prod. DutchRevz
OUT SEPTEMBER 2ND *streaming below*
https://linktr.ee/1endie
time after time
the world spins it doesn’t stop when you feel like it should
how could you be living your best life if you’re always online
when you’re typing line after line
and you go outside
and you realize
the whole world is waiting for you
but now i’m lost

cause i never felt love like that on a first date
breaking my back overthinking is the worst weight
promise i could be your best friend if you let me
promise i could be your best man if you impress me
cause i never felt love like that on a first date
questioning my sanity
but you bring out the best in me
and i cant check my clock
cause i think the time is checking me
then running round the dot
cause i think someone is ahead of me

you can dream of
someone to lean on
the promises you keep up
should never feel wrong
i dont think you know what’s best for you
gotta keep my head on straight
cause i never wanna look back on the past
only 60 on the dash
and i promise it’ll last if you try a little harder
punch 100 on the dash so we go a little farther
while we’re trying not to crash
our car is running out of gas
and its all messed up in a world where your best is not enough
and i’ll always look back
cause you’re all i had

cause i never felt love like that on a first date
breaking my back overthinking is the worst weight
promise i could be your best friend if you let me
promise i could be your best man if you impress me
cause i never felt love like that on a first date
questioning my sanity
but you bring out the best in me
and i cant check my clock
cause i think the time is checking me
then running round the dot
cause i think someone is ahead of me

i never felt love like that on a first date
breaking my back overthinking is the worst weight
promise i could be your best friend if you let me
promise i could be your best man if you impress me

cause i never felt love like that on a first date
breaking my back overthinking is the worst weight
promise i could be your best friend if you let me
promise i could be your best man if you impress me
cause i never felt love like that on a first date
questioning my sanity
but you bring out the best in me
and i cant check my clock
cause i think the time is checking me
then running round the dot
cause i think someone is ahead of me

no one is ahead of me
no one is ahead of me
my head collapse
yeah i knew i would burn and crash
i wouldn’t crash if i knew i would burn
i wouldn’t crash if i knew i would burn
i wouldn’t crash if i knew i would burn
i swear i wouldn’t crash if i knew i would burn
i wouldn’t crash if i knew i would burn

spotify

love like that

HLFD

BXNES

out on all plats
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3E6yQkIDGNAIPpNBS1e38u?si=8e6e166a5bed45fe
p: @shadeaway

lyrics:
I see your eyes around the corner
I splash my face into some water
Yeah, paranoia, and disorders
It's not safe, I tried to warn her

She didn't listen 
yeah she was fuckin' gone in an instant
I start to lose cognition
It's gone along with my vision

It's hard to see, it's hard to breathe
I feel the shivers in my teeth
I think I'm dying, I start to grieve
My thoughts all kill me silently

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

I lead my mind into a ditch 
think I might pop my fucking lid
They tell me I'll go far and I'm just a kid
I know, but I don't really want to exist

It's so damn hard to stay awake
Bad thoughts, and all of these headaches
My minds a glass, about to break
Overthink about every step I take

It's hard to see, it's hard to breathe
I feel the shivers in my teeth
I think I'm dying, I start to grieve
My thoughts all kill me silently

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

I've been trying to find a way 
but some things don't ever fucking change
I try to suppress these memories
but they come back on full display

haunted

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/05H7DFe2YnGGrIokYRhAnG?si=8_dJSMLYQ8qMqEzGoBV5dQ
art by visualsbykura
prod: grayskies

lyrics: 
Hold me close
I need you right here by my side
I just can't seem to get this right
That's how it goes
I try so hard but I always find a way to sabotage

So won't you tell me what I did wrong
Spent so long tryna find out where I belong
Fucked up from the way you string me along
I'm so fuckin sick and tired of the love songs

I don't want your love, but I need it
Thinking about my past gonna leave me steady grieving
I cared so much, don't give a fuck if you believe me
I've never been smart, so it's not hard to deceive me

and I know it's all my fault
now I'm on my own

I hate you
You say you want me dead, I don't blame you
I don't get why this is what it came to
I don't remember one time that you came through

So save your words
It'll be a long time till we mature
My brain is fogged, my visions blurred
I guess I got what I deserved

I can't stand to be alone
Like why won't you pickup your phone
You break me down, and leave me broke
Yeah, all the pain that you invoke

Did I even love you in the first place
How can I wish someone the best in the worst way
I miss putting my arms around your waist
I hate seeing your face on the worst days

and I know it's all my fault
now I'm on my own

Hold me close
I need you right here by my side
I just can't seem to get this right
That's how it goes
I try so hard but I always find a way to sabotage
(so won't you)
Hold me close
I need you right here by my side
I just can't seem to get this right
That's how it goes
I try so hard but I always find a way to sabotage

dissonance

@1bearr - 
Just can't go back this time
I've made up my own mind
A flaw in your design 
Heard what you said, oh my oh my

[@rlvst]
Give me your bag, I left it in the bedroom
Pack my bags, then I'll tell you why I left you
So decieving, girl I try my best to
Trust your words but, I can't ever trust you

What you did you broke me in two halfs
You broke my heart, I can't go back
I'm crying fixed with some Cognac
I take the train I hope to crash
Why do you hate me so passive aggressive
You're the reason I've been so obsessive
Drugs to me, yeah they act so supressive
You're the reason I've been so progressive 

@1bearr - 
Just can't go back this time
I've made up my own mind
A flaw in your design 
Heard what you said, oh my oh my
Don't really care what you're saying
Tell me that you love me, i know you're playing
Know you wanna meet, but I'd rather stay in 
My own bed is where I'll be laying

@alkayn 
Its 3pm, haven’t left my bed
Never been the type to reminisce
but there’s this feeling in my chest
and I just can’t stop running out of breath

Holding my own hands, trying not to call
My eyes best friend’s been the drywall
I fucked it up, it’s all my fault
I drown my pain with alcohol
I don’t recognize myself
I keep my feelings on a shelf
I hate my being in itself
I’m sorry I can’t take your help

I’m sick of saying that I’m fine
I wish that I could turn back time
I don’t go up, I just decline
I’m just a prick by my design
Feels like I’m bad at everything 
Just fucking say it, you hate me
You moved on so complacently
My life’s a pot of agony

@1bearr
Both been here before
You saying we should try once more
You're rotten to the core
On your way out make sure you close the door

Just can't go back this time
I've made up my own mind
A flaw in your design 
Heard what you said, oh my oh my
Don't really care what you're saying
Tell me that you love me, i know you're playing
Know you wanna meet, but I'd rather stay in 
My own bed is where I'll be laying

rewind w/ rl + alkayn

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/6Tmexwurbyz7nPKtBRslBm?si=NjobR7qdR8OHEPCkW3W3ag
prod: grayskies

lyrics:
I tried too hard to make it right
I wish you'd see things from my side
I care too much
I lost my love

you left my place when I was sleeping
you never told me you were leaving
but it's alright
I'll let you waste my time

I see that look up on your face
you told me I was just insane
It turns out I was right
you left me out my sight

you're everything I ever wanted and that's why
I couldn't stand it when you left me out to die

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I'll never be the same
I'll tell you its okay

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I wanna blow my brains
I know I've gone insane

yeah it's all way too much for me
all that I say you disagree
you leave me down, I'm on my knees
all these cuts you make me bleed

passed out, think that I'm anemic
my thoughts leak out, I'm losing my reason
that fake facade, you're so deceiving
my days lately have been repeating

and I can't stand it
they stand there laughing
I wish I was somebody else
I keep my feelings on a shelf

and I'm so done with it all
I don't know how we got this far
should've done this all along
I still don't know where we went wrong

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I'll never be the same
I'll tell you its okay

I'll burn the flame and leave it charred
and maybe one day we'll restart
I wanna blow my brains
I know I've gone insane

flame

sidelines

apartment

--- lyrics ---

You pushed me away, but that's fine you don't wanna talk anyway
I see the numbers getting to your brain
We gave you too many chances
Still you can't take the blame
It's just wasted potential, the person that you are
Keeping it confidential, and honestly It's sad that
You're so revengeful, to people you know care about 
"How is your mental?" (I feel so dismantled)

Honestly, It was your choice of words
You could've used them better could've made this work
It was your own choice, now you're the one feeling hurt
You're so naive now, don't realize we fell apart

You can't save yourself, already made the wrong choice in a mental cell
And maybe that's your problem you should ask for help
Your condescending words the reason I farewell
Only here for the numbers can't
Save yourself, already made the wrong choice in a mental cell
And maybe that's your problem you should ask for help
Your condescending words the reason I farewell
Only here for the numbers can't

See the crash out, blame it all on me but you're the one that'll act out
You're the one who fired shots first, now you back down
Is it cause you care, or you'll get hurt, by the stats now
Claim we never fell out
It hurts to hear you lie on my name
Wish you would claim what you did but you never take blame
You were the one that started it ignited the flame
Now that you're gone I'm feeling better but it won't be the same

You can't save yourself, already made the wrong choice in a mental cell
And maybe that's your problem you should ask for help
Your condescending words the reason I farewell
Only here for the numbers can't
Save yourself, already made the wrong choice in a mental cell
And maybe that's your problem you should ask for help
Your condescending words the reason I farewell
Only here for the numbers can't save yourself

farewell

The Fall, Before the Rise

i say i quit
but i can't help myself
from letting you down