I saw you again 
For the first time in ages 
You looked just the same 
But you sounded so different 
Your manner of speaking and 
The tone of your voice 
Were so changed. 

If I were a bird 
I’d have fluttered away 
But as I don’t have wings 
I was required to stay 
In my place at the register 
Ringing you up 
In the most awkward way 
In that stupid café... 

I saw you again 
For the first time in ages 
You looked just the same 
But you sounded so different 
Your manner of speaking and 
The tone of your voice 
Were so changed. 

And I’d never seen that shirt before 
And I’d never seen that bag before 
And I shouldn’t want to see you more 
Often, but I do... 

And I’d never seen that scarf before 
And I’d never seen that hat before 
And I shouldn’t want to see you more 
Often, but I do, I do, I do... 

It’s been a whole year. 
It’s been twelve whole months. 
The innumerable minutes— 
I counted each one. 
In a manner of speaking 
I still really love you 
And I can’t get you, can’t get you 
Out of my head. 

I’ve spent all this time 
In extensive reflection 
And in my recollection 
The things that I said 
Were gratuitous 
In their emotional content 
And I’m sorry 
If saying them scared you away. 

I shouldn’t have acted the way that I acted 
I shouldn’t have called you 
I should have retracted 
The things that I said 
At the moment I said them 
Or better yet 
I should’ve never been born. 

I should have retracted 
The things that I said 
At the moment I said them 
I shouldn’t have called you 
I shouldn’t have acted the way that I acted 
I need to be punished 
I need to be punished 
I need to be punished 
I need to be punished... 

Every thought inside my head 
Is suddenly exploding; 
Every object in my room 
Is suddenly too dull; 

Everything I feel inside my heart 
Is fully inappropriate; 
Every object in my room 
Is suddenly too dull... 

There’s only a window there 
Only a window there 
Only a window, only a window 
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

There’s only a window there 
Only a window there 
Only a window, only a window 
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

... 

There’s only a window there 
Only a window there 
Only a window, only a window 
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

There’s only a window there 
Only a window there 
Only a window, only a window 
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

There’s only a window there 
Only a window there 
Only a window, only a window 
(You can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it) 
There’s only a window, only a window, only a window, only a window there… 

I close my eyes and 
In my memories, 
I’m drowning in your coat; 
I’m gathering the leaves that fall... 

In my memories, 
I’m drowning in your coat... 
I’m just jumping in the leaves 
that 
fall....

credits
from A Troubled Piece of Fruit, released 23 July 2012 

Stephan Nance, piano/vocals
Tim McLaughlin, bass/guitar

Stephan Nance — Fall

I itch all the time. Deep beneath my skin.
where the bone sits, enshrined in flesh, I feel it. Something, not moving but that wants to move. Wants to be free. It itches, and I don't think I want it. I don't know what to do.

indie chamber pop (bardcore)
pronouns: they/them

Stephan Nance — Fall

Sparkbird