These Spontaneous Reflections offer a light hearted exploration into the forest of and maize of meanings relating to our Existential edges around what it means to be Human with a curiosity for life and its Mystery.  What is your experience of this 'edge'?  Do you have a sense of this 'Mystery'?  What resources and creative responses might help in this Human enigma?

More on Simon and Presence coaching and courses:
www.living-presence.co.uk
https://thebuddhistcentre.com/

Human Dilemmas, The Mystery, Insight Curiosities and the Fresh Edge

Tired of being relentlessly stuck?  Overwhelmed and despairing about the stories and feelings you can't get out of?  Listen to this for inspiration ....... go to  Healing and Creativity Course to learn skills in deep freedom https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing

How does change REALLY happen? Find relief from STUCK Fear Anxiety Sadness Anger Hurt etc

Are you Hostage to Your 'self' ? Do you often feel stuck and trapped by your sense of 'I AM' / self on the path?  This is one of the oldest nuts in Buddhism, it doesn't need cracking, just putting back into the soil.  
Get space and ease from the tight grip & tyranny of 'I am' !! Here is an invitation to explore the dichotomy of self and non self to experience yourself directly as open and spacious meeting these different selves with compassion. Learn to meet all challenging aspects of yourself with a compassionate and (hopefully)wise way of relating that offers deep healing and a sense of true peace.  Let the sovereign Nature of the Sensing Body Claim itself Back!

https://www.living-presence.co.uk/copy-of-focusing-1

Are you Hostage to Your 'I AM' ?  Navigate the self and non self dichotomy become open and spacious.

Some personal reflections on closer relationships and parenting.  This is not an educational guide purely a personal free flow sharing on some principles based in Presence relevant to closeness, space and growth in the relational journey and dance with some quotes by Rilke - 

The point of Marriage.
“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Love as the ultimate task!
“To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke
Presence coaching and training events NVC Focusing & Teaching 2024 
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/livingpresence

Presence in Couples Relationship and Some Parenting Insights

Here, I share a wealth of valuable experience, looking back from a deep sense of wellbeing and balance. For the younger and middle aged man, having come though severe 'abandonment' as a child that left me vulnerable to a profound lack of safety and an acute sense of anxiety and fear. OCD and clinical depression were strategies and desperate measures to survive an insecure and ever changing world. For more on what I offer for meeting our existential edges: 
https://www.living-presence.co.uk/                                                       
Focusing https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing                                    Nonviolent Communication https://www.tickettailor.com/events/nonviolentcommunicationnvccoursesandcoaching

Beyond OCD and Clinical Depression: My Journey into the Light.

Just like the 97 year old philosopher who was haunted by the spectre of his own death, bereft of an existential meaning and significance, is this our fate? 
You can watch this inspiring documentary here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX6NztnPU-4&t=12s

Is there any sense in you that when you stop, there arises a sense of discomfort, not allowing you to entertain a deeper restfulness? Could it be you experience yourself a lot like a fish without an air bladder, if you stop, you sink! Being 'driven' is a cultural norm, where does that come from and how might you address it? Spring/ summer 24 Focusing courses here: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing

Are You Hostage to the Machine? And the Art of Sky Gazing

The immediacy of life, the word that comes to me is ‘Availability’ a quality of a natural kind of equipoise that’s in a very soft receiving 360 mode.  A question from a friend is ‘Is the sequential awareness of the body and its parts as a vipassana practice useful?’ I say, every invitation into awareness and experience, every practice you undertake is useful! Its all really valuable to explore and experience in as many ways as possible with as many techniques as possible.  The invitation here is to play, to explore, to hold lightly.  I am back to the image of the beach, the sand under the feet, the sound of the waves of the birds and waves, the smell of Ozone, all this rich experience is inviting correspondence, is inviting resonance.  It’s the same with the inner world, it is a universe in itself.  At first glance given our education, given the way we have compartmentalised our experience into labels into feelings, into states like depression or anxiety, or happiness, that cartesian 'I think therefore I am' mind has really triumphed in many ways in getting us to believe we are a fixed identity with a foundation for being rational with an ability to be deductive and is touted as really the only knowledge we need. That kind of dualistic thinking mind will impose itself upon us through our conditioning and lead us believe we are nothing more. Meditation then, you could say, is the invitation to go beyond that paradigm, where reason and information and the intellect is hitherto to be known as the king, the sovereign owner of all we are and who we are and should do and be. It has led I believe, into the impoverished ‘having and getting’ paradigm, and living a life that is very disconnected in many cases.

The Presence Portal: Free yourself from Self Torture [in the Spiritual quest].

I wish to explore the term ‘Idle’ in one of Mary Oliver’s poems (The Summer day) ‘how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields’  
This is more about curiosity rather than education.  In the face of our cultural norm, perhaps something in us can feel hostage to being busy – unless we are seen to be being busy productive and useful, we are therefore not, we are not of value.  Maybe Mary Oliver’s is presenting the value of just ‘Being’, that does not need any comparison, it stands on its own, the value of who we are without additional identities that socially can be valued. Who are we really, in a way?  Just pausing into a space of gratitude, of care, of appreciation for the sensing and the connectedness that we are.  Sensing the earth with gratitude, just the contact, and gratitude to the stars that have actually given birth to us, if not quite literally, we can see the causality. The mystery of this sensing body, inviting awe and wonder, as Rumi would say, ‘Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.’ Bewildered by the stars, bewildered by the trees and the forests and by the lakes and rivers and oceans, bewildered by the beauty of the flowers. Gazing upon one specific flower perhaps bringing to mind those petals and colours, perhaps it has a scent, and breathing this scent, breathing in the colours, and perhaps bewildered and appreciative by the love we receive and give to others. Valuing these connections as the most precious thing, family, friends and all sentience. Resting in this mystery. Inviting a quality of warm awareness and love into this sensing body with each ion and out breath. Resting where the feet meet the ground, resting where the body meets the spaciousness, and resting where this spaciousness meets all sentience and the stars beyond, resting in the perfume of life.

Beingness and Bewilderment. Gratitude to the Stars. Who are we Really?

Exploring the theme of uncertainty, inviting a space of awareness, a grounded Presence, just sensing contact of your feet on the ground, noticing how it is for the body to connect through the ground and the seat? You are being held and supported by the earth. Connecting with the theme ‘Uncertainty’ not knowing, maybe ambiguity, checking in with yourself how that lands, the meaning for you, what images, feelings, stories – noticing what that is like to entertain uncertainty, at least in this very moment. Right now, we are in a place of not knowing, there is no particular direction to this meditation… in a way right now, we are in a place uncertainty, of not knowing.  And if you explore, you might find uncertainty is more about a mental projection… and if you explore, uncertainty is more of a case of mental projection…. It’s; What are we doing… Where are we going…. I’m not quite sure where we are going….’ It’s how we respond to the stories based on projection. Some of us might really enjoy not knowing, there is not one response, we could respond tin different ways at different times.  Meeting uncertainty is about meeting parts of us, some of which could be really happy, and some really anxious, depending on the time and place.  Maybe were never going to find certainty, that is the nature of uncertainty.  Maybe there is a middle way between uncertainty and certainty, perhaps there’s some kind of refuge that brings us into relationship where we can hold things in Presence and not be overwhelmed, and enjoy some kind of equanimity, equipoise however rough the seas maybe, we can navigate our boat skilfully.  Hoe might we do that?  Well. Let’s look at the stories, is it really what story is here, in other words we are looking at the seas, is it really rough or calm, and just sense into the feeling tone, some nervousness, some excitement, curiosity, anxiety?  Our first port of call is to create some grounded safety in the sensing, always available at all times.  Inviting a sense of contact with the ground feeling mother earth supporting you, from which you were born, stardust, sensing contact and resting briefly with these sensations where the body meets the earth, resting with these sensations, letting them rest in themselves. Inviting the whole body to begin to rest in its whole self, whole body breathing and grounding, savouring contact and sensation. And you body can sense the space around you, beyond the room up into the stars, sitting beneath a canopy of stars above you, and the sharedness of the community also breathing. And now from the whole of this, something in you is like it is, excited, trepidation, excited? And we could put our hand on our chest or tummy, bringing kindness and care to whatever is there.  Its being held by the sensing, held by the stars, being held by the body and if you like you can just say a little ‘Hello’ to the part in you, whether happy, sad, afraid or neutral, I celebrate you. You have needs that you are wishing to connect me with, your intention is to look after me. Thank you! Keeping it company in this way, Grounded, spacious, whole body, kindly breathing, welcoming.  Perhaps you have a need for safety and reassurance, security and in this present moment you have the creativity, resourcefulness, the resilience, the humanity to meet any situation in a way that is enriching and supportive. And now just take time for the body to rest in the body, it maybe you would like to rest in the breathing or where the feet mee the ground, keeping yourself and being kept company for a period of time.  In the broad expanse of existence, there is neither not knowing or knowing, there is just a clear open space that is carefree, always available at all times. Resting Here.

Do we stand we stand on thin or thick Ice? Uncertainty Truth and Safety

Meet Uncertainty and Fear with Safety Resourcefulness Resilience Presence Meditation

Attuning into and from this Mystery called being Human, this ineffable puzzle... I think the difference between a puzzle and a mystery is that you can solve a puzzle, but a mystery is to be lived. One can apply all kinds of concepts and words to the mystery, but we are not the words – the finger pointing to the moon; the finger is not the moon, the map is not the territory, the experience is ultimately not words – but we do need them in order to guide and share in the sense of relative reality. Just pausing here, on the brink of this mystery and who looks through these eyes and ears and senses? Perhaps just sensing the earth, the contact under the body.  The earth that we are composed of sensing the visceral Ness and solidity, perhaps the shape of the whole-body sensing. And how does this body know where it begins and where it ends, especially when it can hear sounds afar and near?  Sensing space beyond the four walls out into nature, above the treetops, above the clouds, into the vastness of the ether up into that canopy of astral body’s of stars, milky ways, galaxies, constellations from which this planet was born; stardust, as a result our stardust bodies being breathed by the universe, animated.  Maybe pausing what’s alive inside?  What would like to be held and sensed more fully, received, healed, appreciated, acknowledged? Life living itself freshly forward as we open to the fresh edge from the old by letting things be the way they want to be, maybe inviting a quality of warm awareness and kindness and curiosity.

This Mystery Being Human Stardust Focusing Attunement

An image came to me, of my friend who was into gliding a lot, he told me about a new glider. He said, ‘You know, when you are up about 5000 feet, up in the sky and you start spinning out of control because you hit turbulence or some strong disturbance, what do you do?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, pray perhaps?’! Summon all the gods?  ‘No, that’s probably not going to help you. With the new gliders what you do is not do anything, take your hands off the control stick and you let go, and the glider self corrects’.  Curious, so it’s spinning down from 5000 feet, down to the ground, who knows how long that would take? But you let go and the glider self corrects, I was very taken with that ability for the glider to self-correct and for it to reconnect with a sustainable flight trajectory.  In the middle of a spin, what is the automatic reaction?  Get hold of something, to hang on.  Maybe creativity and Focusing are somewhat analogous to that glider situation, that in the clunkiness of life in the challenges of life, something in us wants to hang on, to manipulate a direction, navigate to the original course, to get that comfort, and the last thing it wants to do, is to come into Presence. I believe that’s the analogy, coming into presence is an availability that is not trying to manipulate anything, it just comes into the open place; Grounded, open available presence. In which that something is playing itself out, so we move from ‘I am anxious. I am going to lose my job’ … ‘Something in there’ is like that right now, and now in the relational field of being with that something…. The glider from that spin starts to level out into an altitude that is stable. Its like that, so focusing is an invitation into the quality of stability and groundedness. Something unstable can be there but a bigger stability founded in presence can surround that even. Then the glider can land somewhere, right! Then we can get out of the cockpit, mop our brow, and say, ‘Wow that was a real ride, ride’ right.

Glider in a Spin what not to do in a panic Focusing reflection.

The essence of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is the willingness to connect—openness and availability to connect meaningfully with oneself and others. (See NVC courses: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/nonviolentcommunicationnvccoursesandcoaching) This connection is evolutionary, heartening, fulfilling, liberating, and integral to being truly human. Communication, one of humanity's core qualities, is not only about intellectual meaning but also visceral, embodied meaning. Deep, meaningful connections nourish, heal, and expand us.

Criticism of NVC as “violent” reflects our culture’s conditioning, which often promotes blame, judgment, and fault-finding. In politics and everyday life, we focus on identifying faults rather than solutions, perpetuating paradigms of right-wrong and good-bad that shape how we communicate. These habits, taught from childhood, foster disconnection and comparison during interactions, making true connection rare. Seen through this lens, NVC can appear manipulative or superficial, as it may be reduced to a technique for personal gain rather than fostering connection.

Like any paradigm, NVC can be misunderstood or misapplied. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), for instance, offers transformative tools but can also be misused for manipulation. Similarly, beginners in NVC may unintentionally approach it as a means to "get their needs met," leading to superficial or disconnected interactions. This can be painful for both parties, reinforcing the default cultural paradigms of blame and judgment.

At its core, NVC values connection, acknowledging our innate human need for it. Loneliness—whether in solitude or among people—highlights the importance of meaningful connection. When rejected or hurt, our responses often come from anger or pain, perpetuating disconnection and cycles of judgment and despair. NVC calls for self-awareness and other-awareness, inviting us to move beyond reactive patterns and connect with what is alive in ourselves and others.

Critically, NVC emphasizes intention. It is not about achieving specific outcomes or "getting what we want." Instead, it focuses on compassionate, caring connection. The intention is to honor both our own humanity and that of others, even in moments of hurt or dissatisfaction. Without this intention, communication can become violent or manipulative.

NVC challenges us to lean into another’s world with empathy, valuing their experience on their terms. Demands—where no choice is given—arise from intention. A soft, open, compassionate intention fosters choice and freedom in communication, transcending mere words. The quality of presence we bring to interactions, whether with people, animals, or nature, defines NVC.

Ultimately, NVC is about compassionate presence—soft, caring, and open. It may be firm but avoids imposing authority. Critiques of NVC often misunderstand its principles, focusing on its structure rather than the compassionate intention at its heart. True NVC seeks connection over control, empathy over judgment, and mutual understanding over superficial agreement.

The Essence of Nonviolent Communication beyond Superficiality and Techniquism

"Certainly, Focusing and the Dharma are not separate in this world. They are like the ocean and the horizon, and the great sky above—not separate, breathing itself, living itself, reveling in the majesty of things."
Courses and Coaching: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing

"The fullness of itself rests in the fullness of itself. In this way, there is no polarity, but neither would one call it non-duality, so no duality and no non-duality."

"Presence rests in Presence. So, I guess my language for the Great Liberation, you could say, is Presence: Pre-Sence, that which comes before sense, that Mystery."

"Focusing is not about focusing. When something becomes about something, Buddhism becomes about Buddhism, or Nonviolent Communication becomes about NVC, it’s as if we go to a revolving door and we keep revolving around inside it."

"The function of a revolving door is to act as a portal into the very space or different space that you are wanting to get to."

"Hopefully what is happening is I am entering my Humanity more deeply. It’s a natural expression of my Humanity, Focusing, NVC, Mindfulness, Buddhism, they are not about themselves, they are pointing beyond themselves in a way."

"All true liberation teachings, according to her, always point to direct experience. If they are pointing to ‘Talking about’ Enlightenment, the great freedom etc, then they are not the true teaching, they are merely a dichotomy promoting and reinforcing itself."

"She mentions this term ‘Being Perception’—becoming perception, entering the realm of perception, as if we drop into the realm of perception rather than talking about it, in this way becoming awareness itself."

"The felt sense is the heart of Gene Gendlin’s Focusing, not feeling, but the felt sense, which is more than a feeling, it’s the inclusive whole to an experience that is alive."

"When there is a whole perception of itself, it is an invitation into full sensory awareness from its own terms as it drops into itself, so to speak, there is neither a duality nor a non-duality, and it just rests in itself."

"As this body here is listening to these sounds, so to speak, it can also notice the earth, the body can sense the whole shape of itself even as these sounds manifest and the spaciousness from the skin’s perspective, as it were, radiating out beyond these four walls up into the blue or dark night sky with a trillion shimmering diamonds."

"It’s the pregnant empathic pause from the whole sense of itself, and as this does so, and as the words and labels and interpretations, as it were, are just offered to space in the totality of things, they no longer have dominion over creating a split."

"The whole of this that owns itself, that, as it were, is hearing back from itself, or even as it were, is pausing in the hearing, the availability of the hearing back from itself, the whole of itself, the whole of itself hears back from the whole of itself."

"The map is not the territory, the finger pointing to the moon is the finger pointing to the moon, this is invariably an invitation for the moon and the light of the moon to inhabit itself. It just bathes itself in its own light."

"Focusing has been a portal for me personally into the mystery of the whole of this, playing itself out. Focusing, which of course, is not about focusing!"

Focusing Insight Duality Non-duality & the Wisdom of The Felt Sense

So I was asking you—how do you know when you're moving into a healing mode? And how do you know when you're not?
What's happening inside of you? What's going on in there?
How do you know?
Do you know? 
Because sometimes I say to myself, when there's an edge, when it's a bit challenging: Where's the healing edge in all of this? Is it in the whole thing? All of it? Because I'm not quite sure where it is. So I just ask: Where's the healing edge in all of this?
And I wait, you know.
Sometimes, it comes back and gives me something—maybe a certain shape in the body.
Sometimes, it doesn’t. But it's like—oh, it's like that.
It’s like that in there.
That’s the healing edge. Oh, okay. And then I can say hello to that, right?
So it's an open curiosity rather than an interrogative, pointed question. See what I’m saying?
For me, the question is: Where does the felt sense begin? And where does it end?
And I'm asking you with curiosity—where does the felt sense begin, and where does it end?
Just drop into that. Ask your whole body—what does that mean to it?
Does it begin in the heart area? The tummy? The throat? The face?
And where does it end? Around the shape of the heart? In the torso?
Does it begin in the sternum? Or is it more intense there?
Wherever it might be—does it radiate outward?
Does it end where the feet meet the ground?
Where the body meets the chair, or the bed?
Does it end at the skin, with the sensation of clothing?
Or does it extend to the shape of the room, or even beyond?
Where is it alive?
And if there’s something going on—say, a bird chirping or sunlight on your face—is that part of the felt sense? Or not?
What do you mean by the felt sense?
This is really important when it comes to healing.
Because—what’s the point of it?
I mean, maybe it’s heresy to ask—why do we have a felt sense?
I mean, it’s so mechanistic. But if you did ask, it’d be interesting to see what answer comes back—if anything comes back.
And if it did, it wouldn’t be a definitive answer.
I don’t think it would be. It would probably be quite complex.
Or maybe the answer would come through a gesture, or a sound, a symbol or metaphor
So—is the felt sense static? Or dynamic?
Is it in one place? Or many places?
Can you sense it in the whole experience? Or just in a part of it?
All these curiosities—along with many others—are questions.
And they all relate to the meaning of healing.
Because—well, what is healing?
And how does something know how to offer freshness from the old?
How does it know how to do that—especially with something that’s been stuck for 10 or 20 years?
And then, suddenly—there’s a surprise when you feel that melting into something genuinely different.
There’s a freshness appearing.
Where does that appear in a felt sense?
So—those curiosities.
Yeah. I’m wondering how that lands with you—without coming so much from your head.

.

Tsunami Surfing, Healing, Liberation and the Thrill of the Felt Sense Reflection

Identity and the Mystery of Language
I want to come back to this word: identity.
It seems to me to be the crux of so many issues in the world — and in our own worlds, too.
It’s not just the world — it's the bounding off, the compartmentalization, the fixing.
Healthy on a certain level, yes. But in Focusing, there’s an invitation:
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I a man? A woman? Neither, or both?
Am I defined by the group, by another individual, by something in me?
Would a rose be just as sweet if it were called something else?
How does the label define the identity, and how does the identity define the label?
Language and experience — it’s a very curious mystery.
"Terrorist" or "freedom fighter" — what is this?
There are no true "nounings" — there are some, but predominantly, experience is verbing.
A sense of this-isness rather than "I am," "you are," "we are going to do."
Fixed identity — the "I Am" — creates a rigid duality. Then the problems start:
My nation, your nation. My goods, your goods. What's yours is negotiable; what's mine is mine.

At the End of the Map What then

Identity 'I Am' 'Something in Me' Who are you? Existential Focusing Reflection

Sitting with the Felt Sense
The felt sense comes alive when we sit alongside something and be with it just as it is. This is perhaps the most challenging thing a human can do. On one hand, you don’t want to be with it. On the other, how do you be with it? And what is it, anyway? Many things come up around that. Yet when one entertains it, I believe it can be incredibly inspiring. Something in you will catch it and go, “Right. Okay.” It’s like one’s whole universe potentially shifts. When one is entertained by the felt sense, it's like Lyra, Philip Pullman's character with the subtle knife. She cuts through the air and enters another reality. I think that’s exactly it. The Edge of the Map
There’s a deep sigh of recognition about what’s heard here. It’s continually reminding itself of that, because it’s not a habit. It can’t be. That’s the beauty. It’s on the borderline of habit and non-habit. It’s at the edge of the map. You come to the edge of the map, and then what? It’s freeform. It’s like finding a whole new map. But the map can be different every time. A whole new place. Multi-dimensional. And it can only be a map in retrospect. You can’t have the map to begin with—it’s not there. Map is linear. This is more multi-dimensional. The map runs out, and you look back and go, “Oh, now I have a new map.” You can’t look forward with that map. It’s a new kind of way of being.

Metaphor, Creativity, and the Limit of Language
It’s very nourishing just to chat about it. Something in me gets it. It’s like that. It can only ever be a “like that” from this perspective. In a way, it’s another map—a metaphor or symbol. Like a pair of wings, like a surfboard. I talk about surfing. But maybe you have your own metaphor that fits better. This is where true creativity happens. It’s the place of the artist, the creative to create. And if someone is creating from a map, they’re not truly creating.

Shifting Paradigms
It’s a different paradigm. It’s liberating. I was talking to a friend. I used the phrase "going south." We’re a bit far north—let’s go south. It’s tough. Then they talked about being below the waterline—what’s happening there? We recognize that from different traditions. In a sense, we’re coming to the same point. And then the whole conversation calmed. And it was like—that’s it.

All We Have Is Relationship
Relationship. That’s it. We’re not having a relationship—we are relationship. We are interaction. We’re not having an interaction. The relational field is always alive. When you stop thinking about people as fixable objects—relationship emerges. What brought me into this was wanting a better relationship with my wife. Then I realized I needed a better relationship with what’s going on in here. It turns out all we have is relationship. When you get there—it’s all relationship.

Felt Sense as Portal to Living
The felt sense is a portal into the “thisness” of direct living. You could say direct intuitive living, though intuition can be misunderstood. Korzybski, the Polish semanticist, said “the map is not the territory.” We need maps. But we don’t need to be fooled by them. The left brain is a map. People are fooled because they believe them. They believe dichotomous ways of seeing the world as absolutely true—when they are just maps. Language is a map. A belief is a map. But ultimately, it’s not true.

Perspective and the Limits of Knowing
There’s always another view. My teacher spoke of this: look at the Plough, your favorite constellation. It’s beautiful. But if you called someone on Mars and said, “The Plough’s out, can you see it?” they’d say, “What are you talking about?” From their view, it doesn’t exist. If you go toward it—after 30 billion light years—you’d be inside it, and it wouldn’t look constellated. What we take as real is relative. It’s only real from the perspective of the seer.

End of the Map and Felt Sensing Beyond  - Reflection

A lively discussion including contributions from Manvir Hansra and Raffi Campbell. 

The felt sense is a bit like a precious pearl in the ocean, and the narrative is a bit like—what could it be? It’s like a big trawler’s fishing net, you know, that’s really thrown out far and wide, pulling up all kinds of debris. But the real felt sense, that’s—the narrative is the trawler and the net. The felt sense is the pearl. And she sits quietly there. It’s like that. It’s a metaphor, right? But you get what I mean by the trawler.

It's gonna feel very real. Yes. We've got all this stuff in the net. Oh, what have we got? Oh, we got an old dustbin. Oh, we caught a dolphin. Need to put that back, right? And—yeah—maybe I'm doing a disservice to the narrative. But maybe it has a place to do a bit of a disservice to it, that’s trying to run the show, is trying to steal from the ocean right in this kind of way. Maybe the ocean itself is sensing in its fullness.
The Call of the Heart and the North Star
• Focusing offers a vital path to authenticity — following “the North Star of your heart.”
• It invites openness where we’d typically close down, setting us apart with empathic presence and humility.
• Both focusing and meditation rest on the Mystery — not mechanical methods, but a living relationship with inner freedom.

Mindfulness: Dharma vs. Method
• Mindfulness is not meditation; it is Dharma — a liberating relationship with reality.
• Breath counting and body scans reduce mindfulness to mechanical practice, mistaking means for ends.
• The true heart of mindfulness points to dignity and inner freedom, not control.

The Pitfall of the Fixed Self
• Much mainstream mindfulness implies a fixed self that must control experience.
• Terms like “body scan” reduce us to machinery; “bring it back” creates an inner dualism.
• This model implies failure if thoughts stray, reinforcing judgment and tension.

The Organic Way: Focusing as Meditation
• Focusing is emergent, inclusive, and organic.
• No “bringing back” — just allowing what’s already here to unfold.
• The body senses itself. Stories are welcomed. There is no central controller.

Presence Instead of Meditation
• Presence carries fewer preconceptions than “meditation.”
• It can arise anywhere — at a bus stop or in bed.
• It’s about letting the body notice, not doing something to it.

Cosmic Context and Imaginal Sensing
• The body can sense the stars — not through sight, but through imaginal awareness.
• This cosmic felt sense brings vastness and belonging.
• There is something in us that quietly knows this larger context.

The Meaning Body
• Beneath emotion is the felt sense — a meaning-laden, pre-verbal sensation.
• It streams knowing not through thought but direct bodily experience.
• This “meaning body” is:
o Where intuitive knowing lives.
o A portal to wisdom and compassion.
o Life sensing itself in wholeness.

The Pearl and the Net
• The felt sense is a precious pearl in the ocean.
• The narrative is a trawler’s net — often pulling debris, sometimes treasure, but rarely the pearl.
• Mistaking the net for the ocean blinds us to the subtle truths within.

Focusing as Resting in Itself
• Focusing is the whole self resting in itself — not effort, but natural unfolding.
• There may be gentle intentionality, but even that fades.
• The process eventually looks after itself.

Sensing as Portal
• Sensing is not the end — it’s the portal to the "more" that knows its truth.
• It bypasses conceptual frameworks like duality or non-duality.
• The evaluating mind cares for labels; the body simply is.

Beyond Non-Duality
• Chasing “non-dual experiences” often leads to mental tangles.
• The body doesn’t care for duality or its absence — it just lives truthfully.
• Presence offers a refuge beyond all categories.

Focusing Meditation and The Dharma Discussion

How do you get through stuckness and blocks in relationships?  What is the sweetspot?

The Sweet Spot in Relationships

Padmasambhava the Magician, Transformer and Fearless Friend.

Padmasambhava's Realm a short Invocation to Accompany you

Presence Deep Rest Meditations and Reflections inspired by Focusing, Mindfulness and Nonviolent communication Embodied Relational Presence training and personal coaching.  https://www.living-presence.co.uk/

Human Dilemmas, The Mystery, Insight Curiosities and the Fresh Edge

Simon McKibbin Presence Meditations & Reflections