Jay err’s List

softheart

pinecone

Chemical Imbalance

epic

for kolonka 2

ep2 soon

produced by døves (dovescry.bandcamp.com)
art by reyn yeager (reynyeager.com)
engineered with dylan kim (@ghettoblastersofc)

i’m holding my head, i can’t hold your hand
i already said i wasn’t meant for this

troubled by the emptiness & benzodiazepines
this is fucking atrophy, i feel it
i can’t feel shit, bourbon on my rings
i’m collecting names, setting fire to my insides

put that blade against my tongue, you know i fuck with death
i’ve been pulling powder in my lungs like i’ve got nothing left
angel wings on me, i’m already dead
halos buried with their hymns six feet from my fucking head
and i was in the back during the set
dressed in black, i didn’t get your text
maybe i left you on read (maybe you don’t understand me)
i’m under stress, under slept, i feel the noose around my neck
i feel like i don’t want to live, i feel like i’ve already bled out

cut open, sun poisoned
eyeliner, your rhetoric
a vision, mirages
i’m hollow, nothing at all

you’re poured up, new haircut
(already dead in the benz hit a hundred and five)
no feeling, young and in love
(eighteen forever got blades out i’m ready to die)
eyeliner, your parties
(headlights in my eyes, the darkness eats me up inside)
scar tissue, your skin on mine

youth

Photo Credit: https://vsco.co/sofiavels
Sample Credit: Pale Lungs - Roam

Lyrics:
I still got your pictures on my phone
Wonder why you thought you had to go
Left me all alone and on my own
Felt it coming this whole time I should've known

But why, why'd you have to leave me all alone
You know, how you make me feel when you ain't home
My god, it's killing me inside I hope you know
Been dead in my heart for a while though it hurts won't let it show

No time for farewells and no chances for goodbyes
You disappeared forever and you left me high and dry
How you gonna leave and leave me out here left to die
You fed me to the wolves when I needed you by my side

I don't want to say nothing that's bad about you
I still love you girl I'm still mad about you
There was once a time when I would never doubt you
But people change and now I have to live without you

You could have just said goodbye, you ghosted me moved on with life, anxiety and all this strife, and I wonder all the time if you just found a new guy

I just wanna make you proud
Like I used to when you vowed
To never leave my side when I was down
You let me sink and now I'm boutta drown

I can still see your face I can still hear your voice
And I don't even wanna but I don't have any choice
I try to block it out and listen to the city noise
You kill me from inside and now I'm completely destroyed

But the worst part is I don't know
Where you are or how you are or where'd you go
You didn't say nothing you just let me go
Left me with my thoughts left me all alone

I don't wanna see your face anymore
I don't wanna hear your voice anymore
I don't wanna think about you anymore
I don't hate you I just can't bear it no more

Your hair, your smile, your fingertips
Your face, your voice, your mouth, your lips
Your warmth, your laugh, your legs, your thighs
Your love, your hate, your care, your eyes

proud

FREE DOWNLOAD

heartache

9TAILS - Speed Bumps (Prod. Excedi)

the homie @guccihighwaters

lyrics

(gucci)
I build static
I go crazy
Can't put it out if it doesn't sound amazing
and life's too fast baby hold me till it's over
tell me that you love me maybe once when you're sober
Don't wanna die as a memory
I can't leave without my legacy
Leave love letters lying on my tombstone
death is only physical I'd like to have a new home

Anxiety make my body go numb now
I sleep early withdraw on the comedown 
when I was younger it left me in hunger
but now I'm older 
desire to be under x2

(softheart)
you dont even care like you used to 
you aint even there like you used to be
hard like the usual 
you just give me stares like you're used to me

anxious probably up late
tryna hide my face
tryna bring it back
i was thinking that
life is always moving so fast
before you knew it had passed
doing better still bad

i guess im just scared it wont come
true so i dont think it
i swear its so lonely when its snowing
in new england
thought you called me it was just a 
dream was just a figment
of back when you would hold me 
like the only thing you need is
me 
is me 
is me
hate me you hate me so bad
its over hard to stay sober 
as i get older just grow colder
weed make it okay so i stay stoned
just like a boulder

chorus

anxiety (feat. guccihighwaters)

MUSIC VIDEO:

https://youtu.be/sncR0BS40i0

jealous mess

nothing much

hide the tears

louis V dreams ft. 9tails

wtf im crying (prod. trill skeleton)

wtf im crying

with @guardinmusic @i_x_t_a_i_l_s @sewerperson
prod and mixed: @jakkyboi and @lilpolearm

whatever it takes (feat. guardin & 9tails)

i just wanna skate all night till the moon dies
everybody hate on lilsadeyes thats alright, that's alright
i just wanna crash through the city in a black benz
icy by my side we don't have friends thats alright, that's alright

i won't see 30, fuck i won't see 25
every night i think about my death i wonder why
fuckin up a check i should be writin up a verse
but every line i write it sound like put me in a hearse, baby put me in a hearse

i don't really care if you're not fuckin w me
i don't really care if you got friends over seas
i don't really care if you're not fuckin w me
got that bird on me tee, rip lil peep

i just wanna skate all night till the moon dies
everybody hate on lilsadeyes thats alright, that's alright
i just wanna crash through the city in a black benz
icy by my side we don't have friends thats alright, that's alright

they say time could heal your wounds but that's a fuckin lie
i spend every afternoon inside my room and cry
and every time i hear your voice it always makes me think
about that time you overdosed on all those lines across the sink

i swear to god or something higher, i'm no enemy
fuckin up my life its like i like to waste my energy
thinking we were supposed to be
love ain't fucking real that shit is make believe, 
fuck whoever hate on me
fuck whoever hate on me

i just wanna skate all night till the moon dies
everybody hate on lilsadeyes thats alright, that's alright
i just wanna crash through the city in a black benz
icy by my side we don't have friends thats alright, that's alright

that's alright (prod. avion)

PRODUCED BY CXLD BLXXD
https://twitter.com/CXLD_BLXXD
https://www.instagram.com/prod.cxldblxxd/
https://soundcloud.com/cxldblxxd
https://traktrain.com/cxld_blxxd

LYRICS:
i’ve been longing for ur touch
but it doesn’t seem to mean that much
i reach out to her she gives me love
but i waste it every time
did it even cross ur mind
that i think about u all the time
in a world in which u are not mine
my love id rather die
baby we can talk about it
baby let’s jus think about it
i jus know that ur the one thing
i can’t live without yea
i don’t wanna talk about it
i don’t wanna think about it
i just know that ur the one thing
i cant live without yea

i’ve been longing for ur touch
but it doesn’t seem to mean that much
i reach out to her she gives me love
but i waste it every time
did it even cross ur mind
that i think about u all the time
in a world in which u are not mine
my love id rather die
baby we can talk about it
baby let’s jus think about it
i jus know that ur the one thing
i can’t live without yea
i don’t wanna talk about it
i don’t wanna think about it
i just know that ur the one thing
i cant live without yea

i’ve been longing for ur touch
but it doesn’t seem to mean that much
i reach out to her she gives me love
but i waste it every time
did it even cross ur mind
that i think about u all the time
in a world in which u are not mine
my love id rather die

ur touch *p. cxld blxxd*

why would you say you love me when i know you fucking don’t 
why would you lock the door when i was freezing in the cold
these voices in my head are getting louder, i don’t know,
i wanna kill myself, i think i’m turning to a ghost
why would you say you love me when i know you fucking don’t 
why would you lock the door when i was freezing in the cold
these voices in my head are getting louder, i don’t know,
i wanna kill myself, i think i’m turning to a ghost

i think i'm turning to a ghost
i think i'm turning to a ghost

it’s getting harder everyday, i’m running out of fucks to give
i’ve been all alone so long, i honestly don’t care to live 
i just took like twenty pills, i just snorted fifty lines
i just drank a fifth of jack, baby dare my ass to drive 
i'm smoking dope inside the rain, white mask and i got the blade
there’s a monster in my brain, my mom still thinks that i'm insane
i see your shadows in my room, i hear your voice like every night
i don’t think that i'm alright, i might take my fucking life

i think i'm turning to a ghost
i wanna kill myself, i think i'm turning to a ghost

prod. @m-i-s-e-r-y
written by @lightninglogan

samples from Casper x Dracula

A Ghost Story

MISERY

turning into a ghost [prod. misery]

no one is home (ryini)

how long? (secret stash)

prod/recorded/engineered by me

s/o @daine-lauren for guitar inspo <3

how many days have passed?

so many days that passed
couldnt do a fuckin thing
sit in bed, roll a blunt, think of who i need to be

gotta smoke at least a gram a day to keep my mind straight
guilty pleasures, true love
fightin for my heartache

but ur the only one that has my heart
i never meant to break what we had built

i wish i knew the things i have to say
to even up the score and get u to stay with me for another night

but im the only one there is to blame
u dont need to change a fucking thing
baby girl i know it aint the same
but ur in my heart forever

cant even help
but feel like ill fuck it up today
and u dont see
that my minds all over the place

it aint enough
yeah ur hearts for the latter
fucked up
nothing else even matters

lost in my head
lost ur love
im movin on with that

just addin weight 
to my shoulders
straighten out my back

it aint enough
and ur hearts been shattered
fucked up
nothing else even matters

how many times i told you
that the doors right over there?
gave u signs that u ignored
now u pullin out ur hair

yeah its my fault
my fault
dont put no blame upon urself
too far gone
a lost cause
ill keep them pictures on my shelf

cuz ur the only one that has my heart
i never meant to break what we had built
i wish i knew the things id have to say
to even up the score and get you to stay with me for another night

im the only one there is to blame
u dont need to change a fucking thing
ur perfect in every way
i hope that u realize that someday

youre too good for me
and now ur leaving
keep runnin away
til u stop bleedin
ill be here for you
whenever u need it
you can come back to me
if u ever needed

cant even help
but feel like ill fuck it up today
and u dont see
that my minds all over the place

it aint enough
yeah ur hearts for the latter
fucked up
nothing else even matters

Follow me <3

leaving

Lyrics -

come lie next to me
i'll make it all stop
and i won't say a word
your warmth's all i want
and do you need to dry your tears?
you can use my shirt
concerned from your dismay and desire for what?

don't sleep
don't sleep

don't sleep
yeah i'm sorry that i wanna talk more
and i know i'm selfish
you love it when i walk you home
i hope you ain't scared of me
i won't hurt your soul
your dad knew right from the start
i'd just break your heart

don't sleep
don't sleep

Stream <3

~ Don't Sleep

I PRESENT TO YOU: ASTRO1998.
THANK YOU FOR THE CONTINUED SUPPORT.
I GIVE YOU MY BEST WORK SO FAR.
THANK YOU, AND I LOVE YOU ALL.

SHOUTOUT: 
https://soundcloud.com/itsyungvan
https://soundcloud.com/scottysplash
https://soundcloud.com/sewerperson

ACTRESS//4LIFE W/ SEWERPERSON (prod. GodzaRt And urban nerd beats)

lyrics: https://genius.com/Softheart-growth-spurts-lyrics

Growth Spurts

Follow my IG: foreignforest_

Lyrics:

With my eyes closed
I think I can see the bigger picture
Where I'm supposed to be I'll never figure out
So I don't talk 'cause nobody will listen now
So I just keep my eyes closed
'Cause when I keep 'em open I lose my hope
That's how life goes
Dream until my life goes
When I die I'll be an angel and I'll fly home
Yeah, I'll fly home
x2

Cut me up
Take out all my insides, like a pumpkin
x2

With my eyes closed
I think I can see the bigger picture
Where I'm supposed to be I'll never figure out
So I don't talk 'cause nobody will listen now
So I just keep my eyes closed
'Cause when I keep 'em open I lose my hope
That's how life goes
Dream until my life goes
When I die I'll be an angel and I'll fly home
Yeah, I'll fly home
x2

Listen on Spotify

eyes closed

Follow my IG: foreign forest_

Lyrics:

So what if I act way younger than I am?
Sometimes I'm just like damn
I don't wanna grow up to be like them
I could never work a job again
Moved away once but I missed my friends
Getting caught up, stuck in my head
I don't wanna grow up that shit is dead
x2

Getting back into the swing of things
The positives and negatives my life brings
Like I'm on a rolleracoshter I hold my breath
Gotta keep my hopes up 'cause I'm not dead yet

so what

One Night Pt 2

the intro to the album . 
lyrics soon

production and main guitar by me
drums and some extra guitar by noah walker

Snow Storms In New England

lyrics
--------
why try if it ain't worth it
why lie if you can't do it
why cry with your back to it
i'm fine just a tad stupid
(x2)

record a bunch of nonsense when i'm feelin' nauseous 
gotta play it cautious if she tryna hang
mirror mirror on this wall inside my heart
does falling out of love make a human go insane
i've tried three times, back it up & rewind
look into your green eyes, tell me if i change
baby you a goddess, you so fuckin' flawless
imma fuck him up if he speaks your name in vain

why try if it ain't worth it
why lie if you can't do it
why cry with your back to it
i'm fine just a tad stupid
(x3)

redemption of a lost mess speedin' up the process
by the time that august comes you'll know my name
g-u-a-r guardin yeah i beg your pardon
right to all involvement writing through the day
got my castle in the yard it's kinda fuckin' hard
to stand like i'm on guard when the clouds are seeing rain
so my bedrooms more appealing, suffer through the feeling
cause i know you're leaving gotta act like i'm okay 
 
why try if it ain't worth it
why lie if you can't do it
why cry with your back to it
i'm fine just a tad stupid
(x2)

stupid

916frosty - to the west!

Out My Mind (w/ The Teeta) [prod. by Weckobeats]

main guitar by noah walker!

hope you enjoy, lyrics soon

Game Over

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just happy to be here