produced by me, additional vocals from @trustt & @1crusafix, lyrics co-written by @elliemillss

i watched the glass shatter im falling im falling
too busy staring away dont call me dont call me
no i cant even fix myself so how would i fix u
no i dont even love myself so why would i love u

if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
oh no u fucked it up again
ill hold the fort ill stand my ground til someone takes me down one day
ive got so close to falling down but everytime i find my way
cant even fix myself so how would i fix u
no i dont even love myself so why would i love u

i cant seem to find out what the problem is
u hit that part of me i act like i like it
if i were u id just let me go now
and id tell u how i feel but i dont really know how

if i were u id just let me go now
and id tell u how i feel but i dont really know how
if i were u id just let me go now
and id tell u how i feel but i dont really know how

oh if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
oh no u fucked it up again
ill hold the fort ill stand my ground til someone takes me down one day
ive got so close to falling down but everytime i find my way
cant even fix myself so how would i fix u
no i dont even love myself so why would i love u

is that all you wanted for me to feel
u cried for help but i cant hear u still

debris

the better version

u painted me a picture and i watched the colors fade
oh love liar
u were the only thing i wanted then u made the skies turn gray
oh love liar

im just a pawn in ur game
(a role u want me to play)
i watched the truth unveil
i see ur real face
im just a pawn in ur game
(a role u want me to play)
i watched the truth unveil
i see ur real face

wounds deep and raw
they dont believe what i saw
thought i was pure im wrong
tainted with many flaws
a burning ache remains
a constant haunting trace
in reverie im lost in an unfamiliar place

Love liar

this song is all midi guitar

that's one way to make me feel alone
i won't change until i've found my hope
give me a break (break!)
search for my answers, still at the first stage
i won't break unless they make me change

where does pain come from?
is it you or all the deep cuts
you'll forget me soon, so what
is it me or did you move on 
just to leave me in the dust
i've dug myself into this hole
it's in my head out of control
afraid of death but you killed my soul

one day, i'll stop caring about them
if i knew how to stop i would
my mom asked me "look what you've become"
but she's misunderstood
i'm passing by without a goal
no reason to keep my control
this fucking mental takes its toll

where does pain come from?
is it you or all the deep cuts
you'll forget me soon, so what
is it me or did you move on 
just to leave me in the dust
i've dug myself into this hole
it's in my head out of control
afraid of death but you killed my soul

Deep cuts

prod me 

additional drums @attc
additional piano @gr0lth
additional vox @trustt
bg photo by @zzoos
art by me
[sometimes its okay to not be okay]

[@qlein]
dance till i fall down
never been one to talk out
out of sight out of mind
never been one to cry never been one to cry never cry
but you know its been 
been one to cry,,

bring it back now back now
not attached now
stg you're complacent to run it back now
back back
wanna tell me how to act?
wanna tell me what im fucking up and tell me what i lack
bring it back now back now
not attached now
stg you're complacent to run it back now
back now back now
not attached now
swear to swear to, now

[@trustt]
think i spent too much time worrying bout myself
thought you only cared about your own health
now i spent too much time worrying bout myself
i can tell coz the way you act with me now
is there something that i can believe in?
tell me is there not? is there not?
is there something i can believe in?
tell me is there not? is there not?

[@qlein]

dance till i fall down
never been one to talk out
out of sight out of mind
never been one to cry never been one to cry never cry
but you know its been 
been one to cry,,

never been one to cry ft. trustt

the things i wake up to
the things i wake up to

If it hurts, then Dont act like it

I tried to take u away
I tried to take u away
I tried to take u away
I tried to take u away

Arise

I know I talk a lot
But I still try not to bother
If it was her choice She would end it all (I know it)
Don't know if I'd try to even stop her

Where is it at
What is my head thinking of
do what I have to
Call me selfish all u want
How about instead
next time we talk U just shut up
And hear whats said
and maybe ill get my point acrooooss

Bother

production by me

the wind beneath my wings, i never see it fly
i wonder how it keeps me in the sky
the floor beneath my feet, you love to watch me die
but im still here i need to ask u why

i like to think that sometimes im still around you
but then again, its in my head
i like to know things especially about you
but then again, its better off not said

How to die standing still

all by me
april 2025

i fell asleep into the next week
you couldn’t stitch me together, i lost my teeth
it makes my throat hurt when i say nothing
i miss when the silence didn’t sound like me

leave the porch light on, i’m not coming home
this key doesn’t fit anymore and the door looks wrong
leave the porch light on, i’m not coming home
your voice sounds so much worse when it’s in my phone

i wanna fall in love again even if it kills me like the last time did
i wanna fall in love again even if it drains me ‘til there’s nothing left

just call me again if it ever gets that bad
but i forget how to talk when you tell me not to laugh
i lose so much sleep when i try to trace those cracks
like maybe it’ll spell out everything i wish i had

How to die standing still

red letter diary