spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5lTeS2AOY3NyTELjl5sIHr?si=506ffc3f1c874be7

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
inspired by @starfall
mix n master by me
trying somethin different
this song means a lot
i hope you enjoy listening

///
oh ive been wrapped up in this hurt
for way too long
everything that i do man i do it for u
and youve taken advantage
what did i do? i just don't understand it
the mental strain is way too much for me
i ask you to stop and i plead on my knees
the dip in my confidence, what i achieve
everything that you are doing to me

or do you want me taking the drugs like the rest?
fail all my classes and blame it on meds
cause deep in my gut i dont think that you care
look in the mirror and pull out my hair

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

cause i try so hard
do what i can but i can't make it far
no i can't make it far
do what i can and i'm trying so hard

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

tired

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5tAXiV5Ty4zKs0Bjd45qXr?si=075203ff1f204884

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
mix n master by me
sc compressor is a pain
my best song, hope you enjoy

///
making up some stupid shit that doesnt matter at all
i fucking hate it here, wish i was never involved
i swear i'll move across the country fucking hate it all
i swear if you were in my shoes you would just take them off
and it's not like i'm trying,
to be what you want
i cannot put up with lying,
or tell me it's my fault
so don't you dare look in my eyes and act like you're so appalled
i get hurt so many times, i guess it's all just my fault

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,

don't give a fuck bout what the cost is
i've been feeling nauseous
laying in my bed and you would be the one to start shit
don't know where i fuckin' lost it
"what's with you and being honest?"
yea you told me it'd get better, and you motherfuckin' promised
yea i got this dream
that you were nowhere near me
that you would fucking fear me
look in my eyes so clearly,
fed up with you
yea you watch and reuse
how i fall apart,
and i don't know what to do so,

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so

breathe

put my jacket on
hiding in the rain
been a few hours man
remind me of the pain
these pills don’t work baby
look at the state i’m in
lights out eyes closed
i hate myself, it’s perfect timing

all my tears dry up
my mouth don’t make a sound
yuh
my mind goes round and round
the only way i’m going’s down
tears dry up (huh!)
my mouth don’t make a sound
nobody likes me in this town
in these bottles may i drown

@1spoder
uh yea one two (what?)
you've been on my back tryna ruin my mood
it's so confusing how you move
man i can't do this, beat and bruised
(evil laughter)
(fuck)
there's nothing left for me here
i can promise you, it was never fair
i'm so done with you fucking up my mental
i'm with sean best believe that we ain't gentle

@seannnfranco
and she said her name was (oooh ohh)
uhhh well i forget now
started with a tssss
made a s sound
she'll just follow me around until i get out
picture perfect i want it to be the best nowww
when im steppin out they say its calm still
if she like it then its cool but it was not real
mood calm cause im smoking out the bedroom
we were so young i just wish that i could get youuuu oh

my verse ew:
they tryna pull up on me
pretend like they care
all i hear is stories, anecdotes
so fucking self aware
and i’m boxed up locked up
these walls keep closing in
all i gotta do is say no
and they’re all the fucking same?

but this bridge tho!>!>!
and they’re all the fucking same!
yeah they so fucking lame
so over all their bullshit
anything they’d do for fame
keep my head down
i know i’m a selfish man (get it? get it? cos omg headphones reference)
keep my head down
(keep my head downnnn!!!)

put my jacket on
hiding in the rain
been a few hours
remind me of the pain
these pills don’t work baby
look at the state i’m in
lights out eyes closed
i hate myself, it’s perfect timing

all my tears dry up
my mouth don’t make a sound
yuh
my mind goes round and round
the only way i’m going's down
tears dry up (huh!)
my mouth don’t make a sound
nobody likes me in this town
in these bottles may i drown

circles

circles, +spoder, sean franco

@saiwai
@1spoder
@rywrrd
@redhxrse

@1spoder:
i don't want to fight so put your hands down
i just hit a cab, did the dash, like where i'm at now
way above the surface so i cant drown
if you got me then i got you there's no need to frown
i've been running round
i think i've got to bounce
you've been talkin out your neck
but i cant hear a sound
never thought the silence would be so loud
you live up in my mind and i can't get you out

@rywrrd:
we just walked in
yea pulled up to the party and we sparkin
i got no options
i told that bitch i'm pullin up but that is not it
bitch i'm posted up w roah and spoder
when i'm down feel like sosa cuz i hate bein sober
fucked it up when we talked like over and over 
bet u wanna talk now cause i skrt in tha rover
got me fucked up 
tried to hmu last week
but idgaf i'm not ur bestie
left me
in the dirt like last year
but idgaf cause this is my year!

@redhxrse:
ooh
yea i'm going thru the works
can’t believe it's getting worse
when i'm with u it's like a curse
ooh
problems that u need to fix
and u keep venting about shit
like i'm a fucking therapist
all them fucking parties where i'm standing in the corner
minding my own business but u couldn't be more forward
yuh this broken man is tryna give out all these hints
but u give no shits with u there ain't no subtlety
subtlety subtlety like look at all these bands on me
money ain't a problem when ur clinginess is all i see
put another k on the dash but ur still here
try n make it make sense cos i don't want u anywhere near

@1spoder:
i don't want to fight so put your hands down
i just hit a cab, did the dash, like where i'm at now
way above the surface so i can't drown
if you got me then i got you theres no need to frown
i've been running round
i think i've got to bounce
you've been talkin out your neck
but i cant hear a sound
never thought the silence would be so loud
you live up in my mind and i can't get you out

fight

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5aH6JWfAkWLyEXEwIY3HYP?si=c9882776859943a1
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/trust

produced by roku
written by me
mix and master by me

thanks for sticking with me

///
drop dead
when i said
i'll be back though :)
spending all my days at a microphone
tell em it's all broke, like your old folk
don't lie
said you wna die
give me some time
i'm hurt all over
i'll make it right
in need of a clover
but there's none here to find
is it all a little too much?
my love,
you shouldn't have broke my trust

but who am i?
jus another average skinny guy
go live your life
i can't say i understand it think my brain is fried
oh you're not tht broken
infatuation
in love with the idea of no moderation
5 pints 'fore you lay down
my dear,
rough past make you wanna leave town

heart race like a hundred miles
my fate has been sewn a while
upset when they read the file
disgust, how is it so vile?

jus let it down softly
how could you done harm me?
faceless
sorry
scarred up
hardly
was it all at my fault?
tough luck
i'm done speaking to a wall

drop dead
when i said
i'll be back though
spending all my days at a microphone
tell em it's all broke, like your old folk
don't lie
said you wna die
give me some time
i'm hurt all over
i'll make it right
in need of a clover
but there's none here to find
is it all a little too much?
my love,
you shouldn't have broke my trust

repeat

trust

@redhxrse (producer)
@oroahh
@lizablaise
@1spoder

@redhxrse
i feel the snowdrops touch
see them glisten in the sky
feeling cosy w a hot mug of coffee, 
oh, what a life!
n the nice warm glow of the fireplace
god, it could put me to sleep
i wish this season would never change
feel like I'm living the dream

hear the bells start ringing
and the snowman says hi
while the children in the distance
have their little snowball fights

@oroahh
it's 6pm now and the sun isn't out
the breeze is so cold when we were walking about
she was calling your name from like outta the crowd
don't leave her side yet
is it real bad that i doubt you?
don't get me wrong i feel like shit too
i feel the same
you fucked up this shit in like every which wayyy

@lizablaise
babe, it's getting so late
walk up to the door, you're driving me home
the glow on your face like lights that adorn
all the streets leading back to you
made my mind up, you're all i choose
last winter broke your heart in two
spin the record and watch our blues fade away
the mistletoe's waiting, the angels are pacing
impatiently i sway, then your hand's on my cheek
and the sleigh bells start ringing, my winter gloom's at bay

@1spoder
were you satisfied?
i lost my head in the snow, you found it
i wish i made it all up, i've fallen in love
there's no point to dance around it
i wanna watch all the snow pile up
frostbites cover my arms
up to my heart
there's no point in lying, it causes more harm
oh my dear you look frigid
the snow falls the same whether which way you put it
can you promise me one thing?
to let it down slowly

snowdrops

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/16aPg17al8DKBm8LyMn4eE?si=9f8e74ca0f344527
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/cd-feat-ry-2

guitar by othello
additional production by me and ryan
written and performed by me and ryan
with @rywrrd (show him love please)

i lied i'm sorry next one will be a summer tune <3
thank you for listening always :)

///
a toast,
play your cd
the music brings you peace
alone
so don't mind me
I had a stupid dream again

you thought you had from the start
I don't want have to break your heart
but it broke
and now that cd drowns in static
a sour note
I highly doubt it

your favourite song
your radio I turn it on
we fell in love in your shitty car
with static on your heart
screaming out our favourite part

I made a stupid decision
in my mind, clouded dumb inference
I gave it all that I had
but all I had was indifferent
I'd break my arms off to help you
if it meant that you would listen
I stare and talk to the wall
scratched disc had tarnished the image
I thought I loved you

cd w/ ry

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4I9bp9alDC4m9MT4GNLtOY?si=b589387c7a0a444c
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/able

produced by jonah bru
mixed written performed by me
cover art by yinon

valentines day song
hope you enjoy, more stuff soon :)
thank you for listening as always

///
show me how
show me how you love
tell me how
tell me how you feel
stop it love I'm exhausted
don't give it up, I thought you were someone that I-

don't tell me the time that I spent was no use
will I be more than (be more than)
problems to you?
oh I'll carry all my baggage to show you I'm able
you stutter your speech cause it's true

tread fine lines
when I'm with you it feels like there's no wrong or right
sworn by you, we'd grow older
my feelings attached
now I sit like a loner
oooh
I'll make sure that I'll
dooo
everything that you want me to
dumb ear had me in loop
what's there for me to do
don't give it up, I thought you were someone that I loved

don't tell me the time that I spent was no use
will I be more than (be more than)
problems to you?
oh I'll carry all my baggage to show you I'm able
you stutter your speech cause it's true

able

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by neverforever
additional production by me

They say, “give it time”
Suppose it’s only right
I wore a smile until the days had turn to night
I watched my knees give out as soon as I saw the text
I laid my conscience down to rest
I watched my options fade to grey
Till there was nothing left
I don’t wanna feel this way
I don’t wanna deal with it no more
The things I love about you
Are things I wish I could change

Are things I wish I could change
Are things I wish I could change
Wish I could change
You tore a hole in my brain
Pick up a piece of my remains
And leave the rest up to fate (are things I wish I could change)
Cause babe I feel like a slave
And I can’t deal with the pain
Don’t tell me it was all in vein
Oh these are things I wish I could change

change

produced by nvrmindreid
everything else by me
love ya

lyrics:

i've barely broke in my boots
the ones i got when you were aloof
have you took a look at the news?
i've hardly kept it together
hide both my arms in my sweater
i told my brothers i wan do something new
but i just end up doing shit like before
i broke my hands off just to build a new roof
and for a moment i thought i saw shore

i place my cards down face up
scour my room for a quick buck
spend all that dollars that i had
on something that gon make me feel sum
say you're bothered by the past
so won't you go ahead and do something
say you're bothered by the past
so won't you go ahead and do some-
i wrap my arms round my waist
how many days will it take
i look at you in the face
and tell a lie what a waste
i feel the weight of my body
i'm too ashamed to look up
exhale the smoke in my lungs
and forget where i came from

have you took a look at the news baby
you're even prettier now baby
spinning in my head all around baby
and i can't seem to get you out baby

i've barely broke in my boots
the ones i got when you were aloof
have you took a look at the news?
i've hardly kept it together
hide both my arms in my sweater
i told my brothers i wan do something new
but i just end up doing shit like before
i broke my hands off just to build a new roof
and for a moment i thought i saw shore

breaking in

welcome to the village.
enjoy your stay!

@oroahh
@1spoder
@rywrrd
@redhxrse
@1alladin
@lizablaise
@saiwai
@reefuh
@scrufff
@maxrrss
@1kaido

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