lyrics:
girl ill be right here drowning in my pain
hope you fucking feel it when you hear my name
yeah but whyd you have to go make me feel insane
all this fucking mental anguish all thats in my brain

i dont give a fuck you can blame me
ima push my luck with this codeine
hope im never waking up so i stay sleep
if you wanna keep me here gotta make me

frosted windows, give way to the light
of mornings so cold think ill curl up and die
ill go back to sleep cause i dont wanna fight
another day living this cycle of life

im never alright, im not coming home
ill stay out all night, puke blood on the floor
ill damage myself, and ill rot to the core
im breaking inside dont want to anymore

Make Me

make me

prod. nevrfall and branwen  
@nevrfall 
@branwenmusic

i take this small one and bend 
its like this battle dont got a end
i can get so in my head but still fuck what they say 
i dont know you and you not my friend
i know that i said i wouldnt get fucked up today
but look at me here i am 
i always end up just going the opposite way
if they try to tell me that i cant 
ill do that shit just to spite you and laugh
fuck out my face bout that i give a damn
i dont know you i dont trust you thats facts 
that shit is just how it is 
i would change it if i could but i cant
i let the world try to make me abandon myself
just to be something for them 
just to be something for somebody else

i push away
everything because i need help
bleed out
on the tile i left a big puddle
i love something
and it gets me into big trouble 
do u need enough 
all these tests i hope i bleed enough 
i left that old part of me where 2016 was 
reasons 
i dont need to ever speak of
leave me 
in a big clump
ima big cluts 
bleeding 
from these thick cuts
i can get rid of 

when i stretch
and this conflict eats me to my bone
cant this toxic world leave me alone 
its ingrown 
if its wrong 
let me reap what i sow

dont go closing your eyes
you never know whats gonna wanna come n hurt you right
and when your outside keep some sort of weapon close to your side
im so sick of hearing bad news somebody died 
and it goes like 
dont go closing your eyes
you never know whats gonna wanna come n hurt you right
and when your outside keep some sort of weapon close to your side
im so sick of hearing bad news somebody died

dont go, closing your eyes

love song 4 the ghost i see in my room sometimes 

original beat by killedmyself (chopped and pitched)
additional violin by my good friend Mohini 

its not somethin else
its exactly whats the most obvious
its so easy to tell
and im no good at hiding it
its rly not that hard to figure out
the obsessions not mutual 
i know u like me but not as much
i wanna be what you think about
i cant help but fall in one sided love 

and im stuck in it  
i get so dumb in it 
there might be something
to make me feel more whole 
somehow 
your touch that feels like home 
but then u cast me off and i end up more alone
strung up
im just a puppet
u can make me dance 
im happy to perform 
in ur bed
im nestled up and warm
hoping 
the night can last more long 

ive been numbed up i dont feel it 
i dont feel the touch im too hollow
can u help me get more human 
maybe some emotions to borrow 
i think im the worlds best escapist 
back then i just didnt wanna exist
so i buried my head in the sand
look at all the time i wasted

. . . . .

when im in your arms it felt so warm like home

Made a puppet
That paper mache's now cracking
In the ocean
These waves keep pulling me deeper
It's a teacher
It's a book in how both sides open
Waves crashing
I swam down and just said fuck it 
Years are passing
Like a flashes when I get past 'em
In the fountain
I'm sinking but i'm not drowning 
In the mountains
35 miles from where the border is
In the ocean
saw blackness and i swam towards it
In the whirlpool, I move through the endless darkness
In the hourglass, I watch as it turns to nothing
In the pitch black, big waves pull me in by force now
In the vortеx, I fall back out to the surface

03 and the view from the bottom of the ocean

violin at the end is by my friend mohini!!

bloodmachineXD

Hiding In The River

guitar and drums done by noah walker @mr_innervue

Stranger.demo (2021 version)

i reach, for air
i'd scream, but the sound's not there
i wait for a wake
right around when i jump from the brink

draining all the joy out
seem always annoyed now
constantly devoid, how the moment pales my skin
had it sorted out,
now my soul's just sore, ouch
they say i'm a solider,
i just never peek my head out of these trenches

nothing's really here for me
it hurts to laugh
it hurts to speak
there's nowhere else i'd rather be,
than put at rest with nobody
if time should wind a single hand,
then who am i to reprimand
the data flow that leads my stand
of former thoughts and severance

met with bloody stares
spirit broke the mirror
tumbled-down eyes glare
"it always could be better"

the toad in my throat drowning notes 'till they're gone
if they crash, should they float to return to this pond?

if i'm stood a stance of lax
consider that form of attack
procrastination ticks away until delay becomes a gift
given all i am is shit
sat distraught over some bricks
counting melodies won't counter how i feel when nothing sticks

i reach, for air
i'd scream but the sound's not there
i wait for a wake
right around when i jump from the brink

draining all the joy out
seem always annoyed now
constantly devoid, how the moment pales my skin
had it sorted out,
now my soul's just sore, ouch
they say i'm a solider,
i just never peek my head out of these trenches

trenches

She sits amongst the lilies. Being as beautiful as one herself....

The Constant Gardener

🎤 Original song by Kranical.
🌎 Rawtrex: http://rawtrex.com/

Rawtrex

I Still Remember

some guitar n stems by cisco
@waitingoncisco

Cynic Little Cycles (with waitingoncisco)

nothing much
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just happy to be here

when im in your arms it felt so warm like home

Softheart

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