I can’t get this off of repeat because of this intro, I actually yearn for more songs that sound like this

five hours passed and i'm still here
i think my body's starting to change
sometimes it feels like your still near
hallucinating, see your face
i wasted all my time in bed today
and filled the cup with tears
come and watch me lose my sanity
yell it out and cheer

have you seen me at my lowest yet?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
i'd fix myself but i can't now
seen me at my lowest point?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
and i can't turn around

it's not about love it's about my life
i think i failed twice, last chance, my time
hide away from the dark standing in the light
no i can't even breathe when your in my sight
i'll spell it out for you
i messed it up i usually do
i got so mad hearing the news
but i'll go on to finally choose

do i need you?

have you seen me at my lowest yet?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
i'd fix myself but i can't now
seen me at my lowest point?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
i'd fix myself but i can't now
seen me at my lowest point?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
and i can't turn around

Crown lake

production by me

the wind beneath my wings, i never see it fly
i wonder how it keeps me in the sky
the floor beneath my feet, you love to watch me die
but im still here i need to ask u why

i like to think that sometimes im still around you
but then again, its in my head
i like to know things especially about you
but then again, its better off not said

How to die standing still

produced and cover art by me

+47 

lyrics:
put it away
i didnt let go
im still holding on
hold me in your arms
my names defamed
i need to let go
im still closing off
its eating me up

its begging me
its bothering us
wont u notice it
wont feed into it
harmless skin
wont u cut into it

where did it go
i didnt notice
ive shed my skin
ive let u in

i thought times moving slow
how did i throw it
throw it all away
how much more can i take

my skin

prod @lynyou
cover art @trustt

@lynyou
i got 2 racks on my body i got 2 racks for my twin
i cant switch up on nobody thats a mf sin
i feel like im chosen bitch all i do is win
dropped a bag on these jeans then i do that shit again
i just walked right out the bank boy i dont gotta play pretend
i got money coming fast bitch i cant even count to 10
i just walked right out the bank boy i dont gotta play pretend
bitch dont hit me up again boy im not ur fucking friend

@trustt
if i cut you off throw you out and you still complain
this is why i dropped you little bitch  don't taint my name
showing my true colors i hope god decide my fate
breaking through the canvas when i spray em i see paint
i got jewels on my body and especially my waist
that percent of hating i got all of in my bank
all that time you wasting i can tell you got no play
im so done with winning i got nothing left to say 

@deepinparis
if you cant catch all this shit im saying you not listening
how am i supposed to count these racks when i cant count to 10
i just took a break to come back better than ive ever been
ive been going too damn hard i need to ease it up a bit
i got so damn rich remember the day it clicked
you said you think its out of reach i know it never is
maybe you wouldnt sound so bad if you put effort in
when i get up on the mic im leaving an impression bitch

all by me
april 2025

i fell asleep into the next week
you couldn’t stitch me together, i lost my teeth
it makes my throat hurt when i say nothing
i miss when the silence didn’t sound like me

leave the porch light on, i’m not coming home
this key doesn’t fit anymore and the door looks wrong
leave the porch light on, i’m not coming home
your voice sounds so much worse when it’s in my phone

i wanna fall in love again even if it kills me like the last time did
i wanna fall in love again even if it drains me ‘til there’s nothing left

just call me again if it ever gets that bad
but i forget how to talk when you tell me not to laugh
i lose so much sleep when i try to trace those cracks
like maybe it’ll spell out everything i wish i had

Like the last time

demo from october 2024, originally for "drafts"
ib the cabs

she dances in the spotlight, i stay in the dark
i trace all my thoughts just to tear them all apart
i start to talk quietly when they get louder

even if i tried, even if you wanted to change my whole life
i’d always end up running in circles
running in circles
even if i died, even if the whole world had turned from my side
i’d always end up running in circles
running in circles

Running in circles

when i was younger, everybody seemed much older to me
now life is changing and i don’t believe anything i see
farewell, i always knew that you would make it out
i’m still going but as time goes on, the silence gets loud

are you glad that you met me now that we’re friends?
i always pictured myself with you until the end
i put my whole life at risk ‘cause i tried to fit in
family taught me what i know, they taught me everything
i end up starving myself, breaking my fucking hands
they never taught me to stop being codependent

i put down the guitar
sing to myself in my bed as i’m sinking in
i never thought it’d be hard
and when he passed, i had tried to breathe it in
who knew that life would be like this?
my old friends told me i’m psycho, and i didn’t like it
and i try so hard, i’m always trying to fight it

are you glad that you met me now that we’re friends?
i always pictured myself with you until the end
i’d rather kill my best friend than take my fucking meds
family taught me what i know, they taught me everything
if only i would’ve told them i’m a fucking mess
i could’ve learned how to stop being codependent

Codependent

Mask-off

song from february 2025 written in december 2024
i think i'll use this account to post throwaway songs

Even if it kills me

To do
-Expand the bass line. Some lovely drops and phrase end climbs to find there
-Consider more percussion


Pass for Soul

A nine day trek to Thorung La
Prayer wheels are turning
I never went this far
"You need to train"
Ah I'll be grand
Off on foot in this foreign land

Oh the beauty
Oh the graft
Just path and legs
Bring supply to pass
Sherpa temple balls in the pocket
I'm up that mountain like a rocket

Namaste

Orange suit
They called me jeez
Long hair and beard
Some Irish breeze
Here never ends peace and love
We're at the top
Ah, heaven above

The pass 5416m
The thinnest air for smokey breathers
To north, Tibet
From here, no pain
Just Earth at its best
Awww, innocent sane

No pain
Namaste
No pain

Over the pass to Muktinath
Going down was harder
For the untrained twat
But never a sigh that lasted long
Just look around to recharge the one

The highest I've been
The highest I've felt
Most beautiful scene
Imprinted to self
I found myself above the clouds
I came home with more soul
Himalayan shrouds

Namaste
Above the clouds
Soul endowed
Above the clouds
Soul endowed
Namaste
No pain

Above the clouds
Soul endowed


In 2006, my head wasn't in a good place. I had just come out of a relationship and couldn't find my zen so I decided to leg it to Nepal on my tod to find it. This song is paying homage to the trek I went on around Annapurna. It took 16 days and we walked 15-20 km a day. The highest point you get to is 5416m and it's called the Thorung La pass. You aclimatise at 4800m for a day and then up over the most beautiful place I've ever been and seen. Although there is no rope climbing it's still not easy. In 2014, freak weather took 43 poor souls doing what I got to do safely so this is dedicated to them. Rest in peace 🤍🧬

I found out a lot about myself there man and I'm ever grateful for that! I was 9 years into life with a mobile phone so that disconnection from the world of signal and internet was extremely liberating and I'd highly recommend it.
If life allows, I'll be back there again before I die...

I discovered a strength I didn't know I had. That was largely fed by the strength I saw in the Nepali people that before seeing the way they lived I wouldn't have thought was possible. Elderly people carrying weights of food and supplies that I could barely lift up the mountain with ease. The people are quite removed from material attachment too and generally show a deeper affection because of that. This is something I took home and I think as best as I can try and live nowadays. I don't really do things I don't truly need anymore... I guess musical equipment is the exception although the majority of my gear I have for 20 plus years anyways

I feel very lucky to live in a part of the world that allowed me to to do that trip at all as I'm sure the majority of humans on the planet cannot just make that decision on a whim and leave home for a reset

🇳🇵Never End Peace And Love 🇳🇵

🙏🏾Namaste 🙏🏾

If you're bored...
Here's a 9 minute video of my trip which lasted in total 80 days. I rented a motorbike for most of it and there is the best swing and Bungie jump EVER from a 160 meter high bridge towards the end of the vid. Closest I've ever come to flying as on one of the jumps the rope was tied to my back. So epic and so lucky! Thanks Nepal ✌🏾

https://youtu.be/P99vQE4n6qE?si=Eit88JjIvHLE7pEo

Running in circles

red letter diary

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