of course, I’m thriving in my little freedom, something you were never shown
So you fought with those that kept you trapped in a mirror, then redeemed in a singular episode

It’s sad, sad that you’re looking so blue, your show’s run off the air like you’re back on the moon
I’m glad, glad your runtime got the boot, call you the farm when you’re torn from the roots
I’m mad, mad, you’re breaking my heart, you and Peri look like Homeworld: broken apart
You have, have a chance to restart, so perhaps for this battle, try not to depart


Lapis Lazuli:
So, this depressed jester from the Dark World thinks he dealt a verse?
Ask the giant tyrants I’ve defied, they’ll tell you I’ve felt worse
I helmed this cursed mirror within my gem’s grasp for thousands of years
So reflect on your defect of a story, I sure won’t drown in tears

You think I’m frightened of your suit attacks? I’m known to hit diamonds when up to the bat
I’d tear up this hack if he goes to a beach, they’re calling me Bob ‘cause I float on the beat

Peridot:
You should know to retreat when confronting the B team!

Lapis:
Even she can’t compare to the nonsense you’re speaking

Peridot:
Hey! Our bond is complex, that’s a smart thing to say

Lapis:
But at least my best friend didn’t lock me away!
You have claims of metamorphosis but no development to show

Peridot:
Lapis! Tell ‘em what you said when I asked if you even saw this secret boss! 

Lapis:
…No
Winning’s not within your cards, The FUN Gang made your levels fail
Won’t take the Garnet’s future vision to see the end of Jevilstail


Jevil:
Oh what fun, what fun! More games to play, with a new participant!
I hoped for a dating game, but I guess Ruby flew off with that ship!
Uee hee hee! You’ve got me like the Joker; in a laughing fit!
Yet I’m Revving up on this track so you can call me the Harlequin!

You can’t join my world! You seem more like Lars, how you cower away with your Clustered fears
You kids seeing stars? All your pleads and cries would put me to sleep for a hundred years!
Now, I won’t be the first jester to hit your series with an interjection
Want more screen time for your Future? Then return to your reflection


Lapis:
How does this thing work again?

Peridot:
Just press the button on the cartridge

Lapis:
Right, uhh…for the last time…I don’t. Want. Your garbage.
You think you saddened me? I felt more torn up by Camp Pining Hearts
I’d split you in two, but seems your mind and heart already declined apart

A numbers game? That plan’s dumb and lame. I can terraform worlds, don’t uphold your fight
You’ll lose those bids, and you call us kids?

Peridot:
You do know we’re centuries older, right?

Lapis:
This card shark’s under my control, and all his tricks are unregarded

Peridot:
Hey, and isn’t it ironic?

Lapis:
Yep, the joker got discarded

Lapis Lazuli vs Jevil - QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #8 (ft. Snakebite126, JesseBoxVO & garbageGothic)

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 08/28/2023

LYRICS

Intruder:
STOP WATCHING THIS. IMMEDIATELY HEED THE WARNING, PLEASE
PROCEEDING IS PROHIBITED, since you’ve no authority
Hogging the broadcast like that seems a bit selfish
So here’s another hijacking. I’ll let myself in.
I’ve been watching you. And I’ve been following
The only action that you’ve produced is me vomiting 
You catch the wave when you’re bad-mouthing Coke
I’ll drown you in flow YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE THE BODIES
I break and enter to crack the door and your mind too
Hang you from the ceiling like the driveway door behind you
Send prayers to Gabe but you’re one that he wouldn’t pay mind to
Don’t bend over, just look behind you.

Max Headroom Hijacker:
Is this thing on? I’d like to interrupt this
You crack the doors at night? Guess what, baby, I’m unhinged 
Nobody’s scared of JPEGS or whatever you set free
But your fans are still like “Oh no! They’re coming to get me”
(mumbling) Not a monster but I’ll berate you, yo
Makes sense you don’t got copies, you’ve no ways to alternate your flow
(mumbling) Met with the Preacher and I let loose
She’s got the long face, call that Maximum Headroom
Looking a Eminem sketch mixed with some drugged dude?
I thought it was a VHS glitch, but no, that’s just you
You build up your releases and hype up crowds for that lame excuse
Then the fans are disappointed like “WHO HAVE I BEEN PRAYING TO?!”

Intruder:
Please Tell me how you plan to Hinder me
Because I can’t even Identify a way you would be hitting me
Neutralize me? With a flyswatter as your weapon?
Take my word - Know your place, second
You broadcasted disgusting fetish play to millions
Parents distraught at the sight of their missing infant’s innocence 
The cops are out still looking and I’m looking through your suspects
Mr. John R. Macdougal on-
They left the hands of the messenger to a crackpot
Thinking you’re a rap god, *cut to a pic of gabriel*
Unknown identity? Then I’ll be leaving no traces
Take this manchild down 3,426 CASES

Max Headroom Hijacker:
Think you deal me mental damage, but your trash is weak
An analog parody, I don’t wanna hear it, M.A.D.tv
Everything you said was garbled nonsense, but I’m not surprised
So take advice from the respondents, learn on how to drop a line
Healthcliff pulled the trigger on himself, honest, I’d do the same
Cause listening to all your raps? I’d put the bullet through my brain
How could this chess piece man ever to hope to terrify watchers
When you’re shilling some cute plushies, only 25 dollars!!!
Take a swatter if you think you’re fly and leave you bleeding red
“The Death of Six” with crossed out eyes, so only you can see the X
And here’s a tip to Mandela County so that the hurting stops 
If TV’s rotting your brain away, then maybe turn it off

CREDITS

SimplyRazzy as The Intruder
Mr. Tibbs as WARNING

MetaStarVA as The Max Headroom Hijacker

Written by Rabi 
Additional writing help from Fightmarker
Beat prod. by InsaneBeatz
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by Moxxie
Cover art by Rabi

The Intruder vs. The Max Headroom Incident - Rap Battle

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 04/15/2024

LYRICS

Parakeet:
I don’t talk first often but I’m gonna make this quick
I’ll batter you then make nuggets out of this little baby chick
Putting a cheap joke in Fortnite is pretty typical
Best call me a Griffin then, ‘cause I’m fucking mythical
A running gag that Peter hates with every single fiber
But like the coupon that you gave him, that bit expired
So when I’m roasting you, best know this ends fatally
Go hop in a deep fryer, KYS at KFC

Chicken:
Look, I’m hearing you, but listen, please stop 
I’d rather shut this down now like it was the eShop
But if you lock eyes - then it’s on-sight
Facing with this dickhead, now it’s a cockfight
I’ll drive a car right through the “I” that you latch to
Crash through this fast food so Dashie acts sad too
And no one else remembers you, so you’re passing quietly
Ask Mario to build a grave on top your little title screen

Parakeet:
I’d copy everything you said so you can eat your words
But you said nothing, I can’t even repeat your verse
Man, all those death threats ain’t really gonna strike a nerve
Makes sense the surface level joke is a flightless bird
You got no wife, she’s all up on my business
I’ll turn that bucket of chicken into a fucket of dicken
And you can meet my flamethrower, kiss my ass and burn in hell
Burninhell, burninhell, b u r n i n h e l l 

Chicken:
Think that little fire’s gonna knock my lights out?
Your guys took down that Flappy Bird, but I will never pipe down
A shitty flamethrower can’t make me burst into flames
You’re not the word, you’re just the worst fucking bird that I hate
Nintendo left your ass, you’re no longer on air waves 
The only thing they have you repeating now is “spare change?”
I resurrect and beat Peter ceaselessly ‘til his days are through
While you never came for the sequel, now you’ve met your Maker 2

CREDITS

Shimario as The Parakeet

Walk as The Chicken

Written by Rabi
Additional writing help by Fightmarker, CJ, and Shimario
Beat prod. by Diamond Style
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by ColeTheCole and Rabi
Cover art by Rabi

That Fucking Bird That I Hate - Rap Battle

LYRICS

Quint from Jaws:
The name is Sam Quint, you know what I do very well
So spare the damn hints, I’ve no patience for ferry tales
The Quint-essential destroyer of horrid fish
Pointing at a loner fishing for attention
Poor lad is left out like a dorsal fin
The Orca is a mighty lass, you’re captain of a little bitch
What good’s the mutt for? Fetching River Sticks?
So can it ‘fore I smack those chattery jaws out your cloak
I’d say suck my dick, but you’re gonna need a bigger throat

The River Person:
Tra la la, Clint, was it? All aboard! Why just step in!
No need to sound like nails on a chalkboard for my attention
My, you seem to lack direction since your warship tasted metal
After all those years, you’re the one ready to pop a vessel
Tra la la, beware the - tale of the seafaring stranger
Who’s picture they - whisper made - sharks become endangered
I only jest, he’s a beacon for seabed
He begged the city for ten grand just to keep those beasts fed
Oh, what do you do with a drunken failure…
Who couldn’t live up to his bumbling mayor?
A veteran’s vengeance against fish fuels the war he leads
The next ship you board should be USS Your Priorities

Quint from Jaws:
Shut it down like the beaches, there’s such a large gap between us-
That not even the duckling you compete with could reach it
Plummet down like Hooper’s time served as a scuba diver
I’ll brutalize the Underground’s chatty ass Uber driver
Your shitty ass fandom is - giving me flashbacks when-
They eat up those dead tropes in droves like Indie-anapolis
So, get your clumps of pixel chumps stuck living under
And I’ll show you why they call me “The First Blockbuster”

The River Person:
Tra la la, beware the man who smells of moldy cheese snacks
Ditch the white whale and hunt for therapy, Captain Rehab
Quinten, you’re more quaint than Mr. Gerson
Just quit the liquor slurping before you become The Half-A-Liver Person
Tra la la, like the shark to your boat, here’s a tip
Next time you start descending, get a grip
Spent your last breath like Undyne, driven by burning hatred
And now that shark’s stomach is filled with determination

CREDITS

Mr. Tibbs as Quint from Jaws

Rabi as The River Person

Writing by Snakebite126
Additional writing help by Rabi, R. YFU, and GrenadeGames
Beat prod. by ToneJonez
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover art by Snakebite126

Quint from Jaws vs. The River Person - Rap Battle

TheMonarchy as Feathers McGraw 
ThanosQuack as Untitled Goose Game 
Mixed by Kaewoo 
CoverArt by WhozPhantom 
Beat by Requiem Beatz 
Art by Molliebendite & ACE
Special thanks to Grasman & GreenOwl 

Lyrics: 

McGraw: 
Feathers McGraw, most foul mind Britain’s seen 
Keeping up with the crimes as he now steals the scene 
From this inconspicuous ballbusting gander 
Out here stealing millions you just get bread from grandmas 


Ruffle feathers with McGraw soon you’ll be dead & gone 
I will only need my glove and then I’ll make a Chicken Run (and) 
I find it ironic who you bite off greater 
Cuz You only be a Goat in a Simulator 
(On guarde)

So I’ll beg my pardon as you’re decimated  
Verbally of course, rest we shall see later 
I’ve got some serious heat, that is the proof you lose 
So get down! Duck Duck Goose 

Untitled Goose Game: 
Oh snap! The nun turned out to be strapped 
But hasn’t considered the fact, nobody fucking asked! 
If all you you do is squawk then leave it to the ducks 
Keep the Blue Diamond I got bofa (bofa?) both-a-deez nuts 

“I’m ballbusting” yap yap yap yap 
Whatever bro just put the Beets in bag 
A thousand gnomes couldn’t cover your thousand yard stare
“I almost got the bag” dude NOBODY CARES 

So L +Ratio 
Stay trapped in the zoo while I wander every pond every patio
This penguin is crazy, bro thinks he Cobblepot 💀
Fitting for someone so deadpan to end bottled up 

McGraw :
Quiet you, we shan’t see what happens when I choose violence 
You should take notes from my playbook and embrace silence 
I’ll leave your burrow burrowed and ransack your House House 
You’ll go south out of season, this goose is cooked now 
 
A verbal murder, my first bird on bird crime 
This Goose couldn’t help, fell shorter than its play time 
I’m done stealing the battle, and while it was delightful 
Shows why I remain unrivaled and you’ll stay Untitled 


Untitled Goose Game: 
Oh you’re dangerous a criminal we get it 
But the best you got still is waaay too many edits 
I get hoes, I get bread, money and the Crown as well 
Switch it to the ring and that means I’ll hear no bell 

Cuz I stole it, now it’s in my burrow shining bright 
Like that smooth clay that will go extinct with the times 
Fits that a fly less bird doesn’t land but just crash and burn 
You’re left without your ice what happens when Penguins Turn (Honk!)

Feathers McGraw vs Untitled Goose Game- Rap Battle! ft. TheMonarchy & ThanosQuack

Puss in Boots

Fear me if you dare I’m Puss in Boots! 

I'm a versatile cat, you're a loosey goose!

I'm a living legend, I faced down death!

You're a fat house pet, who puts John in debt.


If you've come for a bounty, you won’t leave alive 

Like your ratings when movie reviews took a dive

I see no need to continue, let me drink my leche

Antes de que me convierta en tu muerte


Garfield 

Zzzzzz(snoring) oh is it my turn to rap?

Against a cat, who doesn’t even have the claws to scratch(Puss in Boots-Prrrrr)

Your a Has-been legend time to hang up those boots 

You got 9 lives? More like 9 bad reboots


You got ditched like your marriage when you got softpaws

Then scratched up an ogre ordered by his father in law

You scrambled your friendships now, who's the bad egg?

Now If you think I’m all ears than I’m straight up death 


Puss in Boots

Me sorprende que tu hambre de victoria es poca 

La historia del gato con diabetes contra el gato con botas 

Yo soy peligroso, tus ataques no me dañan , 

me robé el escenario, tu te atragantas con lasaña 


Garfield

Zzzzz OH! We’re still going?

Let me switch my flow just how switched with a donkey

Joined three diablos that was a no no

And this why…..why um zzzzzzzzz (Puss in boots

!Ay, Díos mío!)

https://youtu.be/GXZBEKUHQiI?si=faUz8EWxXcLaKwSf


Puss in Boots-Cyancoat

Garfield-Thanosquack

Writing-Aj,We think

Mixing-Jort

Demo-Captain Jorge

Beat-Andrey Rossi



Puss In Boots vs. Garfield- Quick Rap Battles (Ft.CyanCoat, ThanosQuack)

April fools you little sausage  𓆏 

•CAST/CREW•
Light as Majin Sonic
TheNauticalClayDol as Atari 2600 ET

(Majin Sonic)
A finger wave outta start this
Another bargain bin scrap from the shit market?
Outbound me? I stomp flames
Screw an arcade, Rolfe pushes your buttons and then you haunt James!

Hop back in the airship you came in and I'm still fly
The lags and glitches isn't something for a thrill, guy!
Worth a shit ton for this Reeses Pieces looking ass
The only thing I groom is my fantastic mustache!

(Atari ET)
Um, excuse me, I know my neck stretches miles
Searching for another soul in your game might take a while
And finding a single worth of those flow switches
Your dead ass looks like the type to say I get no bitches!

Oh is it still my rap? Well chap I “mustache”
How did baldi and banban have more upper class?
Beat me please, you battling thee
OG fucking ET, your ass is just another EXE!

(Majin Sonic)
OH HO HO, not a single anomaly would find you!
FLOWS TOO SLOW, wouldn't be the same in my shoes!
You're a prick to many, and I thought I was the hedgehog!
I ran laps around you, you ran and then fell off!

(Atari ET)
All the rings, yet couldn't attract a single mate!
Fun is Infinite? When you were terminated I wouldn't say the same
From gaining clout, to FNF taking you down
Then went from “I AM GOD” to a Lord X'ing you out


Majin Sonic Art by Tompuffs
Atari ET Art by box

Written by box
Demo by box
Beat by Soulker
Mixed by box
Thumbnail by Tompuffs



ATARI 2600 ET VS Majin Sonic ○ Rap Battle by box [Ft Light!]

Grasman as Vox
Mochi as Karen
Stasious as Vox’s Camera Operators
Duplighost as Plankton
Beat by: ToneJonez
Written by: Ego
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

VOX!!!!

VS!!!!

KAREN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Vox]
Here at VoxTek, you trust us with your info
But uhh, I barely know enough about yours to diss, though
I'm the new status quo, quid pro quo is your status
When you pay your costumers to eat your husbands fucking crap sticks
I'm the manager, Karen, I make the big bucks
But like you in your failing marriage, I dont give fucks
Your rapping software will crash, when you hear my bars like Val
Because I am going SO hard right now 
Chip dipped cuz you couldn't be a mom
Your secret formula is dying, find a new format
Red dot on K, so turn the TV on, TURN THE TV ONNNNN
You're second place, I’m the shit that comes before that!

[Karen]
(KAREN, what did i say about rap battles with the TV, huh?)
*sigh*, it's too bad you don't have a mute button like he does
(Come on! I wrote your whole programming you know, and still heard less beeps)
Than what? the censored version of your show?
Sorry, I think you mistook me for someone who gives a *EEEEE*
Here the soulless sinners usually work across the street
And you could have had all of pentagram city in your grasp
But you’re 1% evil, 99% hot ass!
You can dust my screen, you dont wanna fuck with me!
I'll take the letter after Vee, while you bleed like a plasma screen
Voiced by a Christian, but you’ll never see the gates above
Cuz you’ve got a face that not even a motherboard could love!

[Vox (to the tune of stayed gone)]
(Cameras rolling in 6,5,4) Welcome home!
Plankton gave you the boot and you Stayed Gone
Say hello, to a new rapping flow
Everyone knows that your show is washed, Turn the PC OFFFF (rolling in 3, 2, 1)
I'm a cold blooded shark, you roll on thin ice, bitch
You should know, I'm fucking used to crushing mobile devices
You're leagues beneath this overlord, The V's fucking tower
But even I can't hypnotize- (Your fans to take a shower?) (UGHHHHHHH)
Fuck you little miss bleeping heart, l'll show you suffering!!!
(Mmm… this anchor has no arms but the TV’s buffering!)
I'll destroy you!!!!!! (Oooh, I'd like to see you try :))
You miserable failure!!! you’re gonna fucking die!!!!
*power goes out*

[Karen]
This wayward sinner doesn’t have a way with words
If your network doesn’t pull the plug than you should do it first
You and your 2-inch short circuit can both make your exit
Pursuing allure, but you’re as insecure as Microsoft Edge is
Wifey with the wifi, I’m rocking the track
While you would lose all your bars at the drop of a hat
But I’ll give you props, your flow sure put me through hell to listen
You’re a sheldon of your former self, now that's good television!
*laughing hysterically* SHELDON (KARENNNN!!!!!)

Vox vs Karen (Hazbin Hotel vs SpongeBob) - Ego Rap Battles

How you like it

The unspeakable shame that haunts every degen

The Jar Incident (We Dont Talk About That)

Won’t ever stop.mp3

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Rabi_battles
Twitter: https://x.com/rabi_funny
BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/rabbyfrb.bsky.social

Quint from Jaws vs. The River Person - Rap Battle

Rabi

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