Shit sucks 😭

looks like u got what u asked for
i never read what the pages say
i always wanted a new way of finding myself

im nervous but im not shaking
asking her please dont take me
i never thought wed get so far
the road is blocked u fucking hate me

and she knows
she thinks deep down shes the one that i want
and i know
ive got 2 options i cant pick one

i get invited to these parties that i dont wanna go to
waiting for a call back u dont answer , do i even know u

we hit a roadblock

production all by me (+32)
art by me
1 out of 4

lyrics:
the tv's acting up
you doubt me everytime
you're looking at my face
i couldn't see your eyes

i nod away 
couldn't help it if i liked
still make the same mistakes
is it messing up if i say that i tried

i couldn't stay away from your mess
tried to push it down
i'm willing to say that it's been more or less
will it ever change around

you're all i know
do i even know you at all
is it something i need to hide
will you ever see my walls
you're letting go
you say your giving up
you wanna know
never satisfy the want

all i know

production by me

sometimes i wish i was someone else
but after all, whats the fun in that
i know i lost my patience last week
but after all, i know you love me back
but after all, whats the fun in that

i wonder how it couldve been
if i had left myself alone for one more night
theres so many things i shouldve said
im leaving myself in the past, ill leave her dead

i cant keep things to myself
because after all, whats the fun in that
and i cant lie sometimes, i want to fall in love
i get so worried that u might not love me back

i wonder how it couldve been
if i had left myself alone for one more night
theres so many things i shouldve said
im leaving myself in the past, ill leave her dead

Learning to love solitude

produced and cover art by me

+47 

lyrics:
put it away
i didnt let go
im still holding on
hold me in your arms
my names defamed
i need to let go
im still closing off
its eating me up

its begging me
its bothering us
wont u notice it
wont feed into it
harmless skin
wont u cut into it

where did it go
i didnt notice
ive shed my skin
ive let u in

i thought times moving slow
how did i throw it
throw it all away
how much more can i take

my skin

produced by me
supporting guitar by soju
mastered and additional production by @notlieu

lyrics

walk in and walk out
and get in and get out
youre what i want to be around
push in and push out
and get big and be loud
youre what i want to cry about

youll never be like me
cause youre crying in my arms
and everythings so hard
i said its right on
everythings my fault
cause im falling i cant stop
youre everything i wanted

ive been so bad at pushing for no push back
youre slipping through my fingers
and i know everything goes so fast
it makes me shiver
can you reconsider (it)

no youll never be like me
cause youre crying in my arms
and everythings so hard
i said its right on
everythings my fault
cause im falling i cant stop
youre everything i wanted

be loud

prod @lyn_u
cover art @trustt

@lyn_u
i got 2 racks on my body i got 2 racks for my twin
i cant switch up on nobody thats a mf sin
i feel like im chosen bitch all i do is win
dropped a bag on these jeans then i do that shit again
i just walked right out the bank boy i dont gotta play pretend
i got money coming fast bitch i cant even count to 10
i just walked right out the bank boy i dont gotta play pretend
bitch dont hit me up again boy im not ur fucking friend

@trustt
if i cut you off throw you out and you still complain
this is why i dropped you little bitch  don't taint my name
showing my true colors i hope god decide my fate
breaking through the canvas when i spray em i see paint
i got jewels on my body and especially my waist
that percent of hating i got all of in my bank
all that time you wasting i can tell you got no play
im so done with winning i got nothing left to say 

@deepinparis
if you cant catch all this shit im saying you not listening
how am i supposed to count these racks when i cant count to 10
i just took a break to come back better than ive ever been
ive been going too damn hard i need to ease it up a bit
i got so damn rich remember the day it clicked
you said you think its out of reach i know it never is
maybe you wouldnt sound so bad if you put effort in
when i get up on the mic im leaving an impression bitch

demo from october 2024, originally for "drafts"
ib the cabs

she dances in the spotlight, i stay in the dark
i trace all my thoughts just to tear them all apart
i start to talk quietly when they get louder

even if i tried, even if you wanted to change my whole life
i’d always end up running in circles
running in circles
even if i died, even if the whole world had turned from my side
i’d always end up running in circles
running in circles

Running in circles

april 2025

when i was younger, everybody seemed much older to me
now life is changing and i don’t believe anything i see
farewell, i always knew that you would make it out
i’m still going but as time goes on, the silence gets loud

are you glad that you met me now that we’re friends?
i always pictured myself with you until the end
i put my whole life at risk ‘cause i tried to fit in
family taught me what i know, they taught me everything
i end up starving myself, breaking my fucking hands
they never taught me to stop being codependent

i put down the guitar
sing to myself in my bed as i’m sinking in
i never thought it’d be hard
and when he passed, i had tried to breathe it in
who knew that life would be like this?
my old friends told me i’m psycho, and i didn’t like it
and i try so hard, i’m always trying to fight it

are you glad that you met me now that we’re friends?
i always pictured myself with you until the end
i’d rather kill my best friend than take my fucking meds
family taught me what i know, they taught me everything
if only i would’ve told them i’m a fucking mess
i could’ve learned how to stop being codependent

Running in circles

red letter diary

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