for saddening times for realith

//lyrics
i'd say anything to make me feel better about myself
you think i need your help?
you think i need
the constant reminders about how im nothing to you
and what i mean to you
and its f*cking hard
nothing will change if you play that card
you think you're so smart
you think that you're brighter than me
you think that you're higher than me
i take no interest in all the bs acquiring me
ive never felt so hated
their laughing at me and i hate it
this is a test of my patience
find a way to make it make sense
they just want to make me
worry im working on myself but
surely i don't want to, go back to that

prod me

nothing

expression

1 year old lil trap remix i fouhnd on the old files iykyk :3 derp

i wish you were here

//lyrics

In a rock-pile
I wont play my cards
In the dirt now
Infinitely harmed
Watch my eyelids
When they say im wildin
Check my stats now im drippin in dior
Stuck up in the background
I wont play my cards
Why do I get stockpiled
On my shoulders
Didn't waste time then
Its you I was guidin'
I just dont wanna
Get older
In a year now
get my dreams out
Check my paypal
I dont need no help no more
No more
No, more
I just need someone I can hold onto
I could make a break for her, but I dont want to
I dont want it anymore
Anymore
Any, more

Its not hard to tell you're lyin'
In my walls
Angels fall
Cus im compulsive
Compulsive
Im gon' drown in this shit I know it
Im still healin'
When you're talking to me
I dont feel it
If im all that I need
Then im winnin'
I still catch myself
Wishin'
That I had, someone
In that mask you look so dumb
I needed a lullaby so I wrote one
I want you on my side while we're still young
Im with reef in the back and we lay some
down, down when im around, round
I dont think i ever found, found
Where you at now
I know its been a long while
Always come through at the wrong time
Right now, im stuck

In a rock-pile
I wont play my cards
In the dirt now
Infinitely harmed
Watch my eyelids
When they say im wildin
Check my stats now im drippin in dior
Stuck up in the background
I wont play my cards
Why do I get stockpiled
On my shoulders
Didn't waste time then
Its you I was guidin'
I just dont wanna
Get older
In a year now
get my dreams out
Check my paypal
I dont need no help no more
No more
No, more
I just need someone I can hold onto
I could make a break for her, but I dont want to
I dont want it anymore
Anymore
Any, more
Its not hard to tell you're lyin'
In my walls
Angels fall
Cus im compulsive
Compulsive
Im gon' drown in this shit I know it
Im still healin'
When you're talking to me
I dont feel it
If im all that I need
Then im winnin'
I still catch myself
Wishin'
That I had, someone

guidance [p. sai]

@redhxrse (producer)
@oroahh
@lizablaise
@1spoder

@redhxrse
i feel the snowdrops touch
see them glisten in the sky
feeling cosy w a hot mug of coffee, 
oh, what a life!
n the nice warm glow of the fireplace
god, it could put me to sleep
i wish this season would never change
feel like I'm living the dream

hear the bells start ringing
and the snowman says hi
while the children in the distance
have their little snowball fights

@oroahh
it's 6pm now and the sun isn't out
the breeze is so cold when we were walking about
she was calling your name from like outta the crowd
don't leave her side yet
is it real bad that i doubt you?
don't get me wrong i feel like shit too
i feel the same
you fucked up this shit in like every which wayyy

@lizablaise
babe, it's getting so late
walk up to the door, you're driving me home
the glow on your face like lights that adorn
all the streets leading back to you
made my mind up, you're all i choose
last winter broke your heart in two
spin the record and watch our blues fade away
the mistletoe's waiting, the angels are pacing
impatiently i sway, then your hand's on my cheek
and the sleigh bells start ringing, my winter gloom's at bay

@1spoder
were you satisfied?
i lost my head in the snow, you found it
i wish i made it all up, i've fallen in love
there's no point to dance around it
i wanna watch all the snow pile up
frostbites cover my arms
up to my heart
there's no point in lying, it causes more harm
oh my dear you look frigid
the snow falls the same whether which way you put it
can you promise me one thing?
to let it down slowly

snowdrops

made it 2 years back

lyrics 

what did i do to you
sat down and i stay true to you 
i watched them laugh at you 
and that day made me mad at you

i said goodbye to you
white ivy
what do i mean to you
i said a lie to you
white ivy
what is the difference then
he didn’t love her
what can you ask in an offer
he made a son and a daughter
baby did not know his father 
always stayed close to that bottle 
he found mom in a brothel 
i had to learn what hurt is 
i can tell you it’s awful 
i had to lay where the dirt is
i knew pops was an asshole 
he made a son and a daughter 
baby did not know his father 

what did i do to you
sat down and i stay true to you 
i watched them laugh at you 
and that day made me mad at you

expression

ruff