British children's author Roald Dahl battles against American poet, Shel Silverstein to see who is the superior writer.

F00pz as Roald Dahl
Seth W. as Shel Silverstein 
Flowtest by Dustin
Beat prod by Baghira
Mixed by Dustin and Seth
Written by R the Writer 
Chiseled by Legion
Thumbnail by Aaron Peters

Roald Dahl:
When I pen out my bars, they spell doom for this oaf
With sharp rhymes I dine on a poet like a bloath
I created the roots for flicks and tales adored by all
This frail Shel of an Author's left forgotten next to Dahl
I'm the champion here, you're better off as an apprentice
Who excites kids more Willy Wonka or Dan the Dentist?
Reduce a rancid writer's rants, there's no chance of him outflowing me
This missing piece will meet a big L when I shelve his putrid poetry

Shel Silverstein:
I've got the globe in my hands and I'll drop it on faux Carroll
Said to have warm sentiment? Your best tales are kids imperiled
Pit against this trunch-bull spewing twit? I find that insulting
Even in the 80s, your rhymes weren't as revolting
Better get croc tongue, your current effort's fruitless
As your attic light's shot by the vet that's more ruthless
The word profuse describes abuse I'll cast upon this nuisance 
I'm a legendary wordsmith rendering plot rehashers useless

Roald Dahl:
Indeed I wrote revolting rhymes, received better than your rapping
Trying to talk back smack? Now I'll leave your bones blackened
My arsenal of tales, they're whales. A buffet for Melinda Mae.
Impacts everlasting like a gobstobber, still mentioned to this day
Look away, as I harshly outshine this absurd obscurity
You're prone to heart attacks, you'll suffer another assuredly
Stacked up hot garbage, now look at you, you're rubbish
Looks like your comeback is going to be posthumously published

Shel Silverstein:
I'm checkin' out of this fight, see I've just about had it
With this adversary spitting more gibberish than runny Babbit
Fill you with plotholes, I'm a shel-shocker, blasting out warheads
Make your chance of winning this fight spottier than your forehead
Must be bonkers aiming for this like Oscars, you've run Wild
But it's Shel's adult night and I'll be rid of this manchild!
Now let's tell a tale of Dahl, a fool who thought it would appear
As though this was a piece of cake, yet it was the end of his career

(Next Battle: Lions ft.VinnyO)

Check out Seth's album!
https://soundcloud.com/seth-wisniewski-1/sets/i-am-me-2017

Shel Silverstein Vs Roald Dahl - Rap Battle

(CONTEXT: https://i.redd.it/sxgappnq4mw11.jpg)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the goofy mutilated murderers: MDHHCD vs Hash-Slinging Slasher

-LYRICS-

Man Door:
(Yo) whatcha gonna do, wave at me with your nub singed?
I got a handle on this battle; Man Door is unhinged
Oh look, more slime to spill down the Krusty Krab walls as usual
Frying and firing this fry cook like a 2nd funeral
My bars have got that secret sauce that you're lacking, huh?
You couldn’t flip a line if both of your hands were spatulas
Speed of Gary when you’re rhyming. Try to run from my sickle
You’re bout as scary as a pirate tryna come for my pickle (ugh)
Hop back on your bus, cuz you best be retreating
Don’t need Nosferatu, I’ll knock your lights out neatly
Let’s hope your verse is like your phone calls: no speaking
I’ll leave you in the dumpster, so good luck… sweaty

Hash-Slinging Slasher
Staying up… at night with THAT verse? Bad decision
But to be fair, it was longer than your story to begin with
How’s a guy with no name or design think he’s not losing?
Both raise our eyebrows: you with fear, me with confusion
Either learn better English or get slayed hard, bitch
If I let you in, be ready for a graveyard shift
And with your hook lodged in the door, it’s time that I sped up
I’m looking to see red like “dude, can I get some ketchup?”
I got your ass sprinting backwards like a gas-thieving bastard
Yo, you’re a trash-flinging rapper, and I’m the Hash-Slinging Slasher
Go back to stealing steres, you copypasta wannabe
I stopped the voice cuz I was nervous you’d keep spitting awfully


Light as Man Door hand Hook Car Door
Commander Jacob as Hash-Slinging Slasher
Zawesome as Ketchup Requester (cameo)
Written by Commander Jacob and Zawesome
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

Man Door Hand Hook Car Door vs Hash-Slinging Slasher | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Video dropping Halloween!

Light as Guts
Fightmarker as Doomguy

Beat Produced by: Audio Network
Written by: Dani Frias
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: Rabi
Old Thumbnail by: SonicSmash
Flow Test by: Dani Frias

Lyrics:

Guts:
This ain’t the hell you’re used to, so I suggest you back off
The Black Swordsman is up against Master Chief only half off
I’m those spider demons you fight and you’re just a simple house bug
So tell me who stomps in this match if your NASA shit pulls the plug
You like easter eggs? Well go have a crack at this
I’ll John Romero this when I get a-head with all your hits
So step to me if you dare, just know it’ll be your last trip
Since my sword will hit the same lips that you’ll use to kiss my ass with

Doomguy: 
East verse west, Guts meets the best
It’s a gunfight, yet you bring swords to compete against
Soundtrack from Mick Gordon with songs that he made from his lip
up fighting worse english than Chinese bootlegs? This’ll be a trip
So let’s get the party going, I won’t leave this battle floored
Griffith fucked your girl first since your dick ain’t big as your sword
Followed by your 2016 show that shouldn't have left the station
I’d say to walk away if I didn’t have to see that animation
Rip and tear through tactics, Guts’ guts will sure be bleeding, 
The ugliest one-eyed motherfucker since the Cacodemon
and it seems you lack cohesion with a new swordsman to switch to
So don’t call yourself the goat, kid, I’ve history killing him too
 
Guts:
My back hurts, but I don’t think I got it from those lines
It’s from carrying my team while yours keeps dying all the time
and keep my name out your mouth like you think you’re some kind of bruiser
Named Doomguy, marine, and slayer, but I’ll truly call you loser
You’re on Falcon’s territory, I’m so fly when I go diss you
Fight with no breaks while you fight Snake over a little shih tzu
You don’t know jack about me, take your vengeance somewhere else and fade
Too bad you’re stuck in hell with none to say you fell down to my blade

Doomguy:
Aww, don’t cry now. Your fans might make that meme again, dude
Sword Art Online took your name and now you’re mad I’ll take your shit too
I’m glad you took your research but let’s note down something well
Between us, who’s the one that actually surpassed through hell?

Guts vs. Doomguy - #6

Snakebite126 as Gengar
Alex the Beast as Enderman

Gengar:
Everyone’s favourite pokémon enters in your ring
Rapping against the guy who made deserts more boring?
As a seasoned poltergeist, I could have you out cold on the floor in a second
I’d take a door and I’d break your jaw but it looks like you saved me the effort
I’m Gengar, all the kids are scared of me, let’s take a look at this long armed skinny thing
Man used to be a bigshot enemy till kids turned his ass to a mob farm guinea pig
No prank could compare to this mockery, what’s this fucker even gonna do, chuck a block at me
I’m the power making people cower at the doorstep of the tower while you can’t even stand still properly

Enderman:
It’s cute that baby’s first ghost wants to call me second rate
I’d feel bad crippling you more, you already lost Levitate
Aww, you’re the ace of Agatha? I’m the ace of a fucking dragon bruh
Should go back to your birthday party haunted house when you’re facing this massacre ravager
I'm teleporting when I'm in my Haunting watch all players scream when they see me
While this scrambled egg wants to diss on my game when his scariest squad is called fucking Team Meanies
So don’t think you’ll beat me, ooh, I’m lord of the desert so yeah I’m more than effective at beating Haunter With Legs up
The thought of a trainer ever having fought with your setup, I’d have abandoned you too if I saw those defences
I’m actually better through patches, it’s terror that all Gamefreak did to you’s trash out your mega
So crack from the pressure or come at me with your Gigantamax form looking half in the Nether
I stack up against ya and it’s not just height, put moving around forks against a real pro’s fright
I’ll wipe that grin off your face and there is no escaping, how could you miss with those eyes

Gengar:
Can’t think of decent material when we clash, Ender?
I haven’t seen you this stumped since your smash render
All that glitchy teleporting for a 50% lame drop?
The only End you lead me to is switching the fucking game off
(Fast Rap)
This little freak bag wants to be more than a cheap gag?
Even those arms couldn’t reach that
Flee fast, you had no direction in that rap
Expected better from a glorified Satnav
Don’t need a lizard eye to see who’s winning
I mean just look at this B class villain
Spawn in the hundreds and sold out as plushes
My guy’s basically The End’s Minions

Enderman:
There’s simply no match when I’m up against this desperate dead blob
I’d drop you low as your Pokkén tier if I could get past bedrock
‘Bout time I end this fight and this pathetic sight leave you more withered than your shiny when I strike
Gonna send your ass back to the tower and- oh endermites (he gets slashed in half by steve it makes more sense with the video)

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Anywaywell

Enderman vs Gengar - Psytube Rap Battles

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been hard at work on this new series, MC Fawful Rap Battles! This first battle pits the Springwood Slasher, Freddy Krueger, against Jacob's favorite son, Joseph! Which dreamer will win? That's for you to decide!

Alex/J Morris the Review Guy as Freddy Krueger
Snakebite126 as Joseph
Mixed by Alex
Written by MC Fawful and Snakebite126
Thumbnail by Trakked

Freddy Krueger:
This lame teen can explain dreams? Then, surely you’ll know the most important sign.
When Freddy’s haunting your nightmares, it’s an omen a bitch is going to die.
You’re in my world now, Joseph! This sinful killer’s ripping biblical figures to pieces.
Wheel your chariot on Elm Street and you best believe that the dream demon’s beating a believer like Jesus!
Poor, Poor Joseph, nowhere to Go, Go, Go and forced to flow, flow, flow with,
The Nightmare, so Close Every Door from me, but this GOAT’s still spilling blood to leave your dreams coated!
You ain’t been relevant since the 90s, so if you wanna play games with me, I’m endin’ this
I don’t need any accessories for the NES to be the death of this bitch from Genesis

Joseph:
Hm, a pedo with fiendish schemes? I’m not sure what the meaning could be
But that verse was a mess, while I’m spitting sick. I must be inside a fever dream
Been going strong for half a century and I know all about dealing with malevolent men!
My raps are raising the adrenaline, just one shot from me and Freddy’s Dead
Dissin religions but you’re fearing Christians, your nun of a mom beat you worse than Voorhees
Defeated with ease by fearless teens? Your movies are seven ears of corny.
I suffered through slavery, rotted away in a cell, and still lived to tell the tale, oh,
Your right hand’s equipped with shiny blades? I’m the right-hand man of the pharaoh!

Freddy Krueger:
The “favorite child” wants to talk about family relations? Ha! You better quit it.
Your bros got more dough from selling you away than your own show got off of tickets.
That’s right, Englund’s spilling the tea. You only got far by sucking up all your life.
Your owner locked you away for cheating, but the poor slave never even got with his wife!
I’m a horror icon feared across the world. Got kids terrified to even yawn.
You’re a crappy musical for church goers that can’t decide on one style of song.
Your coat got all the color while you’re bland as Rice, so be careful not to delve in my realm
Or else your pops’ll be sobbing when he hears there’s One More Angel in Hell! (Hahaha!)

Joseph:
Figures you’d bring up fathers. Yes, mine favored me the most
But with your own troubling past, how could you even boast?
First, the busting out in the nuthouse, then your adoption was repelling
It makes sense you’d dislike my songs, how your foster father taught you about belting (Ha!)
Your family never forgave you, sent you to your grave, you’ll never know a happily ever after
I’ve got scorching flows like gasoline, it’s game, set, match, for the Springwood Slasher
So keep the Christmas sweater on, Santa Claws, Christ himself is with me till the end
This inhuman monster’s a coward who just got beat by Joseph, amen.

Stay tuned for the next battle. Hope you don't axe-identally miss it.

Freddy Krueger vs Joseph - MC Fawful Rap Battles

(#SPITTINGCHALLENGE2020 Snakebite126) BENNY SPITTING

epic salad fingers spittin aw yea lets go eddie

#SPITTINGCHALLENGE2020 Salad Fingers Verse Dustin

Oh yeah we going to space for this one
Mancha as Sinistar
King Mewtwo as Ego the Living Planet
Beat produced by Tristan on the Track
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Dani Frias 
Written by Trakked, Kamren, ColeDaCole and WDRB

Battle:

Sinistar:
Beware coward, this small villain will fall victim to my hunger 
I’ll throw Sini-bombs at this planetoid; lightyears asunder!
You better Run Run Run! Not even your Alter-Ego can stop me
For my Eternal power shall destroy this puny planet's Galaxy 
It’s a travesty that such a being couldn’t be a strong foe
Beat by a space pirate? That’s what I’d call a fragile Ego
You're a sick minded fraud, went out a Boomer like your status
Not even glitches could rebirth since you've already turned to ashes

Ego:
Tried to scare in the 80’s, yet even with that, computer,
You’re the “star” of a forgotten game; an unoriginal space shooter
If a spacecraft can beat you, then you’ll revel to my power,
Decimated into decimals, never played beyond an hour

Sinistar:
Beware, I live!; And you claim my game is infamous?
I may be the metal boss, but you’re sure picking up rust!
I’ll bust into your core, before you dare fathom to wreck this,
How come you try to take risks when I eat planets for breakfast? 

Ego:
You're just an underpowered entity, a frail-minded Galactus
So I'll trash this scrap metal; I could destroy you with magnets!
Barely shoddy, with my Anti-Bodies swarming 'round this virus,
Deleting all weak-shelled copies of this pathetic bot who’s mindless
Your claim to fame's only a game, while my legacy evolves
No glitches can save you, watch you while all of your lives dissolve
A win trapped in Imaginationland; this pathetic feud is over
And it concludes with me having this star meet a supernova

Sinistar vs Ego - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #12

This is a super passion-oriented project that has been in the works for literally nearly two months, so much so that I wasn't sure it'd release. Partially because I wanted to do these amazing games--especially Phasmophobia--justice, and had a very specific artistic vision that I wasn't sure if I could pull off effectively in the way I'd want.
I'm happy to say that this is finally out. Not to mention I am pretty damn proud of how it came out.
Special thanks to EVERYONE involved in this project. Y'all really carried this shit, not me. If it weren't for the help of amazing VAS, Jacob for the thumbnail and some early beta feedback-givers, this wouldn't be here in the state it is.
And thus, I give you my boldest project yet. Hope you guys like it. :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HyPrmUdW_4P_gRTv5HOIBKNKqmRidNx9hWaWggp4-hA/edit?usp=sharing

Phasmophobia vs. Sign of Silence // Alex's Rap Battles #9

Yo MAMA!!!
Alanon as the announcer
Eric the Audible as Ryu 
JordanShowish as Liu Kang
Written by Trakked, Snakebite and WDRB
Beat by The Unbeatables
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Jordanshowish

Battle:
Ryu:
Came in search for someone worthy, yet a killer monk appears
Raiden's lackey's lacking sense if he chooses to come near
The Satsui no Hado plagues me, but your thoughts plague yourself
You're an outdated copy, a cartridge stuck on the shelf
Best escape with a Bicycle, cause no kick can subdue me
A personality even worse than the ratings on your movies
You should see that fatalities aren't in the wise path
Seems though, you've already succumbed to your side's wrath
Its evident this Revenant's just a blight on fighters
A pestilence that meddles with his fire like a lighter
Killed by your enemy and protector, it's clear you're unworthy
Put down your mic and fight; for no words can hurt me

Liu Kang:
Serving Earthrealm is my duty, but there's no saving your series
All bark and no bite, so you can't battle, clearly.
Droning on isn't my style, I lost interest Mid-Way
Thought I became a zombie again; your raps dulled my brain
While this homeless orphan’s left roaming the world, searching for fights
I’ve won the trophy in every tournament I’ve been in with sheer might
Against the likes of Scorpion, sorcerers, and soldiers of ice
And now I’m scorching this corpse with a fatality on the mic
You've rapped wrong, Capcom's mascot's a disgrace
No impact on other media so you have to save face
I’m the chosen one, a holy son, before you wanna dance
Change your catchphrase to "You must defeat Liu Kang to stand a chance"


Ryu vs Liu Kang. Fighting Game Rap Battles.

Alex the Beast as Machamp
Dani Frias as Galarian Farfetch'd

Machamp:
My opponent’s a lowlife alola- galarian?
Smoke it with no fists, my toe tip could bury him
Pokemon’s GOAT, leaving foes without any limbs
Won’t waste my focus on no vegetarian

Farfetch’d:
Sure, keep insulting me like I’m the weak fighter
Only thing you’re good at breaking’s mirrors, Meat Spider
But if you’re gonna just continue laughing when we brawl
Well, then we’ll see who’s the gag when I evolve
Sirfetch’d:
I’ll strike at this tacky undeveloped sore sissy
With his gigantamax form looking like a gormiti 
Looks to me like you missed boxing 101, so I’d better state
Strapping a geodude to your back doesn’t make you heavyweight
Heh, at this point, Frankenstein should just pack up
With that mug, not even my beak could match up
Don’t wanna get intense cause this feud is petty
I’ll put down my sword and I’ll give you a wedgie

Machamp:
So Flour Power wants to say he’s improved
He just turned into the bad ending of playing with food (ha!)
Face with the ride me eyes, lay down your dying hype
Flimsy and weak, a disgrace to the fighting type
Basically Flying, why you in the first place?
Close to my level? You belong in a bird cage
This joke in the game’s shot at smoking my fame?
Want the answer? You got it in your own fucking name
I’m peak performance, your leek’s your offence
So maybe think twice before you beef enormous
Muscles I’m rocking that make my foes shudder, stunned
Sport Bird’ll wish he accepted the other guns
Squirt you’re a runner up, look at you all huddled up
Ready up a thunder punch, decimate this rubber duck
Coming in to rumble with an onion and some puffing up
Living example of how to speedrun a couple punctured lungs
This is a wild tourney, can you touch me in this state?
I’ve seen more agile birdies on a fucking dinner plate
While I don’t hesitate to leave a foe bleeding grim
There’s a reason I’m the ace in your own region’s gym

Sirfetch’d:
You’ve got no bars when dissing me, quit the bitch fit
Thought your no guard ability meant you didn’t miss hits
I’m the example? Well that just drives me up the wall
If you were a role model there’d be steroids in lunchables
Ooh, bud you stand lesser, not even my ancestor
Bring out all four of ‘em, I’ve seen Hitmonlee throw hands better
500 punches per sec? That’s blowing my mind
Cause last time I checked, your attack’s lower than mine (ay)
I flow in my lines like the flow in my mind when I strike with precision and leave you a sad sight
You flail your punches and fail to touch this, your fighting position’s more fit for a slap fight
It’s a slight stretch to act like Registeel 
Maybe I’ll use your body as my next veggie shield
So you’d better yield, it was a good game though
But it didn’t take a flying move to leave this gym teacher K.O.’ed

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Marsad Men

(#SPITTINGCHALLENGE2020 Snakebite126) BENNY SPITTING

Snakebite126

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