i dont notice but u take it away
i know thats evil in nature
i dont try to play that game
i ate the meds but u took it away
why r u so evil to me 
am i fucking stupid
am i bout to od cause i swear
im barely moving
in my body like its narcan
u laughing like you blew it
if u see my <3 stop
listen to the music
can i find my soul in my life
dont need a movie
take it like a picture
on the wall where i put it
you can't save it like your image
you had to spoof it
#9 wearing faggot
i just know you' re a loser!
u can stay in ur delusion aah
fucking say it u js ruin it
aaaaaa
and now im never fucking over it
bc of u
always gone but now im sobering
ye it is something new !

narcan

[fall 2024]

prod @yumenikki

i could never do wrong
didnt think id really fuck up
i would never get lost
lay awake till the suns up
i was falling out of love
didnt really mean to hurt you
but you took so much
watched my wings slowly turn black

i will never get my soul back
now im walking down the wrong path
i lost friends i wont get back
i lost friends i wont get back
i wish i could just forget you
i wish i could take it all back
now im ruined cuz i let you
all my fault, yea i know that

i just get left on read
make me feel lesser than
fake life i play pretend
fake thoughts inside my head
i like to cut myself
try to get lost again
i dont need any help
rock bottom is in my bed

rock bottom is nodding off
so hard i lose my breath
unconscious almost dead
wake up and see your face
youll look so terrified
ill feel so dead inside
pinpoint dots in my eyes
but ill still want to be high

pinpoint eyes prod. dollmaker

cant make this right (lb66 + skoolio)

and all it takes is one shot
broke down deaths door like its fucking swat
dont know who it was you thought
i wish i could make the world stop
i can see through it i can hear it all
i fear myself cause im not here at all
lying breathless, tears fall
until death, ill be here until the break of dawn

viruses encoded
endless permutations
up the dosage
threats of radiation
ready locked and loaded
guarded at the station
diagnosis state im in, repulsive
starburst glints emanate from my necklace
 starting to think that this search will be endless
 hard to admit that this life will be restless
ejected
you’re not on the guestlist

this a circle you dont step in, deadzone
blood up on the pavement like its redstone
slash him with the blade now hes a headstone
yo bitch gon occupy my space turn it celestial
red dots on his face like its some freckles
yea ill find a way to make it work
ima put em six feet in the dirt

world stop

prod @rubbishrubbish

i dont wanna be alone again
i always end up like this
its always my fault
i lost control
let it all go
let it all go
i am poisonous stay away
legs restless so i stay awake
im used to this pain
useless, insane
always afraid
always afraid

instant attachment its dog life
redid the flow now its godlike
i can buy you anything u want like
i dont wanna die
hours i cried
sad so i roll and fuckin spark up
hate it when im wrong im fucking stuck up
if i dont know you shut the fuck up
i got bad luck
i do bad stuff

all this shit i do is really fucked up
i cant fuckin stop self destructing
such a bad habit that its part of me
please im dying
just need one thing
lie to you again i feel disgusting
how can i expect you to trust me
hold me fucking once and i start crushing
but you dont love me
you think im lusting

you assume i dont have real feelings
that i just play with u to feel things
you know nothing bout the pain that i deal with
i feel real shit
it just hit quick
mixin up the molly like some bisquick
feels like nothings ever gonna fix it
so much trauma i cant even list it
i dont fit in
not realistic

poison_2 prod. rubbish

This song is really meaningful to me and marks my move from NYC to Denver
Produced by me and @youshowedmewhatloveis 
thank you for the guitar!!

lyrics

[@sprigtek]

There was Peace before…
Can we go back
our world is waning, 
I’ve been feeling trapped
With these memories
Breakfast and tea
Movies we watched
And the way you held me
Everyones leaving
How can one last?
Its awfully uncommon
Given my past

Cranberry oatmeal
Watching you read
Books that I gave you
and books you gave me

Friends you had shown me
Ones ill forget
Biding my time in a half empty bed

In a Forest of trees without leaves
at a corner where we used to meet
at a flower shop, flipping a coin,
at the airport, missing the point.

[@youshowedmewhatloveis]

am i wasting my breath?
it starts to feel like it i guess 
let the words spill out my chest
i wish we could lie here instead
(ooohhh)
it wont be long and u know 
i claw at my skin and it shows 
(just) a break in my step not a fall
though not far from the ground below

i scratched my arms ceaselessly
u blame it on my compulsivity 
but then say something sweet 
and everything disappears around me

[both @sprigtek and @youshowedmewhatloveis]
so ill take some time 
with you to watch the world spin around 
while we still can

end

missing the point + gosha

said it

prod @jolst @taylor

@stellathepixie
when ur alone 
put ur hands up for me 
tell me what you know
say it with ur body
it’s all about u
it’s all about us
i don’t blame u 
ur just crying in the club

love me a little 
love me a lot 
i’d never take away something you love
so many miles
that’s between us 
but you get prettier with every one
hate other people
don’t give a fuck 
testing my limits on feeling your touch 
i’d smile but it’s so bad
you can have fun i like that 

@creepybuggirl
ur long sleeves
wrapped around me
i can’t help it but to get this feeling
softly
hold me
i can’t take it anymore
don’t know what to say now
i look at the floor
avoid ur face and think how i want more
but what’s the reason
does there always have to be one

crying in the club ft. creepybuggirl & emorave (jolst taylor)

prod me, written in spring 2025.

LYRICS:
i dont work alone  
wont it just fall apart like it always did
always six deep everywhere i fuckin go
know i said im sorry im not sorry when i split

gotta try so fkin hard to exist  
i was poppin pharma shit i couldnt resist
i cant really swim without you in the fkin mix
tired of opiates tired of waking up sick

really tired of that really sick of this
i cannot go back, i just really miss 
want it so bad, want it like a fix
feel like this forever, i need always bliss

want it to be over i want it to end
i dont wanna write i just wanna go to bed
really really try but i cant make us connect
laying in the dark reminiscing in my head

six deep

@emorave :) <3
prod taylor morgan + shinju

Say you didn’t notice
Take it back 
then i left with your heart broken
My bad :(
I couldn’t explain my emotions
It’s sad
I’ll get better and i know this,
Cause i have

You were honest,
I went to the pond and thought about it
Reflecting to my core, present harnessed
To have you by my side is the best
I wanna touch your skin and kiss your neck
Everything i say, i meant


emo:

oh yuh
dont go, yuh
i cant be alone, yuh
west, thats where i wan go

dont act like you know shit
all them pills had me broke, shit
fell in love with opiates
now im up cuz kicked that shit

i dont wanna be here, shitt
it can all go downhill so quick
i wanna be more than this
dont ask bout it cuz im over it

downhill (taylor morgan + shinju)

[Verse 1]
I swore I had the map in my hands
But all the bridges burned themselves down
And I can’t stand the way the mirror looks back
Another lonely night where I sink into the static (get it together)
Fade into the blankets, whisper, it doesn’t matter
I don’t care if the sun shows up
This weight’s enough
Got a suitcase heart and I’m testing my luck

[Pre‑Chorus]
Cliché yeah, another quiet meltdown
Highways humming, pulling me along
I’m begging for a break even if I’m far gone
Don’t wanna say goodbye, but the night feels endless

[Chorus]
How do I learn to love myself when the world feels out of phase?
Is anyone around to watch me drift down?
Don’t reach I've been sinking in my own sound
Why do I even try? What a wasted fight
Gotta shake this echo in my mind
Feel the dirt crawl over me alive
I’m running out of light

[Verse 2]
I wear a cold face now, please don’t ask questions
Stumbling through the city like I’ve lost connection
Nothing makes sense, paranoia in my chest
Try to drown the ringing, but it spreads
All these trembling emotions
Something’s gotta bend
These words are wilted, fading as they’re spoken
I scream into the open
But no one hears the end

[Pre‑Chorus]
Feels like I’m spinning nowhere fast, same old story
Every day repeats, painted dull and boring
Pulling at the seams from the inside
Don’t wanna say goodbye, but the night feels endless

[Chorus]
How do I learn to love myself when the world feels out of phase?
Is anyone around to watch me drift down?
Don’t reach I've been sinking in my own sound
Why do I even try? What a wasted fight
Gotta shake this echo in my mind
Feel the dirt crawl over me alive
I’m running out of light

Why do I even try? What a wasted fight
Gotta shake this echo in my mind
Feel the dirt crawl over me alive
I’m running out of light

echo

credits are in every song description, mostly self produced <3