Ooooops never mind.

A rural paranoia ballad for the nights when the sky is too bright to hide anything… yet something walks beside you anyway.  Deep gravel voice over open-Em baritone acoustic with frozen strings, one endless unresolved bowed-cello drone, faint static electricity, and boots crunching frost at 38 BPM. No drums. Only breath, star-silence, and the ancient prey-brain that never learned to shut up.
Crystalline terror in perfect visibility.

Running makes it real

every time I build it up
knowing damn well it’s just going to fall down
guess I’m good at breaking things

met you unexpected, vibe electric
connection got me reckless, confessing aggressive
told you half my life in a night, to second guess it
woke up feeling vulnerable, my pride’s protective
now I’m pulling back, doing friendship backflips
scared I showed too much, leave emotions in a casket
can't keep it surface level, I drown beneath appearances
apologies sound repetitive, habits ain’t mysterious
want to let you closer, but panic is automatic
afraid you’ll see the damage, so ghosting is the tactic
open up just to close again, confusing mathematics
push away dramatic, emotional gymnastics
catch myself tripping, overthinking basics
anxiety so contagious, I sabotage relations
laugh at flaws, act calm like I can fake it
put you up so high I can never make it
so scared of disappointment, destroy it before it happens
smiling through depression, running from attachment
guess I’m just addicted to making shit complicated
friendships keep sinking and I'm the one who orchestrates it
truth is, trust feels like danger
distance feels safe, but I hate being strangers
tell myself to be real, but fear is overwhelming
putting you on a pedestal is easier than helping
messy with intention, tension from pretending
struggle to explain it, connections keep on ending
overthinking issues, paranoid you'll notice it
elevate to sabotage then call that shit emotionless
blame past scars, excuses have been comfort
half measures, full of apologies, the cycle always covers
caught between wanting friends and fearing what they may uncover
pedestal built so high, swear I do it like no other
patience is what I need, but that won't bring you back
so I’ll keep hurting first, scared of everything I lack
afraid of being boring, afraid of being real
afraid if anyone knew me fully, they’d vanish still
so I'm dodging truth again, running from sincerity
too close means clarity, easier to bury it
pedestal high, build fast, crash faster
damage done, apologies come after
pedestal so high, and I know exactly why
it's easier to run than to let you see inside
yeah, someday I'll face it
but right now
it's complicated

pedestal

The voices are synthetic
The pain is real

pedestal

Slate Theory

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