guitar by @pekarot

feel the shakes in my body 
and i wish you'd call me
my friends say they're sorry 
as my eyes leak out softly
don't worry at all 
i'll wait for a message 
a paper in a bottle 
a pill that's hard to swallow 

you're getting really good at that part
the one where you hurt me 
the one where you're leaving
all i ever had was my heart
and now it's in pieces
and now i'm not breathing 

and all there is left is some memories of us
picturing a gun
taking my blood
and there is is left is this pain that weighs a ton
filling up my lungs
destroying my guts

all i ever had was my heart

amv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LT7FyConbo
thank you all for the amazing support just in general.
love you all. take care
featuring my extremely talented friend @sleepywater 💙
prod. @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~
[autumn]
you ok?..

so i tell myself
don't die on me
don't lie to me

i lie here, ask how i'm doing
words out my mouth 
is it trash that i'm spewing?
i deserve hell for every wrongdoing
you sewed up my heart
just after i skewed it

hate when anybody talk to me
there's not a lot to me
i'm just distraught and weak
there's so much to do in the day (day)
what do i have to do to make you stay (stay)

how does this world expect me to keep going
when all that i have are depleting emotions
and all that i am is pathetic and hopeless
and all that i ask, and all that i ask is to leave

i'm begging please
i'm falling down
whenever you leave
don't make a sound
don't even breathe
i finished counting all my steps
a cliff they lead

[sleepwater]
i'll be ready, drowning
heart beat too fast; anxiety
in my hollow frame
lost cause, puppet brain

spewing my heart 
over a fire; got dark
will you be my ember 
stuck in a cauldron
do you remember when i was holding
your achy arms i was all upon it
you got my clothes but 
you could of stopped it
sorry for the vacancy i wish i locked
it was a fucking job to you 
i wish i stopped it

[autumn]
lawless; aching doesn't stop
isn't this what i wanted from you
i'm so awful

[sleepwater]
don't make a sound, don't make a scene
filling my lungs with nicotine 
oh damn ur the one that i'll ever need
damn ur the one that just let me be

[autumn]
(let me be)
don't really know why you like me
are you just starving
for someone's pysche?
i can hear the hounds
yeah they're howling in the darkness
wonder what they found
either molly or a carcass

[sleepwater]
im prowling in the twilight
everything you say now its a delight
maybe ur an angel in disguise 
fucking up my psyche, cutting all my ties

[autumn]
i cannot talk for long
there's somewhere i gotta be
the green of the forest it calls
yeah i got a date with the-
i got a date with the trees

tell me who i am
and who i'm supposed to be
won't be here for long
bitemarks made with teeth
the frostwalker it crawls
arriving at your feet
let it rest beneath...

puppet brain w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

follow heylog

@heylog

support heylog - spotify - https://open.spotify.com/artist/5Jf6pl4SGgueZHZ4pC313c?si=4gRVQC47SBql7WYQ8JUpeA

lyrics - 

give the kinda love that i need right back
kinda on the fence but i'll take my chance
tired of the mistakes making me sad
can't get the thought of you outta my head

where do i go?
who can i trust to leave me alone
put on a show then go home
dying to know
i hate and i loathe
written in stone the words saying
'love you'

i'm missing all the memories
i can feel your soul slowly making less of me
safe to say it hurt to watch you leave
now there's no one left to help me here

you're feeling alone on a friday evening
try to hold on love i'm trying to see you
i know you're hurting, you stumble bleeding
i'll keep you whole
you're scared 
you can hold my hand
we'll walk alone, no light to guide
but i know where your heart is
and i know how you're feeling now

let go don't cry just

you're sick to death of me
you hoped i feel the same but it's
just too much to leave here
i'm dealing with the shame of it
thinking that you loved me
i cry and medicate
it's just too much to intake
i'll try my fucking best i
didn't wanna calm down
i'm tryna come to terms with it
molded my emotion
to feel like you're controlling it
so what's it gonna take right now?
gotta keep my feet on the ground

now that love has washed away
contemplating life and i’m sure you can relate
and i’ve seen better days
recently been bitter what’s the point if i ain’t gonna make it in life
i’m always stuck by your side
and can you do me the same
and stay close to mine

don’t leave now i still haven’t kissed you
when you walk out my house i already miss you
let’s snuggle here in the back of my car
our eyes meet the galaxy, we’re counting the stars
my dad says i need to be home before eleven
but she does not want me leave, “logan stay a second” 
a couple hours isn’t very long to spend that time with you
and i finally got the gut to lean in and kiss you

mistake w/heylog

i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 

w/ @heylog

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/ezraspandora 

looking back baby,
i already was hollow
toss it back 
way too fast 
till i get through the bottle
i don't wanna leave this club
i just wanna drink 
until i throw it all up
(lock me up)
want you to squeeze until i'm leaking out blood
i wanna see just how it feels to go numb
i wanna feel it on the tip of my tongue
let's fuck it up until we're going out bad 
let's break it all apart until there's nothing fucking left
cause i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 
and i want you to tell me i'm a waste of fucking breath
oh i'm terrible 
i'm the reason you're falling 
unbearable 
i'm the bones in your closet
i still just wanna see you get out 
there's nothing left for me to be now

damn it all 
pray for what 
there's nobody there
(i'm too far gone)
tell me why 
i wanted you then 
i want you now

heylog:
i'm chillin at a party, why'd i decide to go out
wish i just stayed home but i been stuck inside my house
i don't even care, i'd much rather be sober
she hung around the bottles and i could tell it broke her
i'm glad i can't relate cause i've never had that problem
you told me i'm rude for that but hey, i'm being honest
i would never lie to you, just want you to stop it
i could up and go, i've got plenty of options
quit talking, ur just holding me back
it's safe to say, tonight ur getting trashed
take a second to breathe, ik ur sad
you don't have to drink it away, could you relax
she phones her girls for a ride at 3am
can't even walk to her room, she needs a hand
throwing up all the time, she's used to it
friday night rolls around and repeat it

tip of my tongue (w/ heylog) (prod. eric godlow)

I hope u love it, enjoy <3

prod. me
https://soundcloud.com/nihil2free on guitar
collab with https://soundcloud.com/bitekivibes
shoutout to both of them for real


lyrics:
i've been trying to fight off this gravity
can't have shit in this life its fucking comedy
seems to be i worked up on my honestly 
were still stressed, nothings left, somethings gotta be up
tell me that you don't give a fuck
i said, "okay see you in bit" 
crushed my hand with a mallet
ditch all my attachments and bring the fucking damage

keeping me up on a late night 
in deep, no sleep in my damn eyes 
you said you missed me i said, "damn right"
can't rest i'm stressed till the daylight

i could use a little bit of closure
fucking up my mental i've been distant and colder
they're so judgemental it sucks my composure
all i have left is what i should have told her

break me down to see myself
i've lost my mind
don't need your help.

now i get it
synthetic how they act around me tryna be my friends its pathetic.
i keep waking up to panic 
suppression locked in, i cant stop it.

gravity.deprived

spotify

prod. me
(capsctrl on acoustic guitar)
<3

lyrics:
what was it like to fall in love with me?
asleep in the morning, awake in the night
i'll take it all, i'll face it all, im in deep.
no saving me now.

cry more
days spent stumbling onto who i am, what i want
lace up, run far
running into what i am, fuck who i was

take your time, take your time
save your breath
its all a lie, all a lie, its a test
waking up, waking up all over again
waste of lungs, wasted lungs i am.

if youd listened to me who knows what we could be
(stop it now its dark in here)
so tied up on things that we didnt even mean
(stop it now i've had enough)
said you know me the best but you dont know me at all
i was depressed and didnt bother to call out to you
so much changed so fast but im right here
please dont give up

what is it like to fall out of love with me?
i feel so annoyed and, i dont know why
i took it all, i faced it all, i was in deep
dont start from the beginning just end it

cry more
days spent stumbling onto who i am, what i want
lace up, run far
running into what i am, fuck who i was

who i was

prod. ocin
guitars: yhello

Come catch a feeling while we’re watching a lightning 
But nothing excites me, baby I try to hide it 
I think about you, let’s make love on the highway 
Can we get inside babe 
You know time won’t stop flying 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
We keep laughing it off, ya 

Kill time when we're driving 
It's both of us finding 
A reason to separate 
Your past is behind me 
I don't open up 
Don't wanna be judged 
Don't wanna be looked at 
I blame my gut 

I love you and you know that 
Even if you don't love me back 
I pray at night to hope you're well 
And pray again for my own self 
If I had a wish and that would be to see you laugh 
Cause I guarantee that you'll receive a smile back 
Now we both sitting there just laughing it off 
I want you to know that you were all I got 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh

laugh it off (ft. heylog)

hi :)
prod. me

lyrics:
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

empty, lately i been empty
drugs been lookin so tempting, but ill hang on
hang on tight just for you

she wanna talk, but she heating up.. why you wanna talk when you need help?
i think i know a fake when i see one, and i think im gonna break if you be one
u can find me at my place barely breathin
i was always less needed
than them and i can see it
u can try and call it wont reach me

i dont really talk, but you kno that im like that
you know when it comes to me i dont fight back
read into everything you say, your words never lost with me

i know it gets so hard,
but life is separating us
so i wanna hear you
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

i remember that look on your face, its so distrusted
i know, you didn't want this
but we found our love
right on pavement i found
u stomped ur feet on the ground
im sorry

say you won't forget me

prod: never forever 
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

put aside my emotion
i wasn't important 
he touched someone else
that night my body was forfeit
i like it when he record it 
watch it back and feel gorgeous 
i think i need help 
but i'm so good at ignoring,
ignoring it 

ima pour this bottle all out
till i feel my life breaking down 
and i hate myself even now 
don't know what that's all about
and i hate my songs 
won't show my face 
took a couple steps back 
went m.i.a
insane 
didn't learn my lesson 
nothing ever mattered when i try my best and
most days i just feel like a reject 
friends fake n then ask for my preset
hands up, 
asked god for a reason 
blood soaked and i beg for the meaning
most days wake up and i'm screaming 
and my body just shake like im fiending
painful, i remember the feeling 
stitch myself cause i dream i'm in pieces

say you won't forget me

kais

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