Chapter 1 HOMEMADESARAHTONIN

people and songs i can't recommend enough

underground female artists 🖤

homemade sarahtonin

Fuck the boy who showed me this song

People That You Love Treat You Really Bad

Smoke Demons

An Oldie I made when I was in a group band

Lyrics:
I want to see your face tonight
Kiss me while I hold you tight
Just leave all your problems behind
Just dance with me in the moonlight 

Baby I'll whisper in your ear
Tell you all the thing you wanna hear
Just know that I am here
Please don't shed, 
Please don't shed another tear

Summer Split

Chica

gems

mesmerized

I Don't Want You In My Head

an unconventional way of meeting someone

brrr

you sure know
how to make 
me
feel so little
but i won't take it
even though
we're both unstable
and it's know the healthiest thing 
for us
at all
i'm not even sure if there's an us
at all

but you looked at me and then white boy the same
even though he only had half of my brain
and we both know clearly i'm better than him
and we both know you'd go ahead and hold his hand

how do you manage
to stay in my head for so long
and i'm trying my hardest 
to forget while i'm still young

but you looked at me and then white boy the same
even though he only had half of my brain
and we both know clearly i'm better than him
and we both know you'd go ahead and hold his hand

that white boy

lay down
on your bed
kiss your forehead
or
leave me
to myself
cause i don't need your help

she's leaving
me
but then again
this ain't the first time that happened to me

the sun is
breathing down
my neck
and i've been
better all alone
as a total wreck

she's leaving
me
but then again
this ain't the first that happened to me

ur not that special

I am not

i know you  got other people staring at you
but that don’t change the fact that you got me staring too
(yeah)
ooo
(mmhm yeah)
her face resembles the sun; so blindlingly beautiful
but you start hurting once you look at it for too long
(staring at the sun is not good)
oh
she’s beginning to be a familiar figure in my dreams
and i can’t wait for it to all become reality
(keep on dreaming pal)
eh
i’lll sneak out to your house and we could watch that movie
you talked about when you said that it was getting boring
(probably cause you're boring)
ing

*an okay solo*

adry

phoenix

a song about how lonely i am that the only thing keeping my head company are the bumps on my forehead

i’ve been waiting for the sun to come up
all these nights have been the same i’ve had enough
i’ve been wondering if i can trust my guts
i can’t stop it now i think that’d be abrupt  

and if i think too much i might just end up dead
just like what hapenned to romeo and juliet
these bumps are the only things accompanying my head
and if i disregard their existence they’ll get upset

bumps on my forehead

just there

walking out of a party
on saturday night
walking out of a party
all your friends are real charming
real charming and nice
all your friends are real charming
you'll pretend you don't know me
don't know me and i'll
i'll pretend you don't know me
past nine and i'm getting sleepy
i'm closing my eyes
past nine and i'm sleepy

how many times will you walk right past me
how many times will you walk by and notice that i'm

just there
just there
just there
just there

and the crowd's getting wild
there's dirt all around
oh the crowd's pretty wild
your friends all have the same style
they're all up on clouds
your friends all have the same style
i'm sure you all have old vinyls
of velvet underground
sublime and billy idol
you think you're all original
with your marlboros
and some very cheap alcohol 

how many times will you walk right past me
how many times will you walk by and notice that i'm

just there
just there
just there
just there

just there
just there
just there
just there

just there

lone wolf

LYRICS

i've been waiting for months on end
and she's been pulling some stunts once again

now that he's out of the picture
i can get a little bit closer
to you

i've been waiting for days and nights
so i can walk you to that stoplight
if you'd like

now that he's out of the picture
you'll realize that you deserve better
(maybe its me, maybe its not. i don't know, but i'm hoping it is)

SICK SOLO

out of the picture

lyrics:

i've been roaming around these places
seeing all these faces
i've always seen before
i'm still trine catch you staring
hoping that you're waiting
cause you can't leave me wanting more

i'm wondering
when will she feel the same again
if anything
surely i'll be dead by then

you've been looking at me funny
is there something you won't tell me
just know that i can handle it
you're still pretending that you don't
see me cause you know
that it's just a bottomless pit

i'm wondering
when will she feel the same again
if anything
surely i'll be dead by then

dead by then

GURL

NOT A SONG ABOUT LOVERS! A SONG ABOUT FRIENDS!

you said you want
what’s best for me
now here you are
just wrecking me 

it’s getting old
you’re telling me
you’re just repeating
history

now you scream

you’re selfish, immature
don’t know what you’re looking for
gotta take this time to learn
what you want for sure

words you’re saying
are enough
then you come back
to beat me up

it’s for the best
believing you
i break my neck
because it’s true

now i view
that

i’m selfish, immature
don’t know what i’m looking for
gotta take this time to learn
what i want for sure

tough love

song format was inspired by gus dapperton! the song is about a girl though like always hahahaha



hey
you talk too much and it's a pain
i don't know how and what to say
i think it's time we take a break

look
it isn't just your attitude
it's what you did and what you do
and all the mess you put me through

take your name back out of my mind
(i don't want it)
put it somewhere else maybe a friend of mine
(she'll probably take it)

go
girls like you walk so fucking slow
since the start i know you've known
but you've pretended that you don't

look
it isn't just your attitude
it's what you did and what you do
and all the mess you put me through

take your name back out of my mind
(i don't want it)
put it somewhere else maybe a friend of mine
(she'll probably take it)
(she'll probably take it)
(cause i dont want it)

no
no i don't want it oh
she'll probably take it so
what are you waiting for
what are you waiting

no
no i don'y want it oh
she'll probably take it
she'll probably take it all

gus dapperton, i'm coming for u

HOW ARE YOU FEELING

are you feeling kinda lonely
are you feeling kinda sad
are you feeling kinda angry
are you feeling kinda mad
are you feeling kinda dizzy
are you feeling kinda bad
are you feeling kinda sucky
are you feeling kinda bland

how are you feeling

she doesn't seem to like me

this pretty girl won't love me
she says she only likes my clothing
well i just wanna give her my loving
kiss her face and all her judgements

but if we try
you'll realize
that you don't mind
kissing me all night

but!

she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
is it me or is it just me

this pretty girl won't trust me
she said she's scared she'll end up hurting
but every night i lay down thinking
feel her touch upon my soft skin

but if we try
you'll realize
that you don't mind
kissing me all night

but!

she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
she doesn't seem to like me
is it me or is it just me

she doesnt seem to like me

she doesn't seem to like me

close 2 u

Lyrics:

Feeling low (on my own) 
Feeling low 

I heard you say
You never wanna see my face 
You can stop pretending now 
Games are all over now 
x2

I see now, 
You ain’t ever gonna feel my pain 
If you never get inside my brain 
Baby I just went insane 
Keep lights out 
You can’t help but fucking feel me now 
Baby I just wanna hear you out 
But my musics bumping way too loud 
I guess I caught up on my feelings now 
You ain’t ever gonna break me down 

I heard you say
You never wanna see my face 
You can stop pretending now 
Games are all over now 
I don’t wanna hear what 
they gotta say right now 
I just tried to kill my old self in the 
background 
He don’t wanna deal with my mind and the crying, he just wants my body but he doesn’t know my im dying

DEAD END 

Bitter Aura (ft. Dommy)

Track 5 from my EP, "A Thousand Winds." 

Lyrics:

I walked down to Mirror Lake
Tracing pictures in the waves
Memories gone to faded blue
Souvenirs I have of you
All I knew

Still I wait by the waterside
Till the hour dies
And I wait by the waterside 
Till the hour dies

Fallen faces left behind
Valley carved in space and time
Will we find a way to reach
Atmospheric unity
You and me?

Still I wait by the waterside
Till the hour dies
I can wait for you all the time
But I know you’ve died

I walked down to Mirror Lake
One more life evaporates
All I wanted was to see
Your reflection next to me

Mirror Lake

I don’t really like that
If I broke your heart now
Would you break it right back
Cause I don’t really like that

I don’t really like that
I just wanna fight back
I want you to use me
Mentally abuse me
You’re not really like that
And I don’t really like that

You’re not what I’m used to
I Can’t see through you
I don’t wanna feel
But I don’t wanna lose you
I don’t really like that
No I don’t really like that

I don’t really like that
Nothing but a nerve rack
Why don’t you run from me
Leave me to the train tracks
You’re not really like that
And I don’t wanna like that

You are the shy boy
Praying to the sky boy
I am the bad girl 
just like her dad girl 
Why do you want me
Cause nobody wants me

Did you read the label
I have the baggage
I’ve got depression
And my lungs are ashes
I’m not the package
Not even average

It’s Crazy how my life goes
You don’t know the story though
Boy that I loved 
Stomped on my heart so
I guess I am cold now
At least That’s what I’m told now 

If you wanna love me
You need patience 
You need strength 
And a permanent vacation 
My safe haven
I guess that’s what I’m craving 

There’s a hole in my soul
Where someone used to be and
My anxieties are always watching me
and I need some saving 
Am I what you’re craving

Just Know that I won’t hurt you
If I do It’s not true 
Look me in eyes and
Tell me I don’t want you 
Cause you know I want you
I’m just scared to love you

If I were to love you
There’d be fire
Cities would burn 
And I’d be your sire
Until you get tired

They always get tired

Dont throw me away 
Like I’m one of your toys
And Don’t act too different in front of your boys 
Just fill my void
Will you bring me joy

just there

sivadivadoo