May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Tom Brady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Tom Brady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a quarterback before
Balls deflated on the floor like Tom and Eli just burst in the door
And started whooping my a** worse than before
They first were forced to throw over the middle (Ah!)
It's the return of the... "Spy-GATE, De-Flate, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Billy B. said... nothing, you idiots!
Billy B's dead, at least on mic he is! (Ha-ha!)
Men and women love Tommy B
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Tom Brady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his lineman’s butt
Flipping balls to you-know-who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's going on in Rex Ryan's bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Roethlesberger to hump a dead moose
"This ring means championships, this ring means championships"
And if you’re lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that I deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what the tuck rule is
Of course they gonna know what interference is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the NFL Network, don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us criminals
Who beat other people like women and kids [SLURP]
But if we can sneak into practices and videotape 
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't deflate
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Namath wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus –  (repeat 2x):]
I'm Tom Brady, yes I'm really Shady
All you other Quarterbacks are just into hating
So won't the real Tom Brady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?






[]
Peyton Manning don't gotta deflate his balls to break records;
Well I do, so #### him and #### you too!
You think I give a damn about PSI?
Half of you fans can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Tom, what if you did, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Aaron Rodgers?
Yo ####, Wes Welker better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to good old Peyton and Ben
And hear 'em argue over the Super Bowls I won and when
Little bitch, put me on blast on NFLTV
"Yeah, he's good, but I think he's married to Gisele,(hee-hee)!"
I should download some audio on MP3
And show the whole world how I threw you TD’s [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little AFC teams, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy thee [bzzzt]
And there's a million of ya, tryin ta be me
can’t  toss like me; who just can’t do a tuck like me
try to dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
LUCK just might be the next best thing but not quite me!



[Chorus]
'Cause I'm Tom Brady, yes I'm really Shady
All you other Quarterbacks are just not Spygating
So won't the real Tom Brady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Tom Brady, yes I'm really Shady
All you other Quarterbacks are just not Spygating
So won't the real Tom Brady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Tom Brady, yes I'm really Shady
All you other Quarterbacks are just not deflating
So won't the real Tom Brady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Tom Brady, yes I'm really Shady
All you other Quarterbacks are just not deflating
So won't the real Tom Brady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[]
Ha ha
Guess there's a little Tom Brady in all of us
#### it, let's all go to Arizona


The Real Tom Brady No Swears

Ryan Bailey 23

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