im gonna kill myself this is a year old??

guess i wasnt ready for the fight that u brought again

guess i wasnt ready for the battle to be fought again

self produced
follow decks: @decksmusic
cover art taken by decks
lyrics

getting back to my feet standing up again
guess i wasnt ready for the fight that u brought again
said i was the one that u want can u want again
im been trying hard but im ending up distraught again
guess i wasnt ready for the battle to be fought again
guess im just relearning all the lessons ive been taught again
i can only take so much that ur throwing at me
when ur angry it feels like 100 degrees

decks:
when ur mad no i can’t take the heat
i just back down fallin onto my knees
i dont wanna be a problem babe im beggin please
im retracing all my steps and now its hard to breathe

so i fucked up
pass time cuz im done up
second chances arent free but i could earn em
suns up
wake up early cuz the funs up
out of time baby im not what u wantttt

100 degrees w/ decks

I'll waste my time if it's wasted on you
I don't wanna sink alone
And your not mine but you're so damn fine
Why does it feel right when it's so wrong
I'm stuck inside my head again
Think I need my medicine
Ashing on your windowsill
I'm hardly making any sense
Saying things I never meant
And you're so filled up with regret
Tell me what the fuck is next
Cause your someone I can't forget

Ooo
Ooo
Guess I gotta let you go
But tell me why the fuck is it always my fault
They always break my heart
And I never know the cause
I can't handle new scars
So I'm always running far

I'm always running from
Those things you say you want
Picking up again
I got a brand new scar
Got a brand new heart
Come and take it all
Leave me hurt again its probably all my fault
It's always all my fault
I fucking hate those songs
I'm losing everything i'm breaking
I don't want you gone
Tell me anything that I can do to make it stop
I been waiting here alone for fucking way too long
So tell me all about how you been waiting for it
I wanted innocent love you wanna leave me damaged
So tell me all about how you been waiting for it
I wanted innocent love you wanna leave me damaged

Ooo
Ooo
Guess I gotta let you go
But tell me why the fuck is it always my fault
They always break my heart
And I never know the cause
I cant handle new scars
So i'm always running far
Don't know what I need but I know what I want yeah yeah
Still feel empty nothings enough gotta get it all I know

ALWAYS MY FAULT

spotify

ALWAYS MY FAULT w/ ghoul_001 [lilbiscuit]

Babe you’re like the stars on the drive home
The ones that give you hope when you’re all alone
They replace all of the love that you couldn’t show
I might crash the car but you wouldn’t know 
You can’t tell me it ain’t something I said back to you
In the heat of the moment while my face turning dark blue 

Why you puttin up a fight 
Always say you love me but you never stay the night 
I’ve been dancing with the devil baby I might take my life 
Got a rope around my neck baby it’s hard to breathe alright 
Everytime you tried to hurt me was it always out of spite 
So fucked up, nauseas, stomach hurtin 
Tried to write you all these songs can’t get the words in 
I can’t stop shaking baby you make me so nervous 
Everytime we fall in love you leave me hurtin 

If I crashed tonight I know you wouldn’t care 
I keep dyin in my dreams blood everywhere 
Yellow tape around the scene you can meet me there
Broken, blood on the floor you cut me open
All the lies make your words worth nothing 
Tongue tied no I don’t like talkin
Saw her face now I can’t stop fallin
In love again I lost my mind 
Don’t know where it went 
I think of the days and the nights we spent 
Remember every second no I can’t forget 
No I can’t forget 

Babe you’re like the stars on the drive home
The ones that give you hope when you’re all alone
They replace all of the love that you couldn’t show
I might crash the car but you wouldn’t know 
You can’t tell me it ain’t something I said back to you
In the heat of the moment while my face turning dark blue

u wouldn't even notice :( w/ hamilton [prod. noahmadethiss x jolst] *LYRICS IN DESCRIPTION*

if this is heaven [irby x recyclebin]

two faced//kennedyxoxo

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

ghoul_001 - 2007 w/ scapegoat [kaktus X odece]

hey, woah
you look so much better than i thought you would
i know i could have helped and i know i should
have been there when you needed me most
so stay close
i just can't bear the thought of you going ghost
on everything we built and the roads we took
doesn't that sound like the best?
'cos i've been staring at a little piece of heaven in your eyes
and i look beyond the arch and see the devil in disguise
and it hurts when you matter the most
and it kills me when you leave me alone
and trust me that i gave it my all
my skin is shed and i'm nothing but bone
you're poison in my veins, my disease
the end of everything we could be
and it's hard
to focus on our wants and i won't
leave you here in my arms 'cos you know
it never got easier
my disarray
leads me here when i need a safe place
i might lead you here into the flames
and right here we'll stay
tongue tied, what can i say
burrowed, i'm hiding away
go without me, save yourself
leave right now, i wish you well
it's been a while since we spoke
but it feels like a week ago
and you forgot what i look like
you won't see even if you try
you won't see me even if you try your best
i can't believe we continue trying again
'cos in the back of my mind i just know we'll end
let's not figure it out, let's just call it dead
i stay alive for a reason
and that reason is you
when my body is bleeding
it bleeds out just for you
Friends (Interlude)
oh she stole my heart
it's all i have
ooh drifting apart
but there ain't no way i'm giving up
it's all my fault
you said yourself
i took too long to answer
you called my your 'makeshift hell'
my patience thin
you told me you wanna stay as friends
i don't know how to take that in
but trust me i'll be alright
it's the same shit but a different day i
woke up in a different place i
don't really remember how i got so damn low
save me all your bullshit lies
i find it hard to push the lines
but ain't that what you wanted love?
ain't this what you needed oh?

100 degrees w/ decks

starsbeforesunrise

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