British children's author Roald Dahl battles against American poet, Shel Silverstein to see who is the superior writer.

F00pz as Roald Dahl
Seth W. as Shel Silverstein 
Flowtest by Dustin
Beat prod by Baghira
Mixed by Dustin and Seth
Written by R the Writer 
Chiseled by Legion
Thumbnail by Aaron Peters

Roald Dahl:
When I pen out my bars, they spell doom for this oaf
With sharp rhymes I dine on a poet like a bloath
I created the roots for flicks and tales adored by all
This frail Shel of an Author's left forgotten next to Dahl
I'm the champion here, you're better off as an apprentice
Who excites kids more Willy Wonka or Dan the Dentist?
Reduce a rancid writer's rants, there's no chance of him outflowing me
This missing piece will meet a big L when I shelve his putrid poetry

Shel Silverstein:
I've got the globe in my hands and I'll drop it on faux Carroll
Said to have warm sentiment? Your best tales are kids imperiled
Pit against this trunch-bull spewing twit? I find that insulting
Even in the 80s, your rhymes weren't as revolting
Better get croc tongue, your current effort's fruitless
As your attic light's shot by the vet that's more ruthless
The word profuse describes abuse I'll cast upon this nuisance 
I'm a legendary wordsmith rendering plot rehashers useless

Roald Dahl:
Indeed I wrote revolting rhymes, received better than your rapping
Trying to talk back smack? Now I'll leave your bones blackened
My arsenal of tales, they're whales. A buffet for Melinda Mae.
Impacts everlasting like a gobstobber, still mentioned to this day
Look away, as I harshly outshine this absurd obscurity
You're prone to heart attacks, you'll suffer another assuredly
Stacked up hot garbage, now look at you, you're rubbish
Looks like your comeback is going to be posthumously published

Shel Silverstein:
I'm checkin' out of this fight, see I've just about had it
With this adversary spitting more gibberish than runny Babbit
Fill you with plotholes, I'm a shel-shocker, blasting out warheads
Make your chance of winning this fight spottier than your forehead
Must be bonkers aiming for this like Oscars, you've run Wild
But it's Shel's adult night and I'll be rid of this manchild!
Now let's tell a tale of Dahl, a fool who thought it would appear
As though this was a piece of cake, yet it was the end of his career

(Next Battle: Lions ft.VinnyO)

Check out Seth's album!
https://soundcloud.com/seth-wisniewski-1/sets/i-am-me-2017

Shel Silverstein Vs Roald Dahl - Rap Battle

These two are armed with cold guns and are here to give some cold rhymes. Leonard Snart AKA Captain Cold and Mei from Overwatch. Which of these two can take the cold? That’s for you to decide.

LYRICS:

Captain Cold:
The iceman cometh with cold rhymes to bring an ice age 
Mei’s making many of the players rage when a player picks Mei as their main
And may I ask you this? What made you really think facing me was a good intention?
I’m against killing, especially women, but just for you, I’ll make an exception
There’s no rescue for you here like there was no help for your Ecopoint team 
Hell, even Mr. Freeze’s wife is still alive in cryosleep
That polar storm in Antarctica ain’t shit compared to the cold I bring
Temperatures below zero degrees, even you will be left shivering

Mei:
Qīfu rén! All cause Lenny was raised a wreck
Or perhaps it’s all because you are a villain that everyone forgets
I’m representing Blizzard and I think it clearly shows
While you’re rolling with a team of jokes, have the gall to dub yourselves as Rogues
Your father beat you senseless and it worsened when your grandfather passed
You will make a nice ice sculpture when you’re hit with my endothermic blasts
All this tech and you waste it for just simply robbing banks
When it comes to Flash villains named Captain, I prefer Boomerang

Captain Cold:
Your lines can barely chip the ice, make like Tracer and start running
With nine years of hibernation, you’re not ready for what’s coming
From your ice shell to your ice wall, you clearly show some cowardice
My technology made the fastest man alive fall powerless
You think you can beat a man who’s Cold Gun matched Superman’s laser eyes?
Overwatch fans rarely play you, they care for you cause you’re thicc as ice
I shattered a man’s arm off using the cold air around me
Whenever you hurt someone, you always follow with an apology

Mei:
Snart ain’t so smart, you are just the average criminal
A villain with ice weaponry? That’s not very original
We both specialize in cold but I’m putting the burr in burns 
I’ll do you here like Wonder Woman did to Golden Glider
Our world is worth fighting for just not when it comes to scum like you
You ripped off Mortal Kombat when they changed you in New 52
It’s nothing personal and I’d hate to give the cold shoulder 
But even if you turned up the AC, it’s pointless, this emcee will make things colder

CAST:
B-Lo as Captain Cold
Miss Shellah as Mei

Beat Produced by Tristan

Captain Cold Vs Mei - A Rap Battle by B-Lo

(CONTEXT: https://i.redd.it/sxgappnq4mw11.jpg)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the goofy mutilated murderers: MDHHCD vs Hash-Slinging Slasher

-LYRICS-

Man Door:
(Yo) whatcha gonna do, wave at me with your nub singed?
I got a handle on this battle; Man Door is unhinged
Oh look, more slime to spill down the Krusty Krab walls as usual
Frying and firing this fry cook like a 2nd funeral
My bars have got that secret sauce that you're lacking, huh?
You couldn’t flip a line if both of your hands were spatulas
Speed of Gary when you’re rhyming. Try to run from my sickle
You’re bout as scary as a pirate tryna come for my pickle (ugh)
Hop back on your bus, cuz you best be retreating
Don’t need Nosferatu, I’ll knock your lights out neatly
Let’s hope your verse is like your phone calls: no speaking
I’ll leave you in the dumpster, so good luck… sweaty

Hash-Slinging Slasher
Staying up… at night with THAT verse? Bad decision
But to be fair, it was longer than your story to begin with
How’s a guy with no name or design think he’s not losing?
Both raise our eyebrows: you with fear, me with confusion
Either learn better English or get slayed hard, bitch
If I let you in, be ready for a graveyard shift
And with your hook lodged in the door, it’s time that I sped up
I’m looking to see red like “dude, can I get some ketchup?”
I got your ass sprinting backwards like a gas-thieving bastard
Yo, you’re a trash-flinging rapper, and I’m the Hash-Slinging Slasher
Go back to stealing steres, you copypasta wannabe
I stopped the voice cuz I was nervous you’d keep spitting awfully


Light as Man Door hand Hook Car Door
Commander Jacob as Hash-Slinging Slasher
Zawesome as Ketchup Requester (cameo)
Written by Commander Jacob and Zawesome
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

Man Door Hand Hook Car Door vs Hash-Slinging Slasher | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Video dropping Halloween!

Light as Guts
Fightmarker as Doomguy

Beat Produced by: Audio Network
Written by: Dani Frias
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: Rabi
Old Thumbnail by: SonicSmash
Flow Test by: Dani Frias

Lyrics:

Guts:
This ain’t the hell you’re used to, so I suggest you back off
The Black Swordsman is up against Master Chief only half off
I’m those spider demons you fight and you’re just a simple house bug
So tell me who stomps in this match if your NASA shit pulls the plug
You like easter eggs? Well go have a crack at this
I’ll John Romero this when I get a-head with all your hits
So step to me if you dare, just know it’ll be your last trip
Since my sword will hit the same lips that you’ll use to kiss my ass with

Doomguy: 
East verse west, Guts meets the best
It’s a gunfight, yet you bring swords to compete against
Soundtrack from Mick Gordon with songs that he made from his lip
up fighting worse english than Chinese bootlegs? This’ll be a trip
So let’s get the party going, I won’t leave this battle floored
Griffith fucked your girl first since your dick ain’t big as your sword
Followed by your 2016 show that shouldn't have left the station
I’d say to walk away if I didn’t have to see that animation
Rip and tear through tactics, Guts’ guts will sure be bleeding, 
The ugliest one-eyed motherfucker since the Cacodemon
and it seems you lack cohesion with a new swordsman to switch to
So don’t call yourself the goat, kid, I’ve history killing him too
 
Guts:
My back hurts, but I don’t think I got it from those lines
It’s from carrying my team while yours keeps dying all the time
and keep my name out your mouth like you think you’re some kind of bruiser
Named Doomguy, marine, and slayer, but I’ll truly call you loser
You’re on Falcon’s territory, I’m so fly when I go diss you
Fight with no breaks while you fight Snake over a little shih tzu
You don’t know jack about me, take your vengeance somewhere else and fade
Too bad you’re stuck in hell with none to say you fell down to my blade

Doomguy:
Aww, don’t cry now. Your fans might make that meme again, dude
Sword Art Online took your name and now you’re mad I’ll take your shit too
I’m glad you took your research but let’s note down something well
Between us, who’s the one that actually surpassed through hell?

Guts vs. Doomguy - #6

Hey there! Welcome to the first Rap Battle Brawl Side B! In this episode we have a battle between the Pokémon creepypasta MissingNo, and the mysterious, mystical area in the original Super Mario Bros known as The Minus World.
__________________

Dani Frias as MissingNo

Me as The Minus World
__________________

Written by: Me
Mixed by Dani Frias
Beat produced by: 2Deep
Beat rearranged by: Me
__________________

Lyrics:

MissingNo:
Does this relic really want to battle this Urban Legend?
I should call you Luigi cause you’re coming in second.
The Minus World needs to do the math, you’ll never be my equal.
Since I spit bars that hit harder than your game’s sequel.
This Bird type, Is the Burn Type, when I spit rhymes, you better cower
You can’t light up the track, even if you had a fire flower.
You’re gonna be red, and not able to heal. Melt you with flames like you were made of steel.
After this murder on the track, you’ll know how a Cubone feels.
I’d leave you on the run, but since you weigh a ton, all you could do is walk.
Your chance at victory’s, a bigger mystery, than what’s inside a question block.
You’ve been forgotten by time, while I live on throughout history.
Despite all the shrooms you eat, you’ll never grow as big as me.

The Minus World:
Mamma Mia! This corrupted sprite wants to fight, You’re-a crazy!
You’re relevance is dead, no wonder this ghost can’t phase me.
If you step to this icon, you’ll get stomped out, I’m sorry yo.
You’ll never be-a number one, cause it’s a me, m A r I o...
Your chances to win are thin yo, fans more toxic than Koffing bro.
I’m well known for water, while you’re so sloppy, Imma call you MissingFlow
Just like how you leave batteries, you’re verse was dry, you’re lame boy,
This Tetris Piece is getting blocked, cuz this ain’t your game boy.
Don’t talk shit about relevancy, look at your duration.
You were iconic in Gen 1, then forgotten for generations.
You’re basic, I’m taking the crown, while you’re hardly contending.
The pain I’ll give you is just like my level. Never ending.
__________________

Thanks for listening! See you in the next Rap Battle Brawl!

(OLD AND BAD) MissingNo vs The Minus World - Rap Battle Brawl Side B

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1qwRu6ZbBSI23S6UX_y7b24pC6OxeTit-bKVsnsvZln4/edit
Snakebite126 as Little Mac
Alex M. as Izuku Midoriya
MetaMachine as Doc Louis (cameo)
Written by MetaMachine, Raichous, Kamren the Person, GamingPlush64, FyxFynn and Adam.
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Thumbnail by Rabi
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Self-Reflections"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

Little Mac vs. Izuku Midoriya

(#SPITTINGCHALLENGE2020 Snakebite126) BENNY SPITTING

Oh yeah we going to space for this one
Mancha as Sinistar
King Mewtwo as Ego the Living Planet
Beat produced by Tristan on the Track
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Dani Frias 
Written by Trakked, Kamren, ColeDaCole and WDRB

Battle:

Sinistar:
Beware coward, this small villain will fall victim to my hunger 
I’ll throw Sini-bombs at this planetoid; lightyears asunder!
You better Run Run Run! Not even your Alter-Ego can stop me
For my Eternal power shall destroy this puny planet's Galaxy 
It’s a travesty that such a being couldn’t be a strong foe
Beat by a space pirate? That’s what I’d call a fragile Ego
You're a sick minded fraud, went out a Boomer like your status
Not even glitches could rebirth since you've already turned to ashes

Ego:
Tried to scare in the 80’s, yet even with that, computer,
You’re the “star” of a forgotten game; an unoriginal space shooter
If a spacecraft can beat you, then you’ll revel to my power,
Decimated into decimals, never played beyond an hour

Sinistar:
Beware, I live!; And you claim my game is infamous?
I may be the metal boss, but you’re sure picking up rust!
I’ll bust into your core, before you dare fathom to wreck this,
How come you try to take risks when I eat planets for breakfast? 

Ego:
You're just an underpowered entity, a frail-minded Galactus
So I'll trash this scrap metal; I could destroy you with magnets!
Barely shoddy, with my Anti-Bodies swarming 'round this virus,
Deleting all weak-shelled copies of this pathetic bot who’s mindless
Your claim to fame's only a game, while my legacy evolves
No glitches can save you, watch you while all of your lives dissolve
A win trapped in Imaginationland; this pathetic feud is over
And it concludes with me having this star meet a supernova

Sinistar vs Ego - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #12

Light as Roronoa Zoro
Malina Rose as Erza Scarlet

Beat Produced by: Anywaywell
Written by: Dani Frias and Dargon
Additional Writing Help by: Henry, Oookm, and Creep Switch
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: ColeDaCole

Lyrics:

Zoro:
I feel that I gotta inform those, if you mess with Roronoa, you get torn slow
and Miss Erza Scarlet right here looks like she could just be another dojo 
It's Zoro, me and the Straw Hats finna pull up at your home, so drop the tension
I won't lose to a girl who tries to carry her team by the power of...friendship?
I save trains, so you know I'm running a track,
While you're training now so you can run and attack
I'm better off goin' on without parents than ending up related to a parasite so wack 
Can't destroy the beat without destroying your town
You're lucky that you have me since I'm doing it now
Changing your armor but still look like a clown
While I just need a durag so shit can go down 
So let’s make it clear that I'm Zoro, Miss, leaving my mark like El Zorro, Miss
Should've made your ugly ass the many monsters that you were you able to go solo with
But if you want a match,
Let our swords clash, 
One shank to the chest and your breath's traveled
and in case you still wanna think you'll leave alive, you can check the Death Battle

Erza:
I won't allow getting an inch near me, call me Sanji, I'm gonna cook this man
This vice captain got nice cappin', though, get back on your ship and fix a plan
Got so lost, you showed up on Fairy Tail, I'm just keeping it real between us
I'm firing shots like a Jupiter Cannon, can't be that godly when strung up like Jesus
Don't think you're slashing blades against an S Class to your Worst Generation
I feel pity so you could take my Requip and go turn into not a disgrace and
Get out my sight, please, it's obvious that you'll fall when you fight me, I'd say to bite me
But with that weapon in your mouth it seems that your teeth are the only thing mighty
Got 1, 2, 3 swords but be warned, 'cause you still can't get through me
Don't matter, though.
You'd be too busy using the forth one in your pants to go swordfight Luffy
Like your manga name, you'll take the L, Zolo. But I know you would otherwise
'Cause I'm no girl you can par with, 
I put the scar in Scarlet; 
Best keep a lookout for your other eye

Zoro:
I'm a pirate hunter, while your crew can't pass the sea nor step to me without a beach episode
I won't look out for what you swing at me 
I should be written out of here too like the arcs I'm not in 'cause I'm best in flow
Took Luffy's pain, it didn't hurt as bad as hearing you, it's apparent
Rockin' a wedding dress but we both know you and Jellal still fucked before marriage 
It's best you stop and put those eye jokes to rest, pretty sure yours is faker than your breasts
Straight out the Marines 
So you don't want a war against someone who could leave one giant mess
Must be a slave again 'cause you're not making any cents. 
At least when you were, you weren't asking for this
So I'll help you thinkin 'bout your own funeral again 
‘cause the only dub you'll take is the Miss Fairy Tail Contest

Erza:
Rapping is one of your weaknesses, go kneel down to me and pay respects
Giving you the boot when I'm kicking your nuts 'til your voice ends up higher than Pica's is
I wouldn't say you’re a genius,
It's pathetic that you'll make like Natsu after you've been checked
Give it a rest, I could call you Kuina once you take some steps
Sit down and best watch your language, ay
Slice you like a Jersey Mike's sandwich, ay
Me and my guild won't fall down and give up the crown 
to someone who's been playing outlandish games
But I guess this is where you fail, as it seems that it's too late give me at least some peace
Ironic, I'll have you die to my sword and then you'll be anything but One Piece

Zoro vs. Erza - #7

Villager (AC):
It’s the bro smashin’ ball droppin’ boy throwing pots
Crossing this Animal? You’re the chicken, I’m the fox!
Ask Isabelle, there isn’t a mayor like me—the best!
The only thing you’re good for is all the goodies inside your chests
Don’t take another Pig-step unless into your house to quit
Don’t want to hear any wards coming from this ugly Squid
No-hand-having freak! Find your precious Golem; hide!
You winning this is less believable than Herobrine!

Villager (M):
Huh... I noticed that you’re looking a little perplexed
Enter the Woodlands and all your villagers will be Vex-ed
Crashin’ my Happy Home thinkin’ I won’t put up a fight
Wild World if all you see is talking creatures day and night
Huh! That verse wasn’t worth any of the greens I give!
Outrageous! You’re not teachin’ kids the right way to live!
Your verse was weak and fatigue, mine shines bright like diamonds
After this, I don’t see anything New in your Horizons!

Villager (AC):
Should’ve stayed in bed, fighting this mob isn’t safe!
Calling me outrageous? How ‘bout a quick look at your trades!
My games blew up like a Creeper, while you’re only known from memes
My Creative Survival skills are monuments compared to Steve’s

Villager (M):
Time Traveling? Herr... must be a corrupted seed...
I’ll throw him in a ravine after I’m done pullin’ this weed
Oh my Notch—you block-head! I won’t turn over a New Leaf
This kid cracked from the pressure-plate of this TNT emcee!

Cast:
nEon as The Villager from Animal Crossing
Dani Frias as The Villager from Minecraft
Written by DonivideR
Mixed by SPM1000
Beat prod. by Bob Bradley of Audio Network
Art by DonivideR

Villager vs Villager - Crazy Diss Wars of the Universe

Alex the Beast as Machamp
Dani Frias as Galarian Farfetch'd

Machamp:
My opponent’s a lowlife alola- galarian?
Smoke it with no fists, my toe tip could bury him
Pokemon’s GOAT, leaving foes without any limbs
Won’t waste my focus on no vegetarian

Farfetch’d:
Sure, keep insulting me like I’m the weak fighter
Only thing you’re good at breaking’s mirrors, Meat Spider
But if you’re gonna just continue laughing when we brawl
Well, then we’ll see who’s the gag when I evolve
Sirfetch’d:
I’ll strike at this tacky undeveloped sore sissy
With his gigantamax form looking like a gormiti 
Looks to me like you missed boxing 101, so I’d better state
Strapping a geodude to your back doesn’t make you heavyweight
Heh, at this point, Frankenstein should just pack up
With that mug, not even my beak could match up
Don’t wanna get intense cause this feud is petty
I’ll put down my sword and I’ll give you a wedgie

Machamp:
So Flour Power wants to say he’s improved
He just turned into the bad ending of playing with food (ha!)
Face with the ride me eyes, lay down your dying hype
Flimsy and weak, a disgrace to the fighting type
Basically Flying, why you in the first place?
Close to my level? You belong in a bird cage
This joke in the game’s shot at smoking my fame?
Want the answer? You got it in your own fucking name
I’m peak performance, your leek’s your offence
So maybe think twice before you beef enormous
Muscles I’m rocking that make my foes shudder, stunned
Sport Bird’ll wish he accepted the other guns
Squirt you’re a runner up, look at you all huddled up
Ready up a thunder punch, decimate this rubber duck
Coming in to rumble with an onion and some puffing up
Living example of how to speedrun a couple punctured lungs
This is a wild tourney, can you touch me in this state?
I’ve seen more agile birdies on a fucking dinner plate
While I don’t hesitate to leave a foe bleeding grim
There’s a reason I’m the ace in your own region’s gym

Sirfetch’d:
You’ve got no bars when dissing me, quit the bitch fit
Thought your no guard ability meant you didn’t miss hits
I’m the example? Well that just drives me up the wall
If you were a role model there’d be steroids in lunchables
Ooh, bud you stand lesser, not even my ancestor
Bring out all four of ‘em, I’ve seen Hitmonlee throw hands better
500 punches per sec? That’s blowing my mind
Cause last time I checked, your attack’s lower than mine (ay)
I flow in my lines like the flow in my mind when I strike with precision and leave you a sad sight
You flail your punches and fail to touch this, your fighting position’s more fit for a slap fight
It’s a slight stretch to act like Registeel 
Maybe I’ll use your body as my next veggie shield
So you’d better yield, it was a good game though
But it didn’t take a flying move to leave this gym teacher K.O.’ed

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Marsad Men

(#SPITTINGCHALLENGE2020 Snakebite126) BENNY SPITTING

Snakebite126

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