This song makes me feel like i just got in a break up but im ok with it because i knew it wouldnt last to begin with 

Lyrics AMV featured on IDLEGLANCE YouTube: https://youtu.be/cQIw2va2uEU 🖤

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Thank you for listening to my stories

AZURE RAIN

Prod by: @quiteevil

Robstar: @robstar100

FLOWERBOY: @ix_flowerboy

Artwork made by: https://www.instagram.com/akagi_redsnus/

Lyrics: 

(Robstar)
I've been gettin' too high Imma crash boy
All I ever want is cash and some hash, boy
Imma pull up with a stash, it's the plan boy
All black on this little sad bad boy
Uh, I'm back with a new ploy
You gon' see me at the top when I rest on my throne
You wanna work? That's a bag boy
And I ain't talkin' 'bout a Lidl less you're talking gold
Through the light see a new toy
Talkin' 'bout me to her friends like I ain't gonna know
She wanna fuck but she too coy
Baby meet me out back, I can take you home

Ride with me
Cry with me
Baby wanna pop some shrooms?
Vibe with me
Get high with me
Spend it all thinkin' of you
Lie to me
Fight with me
Bury me in your room
You're tryin' me
Would you die with me
If I kill you too?

(SCAR$)
Done with all this shit
Die young in the back bitch
Broken heart gang
Fuck that I don't like it

Done with all this shit
Die young in the back bitch
I quit fuck it I don't like it
I don't like it

Before we die we gon' have fun
We gon' have fun
Pills when i cry do you want one
And i'm done
I'm done

(FLOWERBOY)
All I've ever wanted was a call
nightfall comes and I cant feel at all
Where'd the sun go 'cause he never said hi
Sleeping all day 'cause i wanna fucking die

My face hurts
Face hurts
I can't feel my face
My face
My face
Misfits outside out of place
Tell me do you see the same thing baby

All I've ever wanted was a call
Where you ever really there at all

Just the top
You've got claws
I can't feel my face at all
And I try so hard and i get so far
Tell me why you gotta be so cold to me
Just woke up come hold me baby

Du du du du du
I'm done

You were never really there were you
I wish that i could change the way i see things
I ain't going back
I don't give a fuck
I don't care anymore so don't call me
Baby

I'm done I'm done
I'm done I'm done

(SCAR$)
Done with all this shit
Die young in the back bitch
Broken heart gang
Fuck that I don't like it

Done with all this shit
Die young in the back bitch
I quit fuck it I don't like it
I don't like it

Before we die we gon' have fun
We gon' have fun
Pills when i cry do you want one
And i'm done
I'm done

Done with all this shit
Die young in the back bitch
Broken heart gang
Fuck that I don't like it

Done with all this shit
Die young in the back bitch
I quit fuck it I don't like it
I don't like it

Before we die we gon' have fun
We gon' have fun
Pills when i cry do you want one
And i'm done
I'm done

I'm done/I'm done/I'm done

I'm done/I'm done/I'm done (ft. Robstar, FLOWERBOY)

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Thanks to my homies: 
https://soundcloud.com/sepha-joey
https://soundcloud.com/slothboipapi
for jumping on the track <3

will I get used to this, 
always having dreams of where I die
waking panicked half alive

broken bones in my fingers
crawling out of bed just to survive
to exhausted cannot fight

don’t wanna be this don’t wanna be that
yea this life is fucking mine
get back and let me decide

feels like im just cursed in this body
hold a second give me five
can I fucking feel alive

cus I don’t understand this, I don’t understand this
I think the pressures getting through to me
I think im stuck in a place between
im sick of begging fucking on my knees

cus I would never wish this, would never wish this
on fucking anyone who fucking breathes
you’ll live a life always filled with deceit
now paranoid my only enemy is me

Sepha:

Tho nothing feels real online
I live there all the fuckin time
If only they really knew me
I’d hate to really know me
X2

But
Its as real as it is everywhere else

$lothboi:

I know I aint the same mother fucker that I used to be
Now its white wine sippin just to put myself to sleep
Fuck, if you saw, memories, you’d be under deep
Thankful I’m alive, but it hurts, fuck I cannot breathe

I know I aint the same mother fucker that I used to be
Now its white wine sippin just to put myself to sleep
Fuck, if you saw memories
You’d be 6 feet deep
And knocking on the gates of hell


I AM BREAKING
SOMEONE SAVE ME
RIV AND SEPH, GOT MY BACK, IMA MAKE IT

I CAN SHAKE THIS
FEELING OF ABASEMENT
KNOWING I GOT HOMIES I CAN TRUST, IMA MAKE IT

Beggar FT. Sepha / $lothboi

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin
big love to my homie: https://soundcloud.com/skylar_allen

watch the image of me move slow
your angry voice always just makes me stow
the fear I held as a child deep inside
until the skin starts to break and I crumble

down down down in the undertow
friends rise above me as I sink below
into this hell that I made here all on my own
im sitting past rock bottom contemplating suicide yeah wheres my soul

you said id never be anything yeah so why try
floating inside of a capsule till panic subsides
a lack of serotonin so we take SSRIs
medicated by someone else to keep my life in a line

I stay high so I can just pretend that everything is fine
I still have memories of my father in the back of my mind
decide to ruin a family name so I can just pretend
That everything will be fine when the morning starts with the end

pop a pill to relate
cant connect it’s too late
digging flesh wanting more
making cracks in the core

hells above so below
you’re tethered in my soul
in reverse watch the lights
fade back and forth till im gone

I fucked up I cant change
wait a sec ill explain
slipping tongues in the rain
the best times I’ll never gain

the forest always yearns
I hear it calling concern
until I fade away
maybe my life is in vain

Skylarallen:

I can tell from your eyes
See the hate
Deep inside
I’m too late
Never mind
Feels like I can’t get it right

Fool me once
Fool me twice
I come back
Kill the lights
Curtains up
Show is done
I won’t bring you back to life

I learned from every mistake
Trust is not something you break
And when I got too much on my plate
I just remember its fate
Who knew how much it would take
When i got myself in the way

Watching these clouds turn to gray
I’m washing memories away


They told me you won’t be nothing except a let down
Ill watch this world burn to ashes before i melt now
When they turned their backs I was laughing with every step
I went from searching for what’s right now I’m taking everything left
Can’t shake this feeling inside
One minute I close my eyes
Then it’s right back to a life
Where I’ve got nowhere to hide
Try to pretend that I’m fine
When I feel so paralyzed
I feel your words in my spine
With every day I’m alive

Now my backs to the wall
I feel nothing at all
And I wonder how I got here
All the pain from the fall
I feel nothing at all
I feel nothing at all
I feel nothing at all

The Fall Ft. skylarallen

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

black eyes staring straight through my skin
I can see the transparency within
it’s like I wasn’t even there no no no
sometimes the pictures that you took showed me I could disappear

I fucked up wading down the hospital isle
you said forget about me, I begged to stay for a while
so wrap your arms, wrap your arms just around me
turn to stone, lose control push away and be alone

I know you hoped i suffered I know your with another
cus hating me was your favorite past time
I know you break and stutter your minds fucked take another
another pill just to help you forget my name

my bones are now disordered kick down the glass now cornered
crawling out on my stomach just to feel more pain
dialed up you never answered, you left me here abandoned
could it be that this isn’t love

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

hospital beds, I see my mother give a smile
she'll hold my hand as I push myself into denial
you could have been there even as a fucking friend
I hate myself cus I couldn’t hate you when you left

broken knuckles hit the wall pain it shudders through my core
it’s not the type of pain that relates to my hand being broke
drive me to the hospital screaming at me all along
sorry im not perfect, im not worth it, I just really try my best

not to be too much, to fucked up
it’s hard to cope when you say it’s just all  in my head
cus our loves a messy masterpiece were both fucked up and on our knees
begging for a drug just to take away the fucking pain

Weathercast

linktr.ee/Rivilin
big love to my homie: https://soundcloud.com/leoivmusic

Rivilin

cus im fucked up left here on my own
the care crashed left my soul on the road
panic attacks stay close to home  
the words you say still cut my core

I chip my tooth yeah on the floor
heavy hands hit the face you love
take pills to cover what I saw
maybe im empty all along

your gonna hate what im gonna have to say cus heartbreak comes in all of the worst ways
im not mentally stable right now, ill be back you know ill call somehow
I hate myself for the way that you can’t bear to look at my face
I hate the fact that you fucked me up in the way where I feel disgraced

each of us has our own fucking problems to deal with
you know it wasn’t fucking fair on me but I still stood through it
but when I fucking needed you where were you to be seen
fucking hanging with my friend fucking him when you meet

so you buy us fucking MD so we feel a bit more
Im fucking doing it to fit in I want to take back it all
it wasn’t worth losing a friend over this shit
We’re so stressed the fuck out we lose our way

leo IV:


so obvious, I'm here alone and speechless
no secrets, why you always playing on the defense better off alone

she had a heart of gold and it turned to stone and mine turned to chrome
like baby where we left off yeah, I'm so fucking pissed off yeah

calm down take two pills baby yea I sleep strong
write bout you in the same song
can you tell me why we never get along

like that would be great, you was a fake
broken-hearted baby with a gun on her waist
I’m so sorry that I even wasted the days
yeah I love you in pain

Heart Breaker ; Dream Chaser FT. Leo IV

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Yeah, yeah break through the front door better call a medic
Yeah I feel like shit man its to be expected
cus you know that im not comming, know that im not comming
back from this back from this

take a hit from my blunt and I fade into the couch
new phone who is this, till you say it’s been a week
since I’ve been outside yeah I don’t give a fuck
got my homies and the crew sipping tea in the call


yeah I don’t give a fuck about anyone anymore
yeah I stay inside building walls up in my mind
cus we make lies, blame each other then here comes the fall
take a sip of my cup blanking out these awful thoughts

wanna push the drugs on me push me on the floor
until I end up cold in the freeze laying in the morgue
At least I’ll fucking  go out with a style when im dying
Gucci fucking jacket on my back hit my head in with the gat

im sick of fucking feeling like I wanna die
hang high with the noose bathing in the light
I got my homies right here with me
but they don’t understand a fucking thing

I wanna get up but im half alive
stuck in my fucking bed until I break and cry
I wanna just say im ok  
but sometimes this life is too hard

Yeah, running down the hallway gravity is giving
now im slipping on the floor I see your face and yeah your grinning
cus I hope these dreams fucking don’t mean shit
cus every day it feels like they wanna make me quit

so we sneak out to the backwoods rolling up a fucking blunt
laying on my back seeing clouds burst into the sun
yeah im sick of fucking overstressing
I always got anxiety on my mind can I fucking feel alive

wake up not real, feel like I am slipping here
dissociation in my head, two steps back, and it’s not clear
if im controlling my body or not 
I used to freak out on the daily about this shit and now im here

So I just fucking deal with it and let it flow
I guess it’s working out now don’t think about it and just go
yeah so what’s the point of fearing something that you don’t control
better let go, let go, let go of this

Azure Rain

Watch the official music video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV5H81HqvE4&ab_channel=Paradoxx

Produced by : Broque Beats

Lyrics

I Gave Up On My Excuses Now I'm Not Taking No Shit From No One
Especially Not You

Traces In The Sand
Now They're Gone
Swept Away With The Wind
Like My Past , It's Gone
I Don't Give A Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You

Traces In The Sand
Now They're Gone
Swept Away With The Wind
Like My Past , It's Gone
I Don't Give A Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You

Friends Or Foes I Got Them Both
No Regrets , I've Lived The Most
I Don't Feel Alone I Don't
I Said I Don't Feel Alone I Don't

Walking The Path That They Never Have
Maybe You Don't Get It , Maybe You Don't Understand Me
You Can't Fucking Stop Me Cause There Is No Turning Back See
all or nothing , guess i'm grinding Till I'm Rotting In A Casket

I Get Up When This Shit Gets Tough
If I Have An Obsession I'm Not Ever Giving Up
Think It's True
Might Not be Like You
Might Not be Like You

And I Take Pride In That I Mean Fuck What The World Says
I Pave My Own Path , Always Have Been
I Gave Up My Past, Now I'm Living In The Present
You Can't Hold Me Back
You Can't Hold Me Back

Traces In The Sand
Now They're Gone
Swept Away With The Wind
Like My Past , It's Gone
I Don't Give A Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You

Traces In The Sand
Now They're Gone
Swept Away With The Wind
Like My Past , It's Gone
I Don't Give A Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You
Fuck About You

Traces In The Sand

Stream On Spotify

Paradoxx - Traces In The Sand

OH WELL is the first single off my upcoming EP "COMPLICATED."

Stream OH WELL:
• Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/album/6L4regAZoQ3Gv7k9lNzKNL?highlight=spotify:track:5Yf5sr6B175uvI3VOQ58bk
• Apple Music - https://music.apple.com/us/album/oh-well/1606314032?i=1606314033
• Youtube Official Audio - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUHbm6iajfs
• Idleglance AMV - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdAlenc-ICs

MORE INFO AND CREDITS / THANK YOUS IN THE MUSIC VIDEO DESCRIPTION
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBkiFwt4A5I

COMPLICATED

Video

OH WELL

SPOTIFY: https://sptfy.com/6Ao6
SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/cairnmusic
APPLE MUSIC: https://music.apple.com/artist/cairn/1534352747
YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/iamcairn
INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/iamcairn
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/iamcairn_

Lyrics:
You can call me whatever you want
It'll never save you from yourself
Can't admit anything's your fault
So you live in your own made-up hell

Never willing to see it
Obvious you've been bleeding
Take it out on who didn't cut you
History repeated
Hurt the ones you hold close
Those who need love the most
Projecting all your flaws trying to hide
But it shows

I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling to find your peace
Says more 'bout you than me
When you talk all your shit 'bout me behind my face
I feel bad for you
I can see right through
The facade that you wear to cover up your wounds
I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling

Hate to see that you're stuck in your ways
Unaware of all the damage you cause
You can keep trying to run far away
But you won't ever escape from your flaws

Don't wanna throw you the blame
You probably grew up the same
Neglected through your youth, now you pay forward the pain
I know you do it to cope
But I just want you to know
You could do so much better if you wanted to grow

I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling to find your peace
Says more 'bout you than me
When you talk all your shit 'bout me behind my face
I feel bad for you
I can see right through
The facade that you wear to cover up your wounds

I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling to find your peace
Says more 'bout you than me
When you talk all your shit 'bout me behind my face
I feel bad for you
I can see right through
The facade that you wear to cover up your wounds
I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling

Personally

personally

Uppbeat Psychotic

last time

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

I see you crawling up to me on your knees
I see the rage building up in your eyes as I leave
it's like when I open my mouth reality stops and I can't control what I see
my body isn't mine now another person takes control when my mind breaks down

bursts of anger seem to cloud up my vision then my mind snaps back, hands covered in blisters 
now every day repeats in the same cycle, just stuck in a fog and I can let go of
who I was who I am who I could been, I can't live with the way that you just look at me
self-disgust builds a tiny little home right next to the place that I used to call my soul

what was I meant to say, how was I meant to react that way
a best friend confined, I wished he was dead I wish he never survived
the night I broke his face all the anger consumed and replaced 
I never came back alive the person I was, was the one who lost sight
 
yeah, emotions are boiling under my flesh, 
feel the stress rising up through my gut until nothing’s left
cus it's eating out the best of me, I tried to make you never see what's wrong with me
And even when I needed you, yeah you said that you gotta leave

Yeah so isn't that perfect I get it now, 
I search for something in places that won't be found
and then you find someone who builds a little cage inside your chest
where they change you and tear you down, find you gasping for your breath

and it doesn't help that best friends wanna, fuck with you
thought they had my fucking back guess im just easily used
I wanna fuck em with the gat blood splatters soak into shoes
Damn I guess it's what I lack, the courage to speak my truth

so I say it in these songs, yeah I fucking hate you
if I saw you in public I think id have to break a tooth or two
but self disgusts builds a tiny little home
where I find myself embracing the guilt all alone

Burn Notice

LYRICS:

You know I can't be someone that you depend on
Cus you know when you hit me up I will not answer
The consequences of separation are never easy
And when you’re all alone you hit me up, say that you need me

But I'm sick of that, I don't wanna be used to the grave
Panic attacks hit the stage open up I'm in a state
Dont wanna talk about feelings why can't I be left alone
I'm not coping, I’m not good, I didn't think that it would show

Yeah cus, I didn't want to be someone that you depend on
I didn't want to be the one that didn't answer
You said "Hold your tongue cus I don't want to hear you ever speak,
You just stay inside, haven't had a reply in a week."

"I hope you suffer in the bed that you have made for yourself
Are you happy all alone, in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah I don't care about you, I guess this is goodbye,
Cus I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

You know I couldn't help you when you just suffered
You know I couldn't be something that you wanted
Always getting up at me like I made a mistake
Push us back and then we break, constant fighting, say we’re fake

You wanna reprimand me for times when I didn't understand
Don't want to explain it to me so you give me the backhand
You say that I'm selfish for trying to be someone that just cares
But you run away, ignore me then just give me a blank stare

So what the fuck is up with it, I get it yeah you hate
Everyone who doesn't understand the pain that you create
You say you wanna tear them down in hopes that they never exist
I guess we all just have opinions and to you they don't mean shit

I see, "You suffer in the bed that you made for yourself
Are you happy, all alone in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah you know I care about you, I guess this is goodbye
And I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

Cautious

Cut me off (feat. BR4DY)

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Check out my homie: https://soundcloud.com/yates-xv

--

Lyrics

RIVILIN:


Yeah, separation comes all the time, 
like a book without the pages, im just left hung up in stages
always trying to find ways to mend the spine
you got a collar on my neck with medication just to try and fix my mind

So won’t you paint my shadow on the wall in blood-red
so maybe one day I can look at it and just say that im fine
so won’t you sketch me on your canvas till I’m perfect
until you cover the outlines till im nothing, till im nothing to you

So won’t you, yeah won’t you, yeah just leave me the fuck alone
Cus im better here on my own, because im better here, better here
Cus you know that, yeah you know that, I always welcome you with open arms
It’s time I let go and brace the calm, but you know that it hurts, that it hurts.


remember the time you drove me to the hospital
yeah I try to be a minute but I can’t deal with commitment
yeah everyone needs some help sometimes
yeah but you weren’t helping me you just want to take and leave

like a ghost, in the background, I float around
bouncing from wall to wall I don’t want to be a letdown
always hitting me up on the flip phone
Yeah I never answer cus I don’t wanna be dependent on

YATES XV:

I know it’s off-topic
But I don’t feel nothin
I was at the top now I’m sitting at the bottom
She saying that I’m dark like my hearts gone rotten
I’m in my fuckin head but I’m Steady fucking Poppin
White oxycodone
I don’t open up
These drugs that I’m takin
Make me feel loved
I don’t wanna dream
I just wanna run it up
See me in my past life
Lookin like a god

Man it’s so fuckin funny
All the shit that I’ve done
Say I’ve lived my life
I just sit in the cut
All these drugs that I’m takin
Got me messed up
And I know I’m not happy
But I’m smiling
Just for fun

So tell me that I’m happy
Tell me I’m all good
Explain away my pain
Let me know it’s all good
Fuck I need help
But I’m barely fuckin breathing
I don’t want help
When the pills give me feeling

JUST LET GO FT. YATES XV

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

Heart Breaker ; Dream Chaser FT. Leo IV

Rivilin

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