on repeat! I resonate with this song a little too much lol

Deadly Fun

Cold

Perfect World

Nathyn - Self Destructive

AXAXC – DEREALIZATION (FULL ALBUM)
🧠 A sonic descent into addiction, masculinity, mental collapse, and identity death.
🕳 Trapcore • Deathcore • Nu Metal • Screamo • Ambient Sludgecore

“This cell doesn’t have four walls. It has my face.”

DEREALIZATION isn’t just an album — it’s a mental event. A full-body confrontation with trauma, weed addiction, spiritual despair, fractured masculinity, and the mask of perfection.
It’s about waking up in your own life… and realizing you don’t recognize yourself.

This record is the culmination of every psychological arc from previous AXAXC albums.
Legacy tracks like “Perfect”, “Tongues of Sin”, and the remastered “End of the Line” find new meaning here — not as isolated songs, but as symptoms in a larger mental breakdown.

🧠 THEMATIC ARC:
Tracks 1–5: The high. The mask. The beginning of collapse.

Tracks 6–9: Duality of identity. Cracks in the mirror. Begging to be seen.

Tracks 10–13: Shame, sin, and spiritual erosion.

Tracks 14–17: Total breakdown → false salvation → reluctant acceptance → final breath.

🔁 LEGACY TRACKS [Derealization Cuts]:
- The Nail in the Coffin
- Perfect
- Tongues of Sin
- TABOO [Remastered – Derealization Cut]
- God is a Woman (And She's Ashamed of Me)
- The Devil Said I'm Okay
- End of The Line [Remastered – Derealization Cut]

These were written long ago, but they always belonged here.
This is where their meaning finally lands.

🩸 HIGHLIGHT TRACKS:
I Am Already Dead [Alpha v.1 & Beta v.1]: The breaking point of addiction and the fracturing of self.

- Walking Dead (P1 & P2): A weed high as synthetic salvation — until the crash. 
- Prison: A scream for release from a self-built cage.
- The Mirror Lies: Rage against the curated persona you’ve become.
- God is a Woman(And She's Ashamed Of Me): The shame of spiritual failure and feminine rejection.

💀 AUTHOR’S NOTE:
“I don't want to be here anymore — but I built this version of me for you.
The man made perfect.
The man made empty.”

This is a neurodivergent death spiral in audio form.
If you’ve ever felt broken trying to be strong…
If you’ve ever loved the high more than yourself…
If you’ve ever built a mask so strong you forgot your real face underneath…
This album is your mirror.

🔥 RECOMMENDED IF YOU LIKE:
#Slipknot • #Korn • #SleepToken • #Nothing,Nowhere. • #BreakingBenjamin • #SlaughtertoPrevail • #Loathe • #FallinginReverse

DISTORT. DISTRUST. DESTROY.
#AXAXC
#Derealization #MentalHealth #Neurodivergent #WeedAddiction #MalePressure
#Deathcore #Trapcore #NuMetal #Screamo #SoundCloudMetal
#NewMusic #EmotionalBreakdown #DarkMusic #Recovery #Trauma

Prison

This World Is Ours

Eternal light

Lyrics:

It starts with silence...
And silence turns to scars.

I came home to a war I didn’t start
Fighting ghosts in the dark, falling apart
You looked right through me, eyes so cold
We said "forever" — now it just feels old

Every word you didn’t say
Stacked like bricks in the hall each day
I begged for warmth, you gave me stone
So I learned how to feel alone


And I swore I’d never change
But the nights got strange
Looking for something real
In all the wrong place


Nowhere to run
When the fire’s at home
So you chase the heat
Just to feel less alone
We do dumb things
When love turns to dust
We break what’s left
When we lose what we trust


I found comfort in the chaos, arms I shouldn’t hold
It wasn’t love — just escape from the cold
Made mistakes I can't erase
Just trying to remember how a touch felt safe

You were absent — I was reckless
Two hearts numb, two minds defenseless
I still wore your name in the back of my head
But I let it drown in someone else's bed


And I told myself lies
Just to make it alright
But the guilt never sleeps
It just grows inside


Nowhere to run
When the fire’s at home
So you chase the heat
Just to feel less alone
We do dumb things
When love turns to dust
We break what’s left
When we lose what we trust


You ignored my cries — now hear the sound
Of everything we built burning down
You turned away, I turned into someone else
'Cause I couldn’t find you — so I lost myself


We break down — we break down
We break down — then burn it out!



I didn’t want more…
I just wanted you
But silence became
What we both got used to


Nowhere to run
When the love disappears
So we fill the void
With anger and fear
We do dumb things
When we’re broken inside
But all I wanted…
Was you by my side


Just you...
By my side...

Nowhere To Run

Track3 "Walking With Jesus" A song about building a relationship with Jesus

Nathyn - Self Destructive

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