These Spontaneous Reflections offer a light hearted exploration into the forest of and maize of meanings relating to our Existential edges around what it means to be Human with a curiosity for life and its Mystery.  What is your experience of this 'edge'?  Do you have a sense of this 'Mystery'?  What resources and creative responses might help in this Human enigma?

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Human Dilemmas, The Mystery, Insight Curiosities and the Fresh Edge

Become the flower, become available through Beauty and attract all you need in a natural and organic way.
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When the Flower Opens the Bee Comes Invitation

Rest in your Still Centre Focusing Attunement

Rest in Your Still CENTRE For Equanimity In Movement Focusing Attunement

Tired of being relentlessly stuck?  Overwhelmed and despairing about the stories and feelings you can't get out of?  Listen to this for inspiration ....... go to  Healing and Creativity Course to learn skills in deep freedom https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing

How does change REALLY happen? Find relief from STUCK Fear Anxiety Sadness Anger Hurt etc

The Body is invited to reclaim it's own sovereign nature of Being, from its own perspective.  A rich journey of resourcing and resilience creating safety and creatively meeting challenges and learning to rest deeply in the storm as well as meeting your needs for safety, balance and wellbeing whatever the conditions.
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Deep Cool Waters Of Healing The Sovereign Nature of the Body Reclaims itself Meditation

“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”   Rainer Maria Rilke

Meet frightened, anxious, angry etc parts of yourself tenderly with kindness and care.  

All inner critics and emotional patterns have a positive intention.  How are they permitted to let themselves go into a new fresh edge and shift into their newness. Every part within us has its own healing mechanism, all we need to do is offer relationship on the basis of ‘letting be the way it wants to be’ rather than reject or attack so they can morph into their fresh edge and wellness.

Limitless Mindfulness Meditation.  Something can be constricted, cramped, raw, tender, vulnerable – in and of themselves they are fine, the question is how do we relate to them?  Are we held hostage or are we in relationship with them so they can express themselves fully for being fully received.  We are not trying to force change or fix something, it’s a bit like pouring water onto a seed, its an organically flourishing process which just takes care of itself within the context of Presence. Perhaps you have a place where resting is easy, sunbathing on a beach, a forest perhaps or somewhere else where an exquisite sense of safety makes itself known to you.  Inviting a sense of care and warmth in the body.

Inner Critic Relationship for Self Tenderness Kindness and Care for Raw Vulnerable Meditation

The open and connected dimension of Being.
Something can sense the intimacy of connecting right now. Like the tree is available to all the birds that land on it—available to the sky above, and the clouds that float by, to the rain, to the wind that dances the leaves. That tree is firmly rooted and grounded, just like us in Presence.

The felt sense then runs through the whole of this—it’s life connecting everything up, as it is. And the nexus of the felt sense could be in the heart, tummy, or chest somewhere, or more amorphous. Just sensing what is alive here—how is it living through the sensing?

And maybe, making room for the timelessness in Presence, the infiniteness in Presence, and the life that runs through it!

The felt sensing does not belong to anyone in particular—it just seems to course through us. But that shared sense of the felt sensing—if we just pause right now, and just be quietly available in a very ordinary way, to each other—it’s as if there is a shared felt sensing going on. It does not belong to you or me exclusively. Something in us knows there is a bit more going on here, and it seems to be shared.

So I am inviting your body to sense how it is for it—its living experience in the sharedness. This felt sensing, this field, this matrix, this mutuality, this dance, this correspondence, this unity—it can rest in itself. As it does so, something can just be with it, and notice the quality of it from its own perspective.

We are just playing with the mystery of intimacy, of connection.

Often we are not receptive to this shared quality. And here, we invite permission for availability to come forward—to open the gates, to open the portals to this sharing, into the mutuality of sharing that creates its own portal. Resting with this, to sense how it is.

If you like, something in you can open to the portal to all of those around you, to all the sentience beyond—into a felt sensing of all that. Subtle, yes, it can invite itself to know itself more fully from availability in Presence, letting it rest in itself.

And as it does, you might notice the qualities of it—at least a sense of something here. What are the qualities of this sharedness? Perhaps more owned by itself—a sense of sharedness. What’s this like, this shared element? What’s it like in itself, even?

My sense of all this, from a felt sense perspective, is that this—the shared intimate felt sense—brings true wellbeing and healing, and is a portal into the mystery itself that knows its own truth, whatever that means!

And you could say that there is a lot of rest and peace in this sharedness, this mutuality, this mystery. There’s a lot of rest—something can rest deeply here—a lot of nourishment. And if I dare push the boat out, it’s almost timeless, infinite, limitless in its own way.

Of course, there will be parts that may shrink or contract. However, this shrinking and contraction can take place in the breadth of it all.

Timelessness and Infiniteness In Presence Focusing Attunement

The essence of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is the willingness to connect—openness and availability to connect meaningfully with oneself and others. (See NVC courses: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/nonviolentcommunicationnvccoursesandcoaching) This connection is evolutionary, heartening, fulfilling, liberating, and integral to being truly human. Communication, one of humanity's core qualities, is not only about intellectual meaning but also visceral, embodied meaning. Deep, meaningful connections nourish, heal, and expand us.

Criticism of NVC as “violent” reflects our culture’s conditioning, which often promotes blame, judgment, and fault-finding. In politics and everyday life, we focus on identifying faults rather than solutions, perpetuating paradigms of right-wrong and good-bad that shape how we communicate. These habits, taught from childhood, foster disconnection and comparison during interactions, making true connection rare. Seen through this lens, NVC can appear manipulative or superficial, as it may be reduced to a technique for personal gain rather than fostering connection.

Like any paradigm, NVC can be misunderstood or misapplied. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), for instance, offers transformative tools but can also be misused for manipulation. Similarly, beginners in NVC may unintentionally approach it as a means to "get their needs met," leading to superficial or disconnected interactions. This can be painful for both parties, reinforcing the default cultural paradigms of blame and judgment.

At its core, NVC values connection, acknowledging our innate human need for it. Loneliness—whether in solitude or among people—highlights the importance of meaningful connection. When rejected or hurt, our responses often come from anger or pain, perpetuating disconnection and cycles of judgment and despair. NVC calls for self-awareness and other-awareness, inviting us to move beyond reactive patterns and connect with what is alive in ourselves and others.

Critically, NVC emphasizes intention. It is not about achieving specific outcomes or "getting what we want." Instead, it focuses on compassionate, caring connection. The intention is to honor both our own humanity and that of others, even in moments of hurt or dissatisfaction. Without this intention, communication can become violent or manipulative.

NVC challenges us to lean into another’s world with empathy, valuing their experience on their terms. Demands—where no choice is given—arise from intention. A soft, open, compassionate intention fosters choice and freedom in communication, transcending mere words. The quality of presence we bring to interactions, whether with people, animals, or nature, defines NVC.

Ultimately, NVC is about compassionate presence—soft, caring, and open. It may be firm but avoids imposing authority. Critiques of NVC often misunderstand its principles, focusing on its structure rather than the compassionate intention at its heart. True NVC seeks connection over control, empathy over judgment, and mutual understanding over superficial agreement.

The Essence of Nonviolent Communication beyond Superficiality and Techniquism

"Certainly, Focusing and the Dharma are not separate in this world. They are like the ocean and the horizon, and the great sky above—not separate, breathing itself, living itself, reveling in the majesty of things."
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"The fullness of itself rests in the fullness of itself. In this way, there is no polarity, but neither would one call it non-duality, so no duality and no non-duality."

"Presence rests in Presence. So, I guess my language for the Great Liberation, you could say, is Presence: Pre-Sence, that which comes before sense, that Mystery."

"Focusing is not about focusing. When something becomes about something, Buddhism becomes about Buddhism, or Nonviolent Communication becomes about NVC, it’s as if we go to a revolving door and we keep revolving around inside it."

"The function of a revolving door is to act as a portal into the very space or different space that you are wanting to get to."

"Hopefully what is happening is I am entering my Humanity more deeply. It’s a natural expression of my Humanity, Focusing, NVC, Mindfulness, Buddhism, they are not about themselves, they are pointing beyond themselves in a way."

"All true liberation teachings, according to her, always point to direct experience. If they are pointing to ‘Talking about’ Enlightenment, the great freedom etc, then they are not the true teaching, they are merely a dichotomy promoting and reinforcing itself."

"She mentions this term ‘Being Perception’—becoming perception, entering the realm of perception, as if we drop into the realm of perception rather than talking about it, in this way becoming awareness itself."

"The felt sense is the heart of Gene Gendlin’s Focusing, not feeling, but the felt sense, which is more than a feeling, it’s the inclusive whole to an experience that is alive."

"When there is a whole perception of itself, it is an invitation into full sensory awareness from its own terms as it drops into itself, so to speak, there is neither a duality nor a non-duality, and it just rests in itself."

"As this body here is listening to these sounds, so to speak, it can also notice the earth, the body can sense the whole shape of itself even as these sounds manifest and the spaciousness from the skin’s perspective, as it were, radiating out beyond these four walls up into the blue or dark night sky with a trillion shimmering diamonds."

"It’s the pregnant empathic pause from the whole sense of itself, and as this does so, and as the words and labels and interpretations, as it were, are just offered to space in the totality of things, they no longer have dominion over creating a split."

"The whole of this that owns itself, that, as it were, is hearing back from itself, or even as it were, is pausing in the hearing, the availability of the hearing back from itself, the whole of itself, the whole of itself hears back from the whole of itself."

"The map is not the territory, the finger pointing to the moon is the finger pointing to the moon, this is invariably an invitation for the moon and the light of the moon to inhabit itself. It just bathes itself in its own light."

"Focusing has been a portal for me personally into the mystery of the whole of this, playing itself out. Focusing, which of course, is not about focusing!"

Focusing Insight Duality Non-duality & the Wisdom of The Felt Sense

Identity and the Mystery of Language
I want to come back to this word: identity.
It seems to me to be the crux of so many issues in the world — and in our own worlds, too.
It’s not just the world — it's the bounding off, the compartmentalization, the fixing.
Healthy on a certain level, yes. But in Focusing, there’s an invitation:
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I a man? A woman? Neither, or both?
Am I defined by the group, by another individual, by something in me?
Would a rose be just as sweet if it were called something else?
How does the label define the identity, and how does the identity define the label?
Language and experience — it’s a very curious mystery.
"Terrorist" or "freedom fighter" — what is this?
There are no true "nounings" — there are some, but predominantly, experience is verbing.
A sense of this-isness rather than "I am," "you are," "we are going to do."
Fixed identity — the "I Am" — creates a rigid duality. Then the problems start:
My nation, your nation. My goods, your goods. What's yours is negotiable; what's mine is mine.

Identity 'I Am' 'Something in Me' Who are you? Existential Focusing Reflection

A lively discussion including contributions from Manvir Hansra and Raffi Campbell. 

The felt sense is a bit like a precious pearl in the ocean, and the narrative is a bit like—what could it be? It’s like a big trawler’s fishing net, you know, that’s really thrown out far and wide, pulling up all kinds of debris. But the real felt sense, that’s—the narrative is the trawler and the net. The felt sense is the pearl. And she sits quietly there. It’s like that. It’s a metaphor, right? But you get what I mean by the trawler.

It's gonna feel very real. Yes. We've got all this stuff in the net. Oh, what have we got? Oh, we got an old dustbin. Oh, we caught a dolphin. Need to put that back, right? And—yeah—maybe I'm doing a disservice to the narrative. But maybe it has a place to do a bit of a disservice to it, that’s trying to run the show, is trying to steal from the ocean right in this kind of way. Maybe the ocean itself is sensing in its fullness.
The Call of the Heart and the North Star
• Focusing offers a vital path to authenticity — following “the North Star of your heart.”
• It invites openness where we’d typically close down, setting us apart with empathic presence and humility.
• Both focusing and meditation rest on the Mystery — not mechanical methods, but a living relationship with inner freedom.

Mindfulness: Dharma vs. Method
• Mindfulness is not meditation; it is Dharma — a liberating relationship with reality.
• Breath counting and body scans reduce mindfulness to mechanical practice, mistaking means for ends.
• The true heart of mindfulness points to dignity and inner freedom, not control.

The Pitfall of the Fixed Self
• Much mainstream mindfulness implies a fixed self that must control experience.
• Terms like “body scan” reduce us to machinery; “bring it back” creates an inner dualism.
• This model implies failure if thoughts stray, reinforcing judgment and tension.

The Organic Way: Focusing as Meditation
• Focusing is emergent, inclusive, and organic.
• No “bringing back” — just allowing what’s already here to unfold.
• The body senses itself. Stories are welcomed. There is no central controller.

Presence Instead of Meditation
• Presence carries fewer preconceptions than “meditation.”
• It can arise anywhere — at a bus stop or in bed.
• It’s about letting the body notice, not doing something to it.

Cosmic Context and Imaginal Sensing
• The body can sense the stars — not through sight, but through imaginal awareness.
• This cosmic felt sense brings vastness and belonging.
• There is something in us that quietly knows this larger context.

The Meaning Body
• Beneath emotion is the felt sense — a meaning-laden, pre-verbal sensation.
• It streams knowing not through thought but direct bodily experience.
• This “meaning body” is:
o Where intuitive knowing lives.
o A portal to wisdom and compassion.
o Life sensing itself in wholeness.

The Pearl and the Net
• The felt sense is a precious pearl in the ocean.
• The narrative is a trawler’s net — often pulling debris, sometimes treasure, but rarely the pearl.
• Mistaking the net for the ocean blinds us to the subtle truths within.

Focusing as Resting in Itself
• Focusing is the whole self resting in itself — not effort, but natural unfolding.
• There may be gentle intentionality, but even that fades.
• The process eventually looks after itself.

Sensing as Portal
• Sensing is not the end — it’s the portal to the "more" that knows its truth.
• It bypasses conceptual frameworks like duality or non-duality.
• The evaluating mind cares for labels; the body simply is.

Beyond Non-Duality
• Chasing “non-dual experiences” often leads to mental tangles.
• The body doesn’t care for duality or its absence — it just lives truthfully.
• Presence offers a refuge beyond all categories.

Focusing Meditation and The Dharma Discussion

Padmasambhava the Magician, Transformer and Fearless Friend.

Padmasambhava's Realm a short Invocation to Accompany you

Finding Oneself 2 by Laurence Freeman OSB
Meditatio Talks Series 2017 D Oct-Dec
Track 1 of 8

Finding Oneself 2

The Experience of Being Known

Life and front line interactions can be demanding and stressful - often with times of anxiety, fear, overwhelm etc being a result. Here are some ready and available resources to meet needs for Resilience, Deep Rest, Grounding, Presence, Balance, Restoration, Sustainability, Connection, Respite, Ease, Peace, Resources for times of action and inaction. 
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Soothing Meditation for anxiety and fear & other strong emotions

Two Kinds Of Intelligence

Access your STILL POINT and  live from tranquility and calm amidst the chaos and overwhelm of your inner and outer life.

Find & rest in your STILL POINT for tranquility through this Mindfulness Meditation

Presence Deep Rest Meditations and Reflections inspired by Focusing, Mindfulness and Nonviolent communication Embodied Relational Presence training and personal coaching.  https://www.living-presence.co.uk/

The Essence of Nonviolent Communication beyond Superficiality and Techniquism

Simon McKibbin Presence Meditations & Reflections

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