I haven't felt this way about a song in so long ❤️❤️

https://soundcloud.com/irby314

https://soundcloud.com/decksmusic


you said it too many times 
to everybody else it’s got no meaning left 
I don’t wanna close the distance 
I just wanna close my eyes until I can’t see 
Nothing but the stars in the sky 
light pollution ruins every single sight every sight
living Midwest life on the east coast 
It’s gotten old at this point I don’t hold it close 
I’m unabashedly bashing my own head in 
want something new I’ve got no answers left in 
I’m unabashedly lashing out in spite then 
what’s left to do that’s not over stretchin
I’m not accepting this 

(Decks)
i’ve been having a hard time adjustin
i don’t want it to amount to nothin
you unravel the spite and corruption
i know im stuck, whats the point in reduction
i, been holding on
nothing falling past the point
i took too long
i saw the problem with the story
all along
i wouldn’t have done that if i knew
how i was ending up
why? a troubled thought
gotta leave this fuckin town
i been here too long
if i heard what u had said
i wouldn’t be movin on
all the stars are burning out,
all my wishes gone
its far too often
my conscience
makes me regret the topic
i’m too anxious
over nothin
is this why im still stuck here?

murder the man but not the memory
east coast, now i know thats where they’ll bury me
far along the shoreline
i cant sit and waste my time x2


I just wanna close my eyes until I can’t see 
Nothing but the stars in the sky 
light pollution ruins every single sight every sight
living Midwest life on the east coast 
It’s gotten old at this point I don’t hold it close 
I’m unabashedly bashing my own head in 
want something new I’ve got no answers left in 
I’m unabashedly lashing out in spite then 
what’s left to do that’s not over stretchin
I’m not accepting this

unabashedly bashing my head in ft. decks (Irby)

@strivemusicau
@shizukesaaa
@autumndropsdead
@torvamia

(strivesad)
Caught in a cage with this endless pain
caught up to my age now I’m getting paid
Depression stays high and now the feelings changed
pour another bottle all apon my grave

you’ve been building roads
I’m building settlements

I keep craving another fucking serotonin hit
let’s flip the script

I don’t need no alliby
come with me and stay the night
Fighting for my life I think I’m doing fine

Ripped clothes now I’m going home
got these problems cause I feel alone
keep me in my zone

(shizu)
beamer swerving 
cuz i deserve the worst shit
bet she gon hit me up w/ 'love u but this isnt working'
might fuck around my blade till i negate the serotonin
now watch the liquid dripping red off slitted wrists, still frozen
find another guy and leave me dying w/ no notice
no i was never that man but fans in my dms saying im chosen
it gets hard to speak every want when everyone is seeing you choking
when words go wasting the space of audio waves to leaving me broken"

(autie)
my conscious is ever so heavy
i've been so cautious ever since you left
i've been holding myself down, with this self doubt
but nevertheless
i swear that i'll know when you need me
you know i'm right there when you're hearing that ringing
i'm patient a bit, but waiting's a bitch
i wish i could split and fuck up my breathing
but if there's anyone out there like me
smite like a god do and make me undying
bottle my goods for a world that is dying
plenish a helt that is tattered with lies
'cause i see through them every single minute
proof is in my dome, that's why i'm livid
tell me that you love him 'till i'm finished
i repel and let them be forgiven

(torva)
smoke until my chest hurts, til my lungs burn
think ill die soon, think ill go first
now my head hurts, never heard worse
if i lose you, need a gold hearse

never fuck it up, bitch i run it up
i go fucking crazy
til i do enough
keep my tommy tucked, never losing love
think i need some help
fore' i lose my trust

Cage w/ strivesad, shizukesa, autumndropsdead & torvamia [+ Tied For Silver x flesh]

www.carlbymusic.com
Featuring @lilskeleskrrt
Production, mixing, mastering & additional vocals by @horoshavibes
Additional guitars by @jolst

LYRICS
This is torture
You’re so often on my mind I doubt I cross yours
I can’t help but to fall short
I’m so easily ignored

How can anything compare to what we had back then
It was true love

Not sure I’ll ever love again
‘Cause you were everything I wanted
And the ghost of you still lingers in my room
You left me feeling haunted
Something so profound
Simply does not just die out
So I’ll hold you in these memories
‘Cause they're all that I have now

(skele)
Don’t understand why I’m still holding out
You’ve had enough of me
It hurts that we keep going down
You know that you’re the only thing I think about
You won’t stay here with me
So I'll just do without

Can’t save him
But we know I tried my best
We’re breaking
Taking back things you said
You’re the ghost inside that’s haunting me
But at least you’re still here watching me

Listen on Spotify!

Haunted w/ skele (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔ　ｍｅ　ｉｓ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｌｏｏｓｅ　ｅｎｄ

love all of you guys seriously so much.
this is the only thing  i ever want to do, and your support helps push me to continue with all of this; i would regardless, but i'm grateful to no ends for whatever kind of reception is given back. things have been seriously difficult as of late, and so all i can say is thank you for being here. thank you for listening.
shit's kinda cliche when i say that, but that cliche shit is true sometimes, and i mean it; whatever. thank you 
just the beginning 

prod @cartermetro & @vito2300 

you left (you left)
i crashed (i crashed)
now all we ever had is in the past
(it's all in the past)
i'll stay (away)
detached (from that)
until the very moment i collapse

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
but i couldn't give a shit
hammered down any spite, bring out the knife
lying outside again

and my notes are filled with solutions,
that you might consider delusion
the old me is buried in ruins
the present me is just a loose end
turned off the phone for monochrome daydreams
'cause i don't give a shit if i'm wavy
i mean look at what happened to davy

making a point to you's crazy
crissin' it 'cross like an apple, how tasty
stuck in a drench, while i'm soaking in sweat
more or less i'm expecting nobody to save me
pokemon quest on the blue 2DS
nowadays i'm a wreck, and i stench what i'm craving
heart full of rust,
when the musk fermentates in my chest you can leave what you're hating

i got a pain in my neck, can't stretch it
the hurt in my voice can't be heard over message
so let's make a break where we got no connections
only direction, never perfection
when i talk to the sky, it'll always rain hail
bulimia fucking me up 'till i'm well
"the truth doesn't sell"
leave me for dead with the dread in my head and no breath to inhale

004, blunt force on the baby
there ain't a lure with the potent to save me
getting by as a passerby,
keeping lowered eyes, i'm already hazy
not that i'm lazy,
just marinating in lost time they never gave me
i'm short on breath, should i recollect
or detach, while i'm still straining
i hate that when i fall back into relapse
it's me i'm saving
what a nuisance, when i do this
you're clueless about what i'm saying
so, deuces, 'cause few stick when the roof lifts
i'm sick of waiting
got mucus on my blue lips
from fucked shit i feel on the daily

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
why should i give a shit
hammered down any spite, brought in the knife
i wanna die again

my heart's open
why is my heart open
quick, gotta close it
quick, gotta close it

collapse [prod. cxrter x vito]

halfhearted (https://soundcloud.com/user-642636378)
FøRD (https://soundcloud.com/breckenford)

Greenwood:
ice on my shit, when i'm stopping it
(burning cold when i hit)
i just left an ounce where my body is
(up inside of this bitch)
up inside my head as soon i'm clocking it
(clocking shit and i dip)
they won't find a reason, it ain't obvious 
i promise it

i call out in the snow
(somewhere to feel life)
i wonder where it goes
(someone to take mine)
i don't know if you know 
(fade in the foglight)
that we've been here before
something else gotta give i don't know why

FøRD:
seems like every day time slips 
saying mayday
lucky life I live if you say that then you don’t know me
cuz i deal with the phonies and the frauds on the daily
they make me an insomniac why everybody hate me
they act like they all want me but they really just betraying 

baby often makin me so silent make me shaky
I’m waitin while faded

the lights up in our basement 
still shaded but luckily it’s still vacant

so come down when u wasted
I’ll change it to that playlist 
I’ll wash away the parts that you invisioned would be painless
girl you make me so brain dead 
like grab another latex get in bed get undressed and then I’ll say what to do next

halfhearted:
who’s next in line
got me walking through a dream
i’m on ur mind
but it’s nothing like it seems

u pushing me so far
my heart been living on the brink
gotta shoulder full of scars
i think you like to watch me bleed

but i don’t got time for you

lay me deep down i’m dancing with the devil by myself
where to go now
i’m sick of knowing you won’t ever help
you’re not helping me

Greenwood:
up the dose, yeah i'm taking two
steady shifting, i feel it move
i was losing my mind in truth
i was hoping you'd see it too
i was hoping you'd wanna go
i was hoping you'd see the pain
i was broken you wouldn't know
but that don't mean it don't hurt the same
up inside of my room
fuck the job, i'm aloof
drink the pain on the roof
nothing helps, i'm the proof
nothing changes in oakwood
couldn't text back cause my phone fucked
no one here even knows us
like i'm not here to be social

Someone Used to Live Here (w/ halfhearted & FøRD)

~2300~

Lyrics:
Eye's on my back
I wanted that
Moments lapse
And I collapse
So you can run and tell your friends
That i'm mental
All the words they use to keep it simple
Paranoid they're watching through the window
Hard to quantify the times I've missed you
Sift through the gore
Red on the floor
Beg me for more
Learned to sleep through the violence now
You let me down

Lot of old friends they don't wanna shake up
When I walk in all I get is fake love
Cut the grass saw the snakes on the way up
Try to code switch on me when the light's off
Lot of new friends hit me when they want sumn
Fake an ego trip i'm really on one
Was it dumb luck
Fell in with the wrong ones
Know why i'm still hung up on what it once was

And if you really bout it you can show me
One foot out of the door in case you're right
No use trying to force it i'll be fine
It seems you've finished your portion of my life

false-hearted

s/o my brother https://soundcloud.com/breckenford

lyrics

i never been smart
dont worry bout me bae u got a good heart
i kno i will love u till my times gone
n no we dont got time to think about the time lost

buckle up ur my overdrive
i feel myself spiral to a downward dive
n if u leave me in the end i can say that i tried
ill take the long way home
got shit to think ab
i had to teach myself to "not fall when u looking down"
spent a long time looking for myself
something different that i found
n i dont like it

im seeing violence when i close my eyelids
n we may struggle towards the end but death is silent
n she love asking why im drinking like a pirate
but when its all broken down
its just a science

(ford)
give me guidence
everyday im breaking down in the quiet
will it ever go away im steady crying
when u lie u overtaking got me dying
so indecisive
said im priceless then u say im violent
girl im trying
i dont gotta hide it
perfect timing
still wont stop the whining
so im reliant on the pain thru all the shining
but it make sense
all the times u broke me down n made me reset
made me realize all the cries were never silent
everything u ever said was only pretend
for no reason
i did my best to make sure u knew that i felt
every feeling in the world when i fell down
ill move away
go to town
find a new crowd
youd see what love was all about if u stick around
i know the truth now
it was over from the start
u a rebound
u could never reach my heart
such a let down
why is life so gd hard is this even allowed
is this even allowed

buckle up ur my overdrive
i feel myself spiral to a downward dive
n if u leave me in the end i can say that i tried
ill take the long way home
got shit to think ab
i had to teach myself to "not fall when u looking down"
spent a long time looking for myself
something different that i found
n i dont like it

death is silent w/ brecken (jacob vallen)

produced: tiedforsilver
feat: greenwood 
artwork: my amazing gf <3

lyrics:

( i would give anything to walk by your side again, alone my hands are trembling and i would make the sun drown)

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

(greenwood)

keep you safe, i don't know if i can manage
i whip it fast, sip it slow, its fucking static
guess you were right, never more than just an addict
i compensate, i overdo it fucking manic

all of that in my life though
i just really wanna go home
call you drunk from your friends phone
straight passing out at the dial tone
i don't what this life's worth
guess i don't see what you see (don't know what you mean)
nothing ever came easy when i'm face down in the deep

compensate i never get it right
run it different in my head like just the other night
see the mist and all the people on the other side
i know you're there and i don't even have to wonder

(epitome)

i do not have the time, nor a good alibi 
to explain why, how nothings been going right
i could roll the dice, but that would waste the time
of you and i, no need to try to chance it now

this loneliness as left a frown
on my face, it’s dragging me down
to the ground, now underneath where i can’t even hear a sound

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

i would make the sun drown w/ greenwood (tiedforsilver)

prod. @love_matt <33

pillies fuck me up, its a setback
like 1 day imma put the drip where my slits at
one way goin 90 in a maybach
fly by freeway in all grey ik they hate that

nun to say
obv its better i go ghost 
danny phantom
mental ransom stuck in my home
got a bad one, fell in love n met from up above
u aint lil wayne, bitch stop tryna tell me how 2 love
come out gq and came up
its heat like 2g in tha blunt
its green like super saiyan legendary broly in tha cut
when me n brodies pullin up
on my bro you want no smoke
bullet blow inside a dome
like on god you do enuff
(pillies fuck me up, its a setback
but where the fuck is my ket at
1 thing you could never say is i switched up
but you a fake, gotta dead that)

pillies fuck me up, its a setback
like 1 day imma put the drip where my slits at
one way goin 90 in a maybach
fly by freeway in all grey ik they hate that
pillies fuck me up, its a setback
like 1 day imma put the drip where my slits at
one way goin 90 in a maybach
fly by freeway in all grey ik they hate that

follow spotify!

maybach (love, matt)

shoutout to @kennyorlando for helping me finish this <3


[safeatlast:]
so cold
waiting for sum1 to hold
me as i try to get warm
get me away from the snow
at least thats how i used to feel

take me back to winters in toronto
take me back to drowning every minute in the bottle
take me to when i could be proud of myself oh
take me back to feeling sumthin other than the sorrow

AND I MIGHT FALL APART BENEATH THE TREES
THAT OVERLOOK THE SPOT WE USED TO MEET
I PROMISE THAT UR EVERYTHING I NEED
SHOULDA NEVER WORE MY HEART UPON MY SLEEVE

[Kenny Orlando:]
i wish it was easier than following my heart
cause its given me nothing but nightmares and problems
one minute im drowning 
the next second im all in
im sinking 
im falling 
right down to
the bottom
take me back to the time 
where we were doing fine 
both of us 
where the love was 
can you take me back to the city
where everything felt so pretty 
AND I HATE THAT EVERYTHING’S BROKEN
WISH I COULD TAKE BACK 
AND MAKE IT ALL PERFECT 
THE DAYS PASS
ITS KILLING ME 
FILLING ME 
WITH THIS COLD AND DARK HOLLOWNESS

[safeatlast:]
AND I MIGHT FALL APART BENEATH THE TREES
THAT OVERLOOK THE SPOT WE USED TO MEET
I PROMISE THAT UR EVERYTHING I NEED
SHOULDA NEVER WORE MY HEART UPON MY SLEEVE

fall apart

fall apart w/ Kenny Orlando (king theta)

lyrics ⬇️ 

every thing you told me was a lie
you can’t even look me in my eyes no more
once everything I wanted but now I been floor
i been dying from the torch 
i been flying thru the door

miss what we had
everything was perfect 
every night we would laugh
I don’t wanna burn it
cuz I’m honestly attached
god gave me a purpose
and you stabbed me in the back
why’d you do that

brand new mission oh I can't wait to get loaded in
ten more minutes til I'm out there counting dividends
yea
watch me mix it in tell me that there's more to this
before I forfeit, I don't need no more of this
I went to Florida with my family then I told them that
I don't feel much more like family when you give me crap
let me sit up by myself when I'm feeling sad
promise that ill come back i don't mean to make you mad

but never once did you ask me if I’m fine
i been smokin blunts so that I could ease My mind
every night it’s the same
I cant ever go to sleep
all the time try to change
but I never wanna leave

(casperrr)
going dummy at the function  
just so i can fuck shit
nah i can't fuckin function 
with the way u changed so quick
really thought you loved me
but i guess i was mistaken 
they way u kept pushing me back
hiding mthe fact u were taken

used to look up at people
and now most are at my level
all i have left is a house 
that's filled with air and our shadows
you left a hole inside my heart
turned from special to mental
like chaging howl for hollow 
i know it was not accidental

at this point i don't know what family is?
people stop caring about u when u stop being a kid 
i've been alone ever since i was 14 
left to deal with a bunch a shit, i don't know what i did
idk how i made it out
idk what it is
maybe i had more to do
maybe i was born for this
i just hope so cuz otherwise imma quit
life in general cause without music life is boring as shit

fall apart w/ Kenny Orlando (king theta)

safeatlast

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