feeling numb

Vibes XVIII

My Last Birthday

Underground Alternative

Keeping Me High

God Songs

Bugs & Humans

LURK ⚬ RAZEGOD ✝︎ NOTIONS - BELLY UP

written / performed by @blckbrds, @salivagrey
produced by @gullyspit
engineered by @tumaggz, Saliva Grey
cover by Blckbrd

BULLETHELL (w/ Saliva Grey)

Collaboration between Gullyspit and @salivagrey
Produced/Engineered by Gullyspit

Lyrics:
Verse 1: Gullyspit
this that 1989 shit we bringing in the tanks 
now we got to attention you forgot about the flanks
got you hiding from your neighbours all your papers in the safe
3D printed guns, thermite all over the banks 
I got paranoia creeping it’s a feeling I can’t shake
perestroika agents i can’t roll around with snakes
got y’all wishing to be royals I want royals on stake
the world is up in flames shit you just survived a plague 
and still you happy with whatever they can’t finish off they plate
cut you into pieces like they cutting up a steak
killing in the name shit nobody can escape 
put your hands together for a bullet in yo brain 
throw yo body in the drain send you back into the ocean 
go neglect yo kids and fantasize bout a promotion 
this that violence you provoking 
they neck was made for choking
you think that I been joking ?
Chorus:  Gullyspit
this that needles in yo iris
that cut away the virus 
that random act of violence 
that exit hole so wide it’s just a blessing that he lifeless 
we looking for a problem
we hear to cause a crisis
x2
Verse 2: SALIVA GREY
Flush you little shit stain yo body go in septic 
Disembowel all yo membranes embodiment of fetish
Pissing up on yo grave like I took a diuretic
Seizing through yo brain now you be looking epileptic 
I’m encrypting all my messages
Show me where the evidence?
Post traumatic blessed suicidal Grey the veteran
Who gon set the precedent?
Cities looking desolate
Power to the people tell me where the fuck our leverage is?
No etiquette 
Sever yo fucking hope ain’t gon be better days
We get erased 
Evaporate
Yo limbs gon fucking separate
That 9 to 5
Yo fucking life
I really hope you get a raise
Man fuck y’all dependent the way you be living can’t think for yourself ain’t no vision
I put my dick right where yo sight is
Population spineless
Gully and Saliva spit that Grey up in yo eyelids 
Hive is acting righteous 
Complain about yo life when
This shit was handed to you on a platter ain’t gon bite in?
This that 1945 shit
Gon vaporize yo family
You such a fucking fetus Wish yo mama took a plan b
This that change that you demanding
I hope that you can’t stand me
You’ll never understand me
Bridge: Gullyspit
this that plaque above the gum line
bitch we that type of rotten 
we that typa a toxin
you that typa weasel
there aint shit we got in common 
we got glass up in our pocket 
welcome to the market 
everyone around us is just here to make a profit 
hit you in yo stomach all yo words have turned to vomit 
 be cautious
bullets coming at you like a Kennedy in office 
why they stop at Jonny they forgot about the Congress ?
Chorus x2

GUMLINE w/ SALIVA GREY

love the world and it'll love you back

if you're a girl and single, DM me... maybe..

[Verse 1]
I'm feeling detached
There's no coming back
I wanted to say that
I hate you
The hate in my heart
It drives me so far
Away from the things that
I always knew

[Chorus]
I miss the love that I know I lost
I miss the one that I love a lot
Drinking alone in the parking lot
When is it gonna stop?

[Verse 2]
You're all getting kids
You're all bowling pins
That I would strike down
If life was a game
So thoughtless and cruel
You think you're so cool
I don't think you deserve
Another day

[Chorus]
I miss the love that I know I lost
I miss the one that I love a lot
Drinking alone in the parking lot
When is it gonna stop?
I miss thе one that I know I lost
I miss the one that I lovе a lot
Drinking again in the parking lot
When is it gonna stop?

The Love I Lost - Fried by Fluoride

https://ffm.to/n2bg7w3

cover art by noah greene https://temberl.in/

it didn't have to be like this
_________________________________
(do you remember me?)

hold it close to you
broken bowed a new
i thought this was life
watch the thread unwind

we were in zion that summer
i was still trying to breathe
watch it corrode the isomers
everything i couldn't keep

all the nights that we spent being young
the copper rocks under our feet
the pastures never felt so wrong
up in flames your favorite evergreen

pull the needle through
laces lorn the center

i promise i wasn't crying
there was just smoke in my eyes
holding you until the morning
i'd fall in and out of the fire
wreathed in hollow ivory
christened collows bedaubing 

and i saw your body covered in roses 
and i started screaming, nobody noticed
the locket you gave me thread intertwined
tearing taut at the seams when it started unwinding 
i fell out the trunk of your dad's four wheel drive 
and we laughed it off when we called it a night
through the laurels and brushweeds we walked side by side
god you were so pretty even when we were crying 
cus' the rust started falling i ran out of time 
watch the world invert into infrared light 
lying lithe on the duff dying embers dissolving 
the smoke in my lungs couldn't stop me from calling your name
but i, (2x)

laurel

LYRICS

[X2]
fall into you
i feel like i’m wasted
theres nothing to lose 
feel your vibrations
crawl into you 
there’s nothing left of me

[X2]
it wouldn’t hurt you to get a break 
find some time
if only i just could just think for me
time just flies

fallintoyou

Come Over When You're Sober, Pt. 2 (og version)

runaway (og version)

Seasons Change

she turn me to a rocket man, i ain't coming down </3

rocket man (prod. grayskies) OUT ON ALL PLATFORMS

bonnie & clyde xox (prod. crcl)

Produced By. Billy Sane
Artwork By. Sick Again
Engineered By. Baby Gos

I just dropped a pill inside my juice
I don’t like to be alone i like to feel abused
I been chillin by my lonely in my room
I Idon’t like to go outside, hiding from my doom￼
So shorty why you always on my back?
Baby don’t open the blinds i like it when it’s black
I been tryna make it happen hella fast
foot ain’t ever on the brake it’s always on the gas

She be kissing on my neck as she clawing at my belt
shorty cannot keep away like she in love with my smell
I can only wish her well help her break from her spell
cuz how tf i’m posed to love if i cannot even love myself?

If she
Wanna test me make it rain up in this bitch
If he
Wanna try me slide the blade right down his wrist
Iffy
If I love or even care for this bitch
But I
Know that imma end this night with a kiss

I just dropped a pill inside my juice
I don’t like to be alone i like to feel abused
I been chillin by my lonely in my room
I Idon’t like to go outside, hiding from my doom￼
So shorty why you always on my back?
Baby don’t open the blinds i like it when it’s black
I been tryna make it happen hella fast
foot ain’t ever on the brake it’s always on the gas

Spinning out the whip I gotta dash
I’ma trash it
Spinning out my mind I hit the stash
Till the ash hit

Living and existing ain’t the same
I know that shit
Creating to survive until I thrived
When did that hit

Cult fuck round
Got a thousand kids
We done raw dogged life
Using dreams as spit
I done live this life like I’m leaving it
Please wake up, you are sleeping in

I just dropped a pill inside my juice
I don’t like to be alone i like to feel abused
I been chillin by my lonely in my room
I Idon’t like to go outside, hiding from my doom￼
So shorty why you always on my back?
Baby don’t open the blinds i like it when it’s black
I been tryna make it happen hella fast
foot ain’t ever on the brake it’s always on the gas

Spotify

ABUSED ft. $LOTHBOI [prod. Billy Sane]

forget me when the summer ends

again

hypnotized
if you come down to the garden we could verbalize
for the hollow of your mother
you could chase the time
and turn it into something else
all the things you did to me are poisoned
with immaculate intelligence that i feel
whoever told you that You can turn it down at godspeed

its ok now
but all i wanted was a feeling

one free fall
shutdown
rising me from the above
smacking me into the ground
if i could
i would let you know the truth
but all i see is staring at and waiting for me
cant let it decieve

all the morning routes
and the night sky
we're just falling out
in a new time
line the feeling
open my eyes
break the ceiling
as the wall cries
about meanings
no regarding
only live it
in the timelapse
and believe it
like do magic
like the kids we used to be

one free fall
shutdown
rising me from the above
smacking me into the ground
all i see is burning colors
i dont wanna see the light

Break the pen
I dont wanna play nor pretend
That we could be something that would work
Only if we break all the amends
I dont wanna have you as a friend and i dont wanna hear from you again
Everything thats been on your mouth
You can let it have some air
I fall through the pieces of the glass
Always on my phone but left on read
I dont wanna feel like im a mess
But i really think that im a mess
I dont wanna have you as a friend and i dont wanna hear from you again
Everything thats been on your mouth

https://www.instagram.com/p/C-99kt1MsWI/

soft

damn, it's been a while since i logged on here, sorry about that.

found this one digging through his old hard drive, there's a bunch of songs i want to upload from there at some point. Never even knew he made this until recently though, makes me wonder how much other music of his remained unfinished or lost.

anyway, from the lyrics i can kind of piece together the circumstances being written about here, but i think it would be better kept a personal matter. I will say that it's something me and him both had to deal with, and it was probably significantly harder on him. That kid went through an amount of hardship that would break most people.

come to think of it 2011 was just a bad year in general for us. Mom was really struggling to make ends meet, dad's health was getting worse, and we'd basically been forced to sell the couple acres that our grandpa gave us in his will. Good news though was our older sister had moved back from out of state, so she was supporting us in any way she could.

Zion had also lost a close friend that year unfortunately. Everyone had said it was a vehicle accident, but i learned later he'd been fucking around with inhalants, and that was that. Can't even imagine how hard it must've been on his parents. Sadder part is it wasn't even that uncommon, around that area at least. Even the most unassuming blue collar neighborhoods can be hiding really deplorable shit. I do hope that wherever Zion is now though, he has better friends. Because he deserved them.

i saw a seraph on the street today. he was laughing and crying, cause nobody knew his name

i saw the devil on the promenade. bundled in flagstone, writing checks that I can’t pay

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

carriage, brim your bones

i saw my father on the news today. he was tracing his prayer beads, as the red and blue took him away

bevel the whipsaw for the cavalcade. I’m eating your bullets, with a spoon made out of clay

and I am a lamb wrapped up in thermogen. shear off all the stope you take

keep her there, failing throne

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

i know you're starting to get scared of me
the more i try, the worse it gets
and i can't stand the way they stare at me
but i'll try to live with my regrets

flagstone𐂂𐂂𐂂nov2011.wav

dying in october (prod. farber)

i heard shawty like dancing in the twilight..</3

twilight (prod. ve)

i'm a demigod, a master, to fall for the capture </3

earl stan x loat! - infected (prod. crcl)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOG7MLPnj-Q&ab_channel=enxgmv

Where You Once Were |prod. pilotkid (MUSIC VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION)

prod. c world 

lyrics :



I can tell you all about my 
very ordinary life 
but I know deep inside
you would never even give me a chance 

I was really hoping I could find
somebody to call mine 
an spend a lil time  
you would never even give me a chance 

Right before the night got closer  
I’d like to know if 
I can win you over 
Would you just give me your hand let’s have a dance 

she said no thank you no surprise 
I should expect this every time 
still was one for me to find 

Tapped out can’t find you 
There was not a single thing for me to do
Tapped out can’t find you 
There was no a single thing I can do x2

I know there was only one I need
No one wanted to be stuck with me 
should I just wait and maybe see

I know there was only one I need
No one wanted to be stuck with me 
should I just wait and maybe see

I can tell you all about my 
very ordinary life 
but I know deep inside
you would never even give me a chance 

I was really hoping I could find
somebody to call mine 
an spend a lil time  
you would never even give me a chance 

Right before the night got closer  
I’d like to know if 
I can win you over 
Would you just give me your hand let’s have a dance

she said no thank you no surprise 
I should expect this every time 
still was one for me to find

ordinary life

particles p. wraithontheporch

I feel this weight on my chest
I pray my soul to keep
Oh yeah to give it some rest

I'm awake till the sun's up
Cause I'm scared to sleep
No nightmares of monsters
Just dreams of you and me

Suicide on my mind again
I just want all the pain yeah to end
I can't get you out of my head
I might just jump off the edge

Tell me who would care anyway
Fuck it, inside, I'm already dead

Where'd it all go wrong
When did you get so numb
Don't wanna get up, oh no
I wonder how will it end
I'm thinking suicide
Wanna get out of here
I wanna get up out of here
Wanna get out of here

I fall apart, I'm my own enemy
It's all my fault, I hate how I'm empty

I won't lie, I've been wearing the same old jeans
For the past two weeks
Getting high off of anything, my mind
Running in circles tonight

Suicide all on my mind
Running out of options and time
I don't f*ck with that pity love
Y'all the reason why I can't trust

I don't f*ck with that fake love
I'd rather feel nothing yeah nothing at all

Where'd it all go wrong
When did you get so numb
Don't wanna get up, oh no
I wonder how will it end
I'm thinking suicide
Wanna get out of here
I wanna get up out of here
Wanna get out of here

My head running in circles again
When will the torment all end

Tell me that you understand
I crave for something I won't get
My tank running on empty
How did you become my enemy

I know you think oh less of me
I'm on the verge of insanity
Come on girl, stop the front
I'm not the one you want
I'm not the one you want
We know we go

Suicide on my mind again

I just want all the pain yeah to end
Maybe I'll just jump off the edge

Suicide on my mind again
I just want all the pain yeah to end

Maybe I'll just jump off the edge
F*ck

SUICIDE w/@yuusef (prod. lostangel x jaysset)

Lyrics: Shit had me shocked 
When I saw you in a telegram 
But it reminded me how beautiful ur body is, goddamn 
Now I’m checking all my socials just to see a bit of fucking track 
But you regretted your choices so I pray that it’s fucking facts 

Same face different choice 
That’s what I fucking live for 
Mad shade, pure respect 
That’s I fucking love for 

I just really gotta be so honest 
I hope you heard the song “kept my promise” 
You keep on landing in my fucking dreams 
And I don’t ever wanna be off it 

I want to sleep longer 
Just to feel your conscience 
I just want to breathe longer to 
One day feel your presence 
But I want to die sooner 
So you can feel your haunted 
I just wish I see you tryna do the fucking same thing

different choice (prod. rosefromthepain)

prod. by me https://soundcloud.com/luv_armor
featuring https://soundcloud.com/hoeplessboy

[nvr nvmbr]
my wrist like a freezer
i’m drinkin’ tequila 
this ain’t Aquafina

i’ll bleed, i’m anemic
she said that she needs it
i’m watchin’ her fiendin’, ohhh

i flow like i’m chosen
the city, it’s frozen
she said that i’m goated, ohhh

she’s givin’ me throat
then i’m sendin’ her home
can’t let her get me out my zone

i’m fillin’ my chalice with blood
‘cause i don’t give a fuck
EQ out the mud
now she suckin’ my nuts

i’m with Zane in the truck
you know that we’re drunk
your bitch in the cut
& she’s tryna get fucked

i’ll blow out my brain tonight
i think that i’m goin’ insane tonight
she’s grabbin’ on both of my chains tonight
i thought i never could change, i might

sick to my stomach
fall; feel it plummet
i’m reachin’ towards something
but receivin’ nothing

save time by dyin’ 
‘cause i’m dead inside
you’ll be alright
when i leave you behind

i swear that i’m tryin’ 
& i need you tonight
just come & say hi
can’t get you off my mind..

you know i’ma demon
i’m tweakin’ & geekin’
she’s eatin’ my semen

i ain’t got a reason
you know that i’m leavin’
‘cause you left me bleedin’, ohh

i told you i need it
you changed like a season
i’m way off the deep end

i’m scarin’ my friends & my family
losin’ my sanity
i know that i’ll die in the snow

my wrist like a freezer 
i’m drinkin’ tequila
this ain’t Aquafina

i’ll bleed, i’m anemic
she said that she needs it
i’m watchin’ her fiendin’, ohhh

she’s actin’ so trife 
so i’m grabbin’ my knife
then i’m takin’ that bitch for a ride

[hoepless]
takin’ that bitch for a ride
smokin’ all night but i’m never alright
forgot about her but you stay on my mind
never on his but your always on mine

i’m at home, i’m poppin’ these benzos 
crash this whip it’s a rental 
need her heart but i took her life
that ain’t what i meant tho

you wanna say that you miss me
i wanna say that i miss you
you’re alright when i took your heart
i ain’t know it was ice cold

right time but the wrong hoe
i don’t know what I’m gon’ do
you don’t know that I’m upset
you don’t even know I let you go

you don’t know what I meant
you don’t know how I go
you don’t know how I am
you don’t know how I roll

you don’t know how I am
you don’t know how I go
you don’t know how I am
you don’t know how I go..

tequila

iTunes

i have 76+ hours on the oblivion remake already... talos save me

Praying To The Nines (prod. Ushanka Boy)

lyrics ⬇️

i talk a lot about you i dont think you think of me
i hate the ridicule i feel like this is hide and seek
switch perspectives for a second maybe you would see
its not really all that perfect in this deep blue sea
i checked my vitals and my heart is beating beautifully 
nevermind the thoughts i had of what it coudlnt be
cuz i dont think too much or at all when i fall asleep
and im so sorry when you call i know you gon hear the beep
and its my fault that i did everything i did to you

but if you didnt jump conclusions i think wed be cool
split my body armor when you uncovered the truth
i drank that that poison every night
didn’t have nun to lose
not much else to do
like now that i can’t fall asleep
ur the only thing in my thoughts I miss all the dreams
it was nice that I escaped my sick reality
but now i gotta go right back to find my inner peace 

i talk a lot about you i dont think you think of me

i checked my vitals and my heart is beating beautifully 

and im so sorry when you call i know you gon hear the beep
and its my fault that i did everything i did to you

but if you didnt jump conclusions i think wed be cool
split my body armor when you uncovered the truth
i drank that that poison every night
didn’t have nun to lose
not much else to do
like now that i can’t fall asleep

now that I can’t fall asleep (secre)

AFTERLIFE (FT. STAGGY) [PROD. CMAK]

Sudden Moves *prod. ilynedia*

I started listening to the voices, and I discovered that I could use them to my advantage. I began learning how to control my hallucinations and use them to help me in everyday life. Now, I can use my hallucinations to find hidden things and to warn me of danger. I am the most powerful person with schizophrenia.

different choice (prod. rosefromthepain)

slashy