circa — June 2023
updated — May 2025

When I said I love you did I say it in a bad way, in a wrong way, in a bad way
(I've always thought about us together anyway, I know you love me can you tell me so that I know)
When I say I love you I mean it I'm not kidding, you do the cooking while I put away the dishes, uh huh
I hope those words mean anything to you, when I'm not with you the world seems so blue, uh huh
(Dreaming about how you were in my arms yesterday, and like always you threw my life away)
Eighteen years I've been living I've never met someone like you, someone like you
(I'd never thought I'd just be dreaming my life away, dreaming about how, bout how, bout how, bout how, bout how, bout how)
And like always you threw my life away

Stream

(plays are botted)

prod.me

i look outside the box
don't know where to start
ask me how i feel 
i feel spectacular
lost track what u want?
don't know who you are
so ask me how i feel
spectacular 

that's enough to kill the bitch
stuck inside my room
i don't give a shit
more time to myself
ima make a hit
yea my mom said i'll make it
IMA MAKE THIS SHIT

i look outside the box
don't know where to start
ask me how i feel 
i feel spectacular
lost track what u want?
don't know who you are
so ask me how i feel
spectacular 

stand on what you said
take a new approach 
if you look outside the box
you can see me
fuck what you said and meant
i don't care at all
i'm like oh my fucking god i don't mean it

but if i said i did 
would it change a lot
i'm like come on what the fuck 
i didn't break your arm
its so simple its a joke
i never got this far
and i'm sorry if i hurt you
i just care a lot

-tacular
ask me how i feel
i feel spectacular 
-tacular 
-tacular
spectacular 

i'm tryna do this shit for too long
it better work out
i've tried to hit the ball too far
now there's no sound
they tryna take me down i said 
FUCK YOU
HOPE IT WORKS OUT
i've got the best feeling 
it's somebody i know 
i hope you get well

stand on what you said
take a new approach 
if you look outside the box
you can see me
fuck what you said and meant
i don't care at all
i'm like oh my fucking god i don't mean it

but if i said i did 
would it change a lot
i'm like come on what the fuck 
i didn't break your arm
its so simple its a joke
i never got this far
and i'm sorry if i hurt you
i just care a lot

spectacular

cover photo by @zzoos
samples works by @vaultofsecrets854
--------------
(where are you, where are you)
oh i cant say i feel the same as you
what do you want
its irrational, a place not meant for two
what are you on

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
lets make the most
before youre gone

will you think of me?
oh, i hope not
i pull the petals off, loves me not

love me, love me not
i dont care when im in your thoughts
and as i watch you rot and decay, i feel invincible
oh its all that i want

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
lets make the most
before youre gone

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
please dont come back
lets make the most
before youre gone

ill die all over again

love me, love me not

i hope this has made up for all of the time i HAVENT been here! i love all of yall and thank you for sticking around for here! everything here is unfinished i think
1st: signature (demo)
2nd: default
3rd: opus
4th: disregarded once more

a beautiful homonym of a flower

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1JAV46oTdV7Z05cJZIF0ac?si=67e499cfa1f6436c

lyrics:
i know your starving in heaven 
i know your starving in heaven
are we all meant to die (die)
are we all meant to

stop!
are you a fan of a person you dont like
if you cant stand closing the curtains when its night 
and i cant tell if im doing this all right 
and i cant tell if you're doin alright 

(stop) i got 24 missed calls inside my inbox
too many gamma rays around me need to detox
you got me trapped inside your springlocks (springlocks)

(stop) cus im so constantly worried like "what do they think about me" "am i not interesting" 
its getting harder to sleep without you
you said its only me but why am i counting two

i know you're different when there's no one in sight 
you cant help but bring me to life
(bring me to life)
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life

well what do you think 
why you so bad
you've done terrible things
you ain't the one to change cus you've never been

i know you're different when there's no one in sight 
you cant help but bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life

(i cant believe you, i cant believe)
(i cant believe you, i cant believe)
(i cant believe you, i cant believe)

bring me to life

love is such a beautiful motivator, isn't it?

signature

art: @xaev 
prod.me 

she said it's cold but i wanna 
hear the wind outside, and i'll 
act like it's my birthday but
i'm not alright

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

she said it's cold but i wanna 
hear the wind outside, and i'll 
act like it's my birthday but
i'm not alright

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

i don't wanna die
it's only sometimes
she says that i'm fine
it's all in my mind
i don't wanna die
i don't wanna die
it's only sometimes 

close my eyes and i'll see

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT
I HATE GAIN AND LOSS 
I'VE LOST THE WHOLE PLOT!!!!!!!!!!

close my eyes and i'll see.

gain & loss

God's Middleman
*************************
Lyric video: https://youtu.be/BPQGXMA15Ok

I see shit that u cant see
Stop pretending that ur better
Ur a human just like me
Im perfecting every letter
I am shit that yall cant be
I got shit inside my head got shit that most yall wouldnt believe
Im planning 15 years ahead
I know exactly where im gone be in 10 years and 10 years after that
Just play this when im 18 man yall gone lose ur fucking head
If i stop making art man call the cops cus i am dead

Gotta trust the process gotta trust the art
U can make shit that no one else can
Gotta trust ur soul, gotta trust ur heart
Shit aint always gone land, be ur biggest fan and realize this shit go hard
Cus if ur like me then u aint got shit to lose and u gotta shoot for the stars
Gotta know deep down that u the shit
Fuck a number this is a hit
Give a fuck what they say, give a fuck what they think
Beauty's in the smaller things
Fuck dms, stay dropping links
Who the fuck u rlly doing this for
Who the fuck could really help
Why cant u do this for urself

Man it makes me sad yall dont believe in urself
Cus that feeling deep inside ur gut man that shit is real as hell
Thats ur angel and ur muse and they guide ur art and they try to help
The universe cant be beautiful without asking for help
If its real inside ur head
Ur not crazy, ur unique
If u lie awake in bed
At night, and u just cant sleep
And ur doubting thoughts and ideas and wether ur even artist
Just know that u are cus real ones be thinking bout that shit the hardest

I see shit that u can't see

Tekk für dich und deinen kranken Kopf 🤯
Socialmedia:
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[Tekk] Chihiro Remix

Generosity Error

BPM Achterbahn

sup im jackson SUP HOWDY THERE

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signature

ssoh