LYRICS

Quint from Jaws:
The name is Sam Quint, you know what I do very well
So spare the damn hints, I’ve no patience for ferry tales
The Quint-essential destroyer of horrid fish
Pointing at a loner fishing for attention
Poor lad is left out like a dorsal fin
The Orca is a mighty lass, you’re captain of a little bitch
What good’s the mutt for? Fetching River Sticks?
So can it ‘fore I smack those chattery jaws out your cloak
I’d say suck my dick, but you’re gonna need a bigger throat

The River Person:
Tra la la, Clint, was it? All aboard! Why just step in!
No need to sound like nails on a chalkboard for my attention
My, you seem to lack direction since your warship tasted metal
After all those years, you’re the one ready to pop a vessel
Tra la la, beware the - tale of the seafaring stranger
Who’s picture they - whisper made - sharks become endangered
I only jest, he’s a beacon for seabed
He begged the city for ten grand just to keep those beasts fed
Oh, what do you do with a drunken failure…
Who couldn’t live up to his bumbling mayor?
A veteran’s vengeance against fish fuels the war he leads
The next ship you board should be USS Your Priorities

Quint from Jaws:
Shut it down like the beaches, there’s such a large gap between us-
That not even the duckling you compete with could reach it
Plummet down like Hooper’s time served as a scuba diver
I’ll brutalize the Underground’s chatty ass Uber driver
Your shitty ass fandom is - giving me flashbacks when-
They eat up those dead tropes in droves like Indie-anapolis
So, get your clumps of pixel chumps stuck living under
And I’ll show you why they call me “The First Blockbuster”

The River Person:
Tra la la, beware the man who smells of moldy cheese snacks
Ditch the white whale and hunt for therapy, Captain Rehab
Quinten, you’re more quaint than Mr. Gerson
Just quit the liquor slurping before you become The Half-A-Liver Person
Tra la la, like the shark to your boat, here’s a tip
Next time you start descending, get a grip
Spent your last breath like Undyne, driven by burning hatred
And now that shark’s stomach is filled with determination

CREDITS

Mr. Tibbs as Quint from Jaws

Rabi as The River Person

Writing by Snakebite126
Additional writing help by Rabi, R. YFU, and GrenadeGames
Beat prod. by ToneJonez
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover art by Snakebite126

Quint from Jaws vs. The River Person - Rap Battle

Ego as Blitzo
Leo Barqui as Beetlejuice

Written by Teimunity

Illustrations by Tompuffs, Dboy
Thumbnail by Cidisswo

Mixed and Mastered by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Production by Anywaywell

Special Thanks: Dboy, Tompuffs, Spindlehorse, You, The Viewer

Beetlejuice vs. Blitzo • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

Don’t gotta hold in your laughter when these felted funnymen take the stage!

Both voices, writing and mix by Leo Barqui

Beat by Raias Beats

Randy art by Hazelmoth

Ted art and thumbnail composition by Tompuffs

Special thanks to ClarencetheDuck, Hypotoria, Hazelmoth, Zagranis and Alchemyking

Edit (when it releases) by GreenOwl


Lyrics:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1si4nZeMpD15jOmZUrFMkt_sE3y1bfpR33vuMdqN3vME/edit

Randy Feltface vs Ted

Grasman as Vox
Mochi as Karen
Stasious as Vox’s Camera Operators
Duplighost as Plankton
Beat by: ToneJonez
Written by: Ego
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

VOX!!!!

VS!!!!

KAREN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Vox]
Here at VoxTek, you trust us with your info
But uhh, I barely know enough about yours to diss, though
I'm the new status quo, quid pro quo is your status
When you pay your costumers to eat your husbands fucking crap sticks
I'm the manager, Karen, I make the big bucks
But like you in your failing marriage, I dont give fucks
Your rapping software will crash, when you hear my bars like Val
Because I am going SO hard right now 
Chip dipped cuz you couldn't be a mom
Your secret formula is dying, find a new format
Red dot on K, so turn the TV on, TURN THE TV ONNNNN
You're second place, I’m the shit that comes before that!

[Karen]
(KAREN, what did i say about rap battles with the TV, huh?)
*sigh*, it's too bad you don't have a mute button like he does
(Come on! I wrote your whole programming you know, and still heard less beeps)
Than what? the censored version of your show?
Sorry, I think you mistook me for someone who gives a *EEEEE*
Here the soulless sinners usually work across the street
And you could have had all of pentagram city in your grasp
But you’re 1% evil, 99% hot ass!
You can dust my screen, you dont wanna fuck with me!
I'll take the letter after Vee, while you bleed like a plasma screen
Voiced by a Christian, but you’ll never see the gates above
Cuz you’ve got a face that not even a motherboard could love!

[Vox (to the tune of stayed gone)]
(Cameras rolling in 6,5,4) Welcome home!
Plankton gave you the boot and you Stayed Gone
Say hello, to a new rapping flow
Everyone knows that your show is washed, Turn the PC OFFFF (rolling in 3, 2, 1)
I'm a cold blooded shark, you roll on thin ice, bitch
You should know, I'm fucking used to crushing mobile devices
You're leagues beneath this overlord, The V's fucking tower
But even I can't hypnotize- (Your fans to take a shower?) (UGHHHHHHH)
Fuck you little miss bleeping heart, l'll show you suffering!!!
(Mmm… this anchor has no arms but the TV’s buffering!)
I'll destroy you!!!!!! (Oooh, I'd like to see you try :))
You miserable failure!!! you’re gonna fucking die!!!!
*power goes out*

[Karen]
This wayward sinner doesn’t have a way with words
If your network doesn’t pull the plug than you should do it first
You and your 2-inch short circuit can both make your exit
Pursuing allure, but you’re as insecure as Microsoft Edge is
Wifey with the wifi, I’m rocking the track
While you would lose all your bars at the drop of a hat
But I’ll give you props, your flow sure put me through hell to listen
You’re a sheldon of your former self, now that's good television!
*laughing hysterically* SHELDON (KARENNNN!!!!!)

Vox vs Karen (Hazbin Hotel vs SpongeBob) - Ego Rap Battles

► CREDITS:

Sanpie as Azula

TAFox as Ursa 

Snakebite126 as "Mighty Steel Leg" Sing

JustGamer as "Golden Leg" Fung

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Edited by Theme Park Avenue

Azula Art by 3ple

Beat Prod. by Midex
 
Mixed by GlitchDude

Beat Arranged by Theme Park Avenue & GlitchDude

Cover Art by JK03
 

► LYRICS:

Azula Verse 1 

Greetings, I’m Princess Azula of the Fire Nation
And you’re the second monk I’ll leave annihilated

Now, I could have lied and claimed I wanted you on my team
But I only flatter people who are useful to me

I see your story in your eyes, and your shoes, you were poor before your tournament
And you don’t have the power I was born with

And you’re a thief, I’m calling timeout on your vile life
And I won’t be penalized, ruling’s my divine right


Shaolin Soccer Verse 1 

(Whistle) Pay attention, it’s your turn!
Oh, uhh… you’re a firebender, right? Well now you’re gonna get burned

And it’s crazy that the Firelord trusted you with his dynasty
You’re 14 years old, and I thought I was in the Minor League


Azula Verse 2

Stick to soccer, you speak worse than Sokka
But that’s not a surprise, so I’ll give you a real shocker

Honestly, you should be grateful, thanks to me, you’re making history
As you’ll be the first soccer player who’s not faking injuries


Interlude 

My power is coming back, I can feel it

Kill him


Steel Leg Verse 2 

I use martial arts for every kind of practical function
You just use them for the narrow-minded path of destruction

And your attacks are always just a hair off from being significant 
Your technique doesn’t cut it, maybe next time try a scissor kick

And you’re too serious, you need to try some tai chi or chai tea
Just loosen up like your old friend Ty Lee

If you joined her at the circus you’d give splendid performances
Since your brutal childhood made you quite the mental contortionist


Interlude 

My own mother, thought I was a monster
No, I love you Azula, I do


Azula Verse 3 

Do you think I got to where I am by trusting in others?
Everyone’s scared of me, I wasn’t even loved by my mother

So I used fear to sway an army, then we started getting things done
Screw being down-to-Earth, I brought down the Earth Kingdom!

I’m perfect! I don’t even smear my makeup when I have a fight
While your disgusting girlfriend looks like she lost in an Acne Kai

And she’s your strongest player? You’re all dead if you don’t pledge to me
Your coach’s leg is broken, and I’ll still ensure he bends the knee

I’m everything my father ever wanted in a daughter
I have conquered, fought, and slaughtered in his honor

While my mother always shunned me “No, I love you” No, you saw me as a monster
So I shut out everybody and I’m not just talking soccer


Steel Leg Verse 

Aww, now I feel conflicted about fighting someone mentally unstable
Don’t hold back, Sing, rapping is war

Speaking of which, don’t forget she planned to scorch her world’s equivalent of Hong Kong
I’m not conflicted anymore

Your father never truly loved you, he just treasured your skills
You were his little ball of fire and he bent you to his will

Then he banished your mother and tore your family apart
It’s very clear he wasn’t trained in the marital arts

Your first attack on the Earth Kingdom almost had you killed
I could have broken through that wall with my practice drill

You tried to steal your brother’s throne and you ended up fettered
So thanks to your failure, he finally caught an heirbender


Azula vs Shaolin Soccer. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Ego as Tom
Ego as Herobrine
Ego as Edd, Matt, and Tord
Written by: Ego, Kyllisto
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

HEROBRINE!!!!

VS!!!!

TOM!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Herobrine]
It’s the, urban legend27, haunting your bros seed 
Bloodying you, vans to hair, thats how I coat steves
Your only sharp at the top, like my pyramids,
Just go check the html files, BITCH I’M HIM
Thought the drip was on point, but you look like pointed dripstone
So i wouldn’t split hairs or he might end up breaking his bones
I build structures, you get hammered and fail
Pencil neck, but I’ll be the one to drag you to hell
Got no balls, top to bottom, like your old design, you’ll flatline
But thinking bout your fanart makes me glad that I don’t have eyes

[Tom]
Holy texture change on a painting! Your flow is shit!
The funny thing about that, though: you don't exist
*sigh* pass the smirnoff, I’m stomping this hoax
Cuz y’know, I believe you, but my tomee bear don’t (Lame)
You’re no 303, you 404, with each forum page
I’m up against the fuckface taken down in every up-date?
I’ll blow up your dang place, make a mess of your blank face
Like your source code, what's left of you there won’t be a trace!

[Herobrine]
This eyeless jackoff needs a mask on to save face
But If Eddsworld was a band, than you’d play bass
No saving your save file, when I emerge from dark fog
So I’ll commence with the roasting like a burning montage
Classic stupid Tom, what's some bible student next to a god?
Your family tree is one that even I dont wanna touch on

[Tom]
Graduated from monster school, where your pupils lie and now
You’ve been milked by content farms, since they mistook you for a cow
And you’re supposed to be some evil spirit....? That’s some tame shit
Have you seen your bro’s statements? Even he’s filled with more hatred (ugh!)
I kill clones, you won’t survive against me
While I broke out of newgrounds, you got mining fatigue
I’ll treat this dead meme, like his livestream, and take his ass down
You ended how you started: by fading in the background

Edd: Wow, that was a great battle!
Tord: Oh definitely
Matt: Absolutely
Tom: No one will ever love me!

Tom vs Herobrine (Eddsworld vs Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

Snakebite126 as Nagito Komaeda
Egomanic as Jumbo Josh

Lyrics Written by: Capitan Jorge, Third Coming of Christ, Cidisswo
Additional Writing by: TheToppo
Audio Mixed by Jordy


[Lyrics]:

RAP BATTLE
NAGITO KOMAEDA
VS
JUMBO JOSH
BEGIN

[0:10 - 0:52] Nagito Verse 1 [16 Bars]
I think I am talentless, then I look at this ape
Your only skill's your strength, yet those seem lacking on your game
(ugh) I have heard and I'm aware that I'm the worst
But at least I'm not dumb enough to smash Banban's girl!
Can't even say you're a stepping stone, your garten shows what hopeless is!
Your creepy-ass is going out there holding kids as hostages!
Made out of clay, yet someone should break the mold
'Cause it's clear a worker's lift ain't enough to lift your worker's hopes
(ugh!) You’re fucking shallow, I’d say prepare for your sad death
But I could spend hours stabbing you and you still wouldn’t have depth
Though how much you change sides proves your plot's got more holes
Storytelling ain't your forte, can't even tell humans from dolls
Even if you count mine, your genre is a worse cancer
Compare our robot bears and hand the L to Freddy Fazbear
I know you don't fare well with traps, so say farewell to this trap beat
Taken care of a warehouse, this trashy scare house won' t trap me!

[0:52 - 1:13] Jumbo Josh Verse 1 [8 Bars]
It's Jumbo Josh, brah. You better watch, dude
Want some isolation? Let me take you to my watch room!
To eat your veggies and fruits is what I would tell you
But you feed off attention so eating healthy wouldn't help you!
Your dog got hit by a car, you’re no Family Guy,
Because your parents got fried 40k feet in the sky.
Now you brain’s messed up ever since you lost your mama,
Getting off to Hope, like you got a Crush on Obama.

[1:13 - 1:34] Nagito Verse 2 [8 Bars]
I know I lost my parents, and that I'm just a faker
But it's sadder that this buffoon is a joke to his own creators!
(Haha!) Your watchroom ain't shit compared to Jabberwock
When a fucking jellyfish and a cat are your worst opps!
  It’s funny you think you can leave a scratch on me
When the last thing that crushed on you left injuries on your body!
Though, didn’t think anyone would look at this thing and obsess, 
Since you treat your own friends and women like objects!

[1:34 - 2:15] Jumbo Josh verse 2 [16 Bars]
(Uh!) Seems this time you failed at bringing down the house with fire!
(Uh!) Only gas you’re lighting is to your friends, you big liar!
You're just hopeless and hoeless, know the answer, bro?
'Cause your crush on Hinata turns Jabberwock to Jabberwoke!
You worship the talented, knowing you're not shit
But I know my words won't hurt you more than you already did
The way you talk ‘bout hope makes it seem like it's something you own
But your beliefs fall flatter than how I'd leave your bones
Got a million diseases, now your frail body’s dropping
Next time you’re in an octagon, I’ll make sure it’s your coffin
I'm rolling in the green, while you dress like a hobo 
I took the scene where you died and watched that shit in slo-mo
I'm a cold blooded unaliver and you got me pissed
So I'll take my fists and pulverize a twink to red mist
After I crush you flat, I'm leaving with a massive grin
Cause now Garten Of Banban just took a Jumbo-sized win!

Jumbo Josh VS. Nagito Komaeda - Cidisswo Rap Battles

well I've been sitting on this long enough, someday I'll get this fully produced but I'm kinda not as passionate about it anymore. in the meantime, enjoy ig !

Hazelmoth - Bugs and Walt

Art - Quagga and WAN
TN - CornCob

Beat prod. InsaneBeatz

LYRICS
Bugs Bunny
Ehh, what’s up, Doooc? And in fact, you should see one
When steppin’ up to Gray Matter, wouldn’t wanna be ya
So cough it up, wise guy, I don’t respect elders
If ya tussle with the bunny, better stick to it like Elmer

Someone call a coroner for White’s house of horrors
He’s quartering upper crusts on all 4 corners
A war on more fronts than this two-faced courter
In a rockier relationship than Hank’s quartz are

Of course, poor Skyler, you couldn’t warner brother
A coordinated hit, on your life with any lover
No coyote, just a Runner, and I’m standing on the road, so come at me
Like a short fuse, and start cooking, ACME

Walter White
…All ears? Now take a lesson from the chemist
I’ve seen more convincing bags of tricks in Junior’s breakfast
I am the danger, so watch who you are talking to
‘Cause when I cook, Albuquerque’s bout to be a barbecue

Trapped in your cels for your crackpot of lies
Call Saul if you think battery flies
When your gaslighting caused Daffy’s demise
You’ll be the first to act like the rabbit, and hide

Fuzzball, it isn’t just your tail made of cotton
No kids, a bigger limp dick than Fudd’s shotgun
Impressive, a maverick even Skyler could take
You’ll still get the smoke when White fires Blanc

Bugs
Psst, hey pal, your Fly is out
In plane sight, and like you, it spiraled down
But I’m a fan of toonforce, so see me at the altar
Otherwise, put your slapstick away, Walter

The glasses, the fedora, your style’s the murderer
Quit knocking on houses like a creep, Heisen-burglar
You’re no heroine to Jane, and wouldn’t you believe it
Now you get a rise out of death, like a Phoenix

Beep beep, here’s a word of advice
Don’t throw fisticuffs at me like “that’ll hold em, awright!”
You’ve been in the Sky with diamonds, Blueballed from getting frisky
This dance will end when I take the waltz out, like Disney

Walt
Fine, I confess, I stole the show from the aggressor
I’ll simply forge a trap for the mad cross-dresser
Say the name aloud, and I’ll school all of your lame gags
Leave you seeing stars, when I crush you into Space Jam

Take a math class from an older guy
You’re like cancerous cells ‘cause you multiply
When I divide you and leave half your face left
The remainder is as much a Wacky Racist

I’ve had enough of your lustful urges
Shut your bars down, like MultiVersus
I’m a real hitman, with the better Whits, man
Poetry is just in the W business

Bugs Bunny vs Walter White

Resist (8)

Bull & Bear Variation 5

Contradiction (3)

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Rabi_battles
Twitter: https://x.com/rabi_funny
BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/rabbyfrb.bsky.social