prod. caspr
engineered by skrwd
mixed and mastered by Patrick Gardner

I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?
I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?

I just wanna talk about it but you don't hit my phone up
I got too much in my system, fucking throwing up
I've been working every night, just have to count it up
Tell you I miss you, but you don't wanna speak much
I feel so lost when you're not here
I can't fucking sleep when you're not near
I swear I care, but we don't even talk and it's not fair
I've been losing my mind and I'm holding onto you
Trying to figure out a way to give it back to you
Overthinking every word I ever say to you
I'm trying my best, don't know what else to do
I'm so scared you'll leave me here, I worry so much you'll disappear
I just wanna talk about it, you don't wanna talk about it

I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?
I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?

I haven't seen you in weeks, you're not too far from the city
You tremble when you speak and I know it's on me partially
Talk to me softly, tell me that you want me
Laying in my bed, yeah, longing for your heartbeat
When I'm with you it's not so bad but every time you leave, I just get so sad
You're the only one that knows me like that so I'm so scared that you won't come back
You're the roof over my head, eyes got me focused
Every time I inhale your scent, I'm in heaven
You're the one I'm flexin, not even a question
Tell me what's on your mind, maybe it'll kill the tension
We'll be alright, only a matter of time
Even from far away, you're the color of my sky

I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?
I swear I care, I'm feeling lost when you're not here
I just wanna talk about it, can we talk about it?

swear w/ skele (prod. caves)

'87 Benz
I just sit back, I hit the gas
Ride through the wasteland broken down buildings and piles of trash
I moved as far away as I could to get away from the past
I'm just a scavenger looking for copper and metal to scrap
And I don't wanna be that, but I don't wanna be that
Pack up my bags like don't worry I'ma be back
Can't find no home I can't find anywhere that I wanna be at
Home's where the heart is but I'm fucking heartless so that don't mean jack
Kill my throat from all this nicotine and vapor I inhale
I never used to but this stress got me not doing well
Work so much but this self motivation it can be hell
I roll my mary and I just put myself up in a spell
My weak brittle bones, I need phosphorus
I just need some love but I can't foster it
And i do what I love but I just lost the bliss
They only show the love when it’s posthumous
Tell me it means
Tell me it means
Tell me your train of thought when you shut yourself off from me
Save it please don't talk to me
Please don't talk to me
I don't know what it was but something's been off with me
And I don't wanna be that, but I don't wanna be that
Pack up my bags like don't worry I'ma be back
Can't find no home I can't find anywhere that I wanna be at
Home's where the heart is but I'm fucking heartless so that don't mean jack

phosphorus (with brody)

produced by hiraeth


and the wall still comes down
steady running where we are 
we'll break down
and no one ever wanted her 
we know now
every brick is in our heart 
we fall down

wall (we'll) break down

izalith

Idektho (prod. sorrow bringer)

everyones an asshole 
my plug cuts his coke and my doctor pushes benzos 
my head smacked the floor when i tripped off my board
skating round the halls cause my parents aren't at home
today ive been bored
today i woke up at 4
needed stuff but got too high to drive to the store
at the checkout said "how are you?"
i said "not much"
on my way out i tripped and my thing of eggs crushed

dont be ashamed to be proud of yourself or slow down for a sec 
i say as i quietly critique parts of myself 
i guess i just keep helping so i wont need help
but regardless it helps

can you tell me we're good now?
you left me put down
bad is my good now
when i cry it's a good sound 

(hamilton)
cut it all out
take it all away
i dont wanna feel 
no not today 
numb to the pain numb to it all
hanging by a thread i might fall
i might slip 
lose my grip 
tryna find out where the time went
where it all goes
i dont know
i can only walk the path i chose 
build me up just to break my bones
crushing up drugs on my phone
tryna fix my heart but it got worse
every time i fall in love it hurts
every time i try to not think bout you it dont work
maybe im just meant to be alone with the dirt
but maybe its just meant to be 
i get so high i cant speak
walking round cant feel my feet
when i sleep i grit my teeth
when i sleep youre all i see
so every nights a bad dream 
i dont wanna wake up
just to feel nothing

when i cry it sounds good (with hamilton and sorrow bringer)

chapter i

produced by ztope
completely non profit

lyrics

filtered beams of moonlight 
passing thru the ice above
i cannot bear to take my eyes 
off of my drowning love
why she had to follow me
why she had to jump
shes drowning in this lake
man cold water makes u numb

makes u numb
hit my head on rocks below
blood
blood fills the water oh my god
god cannot save us
oh we're fucked
fucked
sleeping on this bed of rocks
shadows of the trees
they dance on ice thats 3, 4 inches thick
is that lantern light
i ask her body what the fuck she thinks
this our savior 
and i hope he drags us up or else we'll sink
please just save her
i do not care if im on the brink

filtered beams of moonlight 
passing thru the ice above
i cannot bear to take my eyes
off of my drowning love
why she had to follow me
why she had to jump
shes drowning in this lake
man cold water makes u numb

it makes u drown

drowning at the bottom of a frozen lake (ztope)

produced by taurs

and it’s cold here
so grab your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

and my head spins
when we are together 
you never show me love, 
despite that, you’re so special to me 
got ugly eyes, im not the guy you fell for
but i could try my best 
if you give me a chance and don’t leave 

callin, callin callin again
why the fuck are you still stalling?
those texts you left unread 
i can’t avoid the hole, i fall in
fall in to the abyss 
my chest caves in when you call me 
the one that you regret 
i’m so tired of ur shit

and it’s cold here
so bring your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

you were the cruel type
i know you hate me you didn’t have to say it two times ): 
i can’t stay here anymore
my veins are blue, i
guess i’ll just lay here in the snow and watch the moon rise

ugly eyes (taurs)

everything by me
been working on a lot
seriously way more to come
hope you enjoy. 
thank you so much for listening.
your support means beyond any means to me.

i know i can't keep killing me off slowly
putting my dreams behind me
i find it so damn unlikely; 
remind me
quiet lifestyle, but defiled by this thoughts of mine
memories are heaven
'till you are what you forgot in time
don't care..
you don't care
you don't care, anymore.

i can see appeal
conflicted with the feeling
a burden on myself
it feels like i just killed me
get over that hill
down another cup of coffee
relive how it felt
to think, see, hear, and feel nothing

over-sensitized and ill
aye, when's it my turn to heal?
insinuate that better place you've always dreamt of only kills
until we fall and call it quits
by stone or gun that don't exist
i was here for all of this
(i was here for all of this)

i know i can't keep killing me off slowly
putting my dreams behind me
i find it so damn unlikely; remind me

how i got here, and who i am to stand by
'cause with fragile ears and hearts,
we've always been paralyzed, paralyzed
no wonder, why.

(killing me off slowly)
(putting my dreams behind me)
(i find it so damn unlikely)
(remind me)

all of this

i rly thought i was dead for a minute there lol

Too Crazy

gone (prod. riplucky)

nothing much
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just happy to be here

phosphorus (with brody)

Softheart