featuring @h3artch3rades
circa — October 2021

But it feels like every time I try
You end up falling for another guy
It feels like you don't want me in your life
It's like you would rather just fucking die
And I hate to be that guy
But I don't really wanna waste your time
And I don't really wanna be too shy
But it feels like you're the only one that makes me feel alright

Two steps ahead, that's how I'm feeling
Thinking about me all night got you dreaming
And I believe everything happens for a reason
I want to feel like your air is what I'm breathing
I know it's hard for you
Just believe in yourself, we can make it through
You know I will always try for you
If you believe in me, let's make an attempt to push through

But it feels like every time I try
You end up falling for another guy
It feels like you don't want me in your life
It's like you would rather just fucking die
And I hate to be that guy
But I don't really wanna waste your time
And I don't really wanna be too shy
But it feels like you're the only one that makes me feel alright

It's so weird when you're innocent, but your heart hurts
You're trying to say what you're not worth
Not meant to spite you
But instead to inspire you
To step outside of your comfort zone
We've been on the phone
Going back and forth it seems
Arguing the same things
But it's never getting anywhere
And I don't wanna see you disappear
Even if I wasn't your first choice
I'm happy being at least one of your considerations
But I can't help but feeling the way that I feel
It's okay, it's just rain, I'll dry up
One day you'll make your mind up
I hate to say I told you so
I hate to say I told you so

But it feels like every time I try
You end up falling for another guy
It feels like you don't want me in your life
It's like you would rather just fucking die
And I hate to be that guy
But I don't really wanna waste your time
And I don't really wanna be too shy
But it feels like you're the only one that makes me feel alright

You're the only one that makes me feel alright
I said you're the only one that makes me feel alright
And I hate to be that guy
But I don't really wanna waste your time
And I don't really wanna be too shy
But it feels like you're the only one that makes me feel alright

Attempt (feat. h3artch3rades)

i don't even know you
you won't even know i'm gone
was it something i did wrong?
was it something i did wrong?

it's a cycle, swear i go through it again and again
and it's not going to end
promises you said you'd keep didn't mean anything
and you said, that it's all alright
but i don't wanna end what i didn't plan on stopping
but it's all up to you, now

in the back of the car, i stare at my phone waiting for replies again
i just sit there and watch 'til something pops up
once it does, i know who's a friend
and now that it's over, i doubt you'd ever wanna do that again
now i ask myself as i stare at your page, were we ever more than friends?

more than friends

The moon looks better than it did last year
Or maybe I'm seeing it different now
I never it see that clear

The first time I told myself
that I love me was when I was someone else
The first time I let the ice melt
was when he forced me to break out of my shell

I Was Someone Else

prod me, og by twikipedia

interpolated lyrics that i changed up a bit
made around november-ish

[PREMIERED ON CHANNEL 25]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edzx97fzNDg

#blue (twikipedia)

production by me

the wind beneath my wings, i never see it fly
i wonder how it keeps me in the sky
the floor beneath my feet, you love to watch me die
but im still here i need to ask u why

i like to think that sometimes im still around you
but then again, its in my head
i like to know things especially about you
but then again, its better off not said

How to die standing still

prod me

flp: https://payhip.com/b/UnMAF

lyrics:
@me
i cant keep on falling over 
i gotta get up push my luck cuz i cant do it sober
you dont understand now 
im just asking for some closure
cant be more than friends now 
swear i wont be like a bolder
how can i cope now i just wanna clear my mind
is it over and im wasting all my time
where to go now all these bad thoughts always in the center
pray ill forget her cuz without it i move like a winner

@cruseyyyy
i dont got what you want
and i know that its been hurting your heart
ive been tryna better myself but i know that i wont
tryna piece myself together but it all weighs a ton
i dont think that ill get better
its so wrong, but i cant stop myself
dont know where i belong
i try to run from your help
stay strong, thats what they try to tell me
but i been waiting way too long
somethings going on

@tabfart2025
yea im wishing just for snow in the winter
pockets getting bigger yea im good i figured
lost my love bitch i do not give no fucks
im still fucking picking it up
bitch im broken hearted lost in lust
im not going nowhere cause i made a promise
think i need more closure bitch im feeling nauseous
look at the time like wait now where tf you going
got a lot up on my plate yea and im losing focus

where i belong ft crusey + cluu

prod @ner0un-itsme @1crisis
i wanted to drop this a bit ago but its here now
 （ ´∀｀）
also on spotify


lyrics 
-
@minok0
if he trynna start we can run it up
bitch im climbin 2 the top i dont give a fuck
i culd nevr switch ive been a day 1
yeah!
bitch im hella rich throw it up for fun
ive been number 1 he at the bottem
hadda take his life cuz i fuckin saw him
no we can not solve it grab my gun i cock it
movin like a zombie cuz i been so off it (uh)

@lyn_U
throw me off once throw me off twice
dont wanna talk to u it doesnt feel right
im too impatient for this damn life
life on the line im running red lights
i dont listen to nobody i dont fuck with
im in ur mind baby watch me corrupt shit
u get lost in the crowd i cant find u at the function
talk real loud but the words mean nothing

@minok0
ive been number 1 he at the bottem
hadda take his life cuz i fuckin saw him
no we can not solve it grab my gun i cock it
movin like a zombie cuz i been so off it (uh)

@rarecryptidcreature
started from tha bottom ya u know we still here
talkin like u got the funds yea bro lets jus be clear
ya-a-a
i dont fuck wit u
ya-a-a
i dont fuck wit u
ya i be like stressed out
FAFO
bullet thru his window
idrc tho
yea he like the rest
y u actin like my friend bruh
yeah u aint wit us
bruh go and get ur swag up

day1 w/ lyn + deers

yeah i don't feel regular
feel like i'm not from earth
moving in retrograde
but i still feel the same
when there's no one to blame
you look to shift the blame
even if it's allowed
how's that fair
yeah your heart's a parasite
much to your own delight
but will you sacrifice
what's meant to be there
you're not allowed to fight
you allow yourself to find
a different reason why you won't
yeah that isn't peace of mind
that's just a waste of time
all of those wasted nights
trapped in my own mind
can't afford luxuries
to have it stripped from me
pausing myself to think
how did it come to this

this time is the last time that it's stripped from me
this time trying to be someone that's strictly me
weights off of the worst parts that inhibit me
hold on to the moments that i could keep
closed guard all these new thoughts under lock and key
stay strong for a new dawn that's coming for me
break off of the old parts of my history
wondering how much more it'll take from me
i know these feelings eat you alive
i know they're too much to hide
and when our hearts drift away
from what we're too scared to say
what we're feeling inside
to try to keep us alive
we come together as one
to find the means to survive

yeah i don't feel regular
feel like i'm not from earth
moving in retrograde
but i still feel the same
when there's no one to blame
you look to shift the blame
even if it's allowed
how's that fair
yeah your heart's a parasite
much to your own delight
but will you sacrifice
what's meant to be there
you're not allowed to fight
you allow yourself to find
a different reason why you won't
yeah that isn't peace of mind
that's just a waste of time
all of those wasted nights
trapped in my own mind
can't afford luxuries
to have it stripped from me
pausing myself to think
how did it come to this

How to die standing still

red letter diary

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isai

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