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CREDITS: 
Written By: Eric The Audible, Mason G.
Mixed By: Nathan Provost
Art By: Matthew Thomas
Production By: MTC Beatz

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CAST:
Fightmarker - Alex Jones
Eric The Audible - Carl Azuz
Intern - Nathan Provost

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Alex Jones (0:10)
They’re coming after me - the establishment 
So tell me whose this satanist im rap battlin’
CNN? I ain’t afraid of you liars
Cause in this “mostly peaceful” rap all my rhymes will be fire!

Carl Azuz (0:21)
Judging by the awfully biased hatred you spew, 
You're the age of information gone straight down the tube, 
So I get why Google and Twitter would have you removed 
Now I’ll strike you down too, like I’m Carl A-Zeus

Sources say your info’s fictional - we’ll see it again
We keep the news legit - CNN 10/10
And like his legal team, Jones is always on the defense
We’ll clarify for your audience: y’all these shots ain’t pretend

Conning old men about fake “info wars”
But when it comes to conmen you’re the intro course
I’d say keep it calm man, when you misinform
But you get hopping mad over frog intercourse

Alex Jones (0:52)
You deny it’s the deep state who’s feeding ya
But I’ve survived smears from the fake news media
I’m standing right here, collect and kill me with the patriots!
You waste class time, but my freedom? you ain’t taking it

This just in folks, got brand new info
That Carl Hackzus is in the sex-with-pigs cult
He cuts their entrails, (yuck) snips the ends off 
Then goes to a Chinese Palace where him and his friends talk

They take the blood of goblins, mixed with carbonic acid
Sip it with the Clintons and rich people with Iraqi accents
They chat about eradicating the lower classes 
And cash in on aborted fetuses to buy Masonic assets!

(WOOF) On your trail - wolf blood - I’m the alpha male 
Strike with a mic and a rifle, you will not prevail
I’m going viral, want the cure for the best offer go
To infowars.com and order 4 quarts of testosterone 

Like the CDC on this beat, grab your mask please
You couldn’t control me with a million vaccines
If I'm the mad dog you say, I'd rather stay deranged
Than submit to clark kent who's been hit with beta rays

Carl Azuz:
I’d spend our last segment going through that rap wreckage 
But kids can see through your conspiracy: that’s fact - check it 
I’m just a humble journalist, so I should give you props
For being the first English news outlet posted by Russian bots

I mean you’re going viral all right, and your fans stay loyal
You gave them COVID-19 and then your snake oil
But shoutout to Central High School, I’ve been Carl Azuz
This is CNN 10 - sorry for the old news!

Central Rap Battles: Alex Jones vs. Carl Azuz

Placeholder thumbnail by Mint

Written, mixed and produced by Mint

SuperDuper24 as ZALGO
Mintas SiivaGunner

ZALGO:
I was almost delighted being held up as discordant
Until this MIDI-slapper showed up as my next opponent
This statue has to be joking, you need a makeover
No broken up story could match the cinders from this takeover!
And this matchup is shit I'm a bit peeved | But I find ironic twists in this scene
Out of the eldritch horrors that I could’ve rapped against they went and picked memes
But I guess that seeing this it can be said. | Almost fitting that a demon god with seven heads
is pit against a scheming goner weakling donned with one mask sheathing everything he says

Siiva:
I thought you'd be monstrous, G
But it seems you got that flow filled with apostrophes
This goner would think that Gunner doesn't have the rounds to fire off but he's
About to take an L (high quality)
So I figured you'd quit jumbling and spit something, a diss, no
'Cuz your meme's just archaic to predate the Flintstones!
Back in 2016 you were relevant, then the net went and moved on to better shit
Out of all of the jokes to be made, this matchup is most fit to bomb as a reference!
So this dude's a timeless deity leaving these scenes in his web
Weaving up in and out of being dead, but this memeable wreck
Can't be seeing a scheme of his without some NEET on the web
Submitting him as an SCP without reading the text
So I'm gonna be leaving him dead. This bore'd better run
'Fore an error 404's gone and tore through your guns
Cause out of your seven heads you use no more than the one
This prick finds a Garfield comic, adds some gore then he comes

Zalgo:
A ROM hack would be better for this dweeb’s verse
Firing bombs back like rip submissions - next time, rehearse
(AH) YOU SAW GRIFTERS UP ON SOUNDCLOUD AND YOU FOLLOWED THAT
(AH) I’VE GOT SEVEN FUCKING MOUTHS AND I CAN’T SWALLOW THAT
(AH) I’M THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD, MAKE YOUR SHALLOW FANS
NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR SHITPOSTS BACK UP ON THEIR HOLOGRAMS
So next time you try to drop a fucking hit, mate
Maybe don’t develop your whole lore around some kid’s games

ZALGO vs SiivaGunner. R∆P BATTLE! S0E2

Swoldow as Herobrine
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCEC...

Ennway as MissingNo
https://www.youtube.com/c/ENNWAY

Written by Psytube
Audio Mixed by Xhack
Video Edited by Psytube
Beat by Dansonn

Herobrine:
Did I come out of hiding to fight some Porygon after a car crash?
It’s not surprising that your own franchise turned you into a big question mark fast
I’m haunting the forest, you’re just haunting about 40 pixels alongside a shore
Man I’m always around, you showed up in one gen and now you’re more static than you were before
Always in the back of the player’s mind, you’re a tool to help out with the player’s grind
Just make your mind up, do you wanna spread dread in the fanbase or just duplicate some items?
You’re a nameless icon? I’m the best selling name in the best selling game so don’t try it
Cause after hearing your hall of fame sequence, I think you'd be better off staying silent

Missingno:
Steve but Evil thinking he’s the best is a bold claim
He’s retexturing paintings, I’m retexturing whole games
So if pestering’s your sole aim then keep sneaking silently
But if you ever want actual terror just feast your eyes on (glitch) wait
I’m trying to shake up some trainers so yeah I'm freaky when I make sound
But I’m pretty sure that that's way better than some fake murmurs on a playground
Well at least I can say that you’ve soared to absurd heights, but you’re starting a war with a bird type
So this pair of shears is gonna perish here, I mean I’m made of code so you know that I got that line game down
Might be a jumble of muddled up data but your spiel’s still hurting me (glitch)
You’re the corniest hoax, but I guess it makes sense that your pasta got served with cheese (glitch)
And taking one look at this ghost brother, I don’t even need a Silph Scope just to
See that all you are is a stalker, I guess that’s why so many kids have your phone number

Herobrine:
I’m not threatened when this 2nd placeholder’s coming through
Couldn’t take this Satan spawn if you were shaped like a W (nope)
Got tons of forums all begging to see me, everyone’s dog has you locked in its PC
Both of us mess up our games pretty deeply, but last time I checked you can’t just release me
Cause I’m sneaky, and my deeds top any trick that this glitch can muster (yeah)
Can’t even count the amount of people talking ‘bout me, how’s THAT for a Missing Number?
You’re a drop in the sea of the glitches in your game, dropped into the shallows next to Cinnabar’s gym
You couldn’t beat me in fear factor or fame, go away and terrorise your dried out cartridge 

Missingno:
Take one look at me and the whole region is broken
One screenshot of you turned 4Chan into Copeland
So when you spot the next poor player that stumbles onto your cursed seed
Tell them to go speak to that Old Man the day they turn 13

Missingno Vs Herobrine - Psytube Rap Battles Bonus

King Mewtwo as Matthew Hopkins
Malina Rose as Homura Akemi
Crowd vocals by Zagranis
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Edited by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Trunxks Beats

Homura Akemi (0:10):
As time passes by, humanity’s memory of you fades away even more
I’m packing grenades and guns galore, the only ‘bang’ that you know is on people’s doors
You’re not officially in the position to hunt down witches and cumulate fame
I know I'm proficient in dishing out flames, as though it's written in my very name!
Those pitchforks and torches are shit talk, not morbid
Go bitch more in forests ‘bout witches and how they're so horrid
While I keep the bombs in my storage
And drop them on Hopkins for being distorted
In his own desires to purge part of England from a threat that doesn't exist 
You got a legacy tainted by sin and your rapport with God is now sailing adrift

Matthew Hopkins (0:37):
It seems we've got competition, men, you best stay put while I step to this 
If one single wish can destroy your world, I don't even need the gallows to end a bitch!
Your show’s Groundhog Day for edgy teens; depressing, bleak, how exciting (Wow!)
So apprehensive for the girl you protect, you even leave her frightened!
SO WEAK! Your incompetence amuses, abusing your power just to fail once again?
NO SLEEP! Being restless for Madoka’s sake, then watched as she met her end
SHOW ME what you're made of, girl! That's the mark of a witch if you lack any feeling 
OH, PLEASE! Spare me from your crying, did she reshape your Universe into Steven’s?
(Ugh) You went from a slice of life, to a psychological thriller (What?!)
Mami spilled the tea on your genre twist as soon as Bebe killed her (Yeah)
Even with your heart condition, you could never kill a beat
Retreat back to your barren realm as I patrol these haunted streets

Homura Akemi (1:18):
Imposed a stigma on yourself, don’t point garden tools at me (sigh)
Your lines are rife with superstitious shit like Daemonologie
If I wanted to trust a Hopkins, I’d rather go with Lecter
I’ll abuse you like the bottle that got hit by your director!
The beta version of the Metropolitan Police 
Admonish your practices while I polish my technique
Freeze time! Turning back the tides with a bullet dance
You remind me of Sayaka-chan, you can’t come back
Inspired by the work of a hypocrite who puts his citizens through hell
Damn, not even a Grief Seed could purify your putrid heart as well

Matthew Hopkins (1:46):
How sad, you dragged on that rap verse longer than your transformation scenes
The only pain you could deal’s seizures to the epileptics, please
Defending a whiny, shite bitch, and you claim that is your ‘soul’ purpose?
She’s ascending to mighty heights while you’re stranded on Earth, worthless

Homura Akemi (1:59):
Dare speak her name with such distaste? You’re bound to face ill fate’s embrace!
The Incubators could show me their hateful ways, but any trace of you’s vague
Based your career on false accusations 
But it can’t be more disgraceful than your adaptation
On screen, you bring shame to your nation
They’ll mark your defeat as a grand celebration!

Matthew Hopkins (2:13):
You treat the lives of the magical girls like they’re more stepping stones in your quest for her love
But they still could not stop you from transforming into the very same foe that I’m destined to hunt 
Walpurgis Night locked you in a cycle of endless strife and sacrifice
Now we’re both falling into the darkness, any wish always comes at a price

Matthew Hopkins vs Homura Akemi. SIR Rap Battles (ft. King Mewtwo & Malina Rose)

JustGamer as Toru Iwatani 
RaccoonBroVA as Alexey Pajitnov 
RNG as the Announcer

Written by Oofie, RNG, MaviKartal2003, Dilly, KCToons, Pixel Chris, and Chandler_CCRB
Additional writing help by: Shimario
Mixed and mastered by Oofie	
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Beat edited and re-arranged by Oofie
Tetris theme re-created by Evrywunzf8vrite
Pac-Man instruments by Oofie
Demo by Oofie
Cover art by Oofie
Produced by Oofie
Special thanks to Freshy Kanal, GlitchDude, and Snakebite126

Toru Iwatani 
Press start in a fight with Toru? I assure you, I made the scene
If you wanna give your 2 cents, slot them into my game machine
Trying to run tracks through writing, as if you're some Ridge Racer
But now you’re being written on, like it’s your parents’ divorce papers
Got launched from the Soviets, just another cash grab block game
Yet you lost the top Notch status with Mojang’s mojo drop, dang!
I've turned pizza to pie charts, while Ls you're known to drop 
Mounting this brawl will leave you a loss, along with your son off

Alexey Pajitnov 
Think you're gaming’s OG? I set the revolutionary high bars
You and I aren’t even close to each other, just like your eyes are
The wacka-wacka-wack raps you spat are just hard to swallow
With your ghoul fellows, it's no surprise you're see-through and hollow
Even my pieces aren’t as blocky as the CG in your show is, man
You got that inky blinky pengame, sounds like it was ghostwritten
Though gotta hand it to you for the most-slotted game, it's a true fact
But you'll flip birds when even your own creation wouldn't even love you back!

Toru Iwatani 
Break off your blocks like it’s Gee Bee, leave you more green than the GB 
From arcade machines to your TV. When it comes to gaming, I’m beastly!
You can’t compare to my legacy, spawned countless crowds, looked upon me
Spilling the T more than your parity, patching you off like your home country!
I’m blasting off like the cathedral; you'll see, Pajitnov, we’re not equals
I gotta Hatris off, your work’s lethal; with your tactless thoughts like Pokhilko
The Iwatani from the Atari; your recent games have been no fun
I’ve got 99 problems with Tetris but this bitch ain’t one!

Alexey Pajitnov 
I'll turn the page like your textbooks, now who are you trying to fool?
Dropped out of Namco to teach, yet couldn't drop lines to get me schooled
You've appealed to the female crowd, but nothing is worth to boast it
When a flick based on your Pixels leaves all the theatre rooms ghosted!
Get on my level, dude! 256 bars is not needed for me to crash you
This will be your second failed Ghost Adventure you cannot pass through!
Easily got your boat rocked; while myself have my champion ship docked
As you’ve received ass kickings I Packed, man, from Russia with love! (Ugh)

Alexey Pajitnov vs Toru Iwatani - Rap Clash!

Zagranis as Geometry Dash
MetalFireVA as Polybius
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by E Man, JK03, Oofie, Danger Dolphin 101, Grenade
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Dansonn

Geometry Dash (0:16):
Sliding in from the screen, it's GD with the clean flows 
You got skeptics writing ‘bout you, I got mean prose
Jump over any hurdle, I can beat a weak foe
That was only really known when ported to PC, though
You better mind your own craft fronting this block
When the dash champ’s Back on Track, man, I hip-hop (Uh)
Any trace of this faux game got killed off
‘Cause the feds figured no one’d want to play your shit, dawg
You should withdraw from this battle facing me
Rip off consoles like you took a bite from ‘83
Oregon’s the place to be for all the bullshit fanatics
I’d have the Men in Black wipe my mind if I have to hear you rapping
(Yeah) You vanished ‘fore players could even press start
The only beat you’d ever drop is a heart’s
I’m RobTopping game stores
A pixelated mess is what players have to pay for?

Polybius (0:49):
I thought you’d be able to square off with your shape but I see those disses were Lite
Like all of your trashy spinoffs that deserve to be sent to a landfill site
I’m the urban legend paradigm when it comes to the fear that I elevate (elevate)
You make gamers bash their brains in, and I thought I gave them headaches (headaches)
You're so fucking cheap, all I'd need are CD keys
Try to put a high score in, you’ll collapse to PB
Beat me? That's Madness! On a Stereo track, I’m
Leaving you shattered like the hearts of your players, guy
Seems that you're lacking in the new content they desire
Regurgitating games and levels that are uninspired
I rock consoles, your dev’s stuck in deadlock
Ironic this block can’t xStep onto Xbox

Geometry Dash (1:22):
Yeah, this migraine should've just stayed a claim
Cause the ports made you go from baseless to debased
All it takes is common cents for one to declare the truth
Evil Otto proved to be a bigger scare than you!
Unlike the spikes that I dodge, you couldn't get to the point 
But now I'm making like Scott, leave ageing boxes destroyed
I was born a modern mobile gaming classic
You were born from a sleep deprivation challenge!
 
Polybius (1:39):
Instilling Meltdowns in the depths of the brain
While you got none ripping off The Impossible Game
And try not to rage, kid, when I end this Bloodbath
So mischievous, even Loki notices - top that!
It's taken more than 4 years, still no update
At this sluggish pace, your game's never getting done, ay
This was another failed attempt to supersede me
GD’s taken the biggest crash since E.T.

Geometry Dash Vs Polybius. SIR Rap Battles: Sidequests (ft. Zagranis & MetalFireVA)

RNG as SCP 990 and This Man (audio)
Written by RNG 
Mixed by Jort
Beat: Luxury by Tristan
Thumbnail and cover art by: Oofie

This Man: (0:12)
I’m put against an SCP? Who isn’t 173?
I’ll still take wins and sweep stolen shtick Dicks off the beat
Your story’s so boring, you’ve done half of my job for me
Putting everyone who reads your wiki page instantly to sleep!
I’m the GOAT! I flow like a knife to the throat
And I won't let go till you’re bleeding in the snow
You can't run, you can't hide, after this incident on the mic
Cause I'll always be there watching you for the rest of your life

SCP 990: (0:39)
I wasn't aware there were insults in the shit that you spewed
And I believe a person has the right to be called what they choose
Yet you think calling me Dick is something to lay into
When it’s pretty clear the real dick-head here is you
Creep who kills in dreams? I can’t believe it’s not Freddy
Although he does spill blood while you just leave pissed on bed sheets
You aren't ready for the bombs that will leave no one (no one!)
So when starting verbal wars expect a Cold one (cold one!)
98 percent of all humans burnt to a crisp
An apollyonic apocalypse, it’s impossible to stop it
This future contains This Man, lost in a sea of flame
Because on this microphone the Keter class is uncontained!

This Man: (1:18)
Uncontained? I cross continents every day to bring a person hell
While you only show yourself to the foundation’s personnel
So in the nets hall of fame i'll stay, while you’re forgotten day by day
You don't even have fame to decay, you never went Viral K anyway!
The only ones who’d care if this SCP was wiped from history
Are degenerate Redditor fedora wearers who scream “ACKSHUALLY”
There's no point in continuing, this head already wears the crown
So I’m done with this battle, another bitch put down

SCP 990: (1:45)
Taking shots at my following? As if yours aren’t twice as bad, please
Your Files got X'd out by fucking 4Chan and Assme
You only fuck with kiddie dreams so I’ll take pleasure in making this pedo scream
So that no amount of calls can wake up one permanently put to sleep

This Man vs SCP 990 Rap Battle!

merry fuckin christmas, video is simple so itll drop alongside a different video, i just wanted something to drop on christmas.

Mancha (UBERocity) as John Kramer
Shimario as Kevin McCallister

Beat Produced by: Allrounda
Written by: Danii
Mixed by: Danii
Thumbnail by: Fightmarker

Lyrics:

John:
Hello Kevin….I want to play a game
As you can see I don't discriminate because of age
Now, you may think that's 'cause of all your crimes
But no, your awful movies and repeated plot entered my eyes
Nothing but a downgrade, like your face when you left your place
For a bowl-cut kid, I suggest that you rest your case
A horror film’s against a signature scream
You're like Amanda, and there's a theory that you grew up to be me
In no way my philosophy's dirty
But you would've killed your family if your mother came early
Now puppets pulling strings that piss off people I'll possess
I power over pussies, it's no problem, never stress

Kevin:
Dad, I'm watching snuff films. Come out and stop me
He'll need your credit card for a budget to think he'll top me
I see through his damn lies, I'll have my mans die
Why'd you say live or die if you can't pick that with your franchise
You'd piss yourself if I said that I spit sick
This murderer's end? He got down with the sickness
Take this L for Christmas, you wack-ass predator 
In your room complaining 'bout society like a whole Redditor
You're trash as a competitor. I'd rather not have your support 
Wasted time with a plot just for it to be called torture porn
Mediocre gore, depressed Joe Gatto best not move me
When the name of your shit only applied to one movie

John:
But it didn't for you, now I can call that more strife
It seems from your parents, they don't appreciate your life
So make like My Girl and start taking this sting
Dropping bars, you're dropping spiders in hopes for anything but
I won't be killed by your traps to the shoulder
So with this verse, I consider this a game over

Kevin:
I'm rocking the trap beats to get you and your city and
Your kid died but I'd want to as well if my name was Gideon
So keep the change, you need it for insurance or to rest
Diss me but your films went down the hall and to the left
Yeah, this game is pretty lazy, to be honest, you need help
You got others to kill themselves but couldn't do it yourself

John:
Alright that’s it you little shit I’m not even gonna give you a chance to live I’m setting off the fucking traps

Kevin:
Do your worst! Nanana- FUCK

*Kevin fucking dies*

Paige:
Paige "Fans" Need to Calm Down...

Kevin McCallister vs. Jigsaw

Tempo

„LIMITLESS” by Yegres Okner is a high-end, cinematic fusion of luxury rap, corporate drama, and electronic swagger.
The track follows the story of a man who once lived at the very top —
a crisis manager, a power player, a golden boy of the elite world —
until the polished empire around him collapsed.

Through a dialogue with his Centurion Concierge-Like secretary and a deep inner monologue,
the song exposes the hollow shine of high society:
VIP circles, glossy magazines, money games,
schemes inside multinational corporations,
and the quiet burnout behind a perfect suit.

Limitless

« SANS FILTRE » est un album de rap brut et frontal, sans concession, qui mélange l’âme de l’old school et la puissance du boom trap moderne.

L’univers est sombre, mafieux, noir et blanc, inspiré du rap de rue authentique, des figures de pouvoir et des codes du cinéma noir. Les textes sont crus, directs, insolents, remplis de punchlines, d’ego-trip et de vérités lâchées sans détour.

Musicalement, les morceaux reposent sur des rythmiques boom-bap lourdes, fusionnées avec des kicks trap puissants, des basses épaisses et un groove sec qui tape autant en voiture qu’en club. Le tempo est nerveux mais maîtrisé, avec une énergie constante, sans fioritures.

La voix est grave, posée, autoritaire, parfois agressive, parfois glaciale, toujours dominante. Les flows alternent entre cadence old school tranchante et attitude trap moderne, avec des refrains simples, mémorisables, conçus pour marquer les esprits.

« SANS FILTRE » est un album de vérité et de domination, un projet où rien n’est édulcoré : ni les mots, ni l’attitude, ni l’énergie. Un rap authentique, intemporel et actuel, destiné à ceux qui veulent du réel, sans masque, sans compromis.

DEHORS

The official SoundCloud account for SIR Rap Battles! Here you can access my library of rap battle audios, both with and without videos, as well as remixes of other battles.

Geometry Dash Vs Polybius. SIR Rap Battles: Sidequests (ft. Zagranis & MetalFireVA)

SIR Rap Battles

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