this song is all midi guitar

that's one way to make me feel alone
i won't change until i've found my hope
give me a break (break!)
search for my answers, still at the first stage
i won't break unless they make me change

where does pain come from?
is it you or all the deep cuts
you'll forget me soon, so what
is it me or did you move on 
just to leave me in the dust
i've dug myself into this hole
it's in my head out of control
afraid of death but you killed my soul

one day, i'll stop caring about them
if i knew how to stop i would
my mom asked me "look what you've become"
but she's misunderstood
i'm passing by without a goal
no reason to keep my control
this fucking mental takes its toll

where does pain come from?
is it you or all the deep cuts
you'll forget me soon, so what
is it me or did you move on 
just to leave me in the dust
i've dug myself into this hole
it's in my head out of control
afraid of death but you killed my soul

Deep cuts

five hours passed and i'm still here
i think my body's starting to change
sometimes it feels like your still near
hallucinating, see your face
i wasted all my time in bed today
and filled the cup with tears
come and watch me lose my sanity
yell it out and cheer

have you seen me at my lowest yet?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
i'd fix myself but i can't now
seen me at my lowest point?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
and i can't turn around

it's not about love it's about my life
i think i failed twice, last chance, my time
hide away from the dark standing in the light
no i can't even breathe when your in my sight
i'll spell it out for you
i messed it up i usually do
i got so mad hearing the news
but i'll go on to finally choose

do i need you?

have you seen me at my lowest yet?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
i'd fix myself but i can't now
seen me at my lowest point?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
i'd fix myself but i can't now
seen me at my lowest point?
do you wanna watch me fucking flip out
i'm a psychopath, i get it
and i can't turn around

Crown lake

I know I talk a lot
But I still try not to bother
If it was her choice She would end it all (I know it)
Don't know if I'd try to even stop her

Where is it at
What is my head thinking of
do what I have to
Call me selfish all u want
How about instead
next time we talk U just shut up
And hear whats said
and maybe ill get my point acrooooss

Bother

production by me, extra vocals done by @elliemillss
drums ib toe+squarepusher

this summer
i want nothing to do with u
this summer
i want nothing to do with u

i broke my promise
once again

this summer (i broke my promise)
i want nothing to do with u
this summer (i broke my promise)
i want nothing to do with u

i broke my promise i broke my promise

Broke my promise

single off the project (3 of 4)

production by me (+50)
art by me

lyrics:
my life is boring
but i like it that way
i cant afford it
i guess i should've kept my change
you're looking at me
im looking at your shoes
i shouldn't be this judgy
we both know I've lost it too

tell me if its ever gonna be alright
i know i deserve it
better off observing (from a far)
will you ever see me in that light
i know that you're hurting
im needing your warning

there's no saving me
there's no saving me
i've lost it all
i've lost it all

observer

produced and cover art by me

+47 

lyrics:
put it away
i didnt let go
im still holding on
hold me in your arms
my names defamed
i need to let go
im still closing off
its eating me up

its begging me
its bothering us
wont u notice it
wont feed into it
harmless skin
wont u cut into it

where did it go
i didnt notice
ive shed my skin
ive let u in

i thought times moving slow
how did i throw it
throw it all away
how much more can i take

my skin

produced by me
supporting guitar by soju
mastered and additional production by @notlieu

lyrics

walk in and walk out
and get in and get out
youre what i want to be around
push in and push out
and get big and be loud
youre what i want to cry about

youll never be like me
cause youre crying in my arms
and everythings so hard
i said its right on
everythings my fault
cause im falling i cant stop
youre everything i wanted

ive been so bad at pushing for no push back
youre slipping through my fingers
and i know everything goes so fast
it makes me shiver
can you reconsider (it)

no youll never be like me
cause youre crying in my arms
and everythings so hard
i said its right on
everythings my fault
cause im falling i cant stop
youre everything i wanted

be loud

demo from october 2024, originally for "drafts"
ib the cabs

she dances in the spotlight, i stay in the dark
i trace all my thoughts just to tear them all apart
i start to talk quietly when they get louder

even if i tried, even if you wanted to change my whole life
i’d always end up running in circles
running in circles
even if i died, even if the whole world had turned from my side
i’d always end up running in circles
running in circles

Running in circles

i just wanna pop out wit my vamps 
sitting wit these bands in my pants 
yea bands in my pants
i just wanna do my lil dance 
babygirl tell me whos yo manz 
yea tell me whos yo manz 

i just wanna pop out wit my vamps 
sitting wit these bands in my pants 
yea bands in my pants
i just wanna do my lil dance 
babygirl tell me whos yo manz 
yea tell me whos yo manz 

babygirl tell me what it is 
trust yo ass far as i piss
yea far as i piss 
babygirl tell me what it is 
tell me what it is 
yea tell me tell me tell me what it is

i just wanna pop out wit my vamps 
sitting wit these bands in my pants 
yea bands in my pants
i just wanna do my lil dance 
babygirl tell me whos yo manz 
yea tell me whos yo manz 

i just wanna pop out wit my vamps 
sitting wit these bands in my pants 
yea bands in my pants
i just wanna do my lil dance 
babygirl tell me whos yo manz 
yea tell me whos yo manz

Running in circles

red letter diary