of course benny gets dustin in his battle and casts him as a washing machine

"GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER HAS MORE NUTS THAN YOU" LMAOOO GEORGE GETTING BITCHED HARD

Unironic Rap Battles

Yep. Happy 5 year anniversary of TRBoCS. :D

Nice Peter as Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu
EpicLLOYD as The Boss Baby

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FUYUHIKO KUZURYU 
VS
THE BOSS BABY
BEGIN!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (0:16):
Name’s Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, bitch, I’m a fucking gangster
True yakuza, shoot right through ya, you’re in fucking danger
This shithead’s met a dead end
Now I’m taking you to school, call it TedEd
Ain’t here to change your Pampies, I’ll get to dropping bodies
‘Cause when it comes to nannies, I’m more like fuckin Maki
Your work ethic is just something I can’t admire 
Sucking up to higher ups like they’re your damn pacifier 
Junko forced our whole class to watch Chiaki’s death and
It still brought less despair than your original on Netflix
I’m more stone-faced than fuckin Munakata
So drop the Poker Face, Lady Googoogaga 
Or I’ll drop a diss right on top a bitch
And like your Oscar win, I’m fuckin robbing this

The Boss Baby (0:52):
Ooh, would you look at that, it’s the scary Danganronpa man
Get real, they have a subdivision in Baby Corp. dedicated to all your fans
Each of your games is built from the same model
Franchise so formulaic, it’d fit in my dang bottle
The moment that I popped in the womb, baby I balled in it
I’ll win by more than a hair, kid, I’mma Baldwin it
Bring your whole clan and let’s get down to business
Yea, the company I’m reppin’s used to putting down bitches
Stacking layers of dough, dine on high class placenta
Rock Armani drip, leaving you dripping magenta 
Slim Shady with an eyepatch won’t be a challenge
Dressing like a pirate Gomez Addams
I won’t be forgiving your horrible temper 
‘Cause I’m more heavy metal than your choice of a weapon
So don’t get too close when you’re stepping
I’m the B-O-S-S, feel no stress, best hold your defenses
And your trashy written love story arc left you killed, bro
Seems Peko left you with Twilight Syndrome
And, uhhhh, while you were bearing all the pain and trauma with the abrasions caused from all your time as head of the yakuza
Well, uhhhh, I took your baby mama Pekoyama, showed her where babies come from, put her to rest harder than Monokuma

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (1:45):
Talk about Peko like that again and I’ll gnash your fuckin teeth in
Let’s see how much you wanna talk shit when I put my damn feet in this fetus, I’ll leave him defeated
And dropped on a doorstep, and once I render you an orphan
How about I do what your parents should’ve and make this track your abortion (Brrrraaaahhh)
This is one tape you’ll wish never gets played back, son
You’re getting milked so hard, no wonder Francis can’t stand ya
I dodged a bullet, got my death swapped, case 3, pre-production
Your film dodged a bullet dropping Spacey before he touched it
My kin taught me discipline, you got spoiled and pampered
I’d beat the shit jokes out ya, little kid, just to teach ya some manners
I guess I’m just too old to get your appeal, sorry
But you scream disaster more than a gender reveal party 

The Boss Baby (2:19):
I’m trying to wrap my head around you, but I can’t tell which carries more weight
Your shoulders from all your losses or… the swimsuit that caved your sister’s face (What?)
God damn Baby Numbnuts, how about you stop your whining
Your lyrics are just nonsense: Jabberwocky Island
I’d take out your last eye, but you’re already so blind (Ay ay ay ay)
While I’m a bad baby, so catch me outside (Ay ay ay ay)
Quit talking to me or you oughta get beat
Get blown off of the scene like it’s Nagito’s dreams
I’m so fly and I’m killing this mic
So watch this blackened bird leave you dead in the night 

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Mixing/Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Anywaywell
Cover Art by Rabi

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu vs The Boss Baby. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

LYRICS

SpinDashPro:
What you're about to see will be total destruction! 
Tails, not now, I'm trying to deliver an introduction 
What, against the guy from 2010
Who only serves as a footnote for nerds who browse on the web? Yeah!
Your mic’s the only peak you reached, your sound’s soundin’ stressed!
Leave it to the 14 year old to go and spout some nonsense
You're already used to throwing, dude, your house is a mess
Aged about 3 years and then went down with your trend! 
My content will forever remain iconic
Your content’s TedTalking why people hate Sonic
And who’s the choice of guy on your back that you’ve chosen?
I thought we already took down SuperMarioLogan

Sammyclassicsonicfan:
I’ve had it up to here with your fricking spitting!
‘Least all my fans didn’t think I’m fricking missing!
It’s funny how my content’s the one you’re fricking dissing
‘Cause yours devolved to Sonic fan-frick-tion!
You attack like you're so fricking harmful
But your rhyming sounds like you're tripping marbles!
And I’m tired of having to deal with the trolls and haters
My shots frick you up like “IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER”
Paused production and the fans grew older
You run a track as well as a Krazy Koster
Fricking pull in Knuckles and you’re still punching out 
So make like all your old videos and cut it ou-

SpinDashPro:
Raps flunking like the 2DS, but I guess two really suits too
Must be drinking disappearing ink, I can see right through you
But hey, it’s bold of you to embrace what you used to be, it’s cool to see
Then you wouldn’t have changed much if you quit YouTube!

Sammyclassicsonicfan:
Me quitting YouTube? You’re one to talk
You fricking shooed off of the platform and dropped
You’re not good with comebacks, just look at your growth, man!
I’d switch the channel to a different cooking program

CREDITS 

GamingPlush64 As Sonic
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWX7jJ5lodM_poQuXMTqjQ
Shimario As Tails
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsFyrvAhPhiEvJ1yL_Ux8MQ
Fightmarker as sammyclassicsonicfan
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClNJgoh_a9oYoLenAR0RzGg

Written by Rabi and GamingPlush64
Mixed and mastered by GamingPlush64
Beat by Kustom
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby
https://soundcloud.com/user-465943028

SpinDashPro vs. Sammyclassicsonicfan - Rap Battle

Thumbnail by Nooby
Art by 01Tyler10
Mixed by Zagranis

Uncredited as Squidward Suicide
https://soundcloud.com/lasaillax as Yuri

Written by Cri, Nooby and Psytube
Additional help 01Tyler10 and JustGamer 

Beat by 2Deep

Lyrics
---------------------------------------------------------------
Yuri:
Who lives in a giant head under the sea?
As annoying and stubborn and worthless is he.
Who’s nautical nonsense just leaves me pissed.
Take him out of the water to flop like a fish.
With all the stories I've read i can tell that your not unique
The boy next door being a depressed outcasted freak
Need open your third eye if your hoping to step on me
Will be the most tragic death since L.M. Montgomery
Wanted to play for all your fans when you don’t have one
Listening to your ego what makes you think it’s that fun
You will need Happy Thoughts when this match is done
Be left blowing through your mind like it was a shotgun
It’s a flowing focused poet against some slow twit dull opponent 
Leaving more Red Mist then the dead kids your showing
A lackluster lacking language no wonder that you’re so livid
since nickelodeon scorched their copy of your meaningless image

Squidward:
Your agonizing ambient is atone for your anxiety
Wouldn’t need a third eye to see your effort’s fruitless
Monika wants to save your soul but i won't spill your tea
Ended your story like Sayori even though you’re the bigger noose-ance 
DO IT! Verse ended up worse than your mental health
DO IT! But you only get the point when you cut yourself
DO IT! Bleeding through your sleeves like it was an ink splotch
Painting another Portrait for me to Markov
Pick up the pen, don’t push it to please your morbidity
Killed yourself for a guy, Patrick doesn't even bare that stupidity
Stayed silent for 4 years forever stuck in a state of infamy
No surprise the musician serenades the poet in this symphony
Stabbing you with each line and unlike your knife I'll be blunt.
That even after all your trauma you still couldn’t make the cut
You went from psychologically deep to a psychopathical feind
This battle is just another time you spoke without thinking

Yuri:
i know the audience reaction got your tears streaming
but if they weren't so polite it would've been their ears bleeding
Another obnoxious brat that nobody would care if they died
Because when you killed yourself once and only you had cried

Squidward:
Your club squabbles to tolerate you. Only brought content to prolong the filler
So Monika turned your basic love story into boring thriller
So if you will excuse me i must practice for my performance
It's time to shut the book and put an end to this torment

Yuri Vs Squidward's Suicide - Rap Battles by Cri (Ft. K.C.)

#rapbattle #fallout #gameandwatch

subscribe to dilly ► https://www.youtube.com/c/LocoRapBattles   
support dilly on patreon ►
https://www.patreon.com/locorapbattles
music video OUT NOW!
https://youtu.be/yuNA5lFhePQ

dilly as vault boy
ennway as mr. game and watch

Written by dilly, swoldow, and masong
(additional writing by nooby, trakked, pixel chris and ennway)
mixed by ennway
beat prod. by ennway
art by triplestabber and nooby
cover art by micah
series logo by timelord

this series is a tribute to epic rap battles of history.
https://www.youtube.com/user/ERB

Vault Boy vs Mr. Game and Watch - Rap Battle! (2021)

it is halloween time!

M!CAH as One Million Viewer
Trakked as Username 666
Beat produced by ENNWAY
Written by Trakked, Cole, Jailyn and Dani Frias
Chiseled by Psytube
Mixed by Light
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
One Million Viewer:
.icu Username, welcome to a newer hell
This ain’t a pleasure; your fate was sealed when you clicked the URL
Hard to pinpoint any details when your story’s so generic
Hyper-realistic gore won’t put your viewers in hysterics
Soon the eyes will descend, choking in your lines and dreams
To get your shit story clicks you must’ve got help from me
Been around since ‘06? Satan must be old news,
Cuz your channel’s one oddity that I’d never give a million views

Username:
Here’s a refresher OMV, Creepiest Pasta on the Tube
When people hear your name they say ‘Hello, Who are you?’
I got kids fearing my name, you've got a grammar fault in yours
Reload your site, leave you hacked, call it another 404
Don't need an email to see fails in this poorly run site
You’re getting derailed to the Spam file; where I rip out your one eye
Every trace of you will get X’d out when I spit six-six-sick
Nothing can shut my servers down! You get weak from a single click

One Million Viewer:
Win’ll be Private when I’m demonetizing your verse
So run back to Nana and hope your browser’s file isn't cursed
Gives you more time thinking, since your reign of terror has ended,
With one million reports ;account’s forever suspended

Username:
The Illuminati rip-off wants to go and trash my name?
I’ve been explained on many channels, a wiki’s your claim to fame! (yeah)
I leave Soundcloud bots to rot, left in hellfire,
Mad cause the only cat-eye used in battles is Bill Cipher

One Million Viewer:
My victory’s gleaming and glaring like a cat’s eye!
Learning your defeat second hand, but I guess that’s no surprise
The one mill’ will be here soon; I’ll leave this devil here to burn (uh)
Calling me a rip-off? Then Glesgorv would like a word (yuh)

Username:
You’re not 1 of a million, you suck at being unique
With just a hand, I crash computers, your connection looks too weak
Your wifi's gone down, no potential, this kid should see
Can shut down your computer, but you'll NEVER get rid of me.

One Million Viewer vs Username 666 - Rap Cypher #16.66

"I'll only be in FRB vs Anything if you make me vs God"
- That one guy who wrote "I'M MISTER KING DIIIIICEEEE"

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. In celebration of the holidays, we have the father of the modern FRB community Freshy "Dustin" Kanal rap battling father of the modern universe which is also the normal universe, God. 

God - Fightmarker
Freshy Kanal - Dustin
Written by - Freshy Kanal, JustGamer
Beat by - Epistra
Mixed & Arranged by - Freshy Kanal (Dustin)
Cover art by God himself wow

God verse 1:
Coming down from the heavens to teach this mortal a lesson 
In the booth against me you’re better off saying a confession 
If I wanted to fight a clone I’d rage against the first humans I made
You’re all 7 deadly sins combined, allow me to explain
(cough) (that’s better)
Selling out for views, lusting to see people lose, such a glutton for more slaves
Yet you’re a sloth for work, envious of Eddie, anger causing you to misbehave
The pride you present is painful, an ego the size and height to reach the skies
Couldn’t find a battle of yours without filler lines even with my all-seeing eyes 
You’re an imbecile, fool (yeah!) God’s taking you straight to school (yeah!)
And then send you down to Hell for trying to break all of my rules (yeah!)
I’m all powerful while you can’t do shit without Benny or Fel writing
You and your channel have both hit their peak, now you’re both dying

Freshy Kanal verse 1:
Where’s the god fanbase at tho, can I even lose
I’d make a battle with you but you wouldn’t get me views
You're the reason behind constant anger and violence
I'm the reason behind Kustom’s Anger and violins
You can’t say shit when I’m the one who doubled everything that you did first
You’re the ruler of one world, bitch I own a cinematic universe
And since the past has moved our earth away from your religion meth heads
I’ve seen a better version of Morgan Freeman in the kominsky method
6 days in the week I write my script in a cycle and shrivel my rivals
On day 7 I spread my legs and shit on the bible
The church sent me a letter for taxes, but I’m a simple thinker
I sent the letter back with a drawing of my middle finger

God verse 2:
Run away from my religion? I’ll spark up flames with a lightning strike
Or are you more scared of strikes related to copyright?
This German prick will learn that I’m sick, when I spit a diss, I’m hitting 
Your time would better be spent explaining to kids mixing commissions 
Invoke my wrath inside in a rap but you should know that you won’t last
(That bar means that I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS)
Bitches know I got that hot flow
God just cannot be stopped bro
Pull out the 9 with these shots yo
Got fire lines you can’t top those
You like Donkey Kong cause you’re ape brain
God’s next patch: take you off the mainframe 
This battle shall mark your last offense
Don’t ever fucking diss God again!

Freshy Kanal verse 2:
I bring quotes around the world, in 20 years they’ll spit my venom
You riddled the world with cringey phrases like “good heavens”
I ain’t fuckin with them homophobes, so I’mma poke your nose
I can use all of my chromosomes to punch your bible comatose
I interpret history by recrafting the past
You make wars for hatred, I make battles for laughs
I got a voice acting role open if you need a job offer
I know you made me but I still fucked your mother, call me the godfather

Freshy Kanal vs. God - FRB vs. Anything

Happy 420 everyone! Light up a joint and have a listen to two of the funniest and deepest musicians to ever hit big time rap it out. This battle might be one others have done, but no one can do it like Jenni does~

Weird Al Voiced By Zawesome
Bo Voiced By WoodenHornets
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Creeper Pasta

BEAT: Accordion Freestyle Reggae - Hip Hop Instrumental - 2019


Bo:

Welcome to the internet, Weird Al
So place your bets, Weird Al. You’ll get wrecked, Weird Al
It’s the best of the next gen humor and mood
Against the dude who got big writing songs about food
Got the hottest shit, Netflix profiting
The only time your topping it, is with that sloppy wig
And let’s talk about your choice of attire
Prints so bright, I wish my Eyes were on Fire!
I’m a master with my Words, Words, Words
When I split an old turd into thirds, thirds, thirds!
And I’m predicting that you’ll slam me with your Grammys
But it couldn’t save you from the fact your fans are Boomer Grannies!
I may be younger but maybe take some advice
Rappers aren’t the guys to try when you’re looking for paradise!
People treat you like a genius but it’s all in your head
When we can use UHF to prove that Art is Dead!

Weird Al:

Put down that microphone and listen to me, Bo!
Cause guess What? It’s time for Al to put up a fight
You won’t have a easy time when you’re dissing me, Bo
Should make your special and just stay Inside
Since Demento, I’ve been rocking the squeeze box
You were falling down the Vine, with your whiny little tween talk
And sure you got tears flowing back in Eighth Grade
You only stir up emotions when we can’t see your face!
So stop the Word Crimes, you really need to man up
With those raps it’s the first time I’ve laughed at your stand up
You acting like these fake deep songs give you clout
With the listeners asking “What is this song all about?”!
Running With Scissors, of course I can cut a track
I rocked it as Wreck-Gar, but you’re the one talking trash
Your talent’s one act. I’m a master of variety
Probably stutter out your next verse: performance anxiety

Bo:

I thought I was hypocrite but you’re full of crap
This has been panders harder than Chipp McCapp
You’d need to parody my rap for you to have a chance to do this
I’m provoking real thoughts, you just Dare to be Stupid!
And with a bach in architects, I was expecting
You to build a better verse and flow for me to come and wreck it
Al’s Polka Face will crack when this master starts to hurt ‘em
Of course you were gonna lose. ‘Cause foes? Bo burns ‘em!

Weird Al:

More frantic banter with those ansty songs
Think you’ll win this but Everything You Know is Wrong!
So stay where you belong! You’re better behind the scenes, dude
Al’s got more talent than a jam packed Green Room!
But don’t panic! You’ll get beat by a classic
You’re so White and Nerdy, you’re my perfect demographic!
Battling Bo? I’ve had it! You couldn’t spit fire, kid.
So do us both a favor, and get back to retirement!

Weird Al Yankovich Vs. Bo Burnham - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of mysterious entities that just stare at you: Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv vs Hell Valley Sky Trees. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Mereana

Rabi as purple Tree
GamingPlush64 as green Tree
Fightmarker as blue Tree

Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Dumbchild

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv vs Hell Valley Sky Trees | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Kustom

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
VS
JERRY SEINFELD
BEGIN


Jerry Seinfeld:
Want a World War-Burton? Joe Swanson can’t spit hard
When old grandpas make up his whole fan club
But by now, I’m sure you’re used to sitcoms
Cause that body of yours sure ain’t fit for stand-up
Ayyy, Jerry Seinfeld, unrivaled
Grab a mic, I’ll go right into spittin’ fire, insightful 
Can’t hope to fight all my titles because my comedy’s dominant
While you’re awful in politics, your democracy flopped to bits
And your policies aren’t shit to the shows that I’ve landed
So this song, I’ll be calling it “Punks in Chairs Getting Their Asses Handed”
Set foot in the White House, unemployment went berserk
Jesus, not even your legs wanted to work
It’s your Constitutional right to not talk, so use it
Cause that novice Truman drops more bombs than you, man
What are your contributions? We’re all just clueless, for real!
Left the American people asking “What’s the New Deal?”
Got status higher than you during your Infamy spiel, cretin
My damn Bee Movie Script tops all your boring ass speeches
My old man fought for the Allies, so I’ll respect your appeal
But now the only Axises you’re battling are on your wheelchair wheels

FDR:
You call yourself a comedian? Those jokes were dreadful!
The only thing we have to fear is another one of your specials
To hell with your two cents, I’ll give you my right dime
I’ll need less than four terms to dismantle your tight five
FDR sets the bar extra hard ‘gainst this farce
Left in shards when I’m armed, best not harm the pres in charge
500 pairs of sneakers and still no footing in humor
Just a dried out boomer, call you Amy Shoe-mer
I trashed Hitler’s whole state, you took silver to Goldthwait
But you must be fed up with all the critics on your plate
I’m the next George Washington, you’re ignored over George Costanza
Even Madison would tower over crack Adam Sandler
I led my country through the greatest depths
When the economy crashed harder than the Marriage Ref
Then I beat the world’s evils, stirred people up with ill words
And now they pit me up against a safe for work Bill Burr?

Jerry Seinfeld:
Let’s back it up a tad bit, you cousin-loving fascist 
Don’t act like your past isn’t shrouded in trash, prick
Try rescuing refugees, or if that’s too much to ask
At least try not cramping the Japanese in internment camps
You just might be the most racist dude in World War Two
Cause even Hitler treated Jesse Owens better than you
First man to rep a black card, that’s the kinda bank this dude owns
But the only Black guy you ever liked was Hugo

FDR:
With that foul rap odor, I doubt you’re sober
‘Cause you whine about society more than the Joker
And now Gen Z memes cause your legacy to wilt
Change your sitcom’s description to a show about your skill
You barely made it, your career was carried thanks to Larry David
And you dare to claim I’m racist when your fame is dated
Fading ratings, there’s no way you’ll save ‘em, tanked just like your failed relations
Maybe make sure that the babe you crave’s of age before you date them
Franklin’s undebatedly the greatest man to grace this planet
Your bits make some lame kids laugh but my words make the stage go frantic
Make you panic, hateful tactics won’t suffice or aid your rapping
I don’t need a cane to grasp, my verbal hooks will take this has-been

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Franklin D. Roosevelt vs Jerry Seinfeld. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Anywaywell

SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES
JEVIL
VS
MONTRESOR
BEGIN!

Montresor:
Greetings and salutations, it’s your companion Montresor
Meeting this valiant acquaintance, I must ask of one request, sir
That we skip this poor bravado and check my kin’s coat and motto
You’ll end up with Fortunado when I wreak havoc on jesters
Mask on, draped in Gothic clothing
I’m a sly Fox, more cunning than Toby
Took your first game’s whole gimmick then cloned it
There’s been no change, where’s your metamorphosis?
I’ll leave you howling for your verbal crimes,
Not talking Amontillado when I bask in your fervent whines
And once this murder’s final, you’re sure to find
I’ve committed the perfect rhyme

Jevil:
Let’s play a game, a game, I call it “Guess the Human”
This one’s consumed by petty feuding, and now his World Revolves around retribution
And wasted his life away plotting to maim his pal
But it all went to shit as their silence gnawed at his fulfillment, *cone cap jingles, beat stops* does that ring a bell?
*laugh* Too dim to pass as a Lightner
You’re at your most bright when you’re slathered in nitre 
This one is a game you’re not playing so well
Must be a Holiday ‘cause I’m taking no Ls
No chance you can match with my pace (Chaos)
You’re a tactless disgrace (Chaos)
Get Luchesi to rap in your place 
For the drunkard who authored you lacked any taste (Weehee!)
When causing carnival carnage, I am unparalleled
Dirges burning like curtains, I ride a beat like a carousel (Pip pip)
Put your friend to sleep for 50 years? You put me to sleep for a century
Tryna be invested in your story got me like, “Erm...I can do mostly anything”

Montresor:
That’s the best you could do to me?
Then I’ll be punishing this puny imp with impunity
Played your cards against a pack of children, then soiled it 
All it took was TP to flush this joker down the toilet
It’s drudgery having to wait for you
So behind in development, call you Betarune
Break you apart like the key for your cell’s lock
In paces recquiescat
For the love of god (the love of god)
I’ll put this hack in a box (hack in a box)
I Rouxl harder than Kaard (harder than Kaard)
So just call me Seam (just call me Seam)
For this ordeal’s left me in stitches and you’ve pushed my buttons so good day to you
Now the friend you once trusted shall lock you away for good, feeling déjà vu?

Jevil:
No urban legend that Boston Harbored
Could incite new ideas in your garbage author
Just another loon Poe wrote to give readers creeps 
A discount Tell-Tale but failed to keep a beat
You think you’re all that ‘cause you clowned on a jester
But as you fall flat, I’ll be crowned like it’s checkers
You spent your verse threatening thousands of injuries
Yet through it all, you’ve not once tried to insult me
I Cirque de Slay when I’m spitting
I stole the whole show as a side mission
This shabby old creep can’t keep up the tempo
‘Gainst gaming’s most demented jester since Dimentio
Oh, what a fun game this has been, frolicking in the cemetery 
So here’s one more final jest between friends and it’s not the hatchet getting buried *laugh*

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES

Montresor vs Jevil. Snakebite Rap Battles

death around the corner

[Verse]

Cut through the static, syllables acrobatic,

Edges serrated, bars chromatic.

Sharper than a chef's knife, cold steel tactics,

Every word a weapon, this tongue's automatic.



Concrete jungle, the asphalt's trembling,

Stepping with the force of tectonic assembling.

Quick cuts, my flow's a guillotine swing,

Heads roll when the rhyme schemes cling.



[Chorus]

On the blade's edge, slicing through the dark,

Carving out my name, leaving a spark.

Edge so sharp, the beat can't mend,

This is where the lines cut, where the words transcend.



[Verse 2]

Clock ticks double time, hands spin frantic,

Verse so volcanic, leave the mic in panic.

Surgical precision, incisions so organic,

Ink bleeds the page, the pen’s mechanic.



Red lights flashing, danger in the rhythm,

Heartbeats syncopate, my lungs stay driven.

Daggers in my diction, venom in the prism,

Every rhyme's a blade, slicing through the schism.



[Bridge]

Cut, slash, sever, divide,

Flow like a scalpel, no place to hide.

Lines hit harder than a sword on the grind,

Every breath sharp, every pause refined.

Blade's Edge

Welcome to the series premiere of Objects vs Anything! In this fearsome battle, we have the first president of the United States, George Washington, engaging in lyrical combat against a washing machine. Who will win? Listen to find out!

OBJECTS VS ANYTHING
GEORGE WASHINGTON
VS
WASHING MACHINE
YEP.

George Washington:
This reads not like a battle, more a chore of a weekly visit
When all you’re good for’s washing the red I left on the coats of the British
Want something that’ll make your head enter a spin cycle? Well here, peasant 
You could never revolve without the revolution I spearheaded
I fought for my Rights, got my face on the Bill
Fall to my might, you’ll be leaking yourself
Step to me, your insides get chopped
You’ll be left like a child using you as a hiding spot 
I may have died but look at how I croaked
We all know I’m ill when I rap from my throat
This battle shall read like my inauguration, I’m winning this bitch by unanimous vote

Washing Machine:
Come at me, George? You’ll sustain damage of sorts you can’t afford
Because with skill, you’re more starved than your fellow soldiers in Valley Forge
But all I need is to take one glance at your dirty laundry, son
You’re only good at racial cleansing, call you white-Washington
(Oh!) Big wigs ain’t scaring me
This dude’s been a hack since the cherry tree
This flow, you shouldn’t be crossing, kid
You’ll get whipped like you’re building your monument
While you were out in the war, such a bad leader even the French made you tap out
Ask Martha if you were the only Washington with wood in your mouth
I’m a washing machine and I come in so clean, you’ll bobbing to me cause my bars are so heat
This old Washington freak may have got a DC but on top of this beat, he ain’t fathering me
Bro you used to be known as America’s savior, now scandals cause vandals to spark your erasure 
Now your only history left that remains are the dollars that people come to me to pay with

George Washington:
Oh please, the rope in my lawn is more effective with lines, sir 
I’d call this battle a wash, but your style couldn’t be dryer
People get mad at you when you make a sock lose its place?
Let’s see how mad you get once I leave you socked in the face
I kept the states United in a time of crisis
You’re a wrinkle getting crushed by a fist of iron
First damn president to set foot into office
Meanwhile, it’s a given, your rap noise: obnoxious
Once I’ve left this dysfunctional apparatus burned with rhymes
It won’t take any suicidal web challenge for me to turn the Tides

Washing Machine:
Were too pussy to take sides in any of the Father’s tons of feuds
God damn, even George Washington Carver has more nuts than you!
Call you washed up ‘cause your fame will drown
Threw out the king, so how can you take the crown
Rather alone than in bad company? Hardly
You couldn’t get invited to a political party
No treaty’s enough to defeat me, so now let’s see what your eulogy’s going to read
First in war, first in peace, and first to be cleaned up by the flow machine

WHAT WON?
WHAT’S NEXT?
I’LL PROBABLY DECIDE THE NEXT MATCHUP BUT IF I LIKE YOURS IT’LL BE DONE AND YOU DECIDE THE WINNER!
OBJECTS VS ANYTHING

Snakebite126 as George Washington
Freshy Kanal as Washing Machine
Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Child Hiding Spot line written by GamingPlush64
Written by Snakebite126 and Commander Jacob
Additional writing help from Eddiefrb
Beat by Hala-X

That about covers it. I have some ideas cooking up for the next installments, but feel free to suggest your own ideas and if they're good, I'll do them! Smell you later, alligator. ;)

George Washington vs Washing Machine - Objects vs Anything [SERIES PREMIERE]

After a long hiatus, Snakebite126 Rap Battles of Inside Things finally gets a name change because what a fucking stupid name that is. It also comes back with a battle of epic proportions between the mystical writer, The Rap Battle Fairy, and the fecal thief, The Shit Goblin, in a battle of the FRB cryptids.

Cast:
The Rap Battle Fairy as themselves
The Shit Goblin as themselves
Mixing and Mastering - Freshy Kanal
Beat produced by Anywaywell

Lyrics:
The Rap Battle Fairy:
Looks like it’s time for me to once again take flight
As all of FRB dozes off in their dreams 
This mystical entity appears in the night
To write a verse against the one who put them all to sleep (Let’s go)
It’s the Rap Battle Fairy coming out the gate
‘Gainst a crack addict bearing tons of pounds in weight
Oh, with just a swish of the wand
I got the power to make any verse bippity bop
And while you’re screaming at your victims to start hitting the quan 
Man, your trials are just errors and I’m leaving ‘em plunged 
And is the fact that you work a job at Walmart a shock?
‘Cause from your traps and voice tapes, you’re just a bargain bin Saw

The Shit Goblin:
Fucking dies 
Now I may not be the Jizz Demon, but please start retreating or you’re really gonna get fucked
I’ll let my voice go louder, kid you don’t-don’t matter, better hope your bladder doesn’t go and splatter
‘Cause from all the living creatures that this pro’s encountered, you’re the only one I won’t be taking shit from
Bitch, what? The Shit Goblin’s hip-hoppin’ 
You’re in deep shit once I kick off, this pimp’s poppin’
You hear the night’s calling and it prompts your arrival
But my speeches will leave you dipping this call like my disciples 
You got your grand start from Pyro vs Memeulous
And yet the best verse was the only one that Felix did
You only make rounds when you have to make up a diss
But I’m more than used to fairies taking the piss

The Rap Battle Fairy:
The Piss Fairy, huh? Well those jokes were piss poor (Yeah)
When I’m taking number one, it’s the Best Writer awards
Plus I’m honestly surprised that you’d think I’d be that threatened
By Danganronpa with a scat fetish (Whoo!)
I’m so fly, your insanity’s boundless
Call Rosie to leave her son reality grounded
Poor stranger, I’m leaving you wrecked with my magic raps 
Cause a flanger is the only effect that your rapping has
As we’re battling, once you see how hard my pen game hits
This’ll be like your third trial tape, you’ll never make it
My bars get songs on playlists, so far I gotta say this
If you’re trying to make movements on the mic, I guess you’re constipated

The Shit Goblin:
Wanna beat me, bro? You need to start over
I’ve seen more appealing flow come from the Barf Ogre
You got left like my minions, stuck, enslaved and
Now you can’t escape the chains of Dustin’s basement
Yeah, I got homies in FRB that’ll clip your wings
I’m a rapper, I’m a rebel, yo it’s Shitty G
Once you’re with hit with bars so heavy like plip-plop
It’s fitting a piece of shit like yourself gets dropped
I’m a stone cold killer and I’m so conniving
You ain’t no dope winner but you’re so bold trying
The immortal, living since before your time
Whose getting sold your spirit, bitch your soul’s all mine
And the minute that you started getting deadlines
Half the scripts you rushed all ended up with dead lines
So don’t challenge me with your lame flows
This battle’s like all your other commitments - shoulda learned to say “no”

Anyways I'm leaving the community now because I am never topping this.

George Washington vs Washing Machine - Objects vs Anything [SERIES PREMIERE]

Snakebite126

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