prod by xona(: 

-lyrics-
I still wonder if you watch me 
i sit alone and hoping things that could’ve have helped me 
and I know these things won’t change 
and you don’t care and I’m in my last day

and everything I do it’s so violent! 
everything you do is...
everything I do is- violent! 
but I still love you even if you make me cry..
cause I don’t care at all like why..?
should I try to hide from your eyes?
cause I don’t want no one besides.

(no one, no one oh...
no one, no one---)

everything you do is
everything I-

violent

spotify

prod xona <3

@heylog

-lyrics-
oh I might try
to end myself and neglect my health and I don’t need one more-
reason to live, I don’t need a friend
I could care less :/
for her help and I don’t need no pills to keep me held
but I’ve tried 2much,  2much right now..
but I can lie and that’s alright (:
but all my friends
push me on edge
and they do not sense
on why I feel dead..
oh I might try
to end myself and neglect my health and I don’t need one more-
reason to live!
I don’t need a friend
I could care less :/
for her help and I don’t need no pills to keep me held

oh i might cry :,(
when this blade touches my skin
i don't need remorse
for all the sins that i commit
i don't need a friend
to tell me what i'm doing wrong
you think i don't know this
i could tell you the exact same thing
you better watch your back
i see the folks you call your friends will try hurt you
don't be surprised when it happens
cause i was surprised when it happened 
hating on myself
makes the 2 of us
no i don't need help
or any pill
the story of my life
i gotta chill
feel like pennywise
giving me a thrill

care w/ heylog♡

produced by xona 

@heylog

-lyrics-
I wanna run but I can’t deny
feelin dread to our trust and I cry
and I would get everything for you
she loves him but I’m just that fool
I wanted us back, you didn’t want that
I’m pleading with this pain I held
and now I fall back
all on my prozac’s
and I just hope that I get your help

and now I’m washed up all alone
the little essence that you left long ago
the flowers wilt down to my floor
push me down like I’m nothing more

and I don’t wish the best for you
you wanted healing but I was see through
you wanted blood, now you got it on view
many voices telling me on what I knew
there’s reflections that portray all of us 
you’re sick of me and the things that I love 
I won’t forget what it meant for us
these 6 letters that stuck like a drug

stab me again i won't feel a thing
hold me down this some sentencing
taking my bliss, more apologies
i don't like this, just don't talk to me
wasting away i'm never calling you back
i'm stuck with memories i won't forget
with all this weight i carry on my back
you did this to me and i will never forgive

you
oh
i hate 
you
with
every little gut in my body

WALKING UP TO HEAVEN I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M HERE
BUT WHY AM I STILL RUNNING FROM THIS NEVER ENDING FEAR
I'M SHIFTING THROUGH LANES WHILE UR STILL STUCK IN 2ND GEAR
SURPRISING EVERYONE LIKE 2 HEADLIGHTS ON A DEER
WASTING AWAY I'M NEVER CALLING YOU BACK
I'M STUCK WITH MEMORIES I WON'T FORGET
(forget)
WITH ALL THIS WEIGHT I CARRY ON MY BACK 
YOU DID THIS TO ME AND I HATE YOU FOR THAT

you
oh
i hate you
with
every little gut in my body

i wont forget

i won't forget w/ heylog

prod by xona<3 this beat sucks im sorry(,:

thank you to all the ppl that help me make this ily (all in order)
@reesoo
@heylog
@hovis
@moodyriley
@quannnic
-comet
@1vil
@uglysneaker
@valerii

avoid

avoid w/ reesoo, heylog, hovis, moodyriley, comet, vil, uglysneaker & valerii

sample: keshi - less of you
everything else prod by xona

-lyrics-
hey I wonder how you’ve been?
do you know where I’ve been ever since?
you speak about me with no end
deja vu from where I sit
sun shines down to my skin
It’s been a while that I felt like this
and we could call but it wouldn’t mean less
It’s three times that I given that chance

“and I don’t want my friends to know 
that I just fell in love”
It gets worse
she cuts me up
I feel this hatred grow
you tend break my heart so quick
I know you want me out your head
and I was stuck to all your threads
another night with the walls, I’m sick

oh~
yeah (x3)
i tried
and I was stuck to your threads all night
I just want you out my life
i know it shows when i talk like this
only way that I turn your head
you told me love ain’t what it is
then tell me what? that I’ll end up dead?

hey I wonder how you’ve been?
It’s 3 years and I can’t forget
I don’t know where I’ve been
I’ll reset
mi amor, how you been my threat?
so the rains hits down my face
I don’t care
I don’t wanna change
you think you were passive calling my name
but we talk and it doesn’t feel the same

“and I don’t want my friends to know 
that I just fell in love”
It gets worse 
she cuts me up
I feel this hatred grow
you tend break my heart so quick
I know you want me out your head
and I was stuck to all your threads
another night with the walls, I’m sick

naive

feat & prod by @quannnic

-lyrics-

and they bring me back
and it’s the worst of me (x2)
I would take it back
that I left my dreams (x2)
why’d you break my heart?
left in the dark, caught me off guard
so I try and I try my best 
to look good from the rest 

I don’t think I ever have to try
being here for me, do you think I’d hear a lie?
I’m suddenly the bad guy…
where I’ve missed my chance
don’t hold my hand 
so we cry, regrets
when I feel this way
I can’t feel okay
and I feel so lost
when I talk to her nothing feels off
you're the only one, you’re only one I’d fall
for us I’ll do it again and again, again 
cause I won’t forget 

got to remind you
when i decide to 
i always fuck up
cuz im never enough
and that body i saw
was it never alive
just seeing signs
was it all just a lie
one sided dice
continuous fights
all from one side
for the rest of your life
roll it again and again and again
cannot get out and it will never end

so we cry, regrets
when I feel this way
I can’t feel okay
and I feel so lost
when I talk to her nothing feels off
you’re the only one, you’re only one I’d fall
for us I’ll do it again and again, again 
cause I won’t forget

idle

produced by xona ♡

-lyrics-
things that I do, you’ll place my on traits 
were you wrong too or was I the change?
will of my truth or am I testing fate?
nothing but clues it’s just twisting my brain
all of my friends that just spit on face
drag me in mud while they whisper I’m safe
these spiders that crawl through my walls still decay
and off of the things that you could’ve have said

so I crash
and it’s a rush to my veins I can’t deny
I’m blacking out but these images arise
smoke screen, I can’t see what you hide
Im nothing over you, why’d I have to lie?
yeah yeah
I’LL CRY AND END MY LIFE
It’s all blur that I can’t pass by
and so these spiders that stay and reside
they stay and watch till the day I die

yeah, uh, maybe if I told you what I like
I’ll set aside all the pills, I can’t suffice 
and all the words that you say is kinda right
I’m ‘nothing worth’ I can feel it through their eyes
and I’ve been losing my head
I feel the stress
I can’t body anymore, there’s someone I regret 
she marked me till I’m red
flowers that we carry
right into our bed
we’re fixing all amends

~there is spiders crawling in my room~

so I crash
and it’s a rush to my veins I can’t deny
I’m blacking out but these images arise
smoke screen, I can’t see what you hide
Im nothing over you, why’d I have to lie?
yeah yeah
I’LL CRY AND END MY LIFE
It’s all blur that I can’t pass by
and so these spiders that stay and reside
they stay and watch till the day I die

yeah 
I’ve carved my life in two
other days that I flow flawed through
all the spiders that crawl in my room
takes toll and it kills my mood

everything falls apart
everything falls apart…
and I don’t know what to do
but go back to the start.

I got
SPIDERS 
CRAWLING ON MY SKIN (x2) ~

I’LL CRY AND END MY LIFE
ITS ALL A BLUR THAT I CANT PASS BY
AND SO THESE SPIDERS THAT STAY AND RESIDE
THEY STAY AND WATCH TILL THE DAY THAT I 
die…

spiders

produced by xona

//ep

-lyrics-
and I’ll stay inside 
where I reside 
I’ll stay and watch the night
until i die

why do we fight?
mirror what we like?
take my holy life
I’m sorry to say it’s fine..

~

I got sick of everybody who speaks
to me you’re nothing, I can’t even get a week
to be alone with someone that I wanna see
and these crevices you placed cause you know I was weak
so push back.
and I’ve been personal
so let it go
I feel like..
you don’t even have to know me
that I don’t want you to hold me

~

~I’ll cry and end... 
my life.
stay and watch when I die~

I’ll quit 
to forget that I exist
but these spiders are my only friends
are my only 
friends…

spiders II

produced by xona

-lyrics-
im worried on what i do 
battleground where i fought for you
betting steps on my life, I’m tuned
to the harmonies that ensued

new year, who’s me.. huh?
nothing’s different, knowing me… no-
you’d pull the trigger in front of me, god
within these trenches where we meet “love”

~

you would KILL ME in a sec lose track of your senses
deep end- WITHIN MY ROOTS
you would LEAVE ME IN A SEC UNDER PRETENSES
you’re so NERVOUS UNDER THIS PRESSURE

feeling awful to my stomach (oh)
you make me sad and you love it (oh you love)
i suppose i feel off it (so off)
but it’s the same since of august

mm oh i don’t want you now
we don’t even click and that’s something profound 
Ill keep my mouth shut, no attempt to make a sound-
but i can’t keep still when you’re killing me around

~

you know when you talk to me
we can’t be tight or we fall by piece
and ember’s all through my chest
it’s the weight of me that kills the rest-

god..

velvet

produced by xona

- lyrics -
and my body 
feels light and I can’t go with you
and my skin falls off, it’s so cruel
but I’ll hang till you kill me this day
I won’t chase when you think I’m this way 

your spit 
(your words)
your spit
(got me)
oh~ voiceless 
(haunted)
voiceless

go

talk like you’re drugged, fucked up from all 
your wrongs but point to one’s you love
but if I die today, would you sing my way?
but do you feel that change? cause I feel betrayed 

the war begun and I’d entrust
many lives with my love

~

and my body 
feels light and I can’t go with you
and my skin falls off, it’s so cruel
but I’ll hang till you kill me this day
I won’t chase when you think I’m this way

spit

produced by xona <3

[impersonation, to belong, panorama]

-lyrics-

I wouldn’t like me too
my aspirations for you
oh no, oh no, oh no
oh I couldn’t be you…

oh I couldn’t be you, oh I couldn’t be you
oh I couldn’t be you, oh I couldn’t be you (2x)

~

do you see the silhouettes?
as they carve your head
no phantom, no puede ser 
no, oh my god
hold on 
I’m trying to help but you seem lost 

it’s a beauty that you take in
but I’m so reckless Ima break it 
yeah 
fall down, I embrace this
as everything looks painted 

~

"I feel so sick when you test my patience."
okay but I’ve been desolated, wonder why you’d take it?
the time I’m weak, I’ll let it leak
for more I’d tear through all your means
for me, it’s for me 


oh I couldn’t be you, oh I couldn’t be you
oh I couldn’t be you, oh I couldn’t be you (x2)

epigone

produced by xona

[loss, relationship]

speak lightly
I won’t seem that worried about you and me
down few
many lose lives quick, nothing’s new 
hiding right behind you 
you’ll choose, you’ll choose

from what I wear
to see and stare
I swear I swear
you’ll have my care

fuck,
how are you here with me?
I told you I’m scared of-
graphic and the terror to seize
It’s more than it could seem
It’s more than wear and tear
and I could hardly bear
and I could hardly bear
I could hardly bear
I could hardly-

from what I wear
to see and stare
I swear I swear
you’ll have my care

wear

produced by xona 

[???]

-lyrics-
I might act like you but I’ve been knowing my own limits
I can’t help myself when you treat me like I was different
oh my god, I swear I’m falling all apart and it won’t stop
it’s like September and it doesn’t seem to rot-

like you..

I might stab myself or two
don’t walk within these hilly dunes
I’ll fall right here and shoot through you
“stay by side”
I’m not your other guy
this isn’t choice I just know that I’ve been airtight 

I’ve been so upset, ember through my chest
where did all your friends go(?) coalesce
I might need a grip to pull me into this 
drugs are different, they walk into a depth
ay, yeah
caught within my skin 8 leg to my sight 
I’ll tell my truth and leave you hanging so you won’t cry- don’t try
ain’t one, ain’t by your side
so so, out of line? enduring all the fights

~

my life is hurting for a way to pause
I’ll hang around and let it go on
yeah, yeah
I can’t choose on what I’m on
I tend to change and I’m worried that-

talk down oh my oh my-
it’s on me to make it out alive 
more found within my skin
8 eyes, 8 legs
they left off from my head

the coldest winter seemed so innocent, swim through the rivers and reach my instrument
I threw my life on the line for a threat.
I’m so depressed, I’m at fault for this shit
I wanna run but I can’t deny
feelin’ dread to our trust and I cry
and I can’t find a source why oh I, hate my life I don’t need an-

spiders III

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

produced by xona

short song <3

-lyrics-
ill walk it back home and leave your love roam
your bitter tongue holds to find another one

home
(make it)
home

im not here for you no-uh cause im just tired of what you've done
you could call up all on my fuss but i'd ignore all of your calls
uh, yeah and im a side for you and you know that too
home is where i knew where im safe from the truth

ill walk it back home and leave your love roam
your bitter tongue holds to find another one

home
(make it)
home

home.

produced by xona
end guitar by @prod-oc

@sleepywater

-lyrics-
have you been alright?
cause it feels like that’s no more…
i see red a lot 
I’m afraid if that’s my form
i know you care a lot
but I’m different down the core
do you know the cost?
of what you push behind the doors
but have you been alright?
cause it f*cks with my mind too
when I walk this light
i don’t see, i don’t wanna go through 
i won’t find my type 
and you know that’s been the truth
would you hold my side
so I know that I’m not screwed

~


i can’t take more than you expect me to
take everything away from me cause I just know 
that you’ll leave me
that you’ll leave me
that you’ll leave me
that you’ll leave me
that you’ll leave me.

~

(i swear, i swear)

running round my head
do not get close to me yet
hanging on by a thread
well you chose the end
i just want a friend
i just want you
you chose the end
i hate you
her eyes light up my life
saw you i couldn’t think right
her hair covers my sight
her face has ruined mine
dont change just stay alive
dont say im on your mind
too late when we had time
all i can say is you were mine

𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦

I’d f*ck up to put aside
I can’t take that pain to rid my mind of you
I can’t take it, I can’t take
I’d fall in love again
flying in to close by death
nothing but red reflex 
decide my only friends..
one thousand miles away
we stand before that day
you drive this place to escape and
I’m losing self in me
I’ve counted these hours on end
staring at walls to pretend
that I’m feeling fine again
that I’m feeling fine again

red reflex

reflex w/ sleepwater

produced by xona 

-lyrics-

𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺

you should expect less 
i don't even wanna talk about it
where i don't even dress up
its getting worse and im feeling empty
can you save me one last time?
i thought love was the issue
but it's worse than that
im just stuck within the past

how am i not happy no more?
i'm so tired i can't walk out the door
i tell her why i'm feeling these things
but therapy was never part of me
i could end it all
but i hate thinking only of that
now the days feel long again
i write songs to forget all of this

so you should expect less 
i don't even wanna talk about it
where i don't even dress up
its getting worse and im feeling empty
can you save me one last time?
i thought love was the issue
but it's worse than that
im just stuck within the past

fragile

produced by xona

@heylog

-lyrics-
deep within my own skin
i stay low until my breath
runs out and i hold my neck
cause deep down i need to rest
the only thing i need is you
a little late, i ain’t got to lose
anything to get us through
but I’ll stay like back then too

well, it’s awful to think
you’re on my mind and can’t let it deplete
sit in my room then write the lyrics to sing
but I’m discarding this energy to bring back the old me
its a tragic that i let it go
i couldn’t tell if you need me close 
well it’s too late for that now
so i can’t keep you around 
don’t need to make another sound

baby i know you love it when you see me overthink
got me pushing buttons tryna get this thing to play
never thought a girl would challenge me to use my brain
think outside the box using my logic against her game

i know you love it when you see me overthink
baby please
tell me what it means
these other guys try to steal you from me
they're enemies
break em to their knees
cut the rope
let the river flow
one at a time
kill em, let em know
baby go
get inside the boat
it's business for me to kill all them very slow

hazel

hazel w/ heylog

produced xona
guitar by oc

@b_murph

-lyrics-
you swore to be the one i could trust
but things don’t end up that way
where i fall for you again 
i just wanted to see
whatever you wanted to bring
cause i’m happy when i’m with you
and you saw that in me and knew

you would tear it apart
so do you want to harm and ignore the start that connects my heart?
it doesn’t matter to you
i’m just blind to the truth
i guess it’s too much to handle
when alone in this room

so the harm is done
can’t open my arms
she watched me rot
and i gave it up

yeah, i put all my trust in you
guessing that was a mistake
and i cant get away from you 
you're just stuck in my head these days
tell me what you're going through
yeh, you know i'd be there for you
just don't tell me the truth
bout what you're bout to do
picture perfect when i look at your face
yeah, i can't seem to look away
no i can't look away from you

but could you just lie to me, lie to me, lie to me
'cause i don't want you to leave
no i don't want you to leave me
uh
so could you just stay with me, stay with me, stay with me
'cause i never wanna see you go
this is our home

i was over it
to bury within all the foliage
i couldn’t stop to think that i would catch no sleep holding-
so you brag and hold my hand
keep touch and make a path
to stay close without a past
so please don’t forget that

picture perfect

picture perfect w/ bmurph

produced by xona
piano by oc

cover by xona and heylog

@heylog
@sleepywater
@prod-oc

-lyrics-
yeah
want me back, want me back?
yeah, yeah

want me ‘back’ back?
i think you got wrong man
yeah
you need a 'hand’ hand?
i threw myself into the past
for you
so what you on with me?
we ain’t close so you can’t bother me
7k to reach so I don’t care if you needed me

~

i just wanted to say
that i hope you're doing okay
her skin is why i'm alive
i hope to feel it someday
getting on top of me
and giving the look, i see
her soul makes me resume life
and build up my legacy
her mind is taking a beating
so far it hasn't been easy
i could just tell from your arm
baby should i be alarmed
should i be scared when i hear about your past
i slowly wear, it's just hard to..
grasp

stop again
ill stop and glare
who am i now i don’t know him there
way i feel when im flowing w her
if i get on w u hold my hair
shut the fuck up ur someone i avoid
it wasnt worth it cos now im destroyed

want me ‘back’ back?
i think you got wrong man
yeah
you need a 'hand’ hand?
i threw myself into the past
for you
so what you on with me?
we ain’t close so you can’t bother me
7k to reach so I don’t care if you needed me

lend

lend w/ heylog & sleepwater

produced by grayskies & xona

-lyrics-
and i can’t take that pain
it’s getting me close to death
~ i can’t take
cause i haven’t felt that safe
got me running within my head
~ you feel safe?

and if only i could help
without you cause i hold the guilt
while I’m staying right by myself
and ignoring what you felt
when i could easily tell
the taste of wanting to kill

and i can’t take that pain
it’s getting me close to death
~ i can’t take
cause i haven’t felt that safe
got me running within my head
~ you feel safe?

how did you find me?
do you think i care?
do you think i care at all?
cause im not you
and you fell through
this line of faking truth
i felt that weak
when your hands are all on me, i knew
there’s nothing
i ever loved about you

and i can’t take that pain
it’s getting me close to death (close to death)
~ i can’t take
cause i haven’t felt that safe
got me running within my head
~ you feel safe?

and i'd forget your face
i dont wanna fall again
again
again~

bloom

produced by xona & @prod-oc

@hiraethsry

-lyrics-
i waited for a while and i don’t think you know
but it’s fine by me as long as you’re close

close (x3)

~

you could ride upon my side
i could choose to live or die
so who knows where i reside
look at me when you decide
yeah, it’s nothing to me go
when im walkin’ the valley below
where they take you fall alone 
so get me up before the cold

you’re keeping me up
and im tired of what you feel
so we gon’ move on
cause i’m sick of what’s real to you

you (x3)

i’ve had no sleep at all
don’t leave me alone 
so tired of fighting, with chainmail on
don’t tell me you’ll walk
cause I know you wont
stop getting involved no involvement at all

o o o o I can take a step back leave you all alone x 4

throw a right Hook
don’t look don’t look
i swear I’m righteous 
my fault my fault
i’m getting anxious 
and my love my love 
im not ahead of it
it’s my fault 
i don’t need no resentment 
talk to me
i don’t need your possession 
the whole worlds burning I don’t need your protection 
dumb bitch shoulda taught u a lesson 
a lesson ohhh

involve

involve w/ hiraeth

produced by xona | guitar by oc

@prod-oc

-lyrics-
i could barely see, you’ve been on mind and I’m drowning in the deep
end, where our love could have never came to meet, I’m reaching for the home that which you been on to me
me (x8)

yeah, i would’ve gone
if that’s what you want
yeah, tell me the wrongs
of what i could have i done?
yeah, im gettin so lost
yeah, i needed to hold on
yeah, grabbin my arm
mm, no i needed someone else
yeah yeah, there’s nothing better than to fall in
my hands go cold with the velvet
of your clothes I’m just waiting for the outlet
we stay so far, now that it’s been helpless
now that it’s been helpless (x4)

with the windows locked
I pray the safety of us
missing all of my friends
and every bridge that I’ve cut
hoping you understand that you still got all my love
got you all on my mind never losing that trust~
I can’t decide what I do
I’ve fallen right here where you started too
I am no different, just human like you
I just own up my own problems, no queues
something bout the days I couldn’t get it off
my body is getting weaker, I’m afraid that I will rot
maybe i don’t go outside enough or had a hug
i’m getting so much closer and closer to drugs

standing and hoping you decipher the words
the fear and the terror you left with a burn
I can’t fathom on what you want to me turn
it’s like this love is just made for a curse
I’ve had enough
back, back when I thought it was okay
I’m coping hard and I think I’m ‘bout to break
no, no tears rolling down my face
counting the days that I wish I could erase
-

bringing out the worst of me paralyzed by you
nothing seems to be like the honest truth
nothing like the honest truth
wonder by the end of time will i have to look
if you’re still right there and what it took
if i knew what it took

singing what’s deep in the lair i could take that step
I’m not really prepared but I’m feeling reckless
what you feel is the question..
seeing with the way you act, i fear an attack
even without a word i feel the tension
tearing up all my friendships..

i see the spiders crawling my walls
silhouettes of you i might drop
and i can’t stop…
i might fall (x8)

spiders IV

produced by xona

new insta since my last one got falsely terminated:
https://www.instagram.com/uvxona

-lyrics-
when you’re in my head
got your words into threads
“I don’t think you’ll ever find yourself”
now I feel like shit
still in my bed
where I am I just need your help
thinking what I’d done
my mind spirals a ton
it gets worse when I’m all alone
I got the blade of it all
I’m still holding your arms
whenever you wanna come and talk

time slips off my hands now
I can’t stand my own ground
got chains that hug me around
yet, you got me all the way down

down (x4)

chained to the bottom, got me under suffocating 
you put me on the side, nothing felt nothing changing
got too many things going on, too many faces
nothing i could switch, yet I’m always tryna chase it

whatever you said
I know it’s filled with some red
your voice is what I always miss
but why I do care?
you’ve been stalking for years
now that I made this myself
it was stupid at first
I knew the end of the verse
where we both knew we’d get hurt
it’s taking a truth
rip apart and then chewed 
I got nothing left for you…
 
for you (x4)

chained to the bottom, got me under suffocating 
you put me on the side, nothing felt nothing changing
got too many things going on, too many faces
nothing i could switch, yet I’m always tryna chase it

walls

produced by xona

@seenyona

-lyrics-
the only path that I run is getting worse than I’d want
got to you without a fuss and you didnt even care enough
to ask if I’m good or better than way before
hoping it’s a get back and less of hearts being torn 
I got too much hatred overtaking my entire heart
even on the side ive been looking for the way-

cause the way that I hide
makes it ever harder to come by
I can’t decide
whether I should cut the rope that ties
no, don’t I wanna live with myself
but I’d rather die then ask for your help
so how can you act on guilt
when you caused this to wilt

cant let down, someone youve never had
im pushing past all the static man
your words cut past my flesh, and im 
sure if they heard the vile words
they'd leave just like i did before causin quivering lips
who the fuck you think you are, constantly giving me lip? 
no matter how many times u post your body
it wont ever give the same attention that i give

cause the way that I hide
makes it ever harder to come by
I can’t decide
whether I should cut the rope that ties
no, don’t I wanna live with myself
but I’d rather die then ask for your help
so how can you act on guilt
when you caused this to wilt

locket

locket w/ yona

produced by xona
album soon...

-lyrics-
every morning I wait
no matter the face

still im here
though you don’t care 
though you don’t care at all
still im here
when out of air
when out of air but
you don’t even care to call
when it matters most, I’ll wait until it stops
right here
I just need the space, got me waiting for the long

(you hold control, I know you… I take care of this on my own
but i’m far from home so this don’t feel normal at all)

~

yeah, you got me to look, what's on your mind?
you seem shook, so look into my eyes
so look into my eyes
so look into my eyes

here

produced by xona
guitar by @prod-oc

-lyrics-
you got me alone locked in without sun
breathe in if it’s not home… a new place is to be found

yeah, yeah
I can never get enough of you..
I swear this shit be going on for way too long now
so i second guess myself and ignore my guilts down
i swear it goes down, i swear…
no, I swear it all goes down
the way it goes for me now
where it goes for me now, now

it all gets worse from here, I couldn’t mention my fear
captive, I’m nothing to cheer for; I live not to hurt others near

(hurting the ones that are near…
hurting the ones that are-)

~

yeah I’m by myself now, im by myself yeah
Im tryna make sense of it
yeah it’s nothing about it, I need new outlets
I don’t vent to forget
I know your motives you think you know it
the way it’s coated
no.
you make it all worse
sometimes it does hurt but I don’t seem to learn
-
where i could go on my own, she'd bind my hands down this road
hide at my home when odds are opposed, i could die here and no one would know.

home II

produced by xona

@chalyre
@hiraethsry

-lyrics-
don’t wait
I don’t mean to worry you so I get carried away
yeah, I never thought I was liked so I’m sorry if I hesitate 
I hope I don’t take the wrong side
promise to try unlike last time
I know how it goes on my mind
so don’t expect much on my fight

~

you just hate to see me fine
restricted by your feeble life
cant look (x2)

back ill detach everything
in tact you wreak havoc insane
im trash ill relapse on your name
dont panic dont panic again
was this the end i feared
now it seems so clear
cant run from this 
so stay my dear
im near
you’re all i fear

~

i can’t say that I’m not impressed
put a full clip through him right between his neck
and ur still laying there in bed
tryna pull the cases out of his chest
switched on my phone at like terrible timing 
4% left and I really don’t mind it 
just enough charge to see who really likes him
no one replies so I’m closing his eyelids

glow

glow w/ chalyre & hiraeth

produced by xona

-lyrics-
(don’t tether your issues when you feel alone
you're feeling so nauseous, you push it along)

I’m looking for the way it was when we hadn’t broke our trust
those memories echo, I didn’t want to let go
but everything reminds of you where I settle
oh I know
these things don’t matter, you mend without an issue at all
I’m searching new patterns the ones I forget everything we’ve done

(everything we’ve done)

even if you mean everything to me
I can’t breath at all
it’s too precious to leave
so I’d rather fall
so I’d rather fall

~

this road block gets obscure
uncertain if I’d get out of here, out of here
this month I thought I’d change my course
but I’m back in this roundabout with unopened
doors
you need to pick and choose, I know you’re scared to move
you think there’s nothing new?
but maybe, it’s just you
you tend to look at me but you’re unamused
so what’s the entry step? cause you need to prove
that you’re worth this shit, I know on my life that you see it too
you know you see it too, so please.
what do you have to lose?
don’t stay in this room
don’t stay in this room

(don’t stay in this room) x6

~

don’t tether your issues when you feel alone
you're feeling so nauseous, you push it along
this weight on your shoulder, won’t last that long
you know, you know, you know
so what are you going to do?
so what?
so what?
so what?

cascade

produced by xona

@grasior
@herskylin

-lyrics-
keep my head stat
there's poison in the water why my drawn back
i swim but my reflection keeps my brain dead
im stuck inside this mess that i cant crack
the fog is heavy i cant see straight
my buried soul is my down state
i see a ghost that i once knew
is nothing more than what ive gone through

gone through (x4)

most of the time I fake it, it's not really true when I show it
even when I'm at my lowest, I try my hardest on fakin'
don't want anyone knowin' that I hate myself more than I show it
and I can't blame no one but me tho, but the truth is hard to swallow
mi mama me dice que soy lindo y muy fuerte,
como le digo que yo busco mi propia muerte
a mi me dicen que sigue adelante
que yo hago si la herida es muy grande
yo ni se mi mismo no tengo una plan b
solo se que me siento como cobarde

cobarde, cobarde, sin plan b, sin plan b
cobarde, cobarde, sin plan b, sin plan b

keep me from coming back
I doubt when I peek past
deepen this hatred has
controlled my only hands
I took a toll when alone
placed in a structure course
lift up my weight in hopes
to fix in what I had loved
walk, walk, walk (I feed into the eyes)
I’m running out of luck, luck, luck (deceived by many lies)
I can’t seem to run, run, run
I’m losing sense of touch, touch, touch
oh, i've had enough

clover

clover w/ grasior & skylin

produced by xona

1/11

-lyrics-

stained walls, no faults
closed doors than love
so why do I run when I need her touch?

I’ll tell you the lies
the ones that you fear all inside
oh, the beautiful life
where I wouldn’t pay for the price
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you…

~ 

my time slips to phases, the way I plant facades
my life remains weightless, though I don’t get it all
my chest feels anguish, a ghost that you once loved
while no one listened, I’ll be here till dawn

but I’m scared of what I am
seeing you, I don’t want to be friends
i wish to talk, I wished your hand
would reach back without my chances
falling out, I’m stressing how
all things go south
I am all doubts, I am the blame
there’s no around, I’m not unscathed
I’ll never be found

I’ll tell you the lies
the ones that you fear all inside
oh, the beautiful life
where I wouldn’t pay for the price
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you
of losing you…

xona

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