This is my favorite song thanks for this 😍

self sabotage ★

produced by heylog
enjoy <3

lyrics:
am i alive? guess we'll know if i breathe
i killed them all i can live in peace
i lost a lot, praying for enemies
avoiding evil that i might bring
i'll fight till death if it keeps u safe
i'll kill them all just to make sure ur okay
they charge at me, hold my ground, be brave
i lost my mind and there's nothing that remains

(one, two, three, go)

i just wrote you a letter
i wish u the best
yea i been doin better
and that's a big step
u got what u asked for
a life with no us
but u come back for more
and it's never enough
i just sent a letter
all the way from home
i'll miss u forever
why'd u have to go
i'm caught up in the center
baby i could die
it has been a pleasure
i'll meet u in the sky
this is it yea can't let down my guard
i never talk man, don't put me in charge
i cut her off should've done that from the start
leaving marks
i don't love me
why do i continue? swim in agony
we were so close until u stabbed me
i cut u off too cause u were bad for me
don't come back to me no

i'm so nervous right now i'm tweaking, why can i not speak
i fidget, it's so obvious i have anxiety
u sat there and did nothing while u saw me slowly bleed
i wiped it from my skin now there's scars for eternity
am i okay? guess we'll know if i breathe
check for my pulse to make sure it beats
i lost a lot, it's too much for me to see
i talk to god, praying for my enemies

spotify

the war II

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

prod. @deademane

(heylog)
between the glass
is filled with poison
i feel like trash
apply the ointment
just stay back
he needs some time alone
cus through the cracks
is the widows home
don't come inside here
i would bounce
we're not alive here
don't stick around
when ur minds clear
come in the house
cus i'm not safe here
so get me out

don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

(casperrr)
oh she
she is lying thru her teeth
i swear that she wants to kill me
lay with my lifeless body
while staring at the ceiling
her actions are deceiving
she cuts herself she's bleeding
the blood is running and she really
fucking loves to see it

welcome to the widows home
there's cracks and holes in every wall
the emptyness fills all those holes
this place really tourments my soul
but you can't leave neither can i
i'll go into a room and cry
i'll try to just make up my mind
cut my hair lock myself inside

there's nowhere to go to now
there's no1 to save you now

(heylog + casperrr)
don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

casperrr x heylog - there's nothing left here (deademane)

produced by sleepwater
piano by melon musik

wait for me in my next life
i swear that ill be fine
got three new chains on my neck fye
tell me im divine
got a deer trapped in the headlights
in a road full of pine
its coming near, following through me
i dont really mind if i die
through the window my neck and spine
i watched my body die
on the ground theres blood on the floor
never leave my side
tendants broken to the core
pendants my neck when im sore
penance she let her mourn
permanance purgatory
in doors

It's october, branches casting 
dont let go were everlasting
antidote w car fumes rising
way too close my hairs nearly frying
check his pulse a boy here is dying  
dont convulse a tear, see him trying
release from every joy now im crying
convinced u not to steer, into the dying

chemicals in my heart i feel so gloomy
with you youll tear me apart
im scared youd lose me

me
her

mourn

w @xona

produced by sleepwater speedlmt leftquiet and xona

lyrics

i needed some revenge
but i dont wanna vent
can you hear me now
its hurting my head
stop shutting me down
you were half of me wow
but now your not here
i need a way out
u were liquid to me
maybe mixed w some sea
but now she is flying
i wanna retreat
guard my heart
while u stand
from the mill
its feeling far
when u tell me its real
how could i move on when
i dont even want to
ill let this go on
cos i dont know how to
miss you
another song where
i vent bout my issues
waitings long come rip
out my tissues
im so selfish
everyones got traumas
im not speaking can u let me follow her
do i need therapy or pills in my fucking head
my life expectancy
cheers for all this fucking stress

im escaping every night my fucking hed
pls dont aim in
counting on my fucking hed
collecting all my fucking debt
pounding hard right out my chest
guess im sleeping thats a flex
lets skip eating and have sex
what are you eating guess thats bread
what are you doing no no
who are you with now
its how it spread
would u even like me
cant u tell that im trying
oh pls just like me
i swear that im crying

xona
i thought i need to go and let loose of me
but I’m stuck inside where the sun don’t seep
so i just watch along as the days runs deep
and i got my tea in hand so I’m calm for the least
and i don’t know, who i could be
i feel alone, when there’s others around me
i can’t cope, you know it better than me
to let it go but I’m the worst you could be
to go back home
where I could find a home cause I feel alone
falling, dying right here for you

oh i dont wanna talk
im ruined

ruined w/xona

please dont leave me now
i cant be alone
i cant go out on my own
i get so worked up crawling through the mud
i dont think i can get out

wait
im asleep
when i wake
ill forget
ill get up
draw a breath
try to make you understand me

these things take time
i get it
im not the one who said it
make me believe you meant it
trying to not regret it

worked up

rain w/ xona [p. jolst x 88STRAIT x xona]

i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 

w/ @heylog

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/ezraspandora 

looking back baby,
i already was hollow
toss it back 
way too fast 
till i get through the bottle
i don't wanna leave this club
i just wanna drink 
until i throw it all up
(lock me up)
want you to squeeze until i'm leaking out blood
i wanna see just how it feels to go numb
i wanna feel it on the tip of my tongue
let's fuck it up until we're going out bad 
let's break it all apart until there's nothing fucking left
cause i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 
and i want you to tell me i'm a waste of fucking breath
oh i'm terrible 
i'm the reason you're falling 
unbearable 
i'm the bones in your closet
i still just wanna see you get out 
there's nothing left for me to be now

damn it all 
pray for what 
there's nobody there
(i'm too far gone)
tell me why 
i wanted you then 
i want you now

heylog:
i'm chillin at a party, why'd i decide to go out
wish i just stayed home but i been stuck inside my house
i don't even care, i'd much rather be sober
she hung around the bottles and i could tell it broke her
i'm glad i can't relate cause i've never had that problem
you told me i'm rude for that but hey, i'm being honest
i would never lie to you, just want you to stop it
i could up and go, i've got plenty of options
quit talking, ur just holding me back
it's safe to say, tonight ur getting trashed
take a second to breathe, ik ur sad
you don't have to drink it away, could you relax
she phones her girls for a ride at 3am
can't even walk to her room, she needs a hand
throwing up all the time, she's used to it
friday night rolls around and repeat it

tip of my tongue (w/ heylog) (prod. eric godlow)

prod. ocin
guitars: yhello

Come catch a feeling while we’re watching a lightning 
But nothing excites me, baby I try to hide it 
I think about you, let’s make love on the highway 
Can we get inside babe 
You know time won’t stop flying 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
We keep laughing it off, ya 

Kill time when we're driving 
It's both of us finding 
A reason to separate 
Your past is behind me 
I don't open up 
Don't wanna be judged 
Don't wanna be looked at 
I blame my gut 

I love you and you know that 
Even if you don't love me back 
I pray at night to hope you're well 
And pray again for my own self 
If I had a wish and that would be to see you laugh 
Cause I guarantee that you'll receive a smile back 
Now we both sitting there just laughing it off 
I want you to know that you were all I got 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh

laugh it off (ft. heylog)

produced by xona

@heylog

-lyrics-
deep within my own skin
i stay low until my breath
runs out and i hold my neck
cause deep down i need to rest
the only thing i need is you
a little late, i ain’t got to lose
anything to get us through
but I’ll stay like back then too

well, it’s awful to think
you’re on my mind and can’t let it deplete
sit in my room then write the lyrics to sing
but I’m discarding this energy to bring back the old me
its a tragic that i let it go
i couldn’t tell if you need me close 
well it’s too late for that now
so i can’t keep you around 
don’t need to make another sound

baby i know you love it when you see me overthink
got me pushing buttons tryna get this thing to play
never thought a girl would challenge me to use my brain
think outside the box using my logic against her game

i know you love it when you see me overthink
baby please
tell me what it means
these other guys try to steal you from me
they're enemies
break em to their knees
cut the rope
let the river flow
one at a time
kill em, let em know
baby go
get inside the boat
it's business for me to kill all them very slow

hazel

hazel w/ heylog

produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
we went through a lot of ups and downs
yet you still stayed close to my side
we often dug straight to the ground
you don't know what i look like now
just a number in my phone
i'll love you the most
march is a horrible month
why's it always cold
spent the end to cry
i miss you every night
don't call me when you see this
i'll hit decline
i don't look the same
as i used to
is this a bad thing
log, i don't know you
i don't look the same
like before
and i don't recognize myself
anymore

2 weeks 'till i go home
can't wait to see you, oh
october is when you go
now things are coming to
an end

she'll only love me if i just love myself
but baby with you i felt things i don't feel
i couldn't imagine to feel someone else
the thought of it always gets me overwhelmed
i hate separating from people i love
but i go forever without anyone
i will go for days and not say any words
you won't hear from me cause i sit back and lurk
closing the drapes to block out any light
the things that i do i would never advise
it's so bad for me and hm, i wonder why
growing more acne and i'm not surprised
don't look at me, please don't look at my face
the way that you stare makes me humiliate
i swear i get uglier
i don't look the same
you won't recognize me by how much i've changed
changed

update failed

produced by: @tnvr555
vocals and lyrics by: me and @heylog

lyrics:
just a sec, i needa bit to catch my breath
i try to hold onto what's left
but it seems that you're leaving again
and i saw your face
you're laughing at the back of the room
you're with someone and i can assume that
you have moved on, so soon
(you have moved on, so soon)

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think i've fallen in too deep

summer's coming round the corner, i can't wait to be warm
the uv's high so we lay some blankets out on the porch
and do you remember what you said to me
our past is something hard to believe
don't go
cause i don't want anybody else
oh no
i really don't want anybody now
i'm edging toward the ground
but that's what happens all the time as soon as life goes on
to you i'm not important
and i hope i'm wrong
without you it's harder to breathe
cause you're not laying next to me

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
(not laying next to me)
and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think I've fallen in too deep

hope every1 has a good day/night xx

jealousy w/ heylog (tnvr)

@heylog @oc 

// geist
say you’ll change
words are worthless
baby you’re a fake
and i’m not for it
snakes stay in the lake
so go join them
don’t talk to me
i’m not your friend
darling

can’t stand to hate myself
need to fix my health
so i put the bottle down
and hit the gym instead
you gave it all for wealth
how do you face yourself?
you’re so caught up in your media
it’s so unwell

i don’t want to see your face
i swear show up and you will die.
put that bitch back in her place
can’t tell her ego from her pride
love to talk about your problems
but your life is such a lie
you’re not fooling anybody
swear to god i meant goodbye

// heylog
i was not afraid to tell her that she was being delusional
cause all her little friends just encourage her to be a hoe
well it's not hard to find someone who isn't modest
and with that i feel my brain slowly rotting
don't know why you gotta constantly talk over me
i used to let that go, now i say shut up when i speak
it's like you never have respect for anything i say
you try to lead me on, i can't be weak
i can't be weak

weak w/ heylog [oc]

hi :)
prod. me

lyrics:
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

empty, lately i been empty
drugs been lookin so tempting, but ill hang on
hang on tight just for you

she wanna talk, but she heating up.. why you wanna talk when you need help?
i think i know a fake when i see one, and i think im gonna break if you be one
u can find me at my place barely breathin
i was always less needed
than them and i can see it
u can try and call it wont reach me

i dont really talk, but you kno that im like that
you know when it comes to me i dont fight back
read into everything you say, your words never lost with me

i know it gets so hard,
but life is separating us
so i wanna hear you
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

i remember that look on your face, its so distrusted
i know, you didn't want this
but we found our love
right on pavement i found
u stomped ur feet on the ground
im sorry

say you won't forget me

prod by me :) <3

lyrics -
ur telling me to hold on
i don't really think u see the best in me
'cos i know
if u really want it you'd make it work
oh i can see the end of us
can't believe that the wall was breached
god i don't wanna go
but you've been pushing me out for a while now
oh no

i hide my face when she laughing at it
cant lie, i dont care, cause shes going nowhere
told ur boy if he wanna back it, come out on the street but hes going somewhere
she getting cold now
pulled out, undercover when she come round
whole streets on the floor, what she know now
tears ready on the floor when she go out

breaking loads of bottles again
got a problem when you talk on ya friends
you want to tell me how she loves me
take you to dance
say you want to trust me I can’t relax
taking all you pour out
i don’t want the door down
7 milli foreign with the Roley got me iced out
in my dreams you know I’m having it
i can barely breathe when all these problems keep on happening

my nose red, blood is pouring out fast
i sit down, think i need to relax
she start her month say, "let's go to the bath"
she look at me when i cause her to gag
after i'm done i gotta leave ur house
cus i don't got time for any cuddles now
a kiss goodbye but she pulls me down
she told me she wanna go another round

couldn’t get enough, ignore the other side
I’ll tell it from the front
you speak about love, that’s never been us
these doors stayed shut
keep your facade
laid out-
knowing it was dormant
a few years and I’m back to this torment
is it really that important?
you know it better than me
you couldn’t let it at peace
this whole story was about me
I’ve got you right on your knees
the only thing that I need
is to make you forget at least…

the end of us (feat. hiraeth, erxn, heylog & xona)

prod by me
enjoy<3

lyrics:
i wish i weren't so kind to people i dont know
they step all over me got dirt all on my throat
and as the time flies by i think that i might choke
this rope it follows me, it follows far from home
these bones have yet to see the depth of all these trees
this forest i will go, its right beside the creek
ill meet you here again when time passes you by
ill wait for you instead of passing on my life

as i walked thru the green of the spruce i heard your laughter
please tell me to stop im afraid of the after
every time i talk it just feels like it don't matter
every time i walk i feel my bones slowly fracture
why does everybody use me then just push me aside?
babe is there a reason you cant look in my eyes?
i cant talk to anybody, not even my closest
so i had to ask myself why do i even try?

if only you would focus 
(it gets hard)
then you could see what matters most
its not that hard to notice that you've been talking to a ghost

im losing my damn mind man everyone just acts the same
you cant tell me how to feel, please dont tell me its okay
you ain my friend you ain my bro so i don't care bout what you say
i do this shit all by myself while you sit back and waste the day
my throat is getting tight, it's so hard for me to speak
these woods are dark till dawn, so how could i even see
in the morning when you come looking for me don't be surprised if you find my body hanging by the creek

by the creek

Stream "know a thing" by @heylog (prod. @irby314)
https://streamlink.to/knowathing-heylog

Lyrics:
i don't wanna heal myself again
no, i don't need to miss you like i did
promised recently i'd hit decline
but i couldn't do it this one time

i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
feel anything or understand
i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
do i even give a damn
do i even give a damn

every night i wake up in a sweat
every single word you ever said
come together without feeling harm
quickly run to you with open arms

can't believe i'm doing this again
it's been so long so like, how you been?
they don't even know a thing or two
they know more about me than 'bout you

i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand

do i even give a damn
do i even give a damn

heylog - know a thing (irby)

☆ I make music :0

☆ if u wanna use me as a cover lmk only have my number so keep that in mind

☆ 16 yo

☆ I'm cool i swear I am 

ruined w/xona

sleepwater

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