It seems
like the building I am living in is crumbling
I am no good with repairs
it might have been like this when I moved in
these days the doors won’t stay shut
I have surrendered my privacy
I did not expect staying here
to offer up a challenge for me


Not me
not me
as clever as I claim to be
not me
not me
burned by artificial heat


I swear if that’s your only grievance
you need to leave me the fuck alone
I was indifferent before this
and I will go back to that
mark my words 

It seems
like now’s as good as any of a time to announce it
I am going down with the ship
and I am not sad about it
you can have whatever you want
I don’t want to leave anything in the garbage
mostly the thing I was wondering was
who would even care enough to bother?

Not me
not me
hands are washed  they’re fully clean
not me
not me
a little less than a human being
 
go mad and mark

You Need To Leave Me The Fuck Alone

Mutually unintelligible
Do you remember my name?

there’s a change of the guards
I hope you’re ready
I plan to keep my eye on you
tender in the moment
only means the meat
is easier to cut through. 

When it comes time to grieve
I will grieve with you
When it comes time to grieve
I will grieve for you

Could you please inform them
I was dreaming you were dead?
Neutral ground’s been ceded
I repeat: they want our heads
easy to believe it that it has come to this
it would always come to this
to this

When it comes time to breathe
I will breathe for you

When It Comes

Lately I’ve
been dreaming my
tongue was swollen,
bitten, eaten out,
oh, but they were kind,
they left me with my
eyes, soft and closed
and moving,
generating movies,
a shame to go to waste
if there’s nothing I can say.
If you’d like to be replaced,
we can replace you.

I was holding out,
you were managing your doubt
so well until now,
so well until now,
but I was holding out,
you were managing your doubt
so well until now,
oh, well until later,
but I won’t control my fast cascading temper
forever.

Were the trees shivering?
Or are you hiding in them?
Makeshift shelter
for inclement weather,
an eye in the sky over my head,
or are you leaving me for dead?
Frost forming out here
while I search,
light pouring in the corners
illuminates my breath,
dissolves every circumstance.

If you’d like to be replaced,
you could’ve fooled me.

I was holding out,
shelter held under the clouds
so well until now,
so well until now,
I was holding out,
shelter held under clouds
so well until now,
oh well, rebuild later,
but I can’t control how fast they fell the timber
forever.

Call off the dogs,
call off the knocks,
I know you sent them,
I could use a little privacy,
call off the ambulance,
call off the avalanche,
you know I give into my paranoia easily.

Where are you going?

I know it’s you at my door
and I know what you want.

I was holding out,
checking locks and standing ground,
so well until now,
so well until now,
I was holding out,
so well until now,
checking locks and standing ground,
oh well, you’ll find me later,
but I can’t control my finger on the button
forever.

Call off the dogs,
call off the knocks,
call off the search for answers,
call off the graceless fruitless chase,
call off the dogs.

Dogs (Until Now)

I Wouldn't Want To Be Powerful (Pt. 3)

tell me

Zenith

evil ways

Kobe and Joe Swap Clothes

Paragraph after paragraph
You can speak them all
Until your breath is gone
There’s a surfeit of surfaces that you
Can write my name on
Motive lost
Fingers crossed
There’s a pit that you were
Tossed into 
You told them the truth
You think you owe them
But you were just a 
Lesser god
And you got caught

I thought I was taught
To be sinister and innocent all at once
Take what all you’ve got
To escape with and leave no remainder
Better be estranged in a stranger’s world
Than to be caught unexpected on your toes
I thought I was taught to be sinister and innocent

Bombs were tossed
In what was lost
I expected to find scraps of you
Scurrying to somewhere dark and warm
I was hoping you would learn from me
You were suffering
For the light you seek so
I told them a lie
I do not owe them my time
I wouldn’t pay a debt
To a filthy pest

I know that it’s unfair to you but
No one’s keeping score
Aging gracefully
Painterly
They don’t know they own you
They don’t know they owe you

Sinister & Innocent

You Are Compromised

i’m waiting for the evening
to poke holes in the ceiling
maybe with fresh air
I’ll pinpoint the meaning
the meaning’s corrupted
the hope I showed up with
got pissed away early
I swallowed a stopwatch
to keep time from slipping
away from the present
the more I get desperate
the louder it ticks
I played tricks on my allies
I coddled my foes and
god only knows
why I do what I do

pardon the fool that’s patient with me
pardon the fool that’s patient with me

they say don’t fall in love
with the first thing you see
don’t know who they say it to
they couldn’t mean me
my roots are thirsty and
my stomach is strong
and if I anchor here
I can never get lost
put stock in the simple
demand at least one 
of the smallest of seats 
at the table to speak
I say “i think it’s important”
they assure me it’s not
and honestly if they’re right
well, then that’s a load off

pardon the fool that’s patient with me
pardon the fool that’s patient with me

if I went panning for gold
how could I keep my hands clean (x2)

well the traffic is pointing 
away from this town
and if I let you down 
well I won’t be the first
stack collateral damage
on top of the plans
that contained quite a lot 
of destruction themselves
it’s a tactical failure
to fail to present
a positive presence
to the people you need
I mean the people you meet
I mean the ones you call friends
I mean the ones who give shelter
until you take off again

pardon the fool that’s patient with me
pardon the fool that’s patient with me

Panning For Gold

"this is a fun handshake you can do with your best friend" available on soundcloud now, elsewhere soon.

Panning For Gold

sadloaf

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