I have eaten all of the vegetables that I can eat
Now it's time for me to go to bed
and see if I can sleep

Sleep for me?
and I haven't even eaten meat?

Yet I haven't eaten any meat
and yet I haven't missed a beat

no meat?
for me?
and I haven't even missed a beat?

No, it's only vegetables for me
but now it's time for me to sleep

A Vegetarian Ditty

La Fiestera, El Fantasmita,
La Princesita.

"THEY SAID THEY WERE SCIENTISTS. CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS. THEY AIN'T. NEXT IT WAS "ROCK N ROLL BAND," BUT IF YOU DON'T DANCE TO THAT THEY'LL TELL YOU THEY PLAY SERVICE EVERY SUNDAY AT WHICHEVER CHURCH YOU DRIVE PAST ON YOUR WAY TO WORK, BUT NOT THE ONE YOU GO TO, BUT ONE YOU AIN'T YET BEEN TO--

yeah you ask a pastor or his wife ain't NOBODY ever heard of them thas STILL IN TOWN to TELL YOU.

I WAS POLE DANCING TO FEED THE FAM-- DON'T JUDGE CUZ THIS IS LYFE AND SHIT GET REAL and STAY real -AND THE FEMALE (THEY ARE A COUPLE?) APPROACHED ME WITH FITTY BUT I DON'T MUNCH ON RUG YOU KNOW SO I GAVE HER FORTY-FIVE IN CHANGE and she leaned in and whispered to me, "pee-yoo dollar dollar why?" WHICH DON'T MAKE SENSE BECUZ YOU KNOW THAT DJ DEAF AS VAN GOGH BUT WITH NONE OF THE TALENT AND MY SONGS BE LOUD AS LOUD LIKE MY D-TOWN COUSINS KNOW I'M DANCIN AND THEY LIVE ACROSS THE  GREATEST GREAT LAKE OF EM-

but why i'm writin you right now is to warn you that they call themselves a different "B" and "G" name every time we're introduced-- hold up-- ok ok we good-- so yeah: "HI! Have we met?? LOVE your (random article of clothing/accessory you realize later on you OWN but WERE NOT EVEN WEARING THAT NIGHT)... I'm Bobbi and this is my (husband/brother/son/nephew/newfriend) Gerry" or "Billy and Ginger" or "Brisbee and Geraldine"... it's when they run into you somewhere odd like a laundromat and you alone in there washing thongs and such that they give their names as "Bubbles and Gumby" and she say he's her "Daddy" that you get "invited" to the "Executive Lounge".... all i'm sayin is settle your affairs before you go cuz even if you MEAN to say No.... you hear yourself say YES to everything they say.... like whatever they ask you to do, you do it, like you don't know what you're doing all the sudden and they just saw your shuffle and sidled on up to offer you helpful suggestions??-- and whatever they suggest sounds GOOD at the time, so you do it... you do things you can't undo.... you lose sight of things.... you ain't YOU no more, you just.... do... whatever.... the things i done.... and they ain't even finished with me.... I WISH THEY JUST KILL ME INSTEAD OF MAKE ME into THIS. you see ken and barbie and they seem outta place you TURN THE OTHER WAY but do not RUN because they WILL CATCH UP.

"pee-yoo dollar dollar why."

PU$$Y.

"Bubbles and Gumby."

bubbleGum.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU SEE WHAT I AM SAYIN?? THE DEVIL ONLY GOES WHERE HE HAS BEEN INVITED!!! i see you talkin and i know you love Jesus and muthafuckas act like that ol thundergod don't drop a dish and cuss becuz WHAT IS THUNDER, AMIRITE OR WHAT?? but you know jesus loves you for the you INSIDE, beneath the gentle beatdowns life has gave you to toughen you up, YOU KNOW he got KEYS to the you INSIDE, the girl from 123 Sesame St, lunchpal gal or latchkey kid cuz darlin, weren't we all back then?? But JESUS KNOCKS, YOU LET HIM IN."

my head fulla straw
and my heart made of tin. . . .

thou art my god
and i am thy adam.

Sermons, Prayers and Confessionals brought to you by the Clergy and Congregants of Bayou Love Ministries.

Written By: Rev. B. Love
The Hi! Priestess Koala Rae
Sister Scarlett Succubine

with Special Guest appearances by:

E. Damn Lie
Anomaly Jones
Sven Severin
Ilsa Vade

. . .and many, MANY more!

Synthesizer Accompanied Outer Space Sauce and Hallucinogenic Enhancement

music by benji lais, celia ross, koala coddington, steven st thomas, garett schroeder, bradley barrows, native dave, ryan kastel, nick smithey, jeremy dean, maya galvin, paul whyte, nick deluca, jim conner, casey frechette, matty pavelka, betsy wiedell, heidi gusts, scott johnson, andy berg, justin kring, davide rizzo, neve su di lei, ryan rusch, jake shrider, stephanie peterson, matt bearden, jeff linder, chekka rios, lisa forrestal, justin kervina, alex cervantes, kandi nelson, brian witko, dawvee huntrods, luke olson, erik fernquist, gordon maukstad, mle atwater, emily joy,  ryan bettenberg and timmy tao.