trouble (ft wednesday) before it was hyperpop

trouble (acoustic)

i learned

lyrics:
And at long last the time has come
To watch the water watch it run
Away from us back to the sea
But we won’t ever see a thing
Cos it moves faster than u think
Can u picture skating rinks
And sliding at the speed of light
Just like we did that summer night,
Do u recall just what u said to me
Do u realize what it means
Maybe not but that’s okay
I might have to go away
cos I can’t take much more pain
am I getting in the way
i’m distraught and now my thoughts are eating away at my brain

And could u see
the look inside my eyes the moment you got out and stared right back at me
How could it be
My stomach starts to cramp when ur around and start to speak, am I a freak
I hope it’s me
That you can’t help but notice when you’re walking down the street, I hope it’s me
But could it ever be
Well I don’t really know but do I wanna know or just keep wondering

I wrote ur name big in the dirt
And collapsed because something hurt
But I don’t know just what it was
It took my breath it took the sun 
Out of my eyes for just a sec
And scared me shitless so I checked 
to Make sure I still had a pulse and it was slow, oh that was close
And u ran over just to check on me
And u kissed me on the cheek 
But now it’s been a couple months
And u have disappeared for what
Maybe im too daft to see
maybe ur in front of me
Maybe I should stop looking, maybe I should stop looking

And could u see
That for u I’d tag along, just for you I would do anything
How could it be
did u find somebody else already, find somebody much better than me
Wish I was free
So I could move along already, I know you’ve been hiding just from me
But could it ever be
The thought that haunts my brain so often, the reason I would give u all of me

and could you see (demo)

gone (unreleased studio cut)

writing, production, mixing, and mastering by me
faketaiyo on drums (thanks)
lyrics:
see ur eyes inside the mirror
and blood inside the sink from fishing chunks of glass out of ur mouth and in between your teeth
the lsd was strong
and now you're feeling weak from losing blood but about it u must never ever think
cos then you'll start to spiral 
you'll be a husk for weeks and wake up in a bed that isn't yours wondering why u can't breathe
does it seem familiar
lookin back at me and thinkin that i wasn't real and that i wouldn’t ever ever be

and you haven't changed a bit
ur still thinking about me
ur jus like how i left u back in 2017
i thought that u would back off
leave me growing up in peace
But ur still just out of view 
Do you know I’ve always seen

flowers litter rearview
disastrous scenery created by false information but embraced by all of me
and you always knew what happened
but left me in the deep and made the ones i loved the most want nothing but to watch me bleed
and now im by myself
and i miss everything from having friends to leaving home without people looking at me
and i always knew i’d lose u
and that you’d turn them all around, to hear the sound my soul would start to scream and cry aloud

and you haven't changed a bit
ur still thinking about me
ur jus like how i left u back in 2017
i thought that u would back off
leave me growing up in peace
But ur still just out of view 
Do you know I’ve always seen

It’s the way that resurrection is portrayed
Knowing second chances only happen if u know what moves to play
There will always be some trouble waiting for the day
Where u trip over urself 
and u fall into the snakes, into the snakes

I know I’m getting older
But u can’t even see above the wall you built around my legs imprisoning my feet
But now I’ve broken out
And I’m a better me but ur still riding on the coattails of the lies that you could breathe

snake pit

lyrics:
i forgot already
why you told me i should go
but i remember being drunk and asking u to use ur phone
must have made myself look dumb
cos all i talked about was how i started rolling joints last night
and that i couldn't wait to go to california
and i'd ask u if you'd been and what's it like
up in the mountains, and i'll add i've lived in texas most my life
and you would roll ur eyes but i would ponder off and never notice you were mad
and you call me saying shit that sounds like this

what's it like in phoenix
do u miss me 
are u scared
how's the weather over there
do u still play cyberpunk 
sorry that's a stupid question 
i just don't know what to say 
2077 might be better days

arizona's hot but not as hot as texas or nevada in the summer 
and the drive was kind of long because i drove through by myself 
listening to bon iver and some nirvana
and that song blind pilot sang
it made me think of u before i saw the sunset 
in colorado in the rain and so i pulled my car on over 
cos i heard ur voice and this is what u said

what's it like in phoenix
do u miss me 
are u scared
how's the weather over there
do u still play ESO
sorry that's a stupid question 
what's a better one these days
we're all burnt out lost ourselves washed down the drain

what's it like back home and do i miss you?
yes i do
yes i wanna be with u
we don't have to talk too much
that's ok cos i do bad with conversation
and we’ll live in mmos
we don't care
and we don't know

phoenix, arizona

time (alternate version)

wondering how (acoustic lullaby version)

lyrics:
my trust is fucked from getting fucked over again
why's it so hard for me to buckle down and let somebody in
i keep on getting close to letting go and floating in the wind
i get so caught up in the feeling then it brutally begins
i was an addict back when doin drugs could make you better friends 
now i'm an addict with nobody who will stick thru til the end
i wish i had someone to cry to when the crying starts again
drowning in feelings in the mirror seems more likely fitting in

elastic organs they will fill my stomach up and i am plastic, i am lead, and you wish that i was dead, 
but i can't collect the data cos my processor is busted and my printer paper's jammed, can i fix it with my hand and you say no
you have to hang up all your clothes before you go to find a home
or else mother she will scold the both of us
people stuck inside the cusp of losing everything we love, should we risk it all for drugs or loosen up 
we're growing up, we're growing up
and i can't handle holding cups
my attention span is rough and you don't know 
how much i miss being in love with someone 
you can hear my heart a bumpin
playin to the beat of nothing

my trust is fucked i think that i won't trust again
until someone comes along and starts to act just like a friend
i get excited when i think it's closing in, i’m closing in
but excitement starts to fade, and the lights begin to dim, begin to dim

the beat of nothing (demo)

I wrote this song when I was living in Colorado.  The idea for the song popped into my head while I was sitting out on my front porch, staring up at The Flatirons.  I ran inside, grabbed a pen and paper and finished the song in less than an hour.  This was an unusual song for me because I had to challenge myself to get inside the head of someone who thinks very differently than I do in order to write it. 

Ricky Rodriguez played lead guitar on this track. One of the many things I love about Ricky's playing is his endless creativity. No matter how many times we played a song, he came up with a completely different lead every time. And it was always exceptional. That never failed to blow my mind. I love his work on this track.

Recorded on a long ago rainy night in Dale Johnson's living room.

Unknown Album (12/13/2009 8:04:23 PM)

Tumbleweed

goat- little kid cover

she/her
https://linktr.ee/scruffpuppie
willows weep for me
notes for growing up (demos) presave link in the linktree

the beat of nothing (demo)

scruffpuppie

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