Azia as Kirby
MetaMachine as Ditto
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan and Jofinity
Additional writing help by the SIR Rap Battles Crew
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell

Kirby (0:13):
Strolling by… oh hi! I’m Kirby! I think now it’s about time you know me
Sakurai’s trophy, spitting it cozy, you’re only used as a breeding tool - oh, jeez!
Just goes to show you’re below me - planet destroyer against some pink slime? (What?)
I'll just get a hold of the mic and rock Popstar with slick rhymes! (Oh!)
Masuda made you serve only one purpose, 
Go to the daycare lest you're rendered worthless
Laying some eggs to farm clones as a service
Just for a colour swap ‘mon people worship!
You fully reflect the games that they purchase
Copying plots and designs in each version
Though I’m the one with the power of circus
This Limber joke belongs in there for certain!


Ditto (0:40):
Seems Sakurai always designed you to suck; check Melee, can’t you see that?
Spent decades just hoping for some innovation, no wonder you’re stuck in Dreamland!
Getting milked with your spinoffs, yet they only buy mine
You remind me of Nova, you’re rotting over time
This bubblegum is just troublesome, better double up when you mumble some
While you were off stirring trouble up, I was breeding some with your mother, son!
You’re so babyish with the bars you’ve thrown
You make poyos sound like Pocoyo
Ditto with your games, ‘cause they all look the same
Even Pokemon Snap got more critical acclaim!
You could only square off if you swallowed Steve, your abilities don’t do jack
I’d only wish to transform into you if I want to sleep on your raps
Wanna talk smack ‘bout my design and shape? You’re just a placeholder, that’s that
I actually try to copy, while the most change you have is with your wack hats!


Kirby (1:18): 
You slaved away to a delusional guy then died to the gas that he used in his schemes
Leaving your fans much to be desired, they should check in at the Fountain of Dreams

Ditto (1:25):
Your titles are walks in the Poképark
I’ve seen better ball shapes in a Poké Mart
Unrivalled in drip, just check my IVs
While an IV drip’s what you're gonna need!

Kirby (1:32):
Ripping off’s only what you do, it seems 
Down B for attack, you’re just down for Zs
Clobber you like I did King Dedede
Won't absorb your style, you're sloppy like Gooey
I bring joy to players, amazed by my cuteness
You're just a Mew clone, cause you're both useless 
Why battle me when you're weak against fighting types?
You can't evolve alongside your whole franchise!


Ditto (1:46):
Even with the Rainbow Curse, you couldn't ball like I do 
And rocked so poorly that I lose EXP when I fight you 
I’d diss you more, but this story’s done with readin’
Cut this Cartoon Buffoon off like his fifth season! (Ayy!)

Kirby vs Ditto. SIR Rap Battles Sidequests (ft. Azia & MetaMachine)

(Note: This is a remastered version of the original battle, available to watch on YouTube right now - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFdz0OuHuhU&t=117s)

The legendary original Pokémon master Red wants to battle with the master dragon trainer Hiccup from How to Train your Dragon. Which lifelong companion to fire-breathing dragons will reign supreme?

Raichous as Red
RaccoonBroVA as Hiccup
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell

Hiccup (0:07):
This is Berk, your resting place! Hey, don't you mind showing your face?
The only edgy one here should be Stormfly, not some little kid who abandoned his race 
Me and my gang are protecting the dragons, you like to make yours fight to the death 
My bond to Toothless, unprecedented; constant abuse is your form of respect?!


Red (0:23):
So, a social reject wants to get my team wrecked when he left his weak pet
Wallowing in neglect ‘cause he was depressed? Well, Red’s gonna diss your disrespect:
You claim your bond to Toothless is a strong one, tell me how he still ended up brainwashed?
I'm spitting Fire Blasts to take your other leg, go warn the people of Berk of your great loss! 
Serving this Haddock Horrendously lifeless, you ought to run from this battle and give up 
I guess your father was right in the first place, your very being was naught but a Hiccup
I'm used to blasting Team Rocket away, your Night Fury knows that he did the same 
I see why you thought that the dragons weren't safe, when you witnessed yours murder Stoick that day! 
(Ohhh!) What good are you as a leader if it seems your friends can do much better
(Yeah) This senior’s meager when measured to me; like an Ice-type, you crack under pressure
You tamed a monster at 15? I tamed 150 at 10!
I wouldn’t need the schemes of a fiend to bring this trainer to end


Hiccup (1:09):
Oh, no, this isn't the end for me yet; still got a tribe and a secret to guard
Your games are more of a sellout to me than what you buy at a Poké Mart
You went on a journey to become the very best, but you never experienced pain
I lost a leg and my father and Toothless, while in Super Smash Bros, you lost your name!
I got a family, with me and Astrid
You went and ditched your mom just like her husband did! 
Pulling no punches, I'm savage like Bludvist
My rhymes are Ghost-type, you cannot touch this!
The only thing you're gonna catch are these hands 
You'll end up deceased like a Cubone’s mother
With all your Max Potions, you still will not last 
You're getting bullied by Gary? Oh, brother...
Can we just talk about this for a minute? Cap face down but his ego up
Thinks being silent is because he's powerful, but in reality he's just a cub
Looking at the Smash 4 roster - heck, man
You’re getting cut like the National Dex, and
All of your Fire, Red, douse it with flow
And I’m running you over like Pokemon Go!

Red (1:55):
I'd rather remain nameless than be known as a chief of Hooligans 
A master revered for Generations, do you truly know who you're dueling with?
You're calling me out for alleged abuse when you shot down and crippled your best bud
My mother raised me with compassion, yours abandoned you when you were young! 
I birthed a franchise of legendary games
Your games are the plot of your franchise: tame
Like a Garbardor, you bet I'm trashing your rhymes
Verses so hot, I'm burning Berk a second time!
Thinking I’m getting the silver? Look at the sword that’s within your possession
My legacy will be echoed for ages, nobody’s giving your series attention!

Red vs Hiccup. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Raichous and RaccoonBroVA)

JustGamer as Mr. Game & Watch 
Spidey Fam as Henry Stickmin
Written by JustGamer, Sculpture, YLFEthan
Beat by Kustom
Mixed and Mastered by Glitch

Mr. Game & Watch:
Watch me grapple your cheap road gimmick and then have it unraveled
You're not breaking any NewGrounds so take the path less traveled
Constantly getting saved by Ellie and then you go and cause more fuss? 
Prepare yourself for this fire rap track, or you’ll crash and burn like Charles does
You take a half-finished plot and throw other people’s properties in between 
But you can’t see your constant referencing, with your winking at the screen
Then you got blind sided by Among Us distracting all your players
Just think of this as Youtubers reacting to another of your failures

Henry Stickmin:
You know, you and I are not that different, we’re cut from a similar cloth 
But your raps are so boring you must be channeling your Innersloth 
Parachute from my airship before you make like a f-air hit and bomb that 
You'll fall flat, cause I'm used to battling foes that talk in all cap
The legendary thief, Henry Stickmin
Will easily be able to steal the win
Against the scrappy average hack
Laying in the handheld console bargain bin
Even riding solo, this hero remains fearless
While you always remain so low on the tierlists
Nowadays, your fame has faded away
Cause Nintendo gave Wario your whole schtick

Mr. Game & Watch:
Took one look at making something unique before Fleeing the Complex
Your slapstick sense of humor makes it easy to guess what comes next
Been losing traction since you dropped on Steam
Applying “Random equals funny” in every scene  
And it seems that your greed is so extreme
Won't even share the blame for the death of your team!

Henry Stickmin:
You’ll never be bringing the beef, even with your neutral B
Being replaced on modern releases, this novelty can’t topple me
Been in prison before, I know about bars and how to make them 
After this fail, you’ll see trying to battle me is where you were mistaken

Henry Stickmin vs. Mr Game & Watch - Smash Bros vs. Anything



King Mewtwo as Postman Pat

RaccoonBroVA As the Unabomber

Beat by: Dansonn

Written by: RNG
Help from: King Mewtwo and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by: Zagranis



Pat: (0:22)
It's not a great day in Greendale with Theodore John Kazynski 
I’m the master of the mail I’ll be delivering disses see?
I got a black and white cat, you're just a black sheep
The UNA-BUM of the Freedom Club can't best me
Your brain got twisted by 3 years of torture
When you got sick as a kid it messed you up even more so
If being sick was the cause of all your bombing murder sprees
What makes you think trying to spit sick won't also bomb verbally?
I run my rounds on this beat it's not my tires that are poppin
Cause on the microphone i'm a Greendale Rocket
With a diss on flow 
there's an L through your door, and this one wont blow 

Ted: (0:55)
Wait, who is this, some british bitch made for kids?
Theres nothing fucking to him how am i supposed to diss
Oh well i guess for killing a beat i'll take another guilty plea
Cause for a postman you have terrible delivery
You embody the thing that I hate the most Pat
Mindless nothing of a children's show Pat
Tech filled entertainment taking meaning from life
With fake “education” slowly melting away minds
Then you were made worse when you became CGI    
I'm not surprised computers took away any of your life
Yet it seems you’re out of date most people leave you forgot
Even I’ve been alive years after your show’s motion stopped

Pat: (1:28)
Ted that wasn't very nice, but I’m not talking about your crimes
When You’ve not had 16 lines but you bombed 16 times
I'm doing my dream job while you just dropped from yours
I provide for my family while you leeched off of yours
I teach kids lessons in being kind and growing up
You teach people horrid lessons by blowing them up
I diss sharp on a track that i run like my van
Movement ended by your brother, should be used to backstabs

Ted: (1:50)
A Clifftons loss usually upsets me but not when
you clowned with Ted like you had to make cash for your execs 
You talk of my family and how "backstabbing brought my end"
But you gave a ginger kid to one of your blonde friends
And you wish to diss my methods of saving humanity 
When you do nothing for the world mindlessly sitting there happily
Watching an episode of yours is an insanity plea
But we’re done here i want back in my cell for some peace



The Unabomber vs Postman Pat - RNG Rap Battle

Thumbnail created by: Fightmarker
Mixed by: Serena

Oofie:
JustGamer, think you’re so tough, Gamer
Selling bathwater to please your lust, Gamer
Got Sam to suck Gamer, got him to trust Gamer
Then you got your whole crew to do your stuff, Gamer
Fired me for being bad, but you couldn’t edit either
Voiced the Zodiac Killer, but you just can’t work with cyphers
So you worked with EpicLLOYD, but listen closely, man
It’s only cause you kissed ass on Patreon, might have to bring it to OnlyFans
JG, well how would J see
When he knows Oofie will leave him slayed, beat
I’ve seen better qualities come from Psytube 
Jealous of his success, is that why you fight, dude?

JustGamer:
They put me up against the humanized version of Roblox? Well bring it on! 
We know exactly how this match will go like you leaked it from a Patreon!
Dressed as the KKK, why is it this toddler can never act proper?
Even now your writing remains problematic, so why even bother?
You should go get your lyrics redone by Benny
The quality has only improved since you left DRB 
Maybe I should scrap this and rap against RNG
Cause next to him, you look even lower in quality
So don’t tussle with me I suggest that you make like your joke series and just stay resting
Against the guy who could never go solo, I think it’s pretty clear “Which Is The Best Thing”

Oofie:
Editing’s crashed, your crediting’s trash
The evidence is that 
You’ll be deafened with the facts
You talk about my writing, but you don’t do shit, how?
Cause when it comes to battle progress, you seem to Glitch out
Salty cause your style’s weak, don’t invoke the god
“Yo Oofie! We should battle!” Thinking that he’ll beat my whole squad
But like Serena and those other fake ass rappers 
I’ll get you solidified as a low fucking fraud...

JustGamer:
Oh that was your verse? I’ve always knew you write by going “man puns are fun” 
And getting meme’d by Dustin is the only time that you’re taking number one
Also where’s your invite to the big royale? I’m newer to the community but even that
Didn’t stop the fact I’m always gonna be more talented than this trashy hack

Oofie:
Wow, you talk Dustin but I’ve already seen you hanging in his basement
Then brag it to all your friends, acting like that’s some based shit
And your stupid Scott the Woz voice, why don’t you botch that thought
I’m getting heated right now: an awfully hot coffee pot...
Your lines hiro-hit or miss, just straight up pitiful shit
You’re just another Zagranis who thinks they’re packing hits
But this Gamer girl doesn’t have bathwater flow, those lines won’t sell
It’d be better if you quit both this battle and DRB as well

JustGamer:
Almost everyone in your crew has completely abandoned you
And it ain’t a coincidence that since then they’ve all seemed to improved
Tried to redeem an old battle but you only made it a bigger joke
“Yeah we only need one take Kyle” You were on drugs blowing all that smoke
Quitting on your own series, you’re complete trash, kid
Learn to take criticism, cause matter of the fact is
If you actually practiced, you could be well established
But the only close call here is your entry on the blacklist
So don’t step up to me, you’ll come to see, ultimately
No matter what aspect, you’ll always get your ass rekt by the JG MC

Oofie vs. JustGamer

Jeffree Star Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Tom Savini Voiced By Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie
Beat Prod. by Frankie Vibes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NbTwBZMMI

Jeffree:
I’m sorry, but why do you wanna face this?
Looking like Ted White after a Jason face lift!
Gotta be a prank. Did the Dobres tape this?
Call you a powder foundation, ya basic!
Now I’ve been used to drama, but this has-been as my rival kinda lowers the bar
I’m fuck-proof on the mic, we’re worlds apart, Hitting you so hard, call me Jeffree WorldStar!
I’ll shatter through that haphazard slash man
A fashion disaster, with a flasher ‘stache, damn!
You career’s gone stagnant, The computer’s your replacement
Only fans are the pale nerds locked in their basements!
This Maniac thinks his blood fests are some hot shit
Boils down to gore porn made by a misogynist!
I’ve been told I was prodigy, a god to be, it’s odd to me
To see the Godfather of Gore is trying offing me!
Face it Tommy Boy! You looking Tubby, boy!
Maybe use your make up magic on that tummy, boy!
One watch of your “Wet Dreams” makes me sick!
Of course you like fencing. You’re just a little prick!
Now you get your chance, old man! Don’t have a heart attack grabbing the mic!
Although that would be a fitting end, to “Screaming Mad” George Lite

Tom:
(Heh) Thank god you stopped, think my hearing went dead
That rap made me envy my fake rubber head
Your damn squeaky voice is a spike to the brain
No wonder your music career’s in the drain
Sorry, princess. You’re shilling it, I make my Blood Money from spilling it
So you can try to make me seem villainous. Of course the Sultan of Splatter is killing it!
You’re used to cheap bars, it’s where you got your start in!
I cut my teeth, cutting wrists in Martin!
In that Hollywood circle, your boy was putting in work
You really wanna measure with your Youtube circle jerk?
I know documentaries, got two about Jason
That Shane Daws shlock was just bad product placement!
You only got lies spilling out your painted kisser
But your silver tongue couldn’t protect you from the sisters!
Cashing in on Controversy, it seems like a crapshoot!
So try to run the track. You can’t handle a tracksuit!
Think it’s time for the living Bratz doll to behave
You can watch me Sundance on top of your channel’s grave!
Hope you’re ready to burn out Jeff, ‘cause that’s all that Stars do
I’m spitting, committed to splitting you. You won’t be around for part 2!

Jeffree:
Watch it hun! I’m an internet icon, this bygone is nothing!
You really can’t throw shade at the shine coming off my Diamond button!
Got millions of followers, your demographic is teeny!
With the way you treat female fans, the real “Creepshow”’s Savini!
Enough Smoke and Mirror, your whole life is bomb
This fake vet was only shooting pics in Vietnam 
Everything you do misfires, it seems to be your lot
Maybe you could ask your daughter how to shoot a better shot

Tom:
Again you go for the cheapest hits, the easy shit, you freaking ditz!
This racist kid, and tasteless twit. Your talents being wasted, bitch!
Wanna question my honor? Your love life is a goner
Only fit in at my school as a model for the monster!
Keep calling me old? Well you’re goddamn right!
Was making movies violent when you were back at Prom Night!
Film is a magical medium, but even I couldn’t make your bars stand out
With that crap performance, even your fans are thinking….What Now?

Jeffree Star Vs. Tom Savini(Prod. by Frankie vibes)

The authors of unknown and incomprehensible horrors face off in a rap battle.

JustGamer as Junji Ito
Tony Rigatoni as H. P. Lovecraft (video)
RaccoonBroVA as H. P. Lovecraft (audio)
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan. Oofie, MaviKartal2003
Additional writing help by Cri, WDRB and M&Matt 
Research done by MaviKartal2003
Edited by Oofie and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Beatg33kz
Cover art by KCToons

Junji Ito (0:15):
Ito’s flow gets dough you didn't know
So I’ll hit you with unseen horrors
Walk through my rap mountain and be a tourist
You made the mold, now like Amigara, I’mma leave it broken!
Notice, how an inspiration
Like my own set of manga collection
Able to beat your whole sheet of mythical beasts
With classics like Uzamaki and Tomie! 
Yeah sure, later on you had an impact
But from your early life, you were in fact
Never able to sustain yourself
Until you died, dust stayed on your shelves
For Lovecraft’s entire life, he was far too poor and sickly
Many games came from his work, but Howard couldn’t keep his HP

H. P. Lovecraft (0:44):
From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.
The lines recited were hypocrisy when even YOU look up to me!
Horrors were actually scary back when
I was in charge, and not this sick man’s discharge
But now the OG H.P. is back in 
Can’t stand up to me even with legs on fish, sharks!
I crafted a genre, shocked readers for ages
Instilling dismay when they’re flipping the pages
A shame, you lent your work to Kojima’s game
Then it all went to shit and it left fans outrageous 
I summon ocean flow that crashes down harder than Cthulhu
whereas you flopped even harder than the anime horror collection’s debut!
Lovecraft’s the horror god! Show you this roarer’s thoughts
This wit doesn’t miss, forging the motherfuckin’ Necronomicon
Fostering these flocks of hellspawn
The juggernaut of fear, undermine whatever you have drawn
Writing talent that just can’t be likened
Make like your finale and storm out here frightened 
Dental technician but you pack no bite
Ito’s got a kickin’ from this hallow’s fright!

Junji Ito (1:28):
Those fillers in your rap made it drier than City of Pillars
But judging from my manga Shiver, they’ll call me a serial killer
You went from the Nameless City 
To the readers going: “Name less shit, please!”
With those mythos, you couldn’t spit flow
Your films were a shitshow, it shows!
Can’t keep up the pace, of course you’re a race-ist
Who couldn’t give needs to his family for days, and
You only cursed the paper writing on it
While HP still haunts paper across the nation!
That tumour had left you for dead (Ah!)
Gyo is filled up with dread! (Ah!)
The cats have all become my friends (Aw!)
But with your cat’s name: enough said! (Ah...)

H. P. Lovecraft (1:57):
How can your little Inside Story cast a Shadow Over the Titan of Horror? 
When every story in your inventory's simply body gore porn? (Eugh…)
I got pitted against a peculiar lonely fanatic of cats
Who’s eaten from so much of my work: call you Junji Itadakimasu!
A Beast In The Cave and a beast on the beat
Shan’t need The Alchemist to Love-craft your defeat
Junji’s just jealous that he can’t compete
When I’ve got whole subgenres named after me
Seen better Uzumakis from Naruto, so what makes you think you’re superior?
But now I end this rap battle as the Cthulhu to this inferior!

Junji Ito vs H.P. Lovecraft. SIR Rap Battles (ft. JustGamer & RaccoonBroVA)

CAST:
Iggy Koopa: Freshy Kanal https://www.youtube.com/c/FreshyKanal
Iggy: Commander Jacob https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Iggy Koopa art: KCToons https://www.youtube.com/c/KyleCelezte1350
Mixed by: Freshy Kanal
Editing: Jofinity
Writing: Jofinity
Thumbnail by: Ethan
Beat by: Hollywood Legends

Iggy vs Iggy (feat. Freshy Kanal and Commander Jacob). Super Star Rap Battle!

b3N0 its snowing

Chapo ft SwaggyT

Pedr0we-He Traumatized {New Age + All Gas Radio Exclusive}

The official SoundCloud account for SIR Rap Battles! Here you can access my library of rap battle audios, both with and without videos, as well as remixes of other battles.

Red vs Hiccup. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Raichous and RaccoonBroVA)

SIR Rap Battles

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