ｔｈａｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｇｕａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｓｈａｄｏｗｓ　ｍｅ

produced by dash vv
https://www.youtube.com/@dash8518

love y'all so much.
thank you for listening.
thank you for being here
more to come, in hopes

realistically wasting my time, and
don't claim you understand
you'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
we'll never last this
i wanna know myself 'fore i should take my life

the other side's so inviting

why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
i can see through the white lies
fuck a check, i ain't switch sides
matter of fact, think i'll own mine
call it wraps, called her 5 times
colon cramps, body's prolly fine
i been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
what the fuck

i hardly get any rest
when i lay me some ground
all my dreams make me sweat
well, honestly what'd i expect, i'm a tremor
who's born to make course with a crest
and since you've got room to assume,
i'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
but i'll say it once to conclude
it's only to falter youth

sending it down through my face to my gut
fireworks sound while i've waited enough
i ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
after effect of it damage and lunges
kicking and punching
wonder and covet
smoke in this oven i claim to be nothing
under the covers, i wake into sunder
and panic, then start to malfunction
these eyes are so indecisive
catching the sights that are so uninvited
well, anything but ultraviolet
going outside, my anxiety heightens
so i'll stay inside and be silent
minus the music and all of the crying
don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

she told me that i'm smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can start to feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

no one
to lend a hand
through the sawdust
in this foreign land
is this all that you want?
forever we run, even if we're not
indefinite rot
smoldered lungs while i talk

and no it ain't from the green
from birth i've been clean
but i kinda wanna be, to escape reality
no way this life was meant for me
never will i come to be fine with low expectancies
i'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
a frozen-hearted entity
thaw the guard that shadows me
too intolerant to speak
cut my lips and break my teeth
numb my limbs, but make it brief
i've got nowhere else to be
but miss the way it used to be
did you feel the same for me?

my eyes cry with the help of high life
can't you tell i repel with a fat lie
any sort of love will numb me;
numb enough to pass life
i sense two decisions
one's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

it was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
i ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
a couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
this not a game, fuck a charade
pressin the keys until i feel okay
throughout the day
'till i collapse and wake up on my face
block out the sound with a video game
or something to drink
lemon and sugar remind me of fate
it's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
sweet by the grain, ay

she told me i was smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

by the grain [prod. dash]

produced by speedlmt

lyrics:
before i found u
i was going through hell
oh do you miss me
im still going through hell
i still cant even tell
what its like to be me
she doesent miss me
she doesent miss me


i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

she my bandage
walking through the forest empty handed
blood on my screen
with dirt on my shoes
where have you been
i sorta miss you
well no defiently do 
im shaking in my room
i really hate this house
im shaking in my room
i need a way out
im shaking in my room
im shaking in my room
shaking in my room

i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

isolation

Been alone for a while i felt helpless 
didn't stop mean to question your intentions
you should've given a part of me lesser
i lost a half when i left your possession

oh i say im fine when im not 
cus i left the best part of me 
2 thousand miles away 
i swear to god when i get free 
i'll fall into ur eyes again 
surrender every enemy 
left in the trenches of war would you lay with me 

don't let me go 
i want more and i've given it all 
to the girl i adore 
im never enough 
no im never enough 
FUCK
ive tried to live it up 
but i feel like im nothing at all 
baby im such a dissapointment 
leave me with the ocean 

take me home where i belong 
i cant take it no more
a part of you evolved with me now i spread ash on the floor 
just wanna see you and im sorry love youre all that i want
ive waited years and now the months are getting harder to trust

trust
to trust
oh love youre all that i want
want
want

oh love youre all that i want

she says bless you everytime i ever open my mouth
and god i miss you theres no words to explain how

take me home where i belong 
i cant take it no more
a part of you evolved with me now i spread ash on the floor

bless you

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

Produced by @hiraethsry 
Check out @hiraethsry and @sinxi
Lyrics

You don't need a lot to get me fucked up in my head 
I barely keep a lock on anything I hold 
You wont know the things I really feel 
When I been up inside my bed 
I swear theres shadows in my room they keep me warm 

So I fuck up my room 
Throw your clothes all away 
I'm as toxic as the day 
you were cheating on me 
Put a ladder to your problems 
Cuz your tryna relate 
Kick the ladder while your climbing 
Falling down to your fate 

Call up, I don't want to love you anymore
              (stop,ok)
I don't want to do this anymore 
Had me fucked up even when we never talk 
Call up, I don't want to love you anymore
           (throwing fire)
I don't want to do this anymore 
Had me fucked up even when we never talk

I can’t relate 
To mistakes you seemed to make 
My hands are tied
My heart unwinds 
               
Sorry i’m late but these days 
I find it hard to make up for mental stains 
It ain’t you oh i promise love 
It’s just life drive for pinnacles
               (run)
Run I needed more I needed more I needed more time 
I know my patience is running on a thin line 
Leave I gotta leave I gotta leave I Gotta decline 
My body’s aching 
You can bring yours closer to mine 
Oh I 
Wont lie 
I’m getting sick of being just another guy 
Oh I
Wont lie

Call up, I don't want to love you anymore
              (stop,ok)
I don't want to do this anymore 
Had me fucked up even when we never talk 
Call up, I don't want to love you anymore
           (throwing fire)
I don't want to do this anymore 
Had me fucked up even when we never talk

RUN w/ sinxi & hiraeth

ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔ　ｍｅ　ｉｓ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｌｏｏｓｅ　ｅｎｄ

i love all of you guys seriously so much.
this is the only thing  i ever want to do, and your support helps push me to continue with all of this; i would regardless, but i'm grateful to no ends for whatever kind of reception is given back. things have been seriously difficult as of late, and so all i can say is thank you for being here. thank you for listening.
shit's kinda cliche when i say that, but that cliche shit is true sometimes, and i mean it; whatever. thank you 
hopefully just the beginning 

prod @cartermetro & @vito2300 

you left (you left)
i crashed (i crashed)
now all we ever had is in the past
(it's all in the past)
i'll stay (away)
detached (from that)
until the very moment i collapse

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
but i couldn't give a shit
hammered down any spite, bring out the knife
lying outside again

and my notes are filled with solutions,
that you might consider delusion
the old me is buried in ruins
the present me is just a loose end
turned off the phone for monochrome daydreams
'cause i don't give a shit if i'm wavy
i mean look at what happened to davy

making a point to you's crazy
crissin' it 'cross like an apple, how tasty
stuck in a drench, while i'm soaking in sweat
more or less i'm expecting nobody to save me
pokemon quest on the blue 2DS
nowadays i'm a wreck, and i stench what i'm craving
heart full of rust,
when the musk fermentates in my chest you can leave what you're hating

i got a pain in my neck, can't stretch it
the hurt in my voice can't be heard over message
so let's make a break where we got no connections
only direction, never perfection
when i talk to the sky, it'll always rain hail
bulimia fucking me up 'till i'm well
"the truth doesn't sell"
leave me for dead with the dread in my head and no breath to inhale

004, blunt force on the baby
there ain't a lure with the potent to save me
getting by as a passerby,
keeping lowered eyes, i'm already hazy
not that i'm lazy,
just marinating in lost time they never gave me
i'm short on breath, should i recollect
or detach, while i'm still straining
i hate that when i fall back into relapse
it's me i'm saving
what a nuisance, when i do this
you're clueless about what i'm saying
so, deuces, 'cause few stick when the roof lifts
i'm sick of waiting
got mucus on my blue lips
from fucked shit i feel on the daily

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
why should i give a shit
hammered down any spite, brought in the knife
i wanna die again

my heart's open
why is my heart open
quick, gotta close it
quick, gotta close it

collapse [prod. cxrter x vito]

1st song off my album "pity", out september 25th 

@lilskeleskrrt @bitekivibes @ytstatic
produced by me, guitar @ikarinan @tnvr555

lyrics:
i started running from you
too fast
n i fell to the ground
spilled out blood on the grass
you said you needed me
like you could never leave
and i fell for it dreaming
made it easy to breathe

but you broke it all
paper walls
you were supposed to be here
but you’re so good being gone
and i felt it all
8 missed calls
hit me up when u need me
and leave me hurt when you don’t

don’t act like you’re so innocent
like it’s not what you want
i gave u all that i had
while u were holding the gun
oh god
it was everything you said from the start
i was waiting on it falling apart

oh oh
what a waste of my time
but if it’s all with you
i’d gladly waste my whole life
oh no
i wish i didn’t say goodbye
the paper walls are burning down
our home is gone..

god damn
i feel my heart tear on every beat
the silence is deafening
truly it’s killing me
u try to forget who i am
i try to forget how your eyes were like thousands of galaxies..
oh, consumed i’m so lost in your stare
comfort i felt like i wouldn’t have fears
writing you poetry wishing you were here
if i held on longer would i still be scared

spotify

paper walls w/ skele

guitar by oc <3

lyrics:
gotta hide away 
i don’t wanna see my face
i don’t wanna know what i look like
running from my self
but she’s never not far behind 
i hate who i am now 
havent left this room in days 
bet everyone else has forgotten my face 
can’t continue on like this 
so i hide away 
not like you’d notice anyway 
so i hide away
i dont wanna see my face 
i dont wanna know what i look like 
running from myself but shes never not far behind 
never not far behide 
how do i get away from this place 
scars all over my surface

hide

prod by stezzyxl 
enjoy^\^

lyrics:
cover all my face with hair all over my eyes
i’m not confident, i bet u cannot recognize 
i’m invisible to everybody’s naked eyes
i don’t know what i’m doing here and i don’t know why
and tears fall like the rain in the night sky
her voice lingers in head like a lullaby
i’ll try to get over u when the time is right
but i’m not ready, so i’ll hold onto that goodbye 

i don’t know what i should say
i don’t know what i should do
i gotta reroute 
i gotta avoid that avenue
(x4)

ur a liar from ur heart
should’ve known from the start
(x2)

avenue

- ｇｕｅｓｓ ｉ'ｌｌ ｅｎｄｕｒｅ -
prod. kais
i love you guys<3 

lyrics:
where do i go from here
hm..
i miss my friends
im sick and insecure
hm..
guess i'll endure
guess things will never be how they were, no
and i'm not sure about anything anymore

i love you, i love you, i do
i'd hug you but my touch just goes right through
i told you, i told you i'm
gone, gone, gone.

where do i go from here
hm..
i miss my friends
im sick and insecure
hm..
guess i'll endure
guess things will never be how they were, nah
and i'm not sure about anything anymore

avenue

Stezzyxl

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